Slowing Down for Beauty

When you think of beauty, what pops in your mind?

Maybe a flawless face, a certain piece of music, a rose. Beauty can be seen in many different ways and different people appreciate different applications of beauty. But all beauty is appreciated more with time and attention.

When we see something beautiful we want to stop and consider it, look closer. It’s sometimes difficult to put into words why something strikes us. Other times we immediately put our finger on why we call it beautiful. But to fully savor the thing or moment or experience, we have to slow down and give our attention.

The reality of this fully took form when Tommy and I went to Paris last year. We were able to experience amazing food, incredible historical sites, and surround ourselves in completely new things at every turn. One of the top things on my list of “want to dos” when we were planning our trip was to visit Musee de l’Orangerie {Orangery Museum} where the famous Waterlily paintings by Monet are.

I don’t know exactly when I started loving them, but Impressionist paintings are my favorite style and Paris museums are filled with Monet, Degas, Renoir, and a host of others. But l’Orangerie is especially magnificent because Monet himself worked on the plan to renovate the building, planning how his studies of the waterlilies from his garden pond would look on display. The panels are over two yards tall and when put together are almost 100 yards wide. Stretching in ovals around two rooms, there really is nothing like it.

The immensity of the paintings hits you, especially when you’ve only seen them in books. While the paintings weren’t the tallest or the most detailed paintings we saw, the scale of them arching around the room, the calming colors set off by stark white walls, and the quiet as visitors took them in was beautiful.

But while Tommy and I stood in the middle of the room and I attempted to etch every color and detail into my memory, other tourists were there for an entirely different reason. They stood at the painting, back toward the masterpiece, and smiled for a friend to capture the moment on camera. Picture secure, they headed to the next room, some of them spending less than a minute before Monet’s 30 years of work.

Can you appreciate the beauty of the thing and the experience in such a blink? You certainly can’t capture the whole painting or the feeling in a snapshot. These were not beauty seekers. They were focused on the adage, “If I have a picture of it, it happened.” Or maybe, “If I post it on social media, it happened.” We saw similar tourists at Versailles, the Louvre, even restaurants. So absorbed in their phones, their pictures, their posts that they didn’t care about what surrounded them.

What a waste of beauty! Maybe you believe they took those photos and look at them and reflect on what they saw now, months after the trip. But I doubt it. If you can’t appreciate beauty when you are in the moment, will you ever have time to look back? And it won’t be the same.

Sunsets are my favorite. I love the splash of color that is ever changing. No two sunsets are the same; the temperature, the air quality, the position of the sun makes each one a unique painting from God. And try as I might, a picture of a spectacular sunset is never the same as watching it happen in real time. Same with rainbows. Pictures never seem to capture the colors, the expanse, the shimmer of a rainbow. To fully enjoy them, we must slow down and look right then! So it is with all beauty.

Our society seems to be based on a breakneck pace. Do more, faster! Be more productive in less time! These types of attitudes don’t go well with savoring experiences, looking for beauty, and enjoying what’s in front of you. The thought something better is just after this moment keeps us from finding contentment where we are and slowing down. We think if we slow down we’ll miss something but the truth is, in our race to the next thing, we’re missing hundreds of beautiful things and moments.

Don’t stand with your back to the masterpiece and rush to the next photo op. Look around, enjoy the moment now, while it’s here, and you might be surprised that you can find beauty in so many things.

Photo by Richard Hedrick on Unsplash

Psalms for Rest

I usually don’t feel anxious. I often don’t realize I’m worried or struggling with something until it suddenly occurs to me that I’m not sleeping, I’m constantly thinking about the same thing, I have a headache, I feel irritable.

Anxiety has a way of sneaking in and getting comfortable in our lives, slowly retraining our minds and attitudes until it seems normal. We don’t remember NOT feeling nervous and worried. We don’t believe we can get out of it.

That’s one of the reasons I love the Psalms. So many of them calm my fears and point me to the truth of God’s character. Instead of dwelling on my worries, I can recite Scripture or sometimes sing it. If you are anxious about the future or overwhelmed in current circumstances, please read and dwell on the following Psalms. I know they will bring comfort and peace.

Psalm 4:8 In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

Psalm 40:1-2 I waited patiently for the Lord; he inclined to me and heard my cry. 2He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.

Psalm 62:5-8 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him. 6He only is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be shaken. 7On God rests my salvation and my glory; my mighty rock, my refuge is God. 8Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before him; God is a refuge for us.

Psalm 119: 147-149 I rise before dawn and cry for help; I hope in your words. 148My eyes are awake before the watches of the night, that I may meditate on your promise. 149Hear my voice according to your steadfast love; O Lord, according to your justice give me life.

Psalm 121 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? 2My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. 3He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber. 4Behold, he who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. 5The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand. 6The sun shall not strike you by day, nor the moon by night. 7The Lord will keep you from all evil; he will keep your life. 8The Lord will keep your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forevermore.

Psalm 136 is a reminder of all God did in Israel’s past and that “his steadfast love endures forever.”

This is just a small sampling. There are so many other Psalms I could have included but had to limit for space. Open your Bible today and seek him. Rest in all he has done and is doing and will do. Great is our Lord!!

Photo by Kien Do on Unsplash

Where Do You Run?

I’ve been doodling, coloring, and helping my kids paint most of today. It was snowing so we needed something fun and creative and I wanted to make name cards for Easter lunch. It seemed like a good day to stay inside and relax!

I turned on my Rest - Vocals playlist on Spotify and we were singing along while we crafted. The kids ate lunch and headed off to play, leaving me to finish my project. The song “Jesus Strong and Kind” from CityAlight came on and as I colored, I thought about the truth I was hearing.

Jesus said that if I thirst
I should come to Him
No one else can satisfy
I should come to Him

Jesus said, if I am weak
I should come to Him
No one else can be my strength
I should come to Him

Jesus said that if I fear
I should come to Him
No one else can be my shield
I should come to Him

Then the chorus:

For the Lord is good and faithful
He will keep us day and night
We can always run to Jesus
Jesus, strong and kind

As I sang along and thought about the words, I thought about all the things this world offers that we are tempted to “run to” or trust. Financial security, perfect health, secure job, comforting family. While these things aren’t bad and are certainly things to be grateful for, when they become what we seek to keep our lives going or when we trust them to get us through hardships without first crying out to the Lord, we are neglecting our first and strongest line of defense.

No one else can satisfy, no one else can give us strength, no one else can guard us. Only Jesus offers what will ultimately matter — true rest in him. True peace in him. One of the things that struck me anew in these verses is that not only is Jesus strong enough to bear our sins on the cross. He is also kind or loving enough to want to. He isn’t just a nice guy and good example without power or ability to help in our troubles. He is strong AND kind AND loving AND faithful AND….

Why would we seek after anything else when we face trials? Why would we think anyone else can help us how we need help?

If you are struggling with running to God with your trials, I encourage you to read the Psalms which are filled with beautiful pictures of crying out to God when hope seems far and finding strength and mercy.

Photo by Karsten Wurth on Unsplash

Words for Jesus, Strong and Kind:

Songwriters: Colin Buchanan / Michael Farren / Rich Thompson / Jonny Robinson

Jesus, Strong and Kind lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Pty. Ltd., Farren Love And War Publishing, Integrity's Alleluia! Music, Cityalight Music

Joy in Lingering

We are a society bent on going.

The pace at which we feel we must live is exhausting, even for the most ambitious person. Messages of hustle, keep going, push in, try harder, be more, have it all…these are all about going even when you’re falling asleep standing up.

They are also all about you. What YOU can do. What YOU need to strive for. Why YOU need to keep going.

There are definitely times when life demands a lot. There are moments when you have to just keep going even through fatigue. But these shouldn’t dominate us or be the norm.

I used to view life as a checklist of things to get through. What did I HAVE to do before I could read or write or craft or just take a break? And I realized that my checklist was never complete. When I neared the end, something would come up that needed my attention and the list would grow.

So then I thought the answer was to rush. Clean quickly. Rush through meal prep, eating, and cleanup. Skim books, multitask everything possible. But the checklist was never complete and I was more exhausted and actually accomplishing less. And I certainly wasn’t enjoying anything.

Then one day, I was at a friend’s house. Susan is a busy interior designer and she easily has 50 tabs open in her brain at all times of things she’s working on. But as she was moving around her kitchen preparing our meal, there was nothing rushed. She took joy in every aspect of the moment. She chopped the onion precisely, sometimes stopping as she thought of the right word to describe something to me. She carefully folded the napkins for the table. She arranged the food on each plate to perfectly match. She wanted to give her best effort at where she was then, what she was doing then, and leave the next task for when this one was completed and enjoyed. No use to rush. The next thing would still be there after dinner.

I realized with young kids these stylized meals would be difficult for me to duplicate. However, I could adopt a less frenzied attitude in what I did. And I could change my thinking from a HAVE to checklist to a GET to checklist. I realized that my frustration with certain tasks was based on my attitude toward them. It’s a joy to have food to feed my family. A privilege to have a nice kitchen to work in. A blessing to sit and savor time together as we review our day as a family.

All those things were missing when I was hustling to get done with that to get on with something else.

I believe we miss out on realizing so many blessings around us because we’re too busy running from thing to thing to notice what just happened. And often things that should be a blessing are phrased as a complaint. We don’t feel we are ungrateful but we certainly aren’t thankful!

So I’ve been attempting {and it’s not always easy} to linger a little longer when I’m in the midst of things. I turn on music and sing along while I cook. I make a cup of hot tea and sit to enjoy it. I fold laundry and let my thoughts wander over the funny moments of the day. I don’t try to make things pass quickly. I don’t fill every moment with noise or tasks. I allow myself to just sit and pray.

And I find a new enjoyment and thankfulness in small, lingering moments.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

The Weary Rejoice

Christmas hymns are some of my favorites, probably because they bring back so many memories. Violin concerts, orchestra concerts, choir performances, church programs. I can remember the arrangements, settings, hard spots on so many Christmas songs from across the years.

One of those favorites is O Holy Night. Think about these words:

Long lay the world in sin and error pining
Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary soul rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

The world had been broken and sinful and watching for a Savior for years, generations. Then, in a most unexpected way, God delivers on his promise in the form of a baby, bringing hope and joy. The gloriousness of that event was much more than just a new life entering the world. It was the beginning of the end, in a way. The load of the weary was going to be lifted and placed on the perfect Son of God. Born to die for our sins and offer the grace and hope we desperately needed but had no ability to make.

I think many of us are weary this year. A lot of difficult, trying, hard things have happened and we might try to muster the excitement and joy of the season but we’re struggling. We know the source of our grief isn’t going to go away or magically resolve itself. We still have next year to face, with unknown challenges to come.

But here’s the thing about hope — it’s not just for Christmas and it promises much more than solving earthly frustrations. We have salvation, we have the Holy Spirit, we have eternal peace. Our souls, weary with the cares of this world and all the brokenness of sin, can still rejoice with true joy. All because of Jesus, coming humbly to die humbly.

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

A Selfless Holiday

It's a paradox.

We spend so much time leading up to Christmas preparing everything for the perfect holiday. We want our kids to have a memorable month, we want our family to appreciate the food we prepare, we want our friends to love their gifts. All our energy seems to be pointed at making others happy. Yet this can be the most selfish time of year.

How is wanting the perfect holiday for others selfish? Because often we are wanting our version of the perfect holiday rather than want others want.

Each thing we attempt to do is often shrouded in something we want: perfect photos so we buy matching clothes our kids will never wear again, carrying on a tradition by making the proverbial fruitcake knowing no one will eat it, attempting to do every suggestion for a memorable 25 days of December from all the mommy blogs. We use the excuse it's all for others but we are really putting our checklist at the forefront.

Do we ever go into holidays asking our children or spouse what they want to do? What would really make the day special to them? It might not be exciting or picture worthy. It might involve doing something you really don't love doing. But if we really want everyone to enjoy the Christmas season, shouldn’t we be willing to ask?

I definitely have food and traditions that I love but I try to ask Tommy what meals he likes, sweets he loves, special Christmas things that mean something to him from childhood. And I try to display the sled and reindeer he made as a child.

December is such a busy rush of excitement and activity. It can feel like we’re giving every ounce of ourselves for others. But what if what they wanted was more of us present and less of us doing? We could make memories with our loved ones that were truly meaningful and we could avoid some of the crazy that we put on ourselves “for the sake of others.” Less of us. More of friends and family.

Photo by Freestocks on Unsplash

An Unhurried Life

Our fall schedule has started and that means things are quite a bit busier for us!

Summer wasn’t exactly the restful, quiet time I always hope it will be. But fall brings on a different kind of routine and busy. School, piano lessons, Bible studies, AWANA. And then we have special things like playdates, parties, and field trips.

I guess what I’m saying is there is no ‘restful season’ that will magically happen. Each change of the calendar and tick of the clock brings a new, different type of hurry and bustle and rush.

I’ve always thought it amazing that some people seem immune to the hustle mentality. They get done what needs to be done without running, frantic lives.

One of the most slow paced people I’ve known was my Grandma Short. She got a lot done in a day but she didn’t do anything quickly. Everything that was worth doing was worth doing well. Making pie crust, ironing, watering flowers. Grandma didn’t run or rush.

I remember shopping with Grandma and Grandpa when they visited us. Grandma looked at every shirt on the rack, touched the fabric, slowly moved the hangers to get to the desired size. She didn’t feel rushed, even when the rest of us moved ahead. But she also never seemed concerned about falling behind. She knew what she needed to get done in a day and that was what she got done.

Grandma didn’t neglect others in her to-do list. She wasn’t so focused on the tasks that she didn’t cultivate relationships. My Grandpa owned two businesses in a small town and he and my Grandma were born and raised in that area. They knew most of the people in town and people knew they could drop by for a chat. There were many times when people would knock and yell “Hello!” and Grandma would answer and welcome them in for a visit. It didn’t matter that she was in the middle of laundry or dishes or baking.

When we would visit, we would often go on the back patio after dinner. It was sometimes the first time all day my Grandma had sat down except for eating meals. But she didn’t complain or draw attention to how much she’d gotten done or hadn’t accomplished. She would sit and visit and laugh and comment on the nice evening and wave at every person who walked by.

I didn’t really notice her contentment with life and her patience with tasks as a child but as I’ve gotten older and felt the weight of responsibility and everything that needs to be done, I look back at my memories of her and long for her unhurried approach to life.

It’s not just about a slower pace. It’s also about being content with what we can do in a day and maybe scaling back on expectations. With modern conveniences and technology, I believe some of our frustration is we think we can do more in a day than we actually can. And when we fail to do it all, instead of focusing on a few tasks the next day, we believe we just have to wake up earlier, hustle more, stay up later.

This is certainly something I need to try harder at and do not have the perfect answers for. But it is something I recognize in my life as needing to change. I need to set my priorities more realistically so I’m not rushing from task to thing to place. I need to recognize my limits and accept them.

Living an unhurried life doesn’t mean not getting things done or living in slow motion. It’s a mindset of living within our limits and being content. With not trying to do it all everyday. And trusting God with our efforts.

Photo by Theme Photos on Unsplash

The Makings of a Rested Mom

You probably read the title of this post and laughed, maybe raised your eyebrows at the thought or spit your cold coffee across the room in disbelief.

The words ‘rest’ and ‘mom’ don’t really seem to go together especially if you are waist-deep in the toddler/baby years. But I’m here — as a mom who gets awakened by kids every night — to tell you rest and sleep are different. A rested mom might still be sleep deprived and a mom getting 8+ hours of sleep a night could be lacking rest.

You see, somehow we’ve confused rest and sleep and made ourselves believe they have to be the same. Yes, we sometimes substitute the word ‘rest’ for ‘sleep’ {I do this with my youngest hoping to trick her into laying down. “We’re just going to take a little rest.” She hasn’t fallen for it yet.} But rest also means ‘refreshing ease or inactivity after exertion.”

In short, rest is the opposite of working, not necessarily the opposite of being awake.

There’s a chance you agree with me that rest doesn’t mean sleeping. But you might still be wondering how a mom can attain this inactivity. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, possibly working and/or homeschooling, errands, etc. The life of a mom is usually about busyness. There’s always something to be done.

And here’s where I think we have room to rest: realizing we can’t do everything and making room for something we love.

I truly believe our struggle with comparison robs us of more rest than our children. {Read that line again.}

Let me give you an example. It’s super easy to see people baking, decorating, gardening, sewing, etc. and feel like you must do all those things to be a great mom. So you set out to make bread every morning, supply every room with cozy throw pillows and blankets, have a garden perfectly manicured and producing flowers or vegetables in every season, sewing quilts and clothes and….

Suddenly, all the time you aren’t busy with kids is filled with things you may not love doing or even need to do but because you compare yourself to ‘that perfect mom on social media’ you feel like you aren’t doing enough.

But the truth is, no one can do everything. And even though the home/lifestyle mom blogs seem to be perfect at everything, they probably don’t have homemade bread at every meal. They might not be homeschooling. They might hire a cleaning service. And maybe they don’t enjoy reading, painting, knitting, watching TV, or other things that you consider restful. I honestly know people who enjoy baking and find it relaxing. I know people who can spend hours working in their garden. One mom’s torment is another mom’s rest.

So the point is to discover what you find restful and make time for it. At first, I thought this was extremely selfish of me. But taking an hour or two each week to focus on something I love actually energizes me to get back to my family and serve them. And I feel rested — even if I’m still tired — and not frazzled from constant chaos and noise.

How do you make time in a packed schedule? You make time for what’s important to you. So during naptime, you sit and paint instead of folding laundry. When your kids are in the tub, you sit on the floor and read. You might need to get creative but there is time to break away and breathe. And I’m not saying every nap time or free moment is spent on yourself to the detriment of your housework. But we shouldn’t press on with what we “have to do” until we burn out and snap.

Rest isn’t checking out. It’s not having to take a nap. It’s not neglecting what you have to do to keep the family fed and clean. It’s seeing where you have a few moments and stepping back. It’s taking time to do something you love.

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

Finding Beauty in the Little Things

The last few months have been filled with so many stresses and anxieties, at times I found it difficult to focus on something positive.

Everything seemed to be a loaded conversation. Everything was polarizing. {Still is, I guess, but I’ve learned to tune it out.} So much bad news and sorrow and unkindness and complete foolishness. People using their platforms to promote division.

Time was so full of stuff. Before the world literally shut down, I felt like I had so much going on. So much to do and rush around for. Things seemed busy but when I considered why, there was never a good answer. We were just busy. I felt behind and not as together as other people, like I was always having to catch up.

Then I began doing something I should have done long ago. I started appreciating small glimpses of joy and beauty that I had overlooked before. Maybe it was something that didn’t seem beautiful at first glance or it was an emotional beauty rather than a physical one.

The best way I found to do this was to watch my two year old. She is an exuberant and excited child anyway but her pure joy over finding “poly polies” {potato bugs/roly polies}, watching ants, talking and waving to birds always brought a smile. Maybe because as adults we see so many things as a nuisance or bother or not worth our time, but as I stopped and considered what she was marveling at, I began appreciating them more too. And wondering what makes such small things — both in size and supposed purpose — so incredible.

Did you know an ant can carry 50 times its own body weight?

Did you know Monarch butterflies use the sun to navigate?

God designed and created so many amazing things in our world but most of them get passed by because we’re too busy to stop and wonder. They seem small, trivial compared to our worries and schedules. And yet they are there. Surrounding us in so many places.

I’ve been trying to restore a wonder in the way I see things. To not let the ordinary pass by without a glance. To look at the world and experience it as if seeing it for the first time. I recently told Tommy I wish I could go back and read some of my favorite books again, for the first time. To relive the story without knowing what would happen or how the author would weave words and emotions together so expertly. It’s one of the hardest things about finishing a great book.

But at the same time, I believe it’s possible to still enjoy — even anticipate — books and scenes we are familiar with. The brightness of seeing it for the first time doesn’t have to dim. We just have to keep ourselves from growing complacent. To not be so jaded by the world that we roll our eyes and rush by everything, just eager to mark off our to-do list and keep up with all the social media induced expectations. And cultivating a wonder in the ordinary things makes the worries and troubles and fights in the world take second place, if any place at all. When we spend our time looking for and reveling in the beauty of little things, we don’t have time for petty arguments and we want to spread the joy we’ve found to others.

Part of resting in life is trusting that God has things under control. We follow his will for us {Prov. 3:5-6}, we obey his commandments and seek him, and we leave anxiety behind {I Peter 5:7}. When we aren’t worried and caught up in all the worldly things, it’s easier to look around and see the amazing creations God has put before us. And we start the recognize the little things he gives…

Sunsets in pink, orange, and purple

Bees landing effortlessly on flower petals

Hummingbirds beating the air

Snow dusted on mountaintops

Smiles covered in chocolate ice cream

Laughter and giggles while swinging higher

The joy of learning a new skill well

Sweet times with good friends

The world is full of simple, beautiful, ordinary things. But often we need to stop and look to fully enjoy them and praise the Creator of it all.

Photo by Marian Florinel Condruz on Unsplash

I am {Not} Enough

There has been a trend in recent years to put uplifting sayings on journals, shirts, mugs, basically anything. I’m sure you’ve seen them…

Believe you can and you will

She believed she could so she did

Dream high

Keep calm and {insert anything here}

Ask me after my coffee….

While these aren’t bad, there is one that always bothers me. I usually see it in reference to women who are longing for a husband or a better job, seeking affirmation from peers, deep in discouragement, etc. But it simply is “I am Enough” or “You are Enough.”

Think about that for a minute. You are wearing a shirt {or drinking from a mug} that states you are all you need.

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to ride the “You are enough” train but it’s discouraging! Give me one hour of trying to parent in my own strength, wisdom, patience, and you will see how this statement in practice doesn’t work. We are not enough by ourselves. We will fail again and again and hurt those around us when we live with this mantra.

In my mind there is really no way to defend this sentiment biblically. In fact, we read Paul in Philippians 3 reminding people of his credentials of “being enough” according to the Jews yet it meaning nothing for salvation. Here’s how Paul sums it up in Philippians 3:7-8a “But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.”

Paul counted nothing that he had done as gain for Christ. The well-known passage in II Corinthians 12 tells us that Paul had something he asked God to take from him — perhaps a speech problem or a physical ailment — but God denied him. “‘But he {God} said to me {Paul}, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” {II Cor. 12:9}

Paul saw he was far from enough on his own. Salvation, wisdom, strength, discernment. We need to rely on God. We need to humbly say, “I am Not Enough!”

Part of the struggle we have with finding true rest is the belief that we have to be doing. If we are enough, then everything goes — or falls — because of us. If we stop, if we rest, if we look to someone else, we will cease being enough. And for some, that is frightening. But is should be a relief! To not carry the weight of life ourselves but to turn it over to God because we know we aren’t enough to save ourselves!

Our culture is self-seeking, self-promoting, independent. While working and knowing how to care for ourselves is not bad, we need to be careful to not become so independent we turn from God. We must acknowledge that we are not enough, for this life or the next.

Photo by Lili Popper on Unsplash

Why Rest?

I love cats for many reasons but one of them is their uncanny ability to sleep whenever, wherever they want. I had a cat when I was younger that I could put into baby doll clothes and push in a stroller…and he would sleep the whole time! Any patch of sun, any comfy blanket thrown on the couch. I’ve never had a cat that had trouble resting and sleeping.

I’ve been thinking about rest a lot lately.

What it is.

Why we need it.

Why we refuse it.

Somehow in our culture, we’ve come to associate rest with laziness. If we aren’t busy doing something, we have no drive, no ambition. We’re missing opportunities, we’re wasting resources or energy.

We don’t want to admit we need rest and chances to refresh because others will boast about all the projects they’re doing, all the directions they’re moving in. Part of us feels guilty about resting. We sit down and think about the dishes in the sink, the week worth of laundry to be washed. We choose limited routines for our family but are afraid our kids are missing out on something fun. We limit our work load but fret the industrious workaholics will get the promotion.

So avoiding rest is more than, “I like to be busy.” It’s a fundamental mindset that is shaped by personality, driven by cultural expectation, and championed in society. When I open Facebook or Instagram, I can almost guarantee an ad will pop up for “develop your own business, find a side hustle, make your free time make money!”

Whatever happened to free time being free? To rest, read, relax? Now every moment is scheduled or we’re supposed to have a plan to make it productive.

Isn’t it all exhausting? And the thing I find most interesting is when I talk with friends, how busy we are and how tired we are always comes up! Granted, most of us have little kids so sleepless nights are just going to happen. But when we fill the moments we could be resting with activities, social media scrolling, TV marathons, things we don’t have to do but somehow we feel we have to do them — it shouldn’t be a surprise that we are running on fumes.

We were made to rest. From the very beginning of the world, God showed us that we would need rest (Gen. 2:2-3). Even though it wasn’t a command until generations later (Ex. 20:8-11), God showed us right after creation that rest is good.

I’m still sorting out for myself what rest means and looks like and how I can accomplish it in this go-go-go culture. But for now, think about this: going into the weekend, what’s one thing you can do — or choose to not do — that will give you a moment of rest? Is there something you can do today that will free up space tomorrow?

Photo by Simon Matzinger on Unsplash

The Need for Quiet

I’ve always enjoyed music. I never really thought of music as filling silence or needing to have it playing at all times. I just enjoy singing along, being swept away in a beautiful melody. I didn’t need silence and I usually had something playing in the background.

Three kids later and my appreciation for quiet has grown. It’s a funny paradox: we eagerly teach our children to talk and exclaim with delight when they can finally communicate. But we quickly become weary of constant questions, commentary, and the inevitable noise that accompanies them. My children have all been early talkers — even before we could understand their words they had something to say all the time. My daughter who is just over a year will frequently walk into a room, speak emphatically while waving her arms, and then leave.

Quiet has become a rare treasure in my life. And if it isn’t my kids, it’s the phone, the computer, the fridge, random dogs and children outside. The world is a noisy place and it’s almost impossible to completely retreat from it. The other day, I was walking in my neighborhood alone. I heard the wind sweeping through leaves, bees buzzing over a flowering tree, birds tweeting. I closed my eyes for just a moment and let the calm pass over me. It didn’t last long; a car came screeching down the road with radio blaring. But for a minute, I not only heard the quiet, I breathed it in.

Sometimes I don’t realize I’m craving silence until the noise level escalates. When the kids start screaming, a dozen toddler toys are playing a dozen different sounds, and I can’t put words together for all the exterior distractions, I suddenly feel the need for quiet. For calm.

But silence doesn’t always mean rest. We live close to many beautiful, scenic walks. Places far from cars and barking dogs. But even when I’m surrounded by physical quiet and calm, often my heart is restless. I’m worrying about something or anxious for the future. I’m concerned for a sick friend or burdened for someone I’m witnessing to. I worry for my kids — their salvation, future, decisions — and for my own desires — will I ever finish that project, publish a book, finish weeding. Even in the quiet, it can feel suffocating.

I’m slowly discovering that quiet for my life right now doesn’t always equal being alone in total silence. Sometimes it’s my heart and mind that needs to be quieted more than my kids. Even if the noise continues around me, I can find quiet for my worries, anxieties, and fears through God’s Word. The Psalms are a wonderful place to dwell when things are noisy around us.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2

The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life. Psalm 54:4

When the noise and cares of the world crowd around you and leave you longing for quiet, run to the Bible and rest in His promises. They are unchanging and will quiet your restless heart.

Photo by Eduard Militaru on Unsplash.

Finding Our Creativity

I wrote last week about why creativity is important. {If you didn’t see that post, click here to read.} So today I want to piggyback off of that thought and address you specifically. Are you creative? Well, if you read last week’s post you know the answer is YES! Everyone has a creative side - just in different ways.

I hear adults say all the time, “I’m not creative. I could never do the things you do.” But I want to stop you right there. As I mentioned above, there are differences of creativity. Some people look at a room and can visualize the perfect colors, styles, furniture for the space. Others see a collection of objects and know how to fit them together to make something. Maybe it’s looking in the pantry and throwing together a gourmet meal or a beautifully decorated cake. Or planting just the right flowers to fill a space with a variety of height and color. Or maybe it’s following the directions and pattern from someone else but putting your own flair on the finished product.

The product of creativity is all around us. But most of us still insist, “I’m not creative.” I believe much of this is thanks to the internet. It’s hard to consider your own efforts when you look on YouTube or Pinterest and see the amazing things people are able to create. We immediately think we could never do that {I’m guilty of this also} and bemoan the fact we didn’t get a creative gene.

But wait! We did! We are all capable of some form of creativity - even if we feel like we’re all thumbs. Maybe we have to practice at things that come naturally to others. Maybe our product will never look good enough to sell on Etsy. But we can do it! I offer myself as an example.

I was always more into the writing creative process than the art/craft/drawing creative process. And somehow my creativity with words seemed less stunning than a watercolor painting done by a friend. But as my daughter got older, it became clear that she was going to be a crafter. Coloring, drawing, cutting, and gluing were fun for her. While she did dress up and play with dolls, those things always led to a craft {“I need to make a paper rug for the dollhouse”, “I want to make a tiara”, “Let’s make a paperchain necklace”, etc.}. I found myself attempting a whole list of things I never thought I’d be creative enough to do because my daughter wanted to try. And I wanted to encourage her interests.

Now I’m not a master crafter and it doesn’t bring me quite the joy it brings my oldest. But I have discovered ways to let my creative side out that I never tried before being a #momofacraftqueen .

So what is stopping you? Even if you feel your creative brain is running on empty, I challenge you to give it a try! And let me say that being creative doesn’t mean being the first to come up with something. I am terrible at coming up with paper plate craft ideas, but my kids love making things from paper plates. A quick Pinterest search gives us loads of options of animals to make by cutting paper plates just so and then we get creative by decorating them how we choose! Let me encourage you with a few things I’ve done.

1. Start with coloring. The adult coloring phase is still going strong! You can find books with detailed pictures or just geometric shapes. Grab a book and some Sharpies, gel pens, or colored pencils and go to town!

2. Watch tutorials on YouTube. You can really get sucked in here! Think of something you want to learn {knitting, painting, doodling, sewing…} and search for “XYZ for beginners” or “Learning XYZ”. I’ve watched several tutorials on handlettering, watercolors, and drawing flowers. I’m no expert yet, but these gave me a start to begin practicing.

3. Ask. If you know someone who does something well, ask if they can teach you. I recently asked a friend if she can teach me and my daughter to knit. This becomes a fun time together and a chance to learn something new.

4. Start journaling. Even if you don’t know what to write, even if you think you have nothing to say, grab a beautiful, inexpensive journal from Marshall’s or Ross and just write! Write about what happened today, what you learned from your Bible reading, funny things the kids said or the dog did. Describe the weather or what you plan to do tomorrow. Once you start, it’ll become easier.

I could go on but you get the idea. The only thing holding your creativity back is you not trying. Even if you can’t visualize a project on your own and you need directions start to finish, you are making it and that makes it unique. Don’t let the fear of failing keep you from trying. Made in God’s image we have the ability to create for his glory. And when we do something we never thought we could, we can be quick to bring all the credit to him.

Photo by Elena Tudor on Unsplash

Encouragement for the Weary

I don't know about you but I'm tired. We're less than a month away from the new year and I feel like I've been running a marathon since Dec. 1 (I'm guessing at what it feels like to run a marathon...not something I've done personally). But I don't think I'm alone in my exhaustion. I've seen record numbers of articles and posts on my Facebook feed about mothers at their wits end, workers tired of working, families passing each other in the night because of crazy schedules, and so on. We are a busy people.
We often hear people talking about the 'good old days' and how simple and easy life was back then. But I think what we really mean is we miss not having to hear and compare ourselves to everyone else's busyness. When we were just trying to get through our own lives we could handle it. But when we started seeing what everyone else was doing and making time for, our expectations for ourselves and our families hit the roof and boom! We suddenly have packed appointment calendars and dark circles under our eyes.
In case you're doubting the busyness of the 'good old days' let me remind you of a few things:
1) they made everything they used. I don't know about you but I've never made my own butter and soap and clothes while cooking without a microwave, doing laundry without a dryer, washing dishes without a dishwasher, and keeping the kids occupied without a tablet. We are spoiled on modern conveniences.
2) to talk to someone you had to visit them. I've sent probably a dozen texts today checking up with people, telling them I'm thinking about/praying for them, asking if they need anything. It's great to communicate so easily and freely. Before the surge of technology, you had to walk or drive or hitch up the horse to find out what was going on. And people did while still keeping up with everything from list one.
My point is life 'back then' was anything but easy. In many ways our ancestors worked harder than we do. So why, in a world filled with technology and machines that are supposed to make our lives more simple, do we find ourselves more exhausted than ever? I think the answer is we have forgotten how to rest and enjoy what we have. We are sucked into the mentality that because so many things are available we need to try them all.
Society tells us to have well rounded, healthy children, they need to play sports, take music lessons, get involved in community service, grab every opportunity they have to experience anything that might help them later in life. Oh and go to school and occasionally play with friends.
As women, we must excel in our careers, keep perfect homes, have some kind of hobby, raise well rounded, healthy children (and take them to everything mentioned above), be an excellent girlfriend/wife in every way, and do it all with a smile.
No wonder we're exhausted!! And, no, there's nothing wrong with any of the above. I'm love hearing my daughter play for music recitals and playing sports with my kids. I enjoy keeping my house tidy and seeing to the needs of my family. But what's my motivation in it all and am I trying to do more than God has called me to do in this season of life?
Do you know there is encouragement to be found though? We aren't alone. God is with us and He will give us the strength to get through what we need to. Of course, having unrealistic expectations for ourselves is never healthy and comparing what we are capable of with what others are able to do is a deadly game that usually ends in jealousy. However, in doing those things that we have been called to do, we can run to the Rock and find shelter from the chaos of this world. We can rest on Him and know He will hear our cries for help.
My 10 month old still does not sleep through the night. At least once - sometimes more - I’m waking up during the night to feed her and help her get back to sleep. I'm physically tired. I cry out to God to bring peace and rest to my weary heart and body and He doesn’t always answer by multiplying my sleeping hours but He does provide comfort that I am not alone. And He gives me strength to tackle what I need to get done.
I'm afraid sometimes when we are the most tired, our thoughts turn inward to self-pity and despair when those are the times we need to admit our inability to do anything but by the grace of God. Those are the times we need to lean on Him the most and find refreshment in His Word.
And so, weary friend, my challenge and encouragement to you is simple: will you, in the busyness of everyday life, lean on Him and find grace for today?

Photo by STIL on Unsplash

To the Weary Mom Who Feels Guilty

My mom recently shared something shocking with me. When my sister and I were young, my dad would give her a day to herself for her birthday. She told me how much she enjoyed those kid free times of reading a book, lunching in a park alone, having quiet. Looking back I think I remember those days. Heading to church with my dad, Barbie's and paper dolls to keep me occupied for the hours while he was in his office. I never knew why we spent a day without Mom; I guess I assumed she had some appointment to get to.

If I had found out when I was younger her real reasons for spending a day without us I might have gotten offended, but by the time she told me, I was a mom myself - in the trenches of doing everything with a small army of followers. Well, just three followers but it can feel like a lot more!

Being a mother is such a study of opposites. You love being with your children but sometimes crave solitude. You would do anything for those crazy kids but often giving your time feels like a sacrifice too large. You teach them to talk then beg them to be quiet for just a minute.

When my mom admitted her need to sometimes be alone, I nodded in agreement and complete understanding. And I felt a little guilty about it. You see, as moms we're used to our children coming to us for everything. Big needs, small announcements, we are the filters everything goes through. To admit I get weary in my role of cook, laundress, peacemaker, cleaner, playdate coordinator..., I somehow feel like I'm short changing my kids in the mother department.

But then I realized something amazing. When I can take a span of time - even an afternoon - to myself, I come back to my kids desiring to meet their needs in a new way. The time of quiet, reflection, eating at a place that doesn't serve nuggets and fries gives me a fresh appreciation for the antics and questions awaiting me at home. 

As much as we don't like to admit it, moms need rest like anyone else. Taking a day or an afternoon to get a pedicure, go for a hike, or grab a coffee doesn't mean you don't love your children. It's giving yourself the space to recharge so you can give of yourself even more.

Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash