Learning from Regret

We all have things we look back on and wish were different. We regret saying or not saying something, being too busy for this person or ignoring that event. In the moment, our lives seem so busy and full and how could we possibly set it aside to make time for this other thing? We get in a heated debate and spill everything we’ve been thinking for years and walk away.

But then the moment passes. We realize how our words sounded or the unique opportunity we missed. And there are regrets. Because we are human and we aren’t perfect, we will make mistakes. And we will regret decisions we made or ignored. It’s not the regret itself to watch out for but rather what we do with it.

I’ve been regretting a lot recently. In May, a friend of mine passed away after a fight with cancer. It was a hard loss for many reasons but because of COVID, I had been unable to visit her the last few months of her life. We had set up a time but then got isolation orders. Over texts, I said as soon as it was safe, I wanted to see her. But she took a sudden turn and that safe time never came.

It’s difficult to not sort through in my mind all the times I could have seen her before March. We both had busy schedules and kids but surely there was an afternoon I could have texted and dropped by. Regret is a heavy burden to carry.

The truth in regret is that no matter what we do, we can’t change what’s already happened. We can apologize for words spoken hastily but they will always have been said. We can mentally rearrange past appointments to see how we could have made room for all that we missed but it doesn’t change the fact that we missed it. The moment is over.

But regret can teach us to make different decisions in the future and not repeat the mistakes of the past. If we know certain topics trigger anger and we have trouble communicating on those issues in a kind way, it may be best to step away from those conversations until we calm down. If someone pops in our mind, take a moment to text or call them. If we know we’ll be close to a friend’s neighborhood for other errands, call before and ask they’ll be home for a quick stop. Leave a note, cookies, flowers….

The older I get the more I realize relationships take effort but they are so valuable. Even for an introvert like myself, I love hearing how my friends are doing, how I can pray for them. I enjoy sending notes and special treats just because they were on my mind and I wanted to encourage them. Yes, all this takes time. Yes, it takes effort and planning. But I have never regretted doing it. And it often encourages me just as much as the person I was reaching out to.

I know there will always be regrets on this side of heaven. But I want to intentionally try to lessen them. I want to learn to make time and reach out and watch my comments. I want to seize the time I’ve been given and make it count in the lives of others.

Photo by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash

Homeschool Resources

There are so many places for educational resources out there! It’s easy to get bogged down or not even know where to start! If you are new to homeschooling or if you just want some educational things for your kids, I hope you find this helpful.

Before you start looking for resources, I would recommend knowing what type of homeschooling method or style you plan to follow. I’m not going to get into all the options here but it will dramatically change what you look for depending on your philosophy {unschooling, Charlotte Mason, traditional, classical, literature based, etc.}.

NOTE: If you don’t know what I’m talking about, this post from Pam Barnhill is a great breakdown of the methods of homeschooling and some resources for each type. If you want information on starting to homeschool, check out this post from Confessions of a Homeschooler.

There is always Amazon but I’ve been surprised to find some curriculum and games less expensive on some of the sites listed below. It pays to look around! So let’s get into a few of the great places to look for educational supplies!! I’ll mention if the website is Christian or carries Christian curriculum. I’m sure I’m leaving out some but these are websites I’ve shopped on or heard about in my homeschool community. In no particular order:

1. Lakeshore Learning - I love so many things here! Great bulk art/craft supplies, fun games and puzzles and toys, daily journals. You can get an educator card — even as a homeschooler — for a discount.

2. Oriental Trading Co. - Did you know they have a whole education line?! Lots of craft supplies, notepads, stickers. I get their pom-poms and buttons for counters to use in math.

3. Dover Publishers - When I was little, it was always a treat to get paper dolls from Dover. They have paper dolls or sticker dolls to show the fashion of just about every era, previously out of print books, novels, stickers, activity books. They are a great place to check for inexpensive fun ‘fillers’ to your school curriculum.

4. Barnes and Noble - Of course you know they have books! But did you know you can get an educator card and receive 20% off all purchases {except things like Legos}? I like to take my kids and let them pick out a book or two, then stop at the cafe for a sweet treat and coffee to start the school year!

5. Rainbow Resource - This is a great place to look for discount curriculum and books. I’ve found so many fun things here, including Usborne books! They are a Christian company and have a great selection of Bible curriculum, books, etc. It’s very easy to get overwhelmed on their site; they have a ton of stuff for all ages. I like to request a free catalog to browse instead of searching online. They send out a curriculum catalog and a separate catalog for educational toys, books, and manipulatives.

6. Timberdoodles - This is a new company to me but I’m impressed with what they have. You can get complete curriculum kits if you aren’t sure what you want or some fun educational toys. My daughter is very intrigued by the Graphic Library history books {like comic books} that we found here. This is a Christian company but you can get secular curriculum/kits.

7. Christian Book Distributors - As the name implies, this is a Christian company. But they have an entire search option for homeschool supplies. They frequently have sales and also offer popular curriculum {Bob Jones, A Beka, Saxon, etc.}. I’ve gotten some Melissa and Doug educational toys from here at great prices.

8. Mardel - Another Christian company that offers big name curriculum, often at a discount. They also have planners {I’m using their homeschool planner and really loving it!}, religious shirts and jewelry, and Bibles.

9. Masterbooks - If you are familiar with Answers in Genesis, you’ll recognize this name. They publish many of the books Ken Ham has written but they also have their own curriculum. I’m planning to use, “A Child’s Geography: Explore Viking Realms” and “Passport to the World” for part of our unit lessons this fall. I also love all their resources about dinosaurs and creation for kids.

10. Homeschool Used Book - I recently found this site through the Well-Planned Gal page. This is an online place for you to sell and buy used curriculum. They offer a range of grades, curricula, and subjects and note on each one the condition of the item and the discount from retail price. Many are 50%+ off!!

11. ThriftBooks - I’m a fan of book buying but especially discount book buying! ThriftBooks has just about any book and DVD and if they don’t currently have it, you can add it to a wishlist and be notified when they get one in. I’ve saved so much money comparing here to Amazon. I usually pay about half what it is on Amazon. They have a points program and you can earn free books by buying books, sending friend referrals, and using their mobile app. They have adult books, cookbooks, UsBorne, picture books, dictionaries….

12. Home Science Tools - Last year I ordered the science kit that went with our curriculum and we received in one box all the materials to do all the experiments listed in my third grader’s science book! They have kits that go with a variety of curricula and also offer individual things like microscopes, dissection kits, chemistry supplies, weather and geological experiments, and more.

13. UsBorne - I love UsBorne books! They are great quality, colorful, educational, and cover so many topics. I look for these books on other sites {a few I mentioned above} but there are certain titles that are impossible to find unless you go straight to the source. We love the Lift a Flap, Shine a Light, and doodle books from here!

14. A Child’s Dream - This is a Waldorf method website. They have mostly arts and crafts type things and not as many books. I haven’t ordered from them but they have high quality wool, felt, and painting supplies.

15. Nature Watch - If you want rocks, minerals, butterfly kits, fossils, and other hands-on things about nature, this is a great site! If you teach a Co-Op class or want a fun activity for a group of kids, they also have craft kits that are less expensive the more you order {does that make sense?}. I haven’t ordered from here but I have my eye on a few things if the budget allows.

Now, you can also go to publisher’s websites and order straight from them for curriculum. I have not ordered or used curriculum from all these companies but I know families that do use products from the companies listed and have recommended them to me. I’ve mentioned a few of the major ones below.

If you are interested in classical learning: Classical Conversations, Memoria Press, Classical Academic Press.

If you are interested in Charlotte Mason: Beautiful Feet Books, Ambleside Online.

If you are interested in traditional learning: Bob Jones Press, A Beka.

A few other companies are: All About Learning Press, Sonlight, My Father’s World, Math-U-See, The Good and the Beautiful, Rod and Staff.

Like I said, knowing your homeschool teaching style/method is important so you don’t get bogged down in all the possibilities! It is possible to mix things. We are traditional style {using Bob Jones Press for most things} but we use Song School Latin from Classical Academic Press and New American Handwriting from Memoria Press. But I like using the same company for our core subjects because it gives a cohesion and familiarity to our school day and makes sure we’re not forgetting something.

If you are feeling like homeschooling is impossible, don’t give up! Just choose one of the above websites and start looking around. You don’t have to buy everything available to get started. Just get your core subjects {math, language arts, science}, start slow, get comfortable, and gradually expand. You also don’t have to buy everything at once. I’ve ordered supplemental books or activities in October once I saw what we were learning for the year and what my kids enjoyed doing.

Please comment below if you have questions! I’d love to help and encourage you if I can.

Photo by J Kelly Brito on Unsplash

Growing in Grace

We homeschool our children. We chose to do that for many different reasons {read more about why here}. But ultimately, when we tell people that we homeschool, I’ll receive looks of compassion and long suffering and hear, “You must be such a patient person.”

My gut reaction is to laugh in their face. But my mom raised me to be polite so I smile and reply, “Not always.” You see, for all the reasons I teach my kids, being patient isn’t one of them.

When we decided on home education, it was the simplest decision and the hardest decision to make. Simple because I love watching my kids learn, I want to know what they struggle with and who they hang out with and what they are exposed to. Hard because I knew it would require sacrifice. It meant my time and energy every morning would be wrapped up in their education and needs. Some days are still hard but I never regret the decision to homeschool. It’s taught me just about as much as I’ve taught my kids, only in a deeper sense than reading and math go.

In our state, I needed to fill out an affidavit to file with the county giving my intention to homeschool and take responsibility for my children’s education. I didn’t fill it out flippantly; the gravity of what I was committing to weighed on me. On part of the affidavit, I was asked what the name of our school was. I paused to consider. Names are something I don’t take lightly. A name, a title, speaks volumes about what you want to stand for and represent. And I’m a classic over thinker, non decisive person.

Finally, I landed on Growing in Grace Academy. Not because I think we’ve arrived and we’re waiting for the world to catch up. But because we continually need to do it! One secular definition for grace is, “the manifestation of favor to an individual” but the biblical definition is, “receiving a gift I don’t deserve.” I want my kids to learn to demonstrate grace to others and remember the grace that God has already lavishly bestowed on them.

We have a warped view that grace is for salvation and then we keep walking. But grace continues to follow us through the sanctification process!! We never outgrow our need for grace!! And God abundantly provides it. In the same way, we need to show grace to others. Even if we feel they don’t deserve our forgiveness, our love, our empathy. We show up and say, “God offers you grace and so do I.” And we pray for them and forgive and don’t allow bitterness to take root.

Naming our school Growing in Grace is a daily reminder of what I want to be doing and how I want to be an example to my kids. I want to show them I need grace and I also give grace. I forgive bad attitudes and love them through their struggles. I ask for forgiveness and apologize when I raise my voice. I remind them no one is perfect and we all fall short. We all need grace and we all need to give grace.

So as we homeschool, as I go about my mornings correcting spelling words, handwriting form, and grammar structure, I always have the amazing gift of grace before me. And I strive to show it, live it out, grow in it through my teaching and life. I get multiple chances a day to try and — with God’s grace — I pray I show it to those around me.

Photo by Maarten Deckers on Unsplash.

Choosing Books

I mentioned in a previous post about letting your kids read what interests them. However, that doesn’t mean you have your hands off the wheel of what they’re being exposed to. So how can you help your kids make good choices about books?

I think one of the keys is communication. Even once children can read for themselves, parents shouldn’t leave them to their own devices. There are a lot of crazy books out there!! And mature topics are being introduced at earlier ages. So as a parent or caregiver, communicating with the children is so crucial. Ask what they’ve learned, why they love that series, or read some of it for yourself.

Another key is to be the gatekeeper. My kids know when we go to the library, I can veto any book they want to put in the bag. They are welcome to browse and bring me books that look interesting to them, but if I look through it and decide it wouldn’t be best, they know I will put it back. End of story. This hasn’t happened often but I have reshelved books and said it’s not something I want them reading.

In order to be a gatekeeper, you have to know what you want in and what you want to keep out. Reading preferences vary from house to house and depend on your children’s ages, how sensitive they are to scary/frightening things, etc. We have made a rule to not read things {at this time} with witches, zombies, or other scary type creatures. Even in picture books, we have decided to not go there. If we get books about dinosaurs from the library, my kids know I won’t read the evolution stuff. We read about archaeologists digging up bones and how large the dinosaurs were but not the millions of years parts. Knowing what you want your kids learning from books and dwelling on is crucial to picking out good literary choices!

Since I love reading, researching children’s books and series is fun for me. I also have so many fond memories of books I loved as a child that I want to share with my kids. But if you weren’t/aren’t a bookworm, I suggest looking up “Laura’s List” by Beverly Darnall. It is a wonderful resource to get ideas of books for children of all ages. There is also “Books Children Love.” These books give the title, author, age range, and basic description of the story.

If you would like a Christian mom’s perspective, I recommend the “Read Aloud Revival” website. Sarah Mackenzie is a homeschool mom who is passionate about getting kids to read…and families to read together. She offers recommends and reading lists on her website and talks books on her podcast of the same name.

Choosing books can be daunting if you just step into a library or bookstore with no idea what you’re looking for. But with these guidelines and a little prep work, you — as a parent or caregiver — can help your kids make great choices about what they’ll read and introduce them to the wonderful world of books.

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

Kids Loving Books

Summer is almost here! Outdoor activities are calling!

I love summer. Flowers blooming, kids laughing, sitting outside, fresh breezes blowing. As a homeschool mom, summer gives me a chance to do things in the morning besides school. And those things are usually reading and researching for our next school year!

It’s no secret that I love books. Reading is one of my favorite ways to unwind and relax and spend a day. I don’t go in for audiobooks much — I need to see the words to really follow along. But going to the library is one of my favorite past times and it’s something I love sharing with my kids.

I get a lot of questions from people about choosing books for their kids or getting their kids to love reading. And summer is a great time to start a reading habit! Even though I love having my kids play outside during the summer months, it’s also important to keep learning. We make time everyday for books. Sometimes it’s sitting on the couch before dinner, sometimes it’s sitting in the shade outside taking a break with a snack and Kool-Aid. And sometimes it’s right before bed to help calm down.

For the next few blogs, I’m going to be sharing all things about kids and books. This first post is to hopefully help you get your kids reading! Let’s start with some tips for getting your kids interested in reading and for making time everyday for it.

1) Let them find what interests them. When my oldest was really little, I read the books that I loved as a child or simple board books. As she got older and started reading by herself, her preferences started showing. So I asked her what things interested her about the books she chose. A certain time period? A certain animal? Country? With her input, I searched Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and the library for books that might appeal {you can do this from home!}. On one of our library trips {before COVID}, I showed her some of the books I had found. She picked what she wanted to try. I’ll be honest, there were some books I really wanted her to read that she declined. But I knew I couldn’t force her to love the same things I do. And I can always try to introduce it again when she’s older.

2) Introduce fiction and non fiction. I’ve been amazed at how much my six year old gravitates to non fiction. He wants books about animals and different countries and science more than anything else. With the exception of a few super hero books, he always wants to check out non fiction books first. Even non fiction kids books are usually harder to read than fiction because they use words kids aren’t used to seeing or hearing. But I don’t mind reading the books aloud if it catches his interest and teaches him something.

3) Ask them about what they read. This is huge and, I think, under appreciated. When my daughter started reading American Girl books, it opened a whole new dialogue of conversation between us. I read many of those books when I was her age and remembered the characters and stories enough to comment. So when Kirsten’s friend died of cholera, my daughter wanted to know what the disease was, how she could have gotten sick, etc. When Molly met a friend from England, we talked about children having to leave their families because it wasn’t safe to stay in their homes. When she started reading Horse Diaries and Dog Diaries, series that weren’t around when I was younger, I deliberately asked about the horses and dogs, the breeds, what they did, why they had a book written about them. She never ran out of things to tell me. Kids are people {duh, right?!} and they enjoy knowing others are interested in hearing from them. I’ve found sometimes kids have questions they are dying to ask but they don’t know exactly how to open the conversation. If we ask, look out!

4) Make the time. We can’t force our kids to love reading but we can give them opportunities without them feeling like they are missing out on something more fun:

When you start making lunch or dinner, call kids to the couch for a ‘wind down’ time before the meal. Have a stack of books for them to look at. If your kids can’t read yet, encourage them to look at the pictures and guess what the story is about and promise to read it together after dinner.

During the hottest part of the day, call the kids to the shade with a snack and a book to read aloud. Even my eight year old still enjoys listening to me read. Sometimes she asks me to read aloud to her while she colors or draws.

Find a book or series you can read as a family at a specific time of day. Choose what works for your schedule. I know some families who read together after breakfast or dinner. We usually do it before bed. We’ve read two Chronicles of Narnia, Pilgrim’s Progress, several Bible story books, and Bible devotional books.

A big reality is that it won’t be picture perfect, especially when you’re first starting. Little kids will roam off to play, big kids will roll their eyes. Don’t give up! It takes consistency and time. We have a basket where we keep all our library books, fully accessible to everyone. They know they can look at them anytime.

In my next post, I’ll talk more about choosing books and and building your own library.

One of the things I tell my kids is that when you know how to read, you can learn anything. It truly is a beautiful and wonderful gift.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Be Kind

Does it really need to be said? Apparently it does.

It has grieved and.troubled me how rational, Bible believing people have turned to anger, suspicion, and hate toward other Christians and unsaved alike. And to compound the issue, they are taking to social media where anyone can see their hatred and rage. I recently observed an online conversation that started with, “A video I posted was removed by Facebook” and within 20 comments had escalated to name calling, threats of unfriending, and some really angry remarks that had nothing to do with the original post.

So let’s pause a moment and gain some wisdom from a rabbit.

In the animated movie, Bambi, a rabbit named Thumper makes an observation about the fawn which is true but not necessarily nice. The mother rabbit asks, “What did your father tell you this morning?” To which Thumper replies reluctantly, “If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.” What wisdom from a bunny! My Me-Ma had another saying along these lines that she loved to pop into conversation when someone was struggling: “Pretty is as pretty does.” Meaning act pretty (kind) if you want to be pretty on the outside.

But that seems to be the farthest thing from anyone’s mind right now. Everyone cares about stating their opinion and sharing why anyone who disagrees is wrong.

So indulge me in a little refresher course on what kindness is.

1) Kindness is speaking in love. Sometimes we need to share the truth with others and oppose what they are saying BUT that is in reference to people speaking against God, glorifying sin/sinful behavior, etc. And even then, it needs to be in an attitude of love. At this point, we could stop and read all of I Corinthians 13 but let’s just focus on verse 4: “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant.” Don’t forget Ephesians 4:32: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

2) Kindness is sensitive. Do you know the situation/circumstance/life story of every person you contact? We have no idea what other trials or decisions people are facing, especially if we’re only engaging with them on social media. I have been hurt by something someone posted just after a huge trial in my life. It might not have been directed at me personally but the tone and condemnation of what was written hit me at a very fragile time. I know some of you are rolling your eyes, thinking, “If I did that, I’d never post anything. I can’t think of every person’s emotional state before I say something.” It’s true, people are accountable for the way they take things and for their attitude and actions after. But that doesn’t give us the right for angry, insulting remarks. Recognize that people have reasons for choosing to wear a mask/not wear a mask/stay home/go to the park, etc. And it’s not our place to shower criticism or anger on their personal choices.

3) Kindness is humble. Have you ever been wrong? Have you ever passionately stood behind something and then changed your mind as you got older, learned more, etc? We all have and in this current age of technology and information, we receive new information constantly. And it contradicts! And it changes! And the media does have a bias and does report negative, scary news because that is what gets clicks! “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Phil. 2:3) Be careful to not shout your knowledge in an attempt to look smart, thumb your nose at others, or look more spiritual. That is not humility and that is not thinking of others. Philippians 2 is all about the humility of Christ and how we are to follow that example.

4) Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. We are told in Galatians a list of nine things that should be evident in a Christian’s life. Kindness happens to be one of them. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Gal. 5:22-23) 

I’m just going to throw this out there for you to consider: if you read something that really burns you up and you want to belittle the author or the person who posted, go to your bathroom and talk to the wall. Or write it all out in a notebook. Do you know how many times I’ve complained or vented frustrations to myself and when it was over, I was very glad I was the only one who heard my angry words? Things spoken in anger are rarely helpful. If you need to get it out, do it alone. The internet doesn’t need more venom.

I know sometimes we post things that aren’t meant to offend; we’re sharing information or articles for people to consider. But if someone posts a comment disagreeing or angry about the article, we need to monitor our response and decide if it’s worth engaging. Every comment doesn’t need a reply. Most people who comment on social media aren’t looking for a real discussion of pros and cons and you probably won’t change their mind, even with a well-crafted response. They just want to get their two cents in. It’s okay to walk away first.

Here’s my last thought on this. On social media, we don’t know who will read what we say. Please be considerate and remember, everyone is struggling to make their own decisions based on what is best for their families and within their states guidelines. Don’t think people are just following the crowds and haven’t given thought to their choices.

Let’s cover ourselves and each other in prayer. Think about your responses before responding. Remember, you’ll be worshiping, going to family picnics, interacting with these people who have witnessed and observed you online. Guard your heart. Trust God. Be humble.

Just be kind.

Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash

Don't be Discouraged

Waiting is hard.

It often breeds discouragement as we believe the longer we have to wait for something, the less likely it is we will succeed. This can be true for waiting for a husband, a baby, the perfect job offer, and the list goes on. Waiting and discouragement thread through life in many ways.

I love reading books. Although I read a lot of non fiction, I love a good novel too. I’ve come to realize, however, that I love getting to the finish but I’m not always a fan of the journey. No, I’m not one of those crazies who reads the last chapter of the book before starting the beginning. But if the journey takes too long, if the hero makes too many mistakes along the way, I’ve been known to skim a few pages. But without the struggle the climax would be less satisfying. The triumph of the hero succeeding is made more spectacular by all the obstacles he had to overcome to get there.

And so it is in reaching our goals. Often we don’t take the time to celebrate or even realize we had a small victory toward our main objective. We instead focus on what others are doing, what others are accomplishing. When we face disappointment, it’s hard to imagine rising above discouragement, working and continuing on although the odds seem stacked against us. But when we reach that goal, the joy is all the greater because of what we’ve experienced along the way. We can look back at specific moments when we could have given up. But look how we came through!!

I love hearing about people who work hard and accomplish their goal. But it has burdened my heart when I see friends and acquaintances getting book deals, opening businesses, living their dreams. I thought, “They’re moms too. When did they find time to do that? I’m so behind.” It is basically a pity party but it makes me doubt what I love doing. I wrongly measure success off of the timing that others were succeeding in. And I don’t take into account the years and tears and sacrifices that they have gone through.

I’m reading the life of David in my Bible reading. Talk about waiting!! He served the king he knew he was going to replace and hid for years from that same king! He knew what God had promised but he waited and waited. Several times David could have killed Saul and sped up the timeline {at least in human eyes}. But he wanted things to happen in God’s timing, not because he acted impatiently.

I would really love this time of quarantine to end and everything to go back to before. I would really love to be published and hold a book with my name on it in my hands. I don’t want to wait weeks or months to go to coffee with a friend. I don’t want to wait years for all my words currently sheltering in notebooks to find their way into the broader world of books. I want to know that there is an end and it will be the ending I want in the time I want.

But that thinking isn’t healthy or biblical. Instead of focusing on what we want to keep from being discouraged, when we find ourselves in the middle of something, we must turn our desires and disappointments and expectations over to God and wait for his timing.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Who Do You Pray For?

The last month has taught me something important: there is always something or someone I can pray for.

With social distance meaning I can’t meet with friends and ladies from church, I’ve resorted — like so many others — to keeping in touch electronically. Texting, Zoom meetings, Marco Polo, email, Facetime, and Messenger have all become part of my daily, regular schedule. Even my children have been catching up with friends and family and doing piano lessons online. It’s strange but I’m thankful we have the option and availability to check in and catch up, even while staying home.

Without fail, as I chat with others, I ask how they are doing and what I can pray for. Those are questions that should be part of our regular dialogue with friends and family but somehow, in the midst of parties, fellowships, playdates, and gatherings, those are often the questions left unsaid while we instead talk about the movies we’ve seen, the deals we’ve found, the crazy lives we lead. And usually when we do ask friends how they are, we anticipate the standard, “I’m fine,” or “Doing great” and we’re happy to leave it at face value and not pry too much.

But there’s something about not being face to face that makes me crave real connection. Not that other interactions are pointless but there’s only so much you can talk about when people haven’t left their houses in a month!! And after every text, every message, I stop and pray for that person, for whatever peace or strength or grace they need.

And I didn’t always do that. I was usually running somewhere or sending a brief message between household tasks. And, I thought, “I’ll catch up with them on Sunday.” But during the last month, those Sundays and Bible studies and Awana nights haven’t happened and to stay in touch with friends, I’ve had to get creative. With short communications the only way to connect with people and with the stay at home orders cancelling any and all reasons I have to leave the house, I’ve found myself thinking about my friends more and praying for them.

One of the great realities in this quarantine is that some of my struggles are probably similar to what my friends and family are struggling with. Feeling boxed in? Fear/anxiety of the unknown? Frustration over cancelled plans? Weary of kids complaining? Craving a few minutes to myself? Yep, as I chat with my friends, these are very real hardships for all of us. So where before someone would come to mind and I’d think, “I don’t know what she needs, I’ll ask her on Sunday,” now I think, “She’s at home with her kids, she’s unable to follow her regular routine, she’s trying to figure out working from home…I think I know what to pray for.”

You see, before it was almost like I was afraid of ‘wasting’ a prayer on someone who might not need it. Which is a crazy idea!! God knows what every individual needs, even if I don’t, and He will meet those needs, even if I don’t know what to specifically pray about. My part is to faithfully, humbly come before Him and bring my praise and requests. Even if it’s the simple, “Be with her today.”

I’ve also realized during this month that there are people I should be praying for regularly that somehow slip by my mind unless I know a certain request they’ve mentioned to me. Have you ever noticed it’s easy to consistently pray for the same things and people? Almost like you put your prayer life on auto pilot. But quarantine has brought so many people to mind that I realize I don’t always pray for or maybe I do sporadically.

To help myself, I made a list to keep by my Bible and I’ve also restarted the practice of praying through our church directory. Below is a printable of people — general, not specific — I’ve been burdened and reminded to keep in my prayers. If you would benefit from such a list, please feel free to download and print it. I also wrote a few things you might pray for under each group, just in case you don’t know where to start. Pray these things for others and yourself.

One of my constant prayers through all this is that we would come out the other side of quarantine grateful, thankful, loving, compassionate people.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash.

The Balance of Mothering and Creating

For years, I’ve had this struggle: finding the balance between being a mom and being a creative.

I love my kids and I love homeschooling them and watching them learn and grow. I’m so thankful for the things they have taught me and the ways they have stretched me. But I miss working on a project without interruptions. I wish I could sit and write when the inspiration hits instead of scribbling disjointed thoughts on a paper that lays beside my computer for weeks until I get to it. It’s hard to pursue what I love while fully giving attention to the people I love.

I don’t think this is an unusual struggle. I think moms everywhere are trying to find a balance. Maybe for you it’s painting, photography, baking, DIY projects. There’s something you love that inspires you and pulls on you. But you are reminded daily {hourly?} that there is a more important pull, one that won’t always be there. The desire to play and create with your kids, to teach them new things and read your favorite stories aloud. To answer their questions and comfort their fears. You know they won’t always run to you or climb in your lap. So you put your dreams aside with a sigh and embrace the joy before you.

In my quest to spend my time wisely and make room for my hobbies, I’ve read books and blog posts about this delicate balance. They all suggest working while the little ones sleep, rising early, dedicating Sunday afternoon/evening to your craft. But sometimes those aren’t possible. Kids who don’t nap, seasons of sickness and transition when you have to grab any rest you can get, obligations that take the first of your limited free time. These are all real struggles. It doesn’t mean you aren’t seizing every moment. Sometimes there aren’t many moments to seize.

The last few years have been the most difficult for me. Two children in a row that didn’t nap or sleep well at night left me exhausted. Going from two kids to three upped the laundry, cleaning, cooking, argument settling. Changing up our homeschool routine meant I needed to spend more time planning and prepping and overseeing. My desire to write never left or diminished. It just got pushed to the side. And while I’m okay with that because I love being with my family, there’s still the urge to journal and research and read in every moment of space — no matter how small. I’ve been known to stand at the stove, stirring sauce with a book in my other hand. I carry a notebook in my purse and sometimes scribble a question or thought before I climb out of the car to grocery shop.

I have no great advice on pursuing your creative dreams and desires while balancing mom life. I haven’t found a magic formula, a golden hour, a tried and true routine. When my family needs me, I try my best to be there. I try to put them first in my time and energy, even when that means I don’t get ‘creative space’ every day. But I also acknowledge that they can join my creative pursuits. I take my pen and paper outside while they play, I tell them my ideas while we eat lunch together, I turn the music loud so they can dance behind me while I’m typing. It’s not perfect. But we make it work. And I continue to wait. And write. And trust God to meet me where I am.

Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash.

Counting Those Blessings!

When I was in college, I went to the Ukraine on a mission trip. The first weeks we were in two different cities; lots of concrete, tall apartment buildings, people everywhere. But then we made a trip into the countryside to visit some smaller churches and communities. I remember watching field after field of poppies and wildflowers pass by the van windows. So beautiful in various colors and heights, as far as you could see flowers, impossible to count individual blooms.

I like to think of blessings as being like those fields of flowers. So many things come and go in our lives, many more than we could count, but still worth looking out the window for, still worth acknowledging the beauty and joy they bring.

We all know we have things to be thankful for. We repeat to strangers sometimes, “Yes, I’m so thankful that….” But are they things we repeat because we know we should be thankful for them or have we ever sat and thought about it?

So far, in this social distancing we are practicing, I haven’t run out of things to do. But knowing that I’m not going to be late for an appointment, I don’t need to guess how long it’ll take to wrangle my kids into the van…I’ve been taking time each day to stop and think, even gaze out the window, and count my blessings.

In times when things are taken away and so much is beyond our control, I tend to realize how much I really do have. It’s a cliche but in times of plenty it’s easy to believe ‘this is just the way it is.’ And then those things are slowly — or quickly — gone and we see what really matters.

Now, I know these are trying times and sad things are happening. I’m not proposing we ignore the grief or the gravity of a situation by pasting on a smile and mustering through. But continuous dwelling on bad, frustrating, hard things isn’t healthy. It messes with our minds and attitudes. It plunges us into further chaos and despair. We need to acknowledge the grief and difficulty of our situation and then turn our attention to the only One who truly understands.

We are well acquainted with Philippians 4:8-9 when we are instructed to ‘think on these things’ with a list of specific qualifications. But the verses proceeding are just as important and beneficial to recite.

‘Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.’ {Phil. 4:4-9}

In these verses, we are told to rejoice, to not be anxious, to pray, and then God will give peace. Then — taking those instructions a step further — Paul tells us what to fill our minds with to help us rejoice and not be anxious and pray!! So, a great beginning to filling our minds with things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praise worthy is to remind ourselves of all God has given us {ie counting our blessings} in the midst of everything that could be causing us anxiety.

So, let’s make the next weeks full of gratitude and praise for what we have in the midst of chaos! No blessing is too small to mention. Instead of complaining about what we can’t do, let’s be grateful for what we can enjoy! Think what a difference our positive attitude could make, even just in our solitary, isolated homes!

I encourage you to start a journal {here I go again!} and try to list just three different things each day. As you go on, you might find three a small, confining number. The sky’s the limit! Write the date, your list, and offer a prayer of thanks. The next day, repeat! At the end of the week, read over your lists and marvel at what God has given.

This is a great activity to get kids thinking about the good happening in a time when everything seems wrong and unfair. Encourage them to keep their own list {if they can write} or draw pictures. Talk about them over dinner since you won’t have anywhere you need to rush off to. I’m not pretending this is easy or a one-then-done situation. It is a daily, conscious, deliberate act which is why writing it down is such a great practice! But I do believe it is beneficial, encouraging, helpful, and good!

And in the long run, I don’t think you will regret any effort it takes in the here and now. Start with three a day. Dwell on those three. And see how quickly it blossoms into so many more.

Photo by Laurentiu Iordache on Unsplash

Mom + Kid Devotions - Psalm 119

I’m not sure if it’s the extra time at home that everyone seems to have or what but people have been asking me for ideas to study the Bible with their kids. As I searched through the free resources some blogs and websites are offering, I noticed they were either/or: they were for kids or they were for moms.

Of course, you can always do a children’s devotion with your kids and learn from it and you can modify and simplify what you read for your kids. But I wondered if it wouldn’t be helpful to have one passage for mom and kids to read/study, some questions to think about and answer, and of course an activity!!

I started putting this simple study together on Psalm 119. The goal is not to overwhelm but to help you read and think about God’s Word together. Here’s some things to keep in mind:

• Break it into different days. This devotional isn’t designed to do in one day. Try one of these approaches: 1) read the entire Psalm one day, review and ask questions the next, do the activity while you review the key verse the third day, etc. Or 2) since Psalm 119 is already divided into sections of eight verses each, read one section and answer the questions each day. For smaller children, that breaks it into easier chunks to read and think about.

• For older kids, have them write out the answers to the questions listed under “For Mom.” You could also encourage them to think about/write down how the verses apply to them, what it teaches about God and his character, questions they have.

• Have kids who can read take turns reading the verses aloud.

• When you do the activity, talk about why it’s important to put God’s Word in our hearts opposed to other things. Remind them that the Bible is profitable for ANY circumstance we find ourselves in.

Below you’ll find the link to a 2-page PDF you can print off for free. I started reading Psalm 119 with my kids today and asking these questions. By keeping it simple, my prayer is that it’s easy for you to use and adapt to your family without being overwhelming or “just one more thing.”

Please let me know in the comments or over on my Instagram account if you find this helpful and would like more Bible studies like this to print and use with your kids. Stay healthy and stay home!

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.

Trust the God of the Bible

The world is a crazy place right now.

I usually don’t follow the news. I’ll read major headlines and I read a newsjournal magazine each week with a rundown of what’s going on in the world. But I’m not keeping up everyday. However, what’s going on now with COVID-19 is impossible to close off from.

In the midst of stopped plans, schedules, and routines, I’ve been attempting to fill my mind with God’s truth instead of the anxiety that swells around. I KNOW God is in control. I KNOW this doesn’t surprise him. I KNOW my plans aren’t the end all be all of life. But sometimes, when we’ve come to rely and depend on our ability to plan and control and do what we want, KNOWING something needs to sink in deeper.

In my Bible reading plan for the year, I’ve been traveling the wilderness with the Israelites so far. In my last week of reading, I came across some incredible verses that reminded me of who God is. Let me share just one with you. In the opening chapters of Deuteronomy, Moses is reminding the Israelites what has happened over the past 40 years. From leaving Egypt to refusing to enter the Promised Land, from wandering in the desert to disobeying God, he lays their not so glamorous history before them. Then in chapter 4, Moses commands obedience, forbids idolatry, and tells them {again} about the amazing God who has guided them all those stumbling, complaining years.

…know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other. {Deut. 4:39}

Consider those words in the context of where we are today. God is in control of heaven above and earth beneath today just as much as he was for the Israelites gearing up to claim the Promised Land. Consider also what the Israelites were facing. God had promised them victory over their enemies if they obeyed his commands and obeyed him. Because God is sovereign over everything, not just his people, he tells them that he will strike fear in their enemies and that he is preparing the way for the Israelites to defeat the enemy. Because he is God; there is no other.

A few days after I read that verse and started writing this post, there was a 5.7 earthquake near where I live that woke up my family to 15 of the longest seconds of my life. We are safe, there was no damage, but my heart was racing all day. As a mom with young kids, I fought back my tears and put on a smile and quoted verses all day about not being afraid. That night, I tried to return to this post and finish writing it but I just couldn’t. I stared at the words of Deuteronomy 4:39 and the paragraphs that I had typed a mere 24 hours before the earthquake and I couldn’t stop repeating to myself, “There is no other God. He is Lord of heaven and earth. Yesterday, today, always.” After just going through the strongest and longest earthquake I’ve ever experienced, those truths took a new meaning to me.

As a writer, it’s always interesting to go back and read my thoughts and relive in a way what God has taught me in the past. {As a side note, it is one of the reasons I’m a huge advocate of journaling, even if you aren’t publishing your writing. I’ve been reminded of so many lessons and blessings by keeping journals of my thoughts, prayers, and daily life.} But to read this reminder of Who God is in the midst of walking through the great unknown that we all find ourselves in…it brought me humbly seeking God and KNOWING he is in control in a whole new way.

This week, and I’m sure the weeks to come, are proving to me that I am weak but he gives strength. I need grace and he pours it over me. I can trust him with the weeks and months full of unknowns and he will not leave me.

When was the last time you really KNEW with your head and your heart Who God is? Have you thanked him for his faithfulness recently? Do you, today, know and lay on your heart that he is Lord of heaven above and earth beneath?

Photo by Davide Cantelli on Unsplash

Getting Sentimental

A few weeks ago was my birthday.

I’m already sensitive and sentimental — I cry {very} easily during movies — but as I get older, things are hitting me harder, I appreciate things more, I reminisce. For some reason, in the midst of turning a year older, I thought about two people who I wish I knew better but still impact me with how I witnessed them living: my grandma {my dad’s mom} and my granddaddy {my mom’s dad}.

My Grandma Short wasn’t given to many words. My grandpa was the big talker in the family. Grandma was content to listen, laugh, and cook. If my grandpa forgot someone’s name or part of a story, she would call from the kitchen or poke her head into the living room to offer the information. She was always in the kitchen, usually baking. Pies, puddings, cookies, chocolate dipped-everything. I remember when we would visit she would be by the sink when I woke up in the morning and by the sink when I said goodnight. She didn’t do anything quickly; slow, patient, deliberate would be good ways to describe her process. I never heard her raise her voice unless she was trying to get Grandpa’s attention. But it wasn’t that she didn’t have opinions. When she didn’t approve of something — whether it was something her grandkids did or something on TV — she would shake her head or slowly shake her finger. It was enough of a punishment to know she was disappointed.

I’ve often longed for her calm approach to life. If she was worried about things, I could never tell. She also wasn’t a complainer. As she got older, her feet really bothered her. She didn’t have any — literally any — fat on the bottom of her feet so when she stood and cooked all day, even with her thick-soled shoes on, she would almost limp into a chair after dinner. It became a tradition that I would rub her feet almost nightly when we would visit. She would never complain but when I pressed a certain way, she would wince a little. She often fell asleep during these foot rubs and would apologize after.

Everything she did pointed to these two truths: she loved God and she loved her family.

My granddaddy was just as quiet. When we would visit their Tennessee farm, I remember him spending the mornings in the fields and the afternoons in his office. He taught Sunday School at their church for decades and would spend hours reading and studying every week. He always struck me as contemplative. He didn’t feel the need to fill silence, often sitting and gazing out the window even if someone else was in the room. I remember as a very talkative little girl wondering why anyone would be content to just watch the birds fly by and not comment on it.

As inclined as he was to silence, he did laugh. I remember his eyes crinkling with laughter while we watched The Three Stooges. My Me-Ma {grandma} had a running collection of sad movies where the animal dies at the end and we would regularly watch them. Granddaddy would wander into the room, see what was on the TV and say, “Y’all watching that Old Yeller again? Y’all knows how it ends, don’t ya?” and walk out chuckling. Even as he became more forgetful and slower toward the end of his life, I still remember him whistling, softly laughing when something struck him funny, and content.

Both of these people had seen hardship {Grandma’s brother died when she was a teenager and Granddaddy’s parents died when he was young} but they didn’t let difficulty define them or keep them from smiling. They both faced life with the perspective that God was in control.

I wish I would have had more opportunities to sit and ask questions and learn from them. The memories I do have are precious and going into this next year God has given, I’m making a conscience effort to not let the things around me dictate my mood or attitude. I want to find joy in simple things, serve my family well, and point others to Christ by my daily attitude.

Do you ever think what your legacy will be for those who know you? How would you like to be remembered?

Photo by James Besser on Unsplash.

Your Work is Not in Vain

No matter what we’ve been called to in this life, no matter how much we love it or enjoy the ministry we have to others, there will be times when we wonder why. Why is it like this? Why am I trying? Or maybe we question the whats: What difference do I make? What does it matter if I pour myself into this thing I’ve been given? Another word for this could be discouragement.

I’m ashamed to admit I get discouraged easily. It’s something I’ve struggled with for a long time and something I’m continually working on. I’ve seen my share of times when I made an extra effort, spent time I didn’t have, waded deep with someone into hard things and it didn’t turn out how I thought. My efforts went unnoticed and unappreciated. The person I had spent hours helping went off and did the opposite of my counsel, basically walking away from me. And I thought, “Why did I try? What did all that accomplish?”

It’s easy in our finite, limited view of life to see what’s right in front of us and completely miss what might come. The immediate attracts our attention and gets noticed. But sowing seeds for the long haul? Why? We often don’t see the benefit.

A few weeks ago it was unseasonably warm where we live and I sent my two oldest kids outside for the afternoon. I soon heard them rushing inside, the flow of water in the sink, then the slam of a door as they headed out again. This happened about three times before I wandered outside to see what was going on. With pure excitement, my son informed me they had found seeds from some kind of tree, planted them, and were now diligently pouring water by the cupful onto the ground. That night he asked if he could check on his seeds the next day.

“Do you think my seedling will be above the ground tomorrow?” he asked.

I gently reminded him it takes awhile before we see a plant blooming. And that it was still a little early for anything to start sprouting outside. A few days later, a layer of snow confirmed my warning to not get his hopes up.

We might smile — as the wise, older adults we are — but our short sightedness in life is perfectly parallel to his five year old expectations. We stop praying for something because we don’t see an answer. We get discouraged when our situation is less than ideal. We give up on people that disappoint us. We decide to not put in effort when we don’t see a payoff.

But a verse that keeps coming up in conversations, readings, and posts is Romans 12:12 —

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Here we have three things that Christians are told to practice: joy, patience, and consistency. And all of these take time! We rejoice because we have hope for the future in Christ. Patience is not something that develops overnight and especially when we want to give in, we need to wait for how the Lord will work. Finally, we are called to pray (I Thess. 5:17) and we need to approach everything with the attitude that God will answer — in His time and way. Our responsibility is to be consistent in asking Him to work.

It’s easy to believe that if we don’t see results for our work immediately we don’t need to keep trying. But just as it takes time for seeds in the garden to mature, we must continue on with what we have been called to do. It might get discouraging, the process might be hard, but we are not alone in our efforts. God gives the strength and ability for everything we do and everything we do is for Him.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash.

Ministering in Different Ways

Recently I was talking with someone about a new ministry she was getting involved with. As she spoke about the overwhelming needs, the blessings she received from her work, and the struggles God helped her overcome, I couldn't help but feel a little jealous. And guilty.

You see, the thing she was so passionate about was nowhere on my list of desires or interests to look up. I watched her eyes get teary talking about the needs and how she was spending every chance she had to meet some of those needs. I just nodded.

I was very excited for her. The ministry really is a great one. But it was hard for me to latch on with the same enthusiasm or say I’d ever thought about it before. My passion and ministry interests were focused on other things. And I felt bad I hadn’t contributed but I still didn’t feel a huge pull to do what she was doing. Was I being a bad Christian?

So then I started thinking how I could join up with what she was doing. What would need to change in my daily life? How much time and energy would it take? Would it benefit my family or make things more stressful in this season of life? The more I thought on it, the more I realized I wasn’t pursuing it with the right attitude. Yes, I knew it was a good cause but I was thinking of getting involved just to say, “I’m doing this.” There was no heart of service behind my actions. My motives were completely off.

Maybe it’s because in this age of social media everyone can post everything that means something to her, but I feel inundated with things that are good things but I will never have the time or financial resources to pour into. And sometimes without meaning to, our well intentioned friends can make the opportunities sound like we should have been involved for years and if we don’t support this one thing, the world will call Christians hypocrites.

It’s a lot of pressure for one person to give all her energy to every cause. I know it’s not possible. And yet, when I hear a friend telling me about her experience, something twinges and makes me wonder why I’ve never gotten involved with such a noble cause.

It’s taken me awhile but I’ve discovered that for many things the greatest thing I can do seems like something small but it’s still profitable. If I can’t support an organization with money, I can pray God will provide for them. If I can’t visit a missionary, I can send them an email or letter of encouragement. If I can’t take in a foster child, I can make a meal for a family who does. If I can’t sit at the hospital while a child undergoes a procedure, I can pray for the doctors and for the family.

You see, getting involved in something good doesn’t always mean we are front and center. It doesn’t mean serving in only the glamorous, seen ways. The behind the scenes prayerful moments are just as noticed by God. And even if the cause isn’t my passion project, I can take a few minutes a day to pray for those on the front lines.

I’m afraid sometimes we think unless someone knows we are serving and doing good it doesn’t matter. So prayer, writing letters, sending a gift card. Those are unknowns and not as helpful. But sometimes, it’s all we can do. And it is those little steps that teach us the most and show the extent of our trust in what God can do in spite of us.

I’m reminded of I Corinthians 12. The entire chapter talks about spiritual gifts and how many members make up the body of Christ. We each have a function or ministry. It doesn’t mean we can’t be excited about the ministry of another, but it does mean we don’t need to be involved in everything possible or feel pressured to do something just because someone else loves doing it.

But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. {I Cor. 12:18-20}

Allow humility to lead your service. If your friend asks if you want to join the cause but you’re already stretched with family and ministry, don’t be afraid to say, “I’ll pray for you.” And don’t feel guilty if God has called you and given you opportunities in a different direction. We don’t all serve in the same way. But it is all service.

Photo by Helen P Mitchell on Unsplash

Why Rest?

I love cats for many reasons but one of them is their uncanny ability to sleep whenever, wherever they want. I had a cat when I was younger that I could put into baby doll clothes and push in a stroller…and he would sleep the whole time! Any patch of sun, any comfy blanket thrown on the couch. I’ve never had a cat that had trouble resting and sleeping.

I’ve been thinking about rest a lot lately.

What it is.

Why we need it.

Why we refuse it.

Somehow in our culture, we’ve come to associate rest with laziness. If we aren’t busy doing something, we have no drive, no ambition. We’re missing opportunities, we’re wasting resources or energy.

We don’t want to admit we need rest and chances to refresh because others will boast about all the projects they’re doing, all the directions they’re moving in. Part of us feels guilty about resting. We sit down and think about the dishes in the sink, the week worth of laundry to be washed. We choose limited routines for our family but are afraid our kids are missing out on something fun. We limit our work load but fret the industrious workaholics will get the promotion.

So avoiding rest is more than, “I like to be busy.” It’s a fundamental mindset that is shaped by personality, driven by cultural expectation, and championed in society. When I open Facebook or Instagram, I can almost guarantee an ad will pop up for “develop your own business, find a side hustle, make your free time make money!”

Whatever happened to free time being free? To rest, read, relax? Now every moment is scheduled or we’re supposed to have a plan to make it productive.

Isn’t it all exhausting? And the thing I find most interesting is when I talk with friends, how busy we are and how tired we are always comes up! Granted, most of us have little kids so sleepless nights are just going to happen. But when we fill the moments we could be resting with activities, social media scrolling, TV marathons, things we don’t have to do but somehow we feel we have to do them — it shouldn’t be a surprise that we are running on fumes.

We were made to rest. From the very beginning of the world, God showed us that we would need rest (Gen. 2:2-3). Even though it wasn’t a command until generations later (Ex. 20:8-11), God showed us right after creation that rest is good.

I’m still sorting out for myself what rest means and looks like and how I can accomplish it in this go-go-go culture. But for now, think about this: going into the weekend, what’s one thing you can do — or choose to not do — that will give you a moment of rest? Is there something you can do today that will free up space tomorrow?

Photo by Simon Matzinger on Unsplash

A Word for the Year

In the last few years, it has gotten popular to choose a word to ‘live out’ for the year. Depending on what your focus is, the word can be anything from kindness to confidence.

I don’t always pick a word but I do find it helpful to give some intentional thought to what I want to focus on for the year. And I usually try to study what the Bible says about that word or brainstorm ways I can put it into practice. I’ll get to my word for 2020 in a minute. But first, let’s talk about my process for choosing a word and my purpose in doing it.

When I start to think in December about a possible word for the next year, I think a lot about what my struggles that year have been. Is there something I need to pull away from, learn more about, focus on? Do I know of hardships, challenges, changes coming in the New Year that I need to prepare for? {I realize the next year is largely an unknown time but sometimes we know a surgery is coming, a move might happen, struggles from the previous year that carry over…} I start to pray and think about where God would have me focus my time and energy.

I already mentioned the benefit of focusing my study and learning about a single word. When I chose humility, I was blown away by all the things the Bible has to say — both positively about being humble and negatively on being proud. I started a running list of verses and examples of pride vs humility. I also noticed in my own life that a lot of things I struggled with looped back to being proud; either how well I did something, not asking for help, having a superior attitude. The root of it all was pride. It made the humility of Christ stand out even more in my mind.

Last year, my son was learning the Fruit of the Spirit in our church kids program and we talked A LOT about how we live out each of those nine words. So for 2019, I decided it would be good for me to dwell on them, study them, memorize them too so as I talked with my son, I would be practicing myself what I was telling him to do.

For 2020, I chose the word Ask. One thing that kept coming back to me at the end of last year was my struggle to admit when I needed something. And not just physical help from those around me but asking things of God — for wisdom, peace, everyday needs. My desire to control situations and be seen as a strong, self-sufficient person meant I wasn’t doing a basic thing — praying — and I was getting discouraged by all the things I couldn’t do. {Remember when I mentioned earlier a lot of issues boil down to pride? Clear example here!} The more I thought about it, the more I realized I needed to dwell on the importance of asking. And once I started looking for verses that talk about what we should ask for, why it’s important to ask, etc, I was completely convinced this needed to be my word!!

Do you choose a word or a verse to think about throughout the year?

Photo by Skyla Design on Unsplash

The Question We Should Ask

It’s the new year which means we are all thinking of resolutions. Even if we don’t write down a list of things, the beginning of the year always means reflection on the past and looking with anticipation for the future. That future usually has us considering what we would like to do, what we would like to change, and how we want to make those things happen!

I read the book, In His Image by Jen Wilkin for Bible study and before I got to the first chapter, I was hit by something she wrote. She said that the premise of the book is to show the difference between two questions: What should I do vs Who should I be.

When we think about finding God's Will for any decision, we usually ask for a specific outcome or guidance in what specific thing we should do. But, Wilkin argued, it's not about filling a list of qualifications before we know what to do. It's growing through sanctification to be who we should be that changes us. And as we grow in Christ, we pursue things that please God and decisions become a little easier.

All this made me think about why we always ask what instead of who. Our default it seems is to fix issues by changing our circumstances instead of asking if there is something about ourselves that needs to change. Those kinds of ponderings are usually uncomfortable because of one things: pride.

No matter what we think, we are proud. We might admit we need to grow in some areas but other things are practically sacred to us because “that’s just how I am.” I need to learn patience? No, I’ll just work harder to make things happen. You think I’m easily aggravated? You don’t know what I have to live with. We have a list of excuses for why we are the way we are. And in some ways, we don’t really want to change.

But over and over in the Bible, we are told to put off the former things and put on a whole new life in Christ. When God saved us, he didn’t want us to stay captive to our past selves and sins. He wants more for us. I’ve always found Galatians 5 convicting. In the same breath that Paul condemns sorcery, idolatry, drunkenness and a host of things I wouldn’t dream of, he also mentions envy, anger, jealousy, divisions. And he’s telling us to remove all those things from our lives (Gal. 5:19-21)! Then he lists what we are to be replacing all those sinful attitudes with: the fruit of the Spirit (5:22-23).

Another passage about putting off the old is Colossians 3. In verse one we are clearly told, “If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above…” If we are saved, we should want to be growing and changing, not still in our former selves. Verses 5-9 are filled with sins that used to characterize us but now should have no part in our lives. If that list discourages you, keep reading to see all the things we are to be putting on or growing in (3:12-17).

If this seems like the impossible mission — turning from all the former and completely becoming a new creature in Christ — remember this: you aren’t doing it alone. By God’s grace, we have the Holy Spirit living in us, convicting us of sin, helping us to put on these things, challenging us to change and not dwell in where we were. We can’t will or force ourselves to be better. It is only through the power of God and with a sincere desire to change.

So as we jump into 2020 and make all the plans for what we want to do and change, let’s not forget to also pray about who we are in Christ and how we need to seek God and grow in him this year.

Photo by Danielle Macinnes on Unsplash

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve. By now we’ve heard all the Christmas songs, played in various versions, some our favorites, some we skip over.

I love Christmas music. The memories they evoke, the words that remind us what we are celebrating {I know not all Christmas songs do this} , the beautiful melodies that we hum along with so easily. One of my favorite carols is Silent Night. The words and melody are simple enough for a child to memorize and yet timeless.

Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
'Round yon virgin Mother and Child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight!
Glories stream from heaven afar;
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ the Savior is born!
Christ the Savior is born!

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth!
Jesus, Lord at Thy birth!

I’ve been reading a lot about World Wars 1 and 2 recently. The losses on all sides, the tactics, the horrors people witnessed that they never dreamed were possible. But in the midst of the Great War {WWI}, a well known event happened that is worth remembering.

It was Christmas Eve and the British were hunkered down for another miserable night in the trenches. Suddenly, they heard a familiar tune but with unfamiliar words. Across No Man’s Land, the Germans were sitting in their own miserable trenches singing “Stille Nacht” — “Silent Night.” The British soon joined in, singing in English, filling the evening in an unexpected harmony. The next day, tentative British and German soldiers climbed the ladders from their trenches, left their weapons, and met on the field previously covered in blood, bodies, and destruction. Handshakes, smiles, and food were exchanged. Some of the Germans knew English and short conversations were shared. The day would become known as the Christmas Truce of 1914. It is the only known or recorded instance of its kind. A day in the midst of a devastating war where both sides came together sharing peace and hope.

As we celebrate and remember the baby in the manger, let’s not overlook the importance of the coming cross he bore. Because he came, we can be reconciled to our Creator. Because of God’s Son, we are shown the redeeming grace of God.

Merry Christmas and a joyful New Year!

For further reading about the Christmas Truce, I found this article and short video interesting.

Photo by Gareth Harper on Unsplash.

Prayer

I've often felt inadequate in many ways. I know a little about a lot of things but I'm not an expert or particularly skilled in any one thing. As a homeschooling, stay at home mom to three kids, there are many things I don't have the time or energy or physical ability to accomplish. 

Many is the time when I want to do something and just can't. There are needs and opportunities even in my own church that I am not able to meet or contribute to.

Those realizations are hard. Especially when I think, 'If I wasn't homeschooling, I'd have all morning for that,' 'If my kids were older, they could stay home alone while I did that,' 'If there wasn't cooking, cleaning, laundry, meal planning…' Our lives can quickly become a list of grievances or hindrances instead of looking at what IS possible in the place we are now.

My biggest shift in this thinking has been prayer. The beautiful thing about prayer is we can do it anytime, anywhere. There is no formula to follow, no time limit or special place. In the chaos of our daily surroundings and in the long, sleepless nights, God hears our prayers.

Suddenly, my perceived inadequacies are swept away. You don't have to be an expert to approach the throne of God. We come before him with awe, humility, broken, and needy people. And he hears.

When I can't worship at church because of sick children or attend a Bible study because of schedules, I can pray for those who are there. When visiting others isn't possible and carting kids around keeps us from hospital bedsides, we can pray for healing and peace.

I believe one of the reasons prayer is often difficult is because we do it in private. Has anyone ever asked you if you pray daily? Maybe they tell you a request but do they ask if you actually follow through? In our society of sharing and recognition, do we take time to do things no one sees? It's hard to take a prayer selfie. And yet it should be a crucial, vital part of our Christian lives.

I love I Thess 5: In everything give thanks, pray without ceasing. This idea of being in constant communion with God. When we hear a request or a friend pops in our mind, just stopping for 30 seconds and bringing them before God. When we are on the verge of tears, tired of disciplining children, a 1 minute prayer for wisdom and love. Situations that break us, circumstances that confound us, people that fail us, opportunities that shock us. God knows them all. He hears them all. And he wants to heal, protect, renew, and forgive us.

Photo by Sergey Zolkin on Unsplash