Be Not Anxious

It’s hard to ignore the state of our country and world today.

More than ever, we seem divided, angry, bent on proving we are right even if it divides more. And all of this tension can bring anxiety to the calmest soul.

I am usually a glass-half-full, optimist kind of person. I can get discouraged but I have learned from experience that things out of my control shouldn’t control my attitude. So I try to go with the flow and not allow things to make me uptight. {I should add I’m still working on this!}

However, when the world is rioting, countries are on the edge of war, our country is fighting and changing what we stand for, and up seems to be down…. I have to remind myself of biblical truth because nothing else will help.

One of my take aways from reading Proverbs is that the wisdom of the Lord is far greater than that of man. One verse I have been continually coming back to in this season is:

The heart of man plans his way,

but the Lord establishes his steps. Prov. 16:9

We might feel like the world is out of control and crazy. But that doesn’t mean God is thwarted. Man is out there trying to work his plans and God is not bothered. Nothing we do can keep God’s ultimate plan from happening.

I’m also reminded of Psalm 140. David pleads with the Lord to save him from the evil/wicked people that seem to be winning and surrounding him. He uses words like “deliver me,” “guard me,” “preserve me.” He is asking for help, not revenge. And he knows God is the only one that can help him. Lydia Brownback in her book on Psalms, says, “Revenge isn’t his {David’s} motive. His hope is the triumph of righteousness over evil.”* And so should our goal be.

When we are anxious and crying out to God about the state of our world, our prayers should be focused on God showing his strength and justice in an unjust world. What strikes me about Psalm 140 is that it ends without God judging the evil. However, David has a firm assurance that his prayers will be answered in God’s time.

I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and will execute justice for the needy. Surely the righteous shall give thanks to your name; the upright shall dwell in your presence. Ps. 140:12-13

Do not be discouraged or anxious. As much as everything is in turmoil and the wicked seem to be thriving and winning, God’s plan will ultimately come to pass. Everything that happens today is moving us toward what God has planned and foreseen from the beginning. Nothing catches him by surprise, nothing forces him to change strategies. He is the Ruler of all and we can live in full hope of that.

*Sing a New Song: A Woman’s Guide to Psalms by Lydia Brownback copyright Crossway 2017

Photo by Mario Álvarez on Unsplash

Hero Worship or Bible Steeped?

Have you heard the saying, “Don’t meet your heroes”? Google many sports figures and celebrities and you will probably find a story about a regular person meeting someone famous and coming away not impressed. So many people seem amazing from afar but the more you know about them, the more you realize they have feet of clay. It’s hard to know what people are actually like.

We also see this in politics. We choose a candidate who looks like a savior, someone to make a difference the way we want, and suddenly they fall short. They turn sides and take bribes and disappoint us.

You might think that this wouldn’t apply to Christians. However, with people following authors, pastors, and Christian influencers, we can easily get caught up in the wrong thing and focused on the wrong person.

We don’t like to think that by following everything a certain person says or by believing he/she can do no wrong equals hero worship, but that is essentially what it is. We are propping people up on a pedestal and basing what we believe on what they say. We feel the need to defend them to others because some of our identity is wrapped up in how people perceive them. If someone has a problem with my person of interest, they must have a problem with me too!

I’m not saying it’s wrong to have a favorite author or to learn from a popular Bible teacher. I hope you respect your pastor and church leaders. I have podcasts, books, and people that have definitely helped me in my Christian walk and taught me things that are valuable and biblical. But I always have to remember a few things, no matter how I’m gleaning wisdom from others.

• Everyone is a sinner and therefore capable of getting something wrong.

• Only God is omniscient (all knowing).

• I am capable of responding in a sinful way.

• I only know one side {usually my person’s side} of the story but there are two perspectives in every incident.

By reminding myself of these truths, it helps me keep men (or women) in the correct place and God in his much deserved place.

I don’t log in to Twitter often because it’s too overwhelming for me. But I have the people I follow grouped into lists so I can choose to only read updates from authors or Christian leaders or Princess of Wales fashion posts. Unfortunately, the times I’ve logged in to Christian Tweeters I follow, there’s usually some disagreement or conflict going on. A popular Christian has been involved in a scandal or said something contradictory in a new book. Or someone just decides to go after someone else. It’s a messy place.

But the problem doesn’t stop there. Sometimes the person in question jumps on social media to defend his/her position. Sometimes it’s gracious, oftentimes not. Then their followers will lash out with name calling, Bible misquoting tweets to defend the honor of their favored influencer. And the mess just gets messier.

This exulting in people rather than God is contrary to the examples in the Bible. Think of Joseph in Genesis 40-41. Before he tells the two prisoners and Pharaoh what their dreams mean, he makes sure to mention it is God, not him, who can interpret dreams and should get the credit. Think of David in I Samuel 17 as he boldly goes against Goliath. He declares several times that God will deliver him from this Philistine. In another event concerning dreams, Daniel gives God the credit for showing Nebuchadnezzar’s dream meaning to him in Daniel 2. In fact Daniel points out that no one except God can do this (Dan. 2:27-28).

We also see New Testament examples of doing things for God’s glory, not man’s attention. In this, we see that God should be preeminent in everything. In everything we do and, therefore, in how we treat and emulate others. If we are respecting the words and teachings of a person — no matter how well educated or intentioned —- over the words and teachings of the Bible, we need to recognize the hero worship in this and follow God above all else.

I’ve recently seen someone post, “If this {supposedly bad thing} happens to so-and-so {read Christian teacher who is important to her}, my faith in God’s justice will be broken.” Really?! Your faith in the Creator of the Universe rests on how your favorite Bible speaker is treated, talked about, etc.? What a sad place to be in! To have your very faith in the power of Who God is hinging on a mere mortal who I guarantee is sinful and will make mistakes. We must be careful, even as we learn and grow from the teachings and writings of others that their words, actions, and personalities are NEVER a substitute for the actual Bible.

If I get too caught up in the unfairness, the injustice, the criticism, it might hurt my testimony with others. Christians shouldn’t be backbiters. Even if we don’t like an outcome or what we see as unjust commentary, we need to watch our mouths and monitor our hearts.

Consider this small sample of verses from Proverbs:

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. {Prov. 10:11-12}

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. {Prov. 15:1-4}

And so my challenge to you is this: consider those in your life who have impact and influence. Do you accept everything they say without reading or studying for yourself? Do you only believe their version of events and criticize any who speak against them? Do you assume if so-and-so said it, it must be true? Do you find yourself getting into arguments defending the honor or insight of a certain person?

None of us are able to walk through this life without making mistakes. We will say the wrong thing, be swayed by popular teaching, respond sinfully to situations. But if we spend more time reading and studying God’s Word than we spend hearing from the popular voices of today — however wise they may sound — we will have a better foundation to respond biblically and know God’s teaching on certain matters. In a society of ever-changing opinions and “truths,” I’m thankful for the unchanging God we can trust Who has given us unchanging truth to live by.

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

Cling to the Rock

Our family recently returned from a vacation in Hawaii. My husband and I had been 15 years ago but this was the first time for our kids. We filled our days with beaches, the pool, hikes, and trying as many local fruits as possible.

After the thrill of stepping in the Pacific and running up and down the beach to avoid oncoming waves, my son came to me a little disheartened.

“I see fish and things in the sand but the waves keep coming and I loose them.” I assured him we would go to a place where the waves wouldn’t be a problem. He looked doubtful.

The next day, we went to a beautiful lagoon that was by several large resorts. {Side note: our local Hawaiian friends told us no one can own beaches in Hawaii, all beaches are open for anyone to use even “on resort property.”} We parked the car, walked up a grassy hill, and down into the sand. After a layer of sunscreen, the kids made a beeline for the water. And they instantly noticed something: no waves. The water was completely calm.

This manmade cove or lagoon had rocks piled against the ocean side, breaking the waves and keeping the water inside the cove calm and shallow. There were fish, crabs, even a sea cucumber. It was a great place to learn to snorkel and we built sand castles, swam in circles, and enjoyed the afternoon.

The thing was, on the other side of that rock barrier, waves crashed and hit and were just as rough as ever. The rocks didn’t keep the waves from being waves, they simply protected those in the cove.

As I sat on the beach, happily digging and watching the kids, I couldn’t help but think about all the Psalms that mention God as our Rock. We usually think of this in terms of God’s strength and solidness, a firm foundation we can trust in. But it also points us to how he protects us. The waves of the world are constant and relentless. Sin pounds at us from all sides. It can be just as exhausting as standing up to physical waves all day. But when we seek shelter in the Rock of our Salvation {God}, we can hide behind him and find peace and rest from the waves.

Meditate on these words from Psalm 62:

1 I am at rest in God alone;

my salvation comes from Him.

2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my stronghold; I will never be shaken.

No matter how high those waves struck on that Hawaiian beach, we were safe behind the rocks that made our lagoon. We didn’t even think about the possibility of the tide pulling us deeper into the water or the waves knocking us down. We were happy, secure, and enjoying the beauty around us.

God does the same. Life isn’t perfect or trouble free because we’re clinging to the Rock but we know he’s there. We know the sin and wickedness of the world can’t move him. We know we can always find refuge in him. When you feel as if the waves are pulling you away from the safety of the Rock, read Psalm 91. God is our refuge, our fortress. In him we can trust.

Photo by Wei Zeng on Unsplash

Grieving but Not Alone

Last week was a sobering week for me. It marked two anniversaries that bring me to tears.

It was the eleventh anniversary of miscarrying our first baby and the first anniversary of my friend’s death from cancer.

Both of these losses left me grieving for a long time and in some ways, I still mourn. The losses were different but they affected me unexpectedly, continuously, and painfully, and even after the passing of time, it’s difficult to remember without crying.

Grief is an emotion that sometimes feels wrong. We might think if we mourn too deeply we aren’t trusting God or resting in his peace. We are allowing our fickle and sinful human nature to guide us. Therefore, we often brush by the grieving process and try to ‘get on with life’ without completely confronting how the loss tore us up inside.

I’m slowly coming to realize that grieving is not a sin, mourning someone is nothing to hide or forget. God gives us people and relationships and memories. They bring joy but there’s also a chance for pain. However, the pain doesn’t negate the happy times or how far God brings us in the healing process. I was talking with a friend who has also suffered loss and she wisely said, “People will tell you you’ll get over it but it’s not about getting over grief. It’s about just pressing forward, even with the grief.”

When my friend was diagnosed with cancer, it was difficult for me. She was a mom with children similar in age to my own and the gravity of this broken world became very evident as I saw her struggle and become weaker and deal with pain. We had scheduled a meet up and I was so excited to see her but that same day, quarantine fell on everyone. By the time quarantine ended, she was gone.

My miscarriage was sudden and the furthest possibility from my mind. I had crossed into that blessed second trimester, when the chance of miscarriage falls. But a series of ultrasounds confirmed my fears and suspicions. Going home from the doctor that Monday morning knowing I would be admitted to the hospital to deliver our baby the next day was crippling. I went upstairs and curled on the bed while Tommy called our parents and close friends. When we arrived at the hospital, I checked in at the Labor and Delivery door and sat to the side waiting while happy, excited, full term women filed by, their joy a stark contrast to my sorrow.

Both these experiences are things I’ll never “get over” in the sense that I’ll never forgot those moments. The passage of time doesn’t take away the pain, it doesn’t make me grieve these losses less each year. As long as I’m on this side of heaven, I will miss my friend and her sweet smile and genuine laugh. I will wonder about the baby we named Addison and mourn the memories we never made together.

However, I do not allow grief to define my memories of these people or grow so entrenched that I become bitter at what these losses denied me. In the early days, it was difficult to comprehend how life kept going for so many people while I sat in heavy memories. I felt left behind but had no desire to catch up. For me, it wasn’t about trying to get away from grieving. It was just doing what I could that day, stopping when I needed to, and allowing the tears to flow.

Probably the most comforting thing in those times was remembering I wasn’t alone. The God who walks beside me daily is also the omniscient God who knows the future. He doesn’t leave us, he knows our sorrow, he offers a peace that we can’t fully understand.

The Psalms are a great source of comfort as walk the road of grief. I repeated Psalm 23 to myself over and over. Psalm 71:1-3 reminds us we can trust in God. Psalm 121 tells of God’s help to us, how he never sleeps but keeps us. Psalm 139 speaks to the way God knows us, forms us, and is everywhere. The Bible is filled with hope we can cling to when we face sorrow. Even when people don’t know how to comfort, God does through His Word and his promise to never leave us or forsake us.

If you are experiencing grief, whether from something past or that you are currently in the midst of, I want to encourage you. Don’t be afraid to bring your sorrow before the Lord. Tell him your struggles, ask for his help, and trust him to provide your strength. Keep reading the Bible and write encouraging passages on notecards to leave throughout your home. Grief will still show itself on anniversaries and in random remembrances and it’s okay. Grief isn’t something to be overcome; it’s something we live with but don’t allow to control us. It’s another way we lean on God and trust him to carry us.

Loss and grief are difficult and in this broken world, they will never go away. But lean on the God of all comfort who knows you and loves you. There is grace and hope through him, for today and all your coming tomorrows.

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Dwelling on Identity

Our culture has become one of identity.

We have dozens of ways to categorize ourselves and — intentional or not — it usually leads to categorizing others also. We want to put people into neat boxes so we know what they believe, what they value, why they react a certain way, how to respond to them, etc.

The trouble is people are unique. People have personalities. People are sinful. Therefore, we don’t respond in the same way, we don’t agree with everyone in a given “group.” The trouble continues when we constantly seek to find our identity in the category we place ourselves in.

Maybe it’s easier to give an example. I’m a stay at home, homeschooling mom. Because of this, people have assumed {and I know this because I’ve been told} that I’m patient, that I have no interests outside homeschooling, that I’ve always wanted to be a mom, that I’m a picture of domesticity, that I have no clue what’s going on in the greater world, that I look down on other moms, that I don’t care about fashion….I’m sure you get the point. People make a lot of assumptions about me because they put me in what they believe a homeschool stay at home mom box should look like. And they believe all those things form my identity, my worth, my life.

Now, even if some of the above things were true about me, it would be unfair to categorize me based on those things alone and either praise or condemn me. There is much more to who I am and what I’ve experienced but if you look away from me because of the labels you’ve placed on me, you’ll never know the ‘real me.’

But it’s also very easy for me to identify myself as only a stay at home homeschooling mom and take pride or resent what that looks like. If I compare myself to other moms who make everything from scratch and mop the floor everyday, I will become convinced I’m failing as a mom. If I compare myself to the homeschool mom who plans each hour of everyday to maximize her children’s learning, I will be discouraged that I’m ruining my children’s education. If I compare myself to the stay at home mom with a six-figure side hustle, I can become envious and lose contentment with my life.

The honest truth is every stay at home homeschooling mom is different because THEY are different, in different homes with different kids and opportunities and challenges and….Yes, I homeschool and stay home with my kids, but that’s not the only thing that identifies me.

Another way the culture has highjacked identity is platform building. As someone who has researched the publishing field, attended writer ‘webinars,’ and asked questions of other writers, platform has become a huge buzzword. If you have a platform — a following of people on social media based on a certain topic you write on — you can get a publishing deal. It’s all about platform and if potential readers can identify with you and your writing topic. So you need to make what you write about your identity.

It’s extremely tempting to make my identity what I want it to be. To focus on the externals and the roles I want to be known as. But identity as a Christian is more than whatever we want it to be. God gave us a new life and new identity when we accepted Jesus as Savior.

In a ladies Bible study I’m attending, we’re studying Ephesians and Paul doesn’t waste anytime reminding this church where their identity lies: in Christ. Here is the passage:

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight 9making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

11In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. 13In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory. (1:3-14)

No matter what our outer identity looks like, as Christians we have Christ in common. Categories and stereotypes and things that might divide us according to the world should dissolve because in Christ, we have inherited the same blessings and redemption, we are chosen and sealed, we have hope and life and purpose because we are now in Christ!!

I realize it’s natural to look at what we like, how we spend our days, our stage of life and identify with others who are similar. It’s not wrong to seek out people we have things in common with, but when that becomes our only qualification, we need to take a step back. Look at verse 10 above; Christ came to unite all things in Him. As Christians, we are to be united in the gospel message. Ephesians 2:19-22 reminds us that Christ is the cornerstone and we are “being fitted together…in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.” (vv.21-22)

If we want to spread the gospel to a broken world, we need to stop focusing on how we want to identify ourselves and consider that God has given us a true, lasting identity in Christ that should take precedence over all else.

Photo by Joseph Young on Unsplash

With a Thankful Heart

It’s the week of Thanksgiving, one of my favorite holidays.

I try to keep a list of gratitude all year but for this week, what I’m thankful for comes to the front of my mind. It’s a good practice and habit to recite to others and ourselves what God has done for us. But it’s also important for us to remember and give thanks for Who God is.

With everything going on in the world in 2020, I’ve felt a special pull to rejoice in Who God is and the confidence I can have — even in times of chaos — because of Him. As we go into Thursday and through the end of the year, take time to praise and thank God for Who He is and what He has promised. Here are a few prompts to get you started:

God is…

Compassionate

Faithful

Just

Patient

Everlasting

Worthy

Holy…

God is also the giver of good gifts and because of that, we can praise Him for all the blessings we experience…

Family

Home

Music

Friends

Ability to worship

Ability to pray

Health…

Let’s leave 2020 with a grateful heart and a long list of what we are thankful for.

Photo by Wisconsin Pictures on Unsplash

Does Worldview Matter?

In Christianity, there are many ‘buzz words’ that people talk about, debate, and hold as important.

Something we don’t often think about is our worldview.

We think, “I’m a Bible believing, born again Christian” and that’s the end. While it should be that simple, our culture and world has a way of making everything more complicated. Or maybe you naively believe it’s not important to have a worldview. So what is a worldview and why is it important?

The dictionary definition of a worldview is “a comprehensive conception or image of the universe and of humanity's relation to it.” Let’s break that down.

Comprehensive - a large scope or a thorough understanding of something.

Conception - an idea, beginning, or plan.

Universe - the cosmos, space.

Humanity - the human race, all people in the world.

Relation - a connection, or the association between things.

By putting all these pieces together, we could restate that your worldview is a “thorough understanding of an idea or plan of the cosmos and how the human race connects with it.”

Despite what the world may tell you, everyone has a worldview. Everyone has some framework or idea for how all people relate to the rest of the world and all the universe. It’s basically the backbone of what you believe and how you interact with the world because of what you believe. Even if someone doesn’t believe in a god or follow a certain religious belief, everyone believes in something. Even humanism is a belief. Even atheism is a belief.

So if you don’t think a worldview is important or you don’t think you have one, what do you think after reading these definitions? Does it sound important for how you frame your thoughts on…

relationships with others {respect, love, empathy}

issues of life and death {abortion, euthanasia, murder}

authority {government, The Bible, God}

responsibilities {work ethic, gratitude, family}

Hopefully, you are beginning to see that your worldview — literally the way you view the world — touches and affects how you see everything!

Why can this be a difficult topic for Christians? Because there are a lot of ‘pastors’ and ‘Bible teachers’ who say they are Christians but do not have a biblical worldview on issues like a seven day creation, the authority of God, who Jesus is, homosexuality, abortion, race, marriage, etc. But because they call themselves a Christian or Christ follower, many people are led to believe the Bible is silent, neutral, or oblivious to these issues. And people follow those false teachers in the belief that the world or science has the answers and the Bible is outdated or ignorant. When you aren’t using the Bible as the lens for how you see and live in this fallen world, it’s going to be very easy to simply follow the game plan of the world.

Put that way, worldview sounds a little more important, doesn’t it?

This may sound shocking but hear me out. There are two sides — God and Satan. If you aren’t following what God has laid out for us in the Bible, you are following Satan. The Bible is clear that the Devil is not a passive participant in what goes on {I Peter 5:8}. He knows God wins in the end but he isn't a quiet loser. He wants to deceive and bring down as many people as possible and he uses any means he can to do it.

When we don't keep the truth of the Bible before us and use it as our guide for how we live and what we believe, we will be susceptible to believe what we hear in the world. Satan is a good liar! Remember his deceit with Eve {Gen. 3:1-5}? He tempted her with half truths. He didn't directly attack God or his character. He asked a question and lied. The fruit looked good {Gen. 3:6}! The lies of a secular worldview look good! False Christians sound like they get it and they throw in enough truth to make us listen. If we are only hearing them and our own wisdom, we will easily be swayed.

Second Timothy 3:16-17 reminds us that Scripture was given by God to teach, rebuke, correct, and train us. Not so we can claim wisdom on our own but to complete and equip us. So when Satan throws his lies via the world, we can know we stand on a firm foundation.

In case my arguments don’t convince you of the importance of your worldview, I highly recommend this podcast episode from a man who has been in the secular college circle and strongly advocates for Christians having a biblical worldview. Parts of his interview are specifically about preparing your children and teaching your children a biblical worldview, not just expecting them to ‘get it’ from living in a Christian home, but his points are worth considering for everyone.

Photo from Adolfo Felix on Unsplash

Trust the God of the Bible

The world is a crazy place right now.

I usually don’t follow the news. I’ll read major headlines and I read a newsjournal magazine each week with a rundown of what’s going on in the world. But I’m not keeping up everyday. However, what’s going on now with COVID-19 is impossible to close off from.

In the midst of stopped plans, schedules, and routines, I’ve been attempting to fill my mind with God’s truth instead of the anxiety that swells around. I KNOW God is in control. I KNOW this doesn’t surprise him. I KNOW my plans aren’t the end all be all of life. But sometimes, when we’ve come to rely and depend on our ability to plan and control and do what we want, KNOWING something needs to sink in deeper.

In my Bible reading plan for the year, I’ve been traveling the wilderness with the Israelites so far. In my last week of reading, I came across some incredible verses that reminded me of who God is. Let me share just one with you. In the opening chapters of Deuteronomy, Moses is reminding the Israelites what has happened over the past 40 years. From leaving Egypt to refusing to enter the Promised Land, from wandering in the desert to disobeying God, he lays their not so glamorous history before them. Then in chapter 4, Moses commands obedience, forbids idolatry, and tells them {again} about the amazing God who has guided them all those stumbling, complaining years.

…know therefore today, and lay it to your heart, that the Lord is God in heaven above and on the earth beneath; there is no other. {Deut. 4:39}

Consider those words in the context of where we are today. God is in control of heaven above and earth beneath today just as much as he was for the Israelites gearing up to claim the Promised Land. Consider also what the Israelites were facing. God had promised them victory over their enemies if they obeyed his commands and obeyed him. Because God is sovereign over everything, not just his people, he tells them that he will strike fear in their enemies and that he is preparing the way for the Israelites to defeat the enemy. Because he is God; there is no other.

A few days after I read that verse and started writing this post, there was a 5.7 earthquake near where I live that woke up my family to 15 of the longest seconds of my life. We are safe, there was no damage, but my heart was racing all day. As a mom with young kids, I fought back my tears and put on a smile and quoted verses all day about not being afraid. That night, I tried to return to this post and finish writing it but I just couldn’t. I stared at the words of Deuteronomy 4:39 and the paragraphs that I had typed a mere 24 hours before the earthquake and I couldn’t stop repeating to myself, “There is no other God. He is Lord of heaven and earth. Yesterday, today, always.” After just going through the strongest and longest earthquake I’ve ever experienced, those truths took a new meaning to me.

As a writer, it’s always interesting to go back and read my thoughts and relive in a way what God has taught me in the past. {As a side note, it is one of the reasons I’m a huge advocate of journaling, even if you aren’t publishing your writing. I’ve been reminded of so many lessons and blessings by keeping journals of my thoughts, prayers, and daily life.} But to read this reminder of Who God is in the midst of walking through the great unknown that we all find ourselves in…it brought me humbly seeking God and KNOWING he is in control in a whole new way.

This week, and I’m sure the weeks to come, are proving to me that I am weak but he gives strength. I need grace and he pours it over me. I can trust him with the weeks and months full of unknowns and he will not leave me.

When was the last time you really KNEW with your head and your heart Who God is? Have you thanked him for his faithfulness recently? Do you, today, know and lay on your heart that he is Lord of heaven above and earth beneath?

Photo by Davide Cantelli on Unsplash

Hello and Goodbye. But God is Still Good

Nine years ago today I lay in a hospital bed. The room was silent except for a few interruptions from nurses. I tried to focus on something other than the reason for my stay but that was impossible. After hours of waiting, it finally happened. Our baby was born at 14 weeks.

I thought I had prepared myself in the 24 hours before, when we found out the baby's heart had stopped for an unknown reason. But seeing the tiny form — so small yet perfectly formed — brought a fresh wave of grief at what the day meant. The death of our child, the desire for a baby unfulfilled.

When trials flip our world upside down it’s easy to question everything we thought we knew before. Things that seemed so obvious in our carefree, everyday lives are challenged and we are forced to not just mouth the truths we hear but to dwell on them, to run after them, to actively remind ourselves that those things are still true.

After our baby was born, Tommy and his parents gathered around my hospital bed and we quoted a portion of Psalm 139 — “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” {vv.13-14}

As I said hello and goodbye to my baby on the same day, a part of me struggled to believe God was good in this. But goodness doesn’t always equal what we think we want. I’ve come to learn that part of trusting God day in and day out is believing that he knows me better than I know myself and he loves me more than I love myself. He doesn’t bring harm into my life but because we live in a sin cursed world, bad does exist and we are not immune from its touch.

When we experience the pain that is now part of our world, we can find rest in God. Because of his grace. Because he gives us hope. Not “I hope everything is going to be okay” but a confident, knowing, expectation that he keeps his promises and he loves us. The Bible is filled with his promises and his attributes which we can lean on and cling to. He is our Rock, our Fortress, our Shelter from whatever hardships we encounter. And he is Faithful.

We don’t know the gender of our baby who would have turned nine this October. But we named that baby Addison {child of Adam} Bennett {blessed little one}. And our daughters have the middle names Hope and Grace.

Do you know how I can still say God is good after heartbreaking loss? I Peter 1:3 says — “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.”

That is what I find joy in despite the hurt and sorrow. That is how I know God is still good. That is what I find rest and peace in.

Photo by Antonio Ochoa on Unsplash

Signs of What We Love

If someone were to walk into your home, without knowing you well, what would she notice? What evidence of your life would she see? Probably she would see things you hold dear - photos of family, mementos or souvenirs that are special. Think about places you’ve been where the interests, hobbies, or lifestyle of the owners were quickly apparent based on what you observed in their space.

Now multiply that by observing how they live. Not only the things that surround them in their home but the way they interact in various surroundings. How do they treat others? What do they spend time and attention on? How is their language or topics of conversation? We can learn a lot about people by observing them.

I’m a mom to three young children and no matter how hard I try to have a picture perfect home, there are always reminders that small children dwell with me. Handprints on windows, toys under chairs, half-eaten snacks at the kitchen counter. Then there are the pictures of my kids filling frames on the walls, sitting on shelves and side tables. A basket of library books, suspiciously filled with kid-friendly titles.

No one who enters my home would doubt that kids are a big part of my daily life. Neither would a visitor ask if I loved my kids or if they were important to me. It’s obvious from the popsicle stick crafts still drying on the table to the school worksheets spread over the floor. I’m proud of my kids, love my kids, devote my days to them and their growth.

The same should be true of our relationship with God. We could even call it the evidence we are Christians. When we talk about evidence of God in our lives, what are we talking about? What does evidence mean that we would choose that word to describe our relationship?

According to the dictionary, evidence means, ‘To make plain or clear, an indication or sign’. So our relationship with God should be plain for all to see and observe. It shouldn’t be a secret that we are Christians, children of God. It should be clear that how we treat people and respond in situations is tied to our belief in God. Everything about our lives should breathe and show that we know God.

When people observe us, they are witnessing much more than our love of family or a certain pet. Often, they are judging our faith by how we mirror God. Have you ever had an unsaved friend tell you you don’t act like a Christian? Or maybe that they couldn’t believe you were a Christian when they found out. Sometimes this is because their notion of what a Christian looks like is wrong. {Maybe they see all Christians as judgmental prudes that never have fun or delight in anything. So they are surprised when you are joyful or loving.} But sometimes it might be an indication that we have lived so long seeking after the things of the world that we haven’t allowed room for God.

Romans 12:2 is very clear on how a Christian should respond to the world we are dwelling in. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Hebrews mentions that we are pilgrims passing through, that we should recognize this is not our final home and we don’t serve the things of this world. [Hebrews 11:13-16}

When you look at how you respond to things or people, would you say there is a plain and clear sign in your life that you serve God above all else? Let’s hold the mirror up and truly evaluate how those around see us.

Photo by Andre Francois Mckenzie on Unsplash

The Importance of an Unchanging God

In my office closet there is a white fabric box, tied shut with ribbon. Inside are the notes, cards, and verses people shared with us after my miscarriage. I don't open the box often but I have the contents memorized. In the weeks after that difficult 24 hours, I found myself trying to piece together what I could dwell on. I couldn’t focus on the here and now. It was too painful as life went on different than I had planned it to be.

And a common thread through everything I accumulated in that white box was about God. He is good, He is mighty, He is loving, He is powerful. God was {and is} everything that I am not. He wasn’t surprised by my baby’s loss and it didn’t happen because He wasn’t powerful enough to keep my baby protected. Even in the face of grief and sorrow God was {and is} merciful in so many ways.

Years before I participated in a study about the character of God. But unlike some studies, we didn’t just go to certain passages and notice what it said. We simply did our regular Bible reading and noted what it taught about God. We had papers with different headings {God is just, God is true/truth, God is creator, etc} and as we found verses that described Him we would write down the verse/passage under the appropriate heading.

The pages of the Bible are filled with Who He is and my notebook quickly filled up as well. We so often get caught up in wondering how we are to apply God’s Word to our lives that we overlook what the Bible is teaching about the Creator of it all. After losing Addison, I read over those pages and pages of verses, marveling that God was still all of those things. Despite my world spinning - seemingly out of control - God was unchanged. What was true about Him before that doctor’s appointment was true as I walked into the hospital the next day and the day after.

Because I knew God wouldn’t change, I could rest in Him for strength when I was weary, for comfort when I was wrung out, for grace when I didn’t know what I needed. And He is the only one who can offer that.

Photo by Jan Kahanek on Unsplash