The Power of a Good Influence

Can we talk about role models for a minute?

I see this as a huge blind spot in Christian circles. Some people don’t think they matter — just follow God, they would say. Others advise to follow someone in your ‘field’ to really do well in your career. Or follow the example of someone you admire. Or listen to the popular, groundbreaking person that everyone’s talking about.

I’m not saying that role models are evil, but I think we need to put a little more stock in who we hold up for ourselves and definitely our kids. And we need to be careful to not fall into the trap of following whoever the world says.

One of the definitions in the dictionary for ‘role model’ is ‘A person regarded by others as a good example to follow.’ So then we need to ask ourselves what makes for a good example? Is it how wealthy they are? How successful? Is it behavioral or being empathetic?

As Christians, we should have a set of standards that don’t equal what the world calls ‘good.’ We should desire and want to instill in our children a different reason for listening to and following someone. It’s not because of worldly ambitions or gain. It’s not for popularity or joining the crowd. When we hold someone up as a role model, basically saying follow this example for your life, we need to proceed with caution.

Disclaimer: I know everyone is sinful and flawed. Even the greatest people in Christian history have things they said, actions they did that we would not commend. However, part of holding these people up is to show that they needed — and received — God’s grace, just like we do. I’m also not saying we can’t read, admire, etc. secular people who did amazing things. But I am saying we need to be careful WHAT we are teaching our children to follow in these ‘heroes.’

Here’s a personal example. When I was 8 or 9, I read about Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale. At the time, I wanted to be a nurse and I was fascinated by what they overcame, their tenacity, their compassion for others, and their courage and diligence to do what they did. These traits are things that are commendable. However, Barton was a Universalist and believed everyone had some good in them. Many of the founding fathers {Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, etc.} had qualities that helped make this country possible yet their religious beliefs and morality leave much to be desired.

If we’re holding up examples of people merely because ‘they were the first’ ‘they have done what no one else has’ ‘they are popular’ ‘they have overcome huge barriers’…those might not be the best reasons.

What should exemplify a Christian’s life? Many things! The below notes are by no means exhaustive!

The fruit of the Spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” {Gal. 5:22-23}

Prayer. “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” {Rom. 12:12} “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” {Col. 4:2}

Humility. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” {Phil. 2:3}

Compassion. “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” {Col. 3:12}

Forgiveness. “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” {Col. 3:13}

Fear of God. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” {Prov. 1:7}

In Philippians 3, Paul reminds his readers to imitate him in following Christ and to remember the examples of other Christ-followers {v17}. As Christians, our goal on earth should be to witness to others and to glorify God through every aspect of our lives. We should be careful about idolizing godless people who stand completely against His Word and live in a way that shows it.

We shouldn’t hold anyone in higher position than God but if we’re following the example, lifestyle, and opinions of people who don’t exemplify ANY biblical characteristics, we need to rethink our view of a role model. And we need to be careful how we encourage our kids to think about role models and who we hold up for them to follow.

Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash

Getting Sentimental

A few weeks ago was my birthday.

I’m already sensitive and sentimental — I cry {very} easily during movies — but as I get older, things are hitting me harder, I appreciate things more, I reminisce. For some reason, in the midst of turning a year older, I thought about two people who I wish I knew better but still impact me with how I witnessed them living: my grandma {my dad’s mom} and my granddaddy {my mom’s dad}.

My Grandma Short wasn’t given to many words. My grandpa was the big talker in the family. Grandma was content to listen, laugh, and cook. If my grandpa forgot someone’s name or part of a story, she would call from the kitchen or poke her head into the living room to offer the information. She was always in the kitchen, usually baking. Pies, puddings, cookies, chocolate dipped-everything. I remember when we would visit she would be by the sink when I woke up in the morning and by the sink when I said goodnight. She didn’t do anything quickly; slow, patient, deliberate would be good ways to describe her process. I never heard her raise her voice unless she was trying to get Grandpa’s attention. But it wasn’t that she didn’t have opinions. When she didn’t approve of something — whether it was something her grandkids did or something on TV — she would shake her head or slowly shake her finger. It was enough of a punishment to know she was disappointed.

I’ve often longed for her calm approach to life. If she was worried about things, I could never tell. She also wasn’t a complainer. As she got older, her feet really bothered her. She didn’t have any — literally any — fat on the bottom of her feet so when she stood and cooked all day, even with her thick-soled shoes on, she would almost limp into a chair after dinner. It became a tradition that I would rub her feet almost nightly when we would visit. She would never complain but when I pressed a certain way, she would wince a little. She often fell asleep during these foot rubs and would apologize after.

Everything she did pointed to these two truths: she loved God and she loved her family.

My granddaddy was just as quiet. When we would visit their Tennessee farm, I remember him spending the mornings in the fields and the afternoons in his office. He taught Sunday School at their church for decades and would spend hours reading and studying every week. He always struck me as contemplative. He didn’t feel the need to fill silence, often sitting and gazing out the window even if someone else was in the room. I remember as a very talkative little girl wondering why anyone would be content to just watch the birds fly by and not comment on it.

As inclined as he was to silence, he did laugh. I remember his eyes crinkling with laughter while we watched The Three Stooges. My Me-Ma {grandma} had a running collection of sad movies where the animal dies at the end and we would regularly watch them. Granddaddy would wander into the room, see what was on the TV and say, “Y’all watching that Old Yeller again? Y’all knows how it ends, don’t ya?” and walk out chuckling. Even as he became more forgetful and slower toward the end of his life, I still remember him whistling, softly laughing when something struck him funny, and content.

Both of these people had seen hardship {Grandma’s brother died when she was a teenager and Granddaddy’s parents died when he was young} but they didn’t let difficulty define them or keep them from smiling. They both faced life with the perspective that God was in control.

I wish I would have had more opportunities to sit and ask questions and learn from them. The memories I do have are precious and going into this next year God has given, I’m making a conscience effort to not let the things around me dictate my mood or attitude. I want to find joy in simple things, serve my family well, and point others to Christ by my daily attitude.

Do you ever think what your legacy will be for those who know you? How would you like to be remembered?

Photo by James Besser on Unsplash.

Making an Impact

I've been thinking of the word impact lately. Particularly how we impact those around us. My daughter recently finished a book about various Christian women who did amazing things. One that caught her attention was Joni Eareckson Tada. 

In case you're unfamiliar with the story, when Joni was 17 she dove into a river, hitting the bottom with her head and paralyzing her from the neck down. After battling depression and questioning God's goodness, Joni came to believe God could still use her, even from a wheelchair. She started a radio program, founded a ministry for people with disabilities, learned to paint with a brush in her mouth, and wrote books about her accident. She still speaks at events, sharing God's love and grace in the midst of tragedy.

My daughter was filled with questions after reading about this remarkable woman. She also retold and shared the story with multiple friends. Joni's life and testimony are impacting my daughter, making her consider God's goodness in hard times, and revealing it is possible to rejoice when life isn't what we expect.

Another person we have been discussing recently is Ron Hamilton. My kids have become big fans of Patch the Pirate music adventures, listening to the stories and songs daily. On one recording, Patch (Ron) explained to the kids that he had cancer in his one eye and the doctor had to remove it. He started wearing a patch and people joked he looked like a pirate. He began to write songs and record stories that taught kids biblical principles and Patch the Pirate was started. I knew all this from listening in my own childhood but my daughter eagerly found me and told the whole story.

These two people have never met my daughter and they probably won't this side of heaven. But they are impacting her, living lives that point to Christ and encouraging her to keep trusting God, even if hard things happen. 

The world is full of so many 'role models' living for the things of this world. Our children need good, faithful examples to follow. And there are so many people throughout history that we can learn from.

But don't discount yourself. Maybe you don't have children or grandchildren. You can still impact those around by reaching out, getting to know others, and getting involved in their lives. I remember lessons from Sunday School teachers and Awana leaders from 25 years ago. Just step up and allow God to use you.

As a parent, I'm so thankful when other godly people take interest in my kids and model biblical living. It shows my kids I'm not the only one saying, 'Obey your parents' or 'Love the Lord' or 'Don't complain but rejoice'. And our whole family benefits from the love and kindness of a godly example.

You don't have to have a huge platform or social media presence to make an impact. Start in your own home and reach out to those around you. Ask God to put people in your path that need encouragement and then don't be afraid when he answers.

We might never know the influence we have on others but that’s not the point. We need to simply be willing to be examples and be used of God and leave the rest to Him.

Photo by Linus Nylund on Unsplash