Things I've Learned from Homeschooling

We have finished our fifth year of homeschooling!

Even though I knew I wanted to homeschool my kids before we even had kids, each year that we successfully complete is a triumph but also kind of amazing! Homeschooling is an opportunity that I am very grateful for but it’s not the easiest option, it’s not always the most convenient option, and it’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly or flippantly. It’s definitely a choice that we make every year and go into with much prayer.

I’ve had so many people ask me about homeschooling and how we do it year after year. To be honest, we look at just the year in front of us and plan our best for that year’s needs. I’m also changing routines and aspects of our school days each year based on what worked the previous year, what didn’t, what my kids are interested in, how they learn best, and how they’re developing. Learning is not a static process and I don’t treat our school that way.

Although I love homeschooling and recommend it without reservation, I know people’s situations are different, there isn’t one answer to good education, and I try to never disparage another parent’s decision about education. That said, I want to share some things I’ve learned about homeschooling and present an honest truth from my own experiences.

I don’t have to know everything before I teach my children. One of the most humbling things about teaching is realizing all the things you’ve forgotten. Especially as my oldest gets into complicated math problems, more complex literature and grammar rules, and deeper science theories, I find myself with a niggling in my mind that at one time I did learn these things; I just don’t completely remember them. So I have to review, work a few long division problems, watch some YouTube videos about diagramming sentences, and move forward with my daughter.

Not everyday is the same. Because I like planning and routine, I used to set out with grand plans for everything we would do each hour of our school day. But those aren’t practical for us or very sustainable. I know some homeschooling families are much more structured but one of the beauties of homeschooling is making it fit with your family. Sometimes history takes us 15 minutes, other days we’ll stop after 45. If something is resonating and sparking questions, we’ll dwell on it a little more. When my daughter was learning about sand being heated to make glass, she asked about the process and we watched a few YouTube videos that showed the glass making process. That led to a conversation about recycling, how things are recycled, and another video on that topic. We are flexible and I’m thankful for the option.

Learning can look different than books. I love reading and beautiful illustrations and diagrams and maps. To me, books are great treasures for learning about things. They can involve your imagination and emotions and teach you in ways other mediums can’t. There’s nothing like holding a book in your hands and being transported. But I’ve found my kids can put into practice the things they’ve studied in so many different ways. By giving them Legos, blocks, pipecleaners, buttons, and a host of other ordinary things, they can build and imagine in such a diverse way. It’s one thing to read how a bridge supports weight or how people lived in castles and another to actually build a structure that stands and design your own town with everything people need to survive. But it is all learning.

I’m not strong enough. The hardest days in homeschooling are when I’m frantic, distracted with worries and anxious, and haven’t read my Bible or fixed my mind on biblical truth. Anything I try to push through and muster the strength for on my own leaves me frustrated, tired, and ready to give up. Even though we are the teacher for our children and it feels like a weight and responsibility we alone need to bear, we were never meant to do it alone. I love James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” God has promised to give us the wisdom we need to fulfill what he has called us to. We have but to ask, yet how often do we attempt to power through on our own? It’s not weakness to admit we need grace and help. It’s living in humility.

Life is about learning. Homeschooling is a humbling, growing, stretching blessing that I don’t take for granted. I’m thankful to teach my children and learn alongside them. Every year that I homeschool I find out more about God and my children and myself. It’s a unique and remarkable journey that I don’t regret.

Photo by Kimberly Farmer on Unsplash.

Why I'm Proud to be a Mom

This is National Women’s History Month. All month, people are supposed to remember, reflect, celebrate, and commemorate everything that women have achieved.

I should start this post by saying I’m not against women or working or contributing. Women have different talents and abilities than men, given to them by God. This doesn’t mean women aren’t smart enough for math or can’t physically work on a car. It means God created men and women differently and I’m thankful for those differences and how God uses them in people’s lives.

Now, my issue is that in secular culture and sadly seeping into the church we see women championed and celebrated in every sphere except motherhood. Sure some commentators will acknowledge that moms are important for children’s mental, physical, and spiritual formation. But in this month of “Look what women have done!” not many people are talking about moms. And when they are, it’s disparaging. They talk about stay at home moms as if we sit on the couch watching the world go by. We have no ambition, no drive, we aren’t contributing to the family income so what good are we? We’re lazy, poor role models. I mention all these because these are actual comments on various Twitter feeds that I’ve seen this month. Downgrading what moms do and exalting the CEO woman who's tearing up Wall Street. We put so much pressure on women to get out there and seize their chance that those who want to stay home with children are ridiculed.

But what no one seems to consider is that behind that woman changing the world and shattering the glass ceiling is probably a mom. Isn't it interesting that so many Olympic athletes talk about the sacrifices their mom made for their child's dream? How many times have we seen a nameless mom with tears of happiness on her face while her child receives a gold medal? We praise the athlete's dedication but often ignore or overlook the mom who gave up something so her child could make history. 

Moms are important, whether they stay at home or work outside the home. The work of nurturing, feeding, caring, keeping a dozen brain tabs open at all times...the value of a mom has become a punchline on sitcoms but it is so important. The work of training your children and showing them they are loved and valued is important.

My oldest turns ten this year and I’ve been reflecting on what I still need to teach her, what I want her to know, and things I want to do with her before she becomes an adult. I admit, it’s enough to leave me overwhelmed. These previous nine years with her have been a joy and a learning process for me and I definitely feel lacking to guide her in some ways. But when I’m at a complete loss for how this mothering adventure is going, I remember these words from Deuteronomy: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. {6:5-9}

So much of what we teach is how we act {gulp!}. And these verses remind me that everything I do and say is teaching something to my children. Teaching them anger or patience. Teaching hate or love. Trusting in man or trusting in God. Teaching them to love God and follow him above all else is the most important thing I can model. And moms are perfectly placed to demonstrate these truths to their children.

Becoming a mom doesn’t mean your dreams end. Becoming a mom doesn’t mean you never have fun or do what you want. Often our desires or aspirations are put on hold while we have little ones but those years are never wasted. Maybe your child will be a doctor who helps others, or a judge who stands for the oppressed, or a teacher who loves kids unwanted at home. For all of these careers, raising children who love God and His Word is the greatest lesson you can teach. And it begins with a mom who loves them.

Please don't read this and think I'm advocating for a mom month. But if you are a mom and feel overlooked or marginalized or invisible, I see you and I'm cheering you on. The fruit of your labor {raising your children} won't be fully known for years but what you do today matters. Press on, Momma. And lean on God.

Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash

The Makings of a Rested Mom

You probably read the title of this post and laughed, maybe raised your eyebrows at the thought or spit your cold coffee across the room in disbelief.

The words ‘rest’ and ‘mom’ don’t really seem to go together especially if you are waist-deep in the toddler/baby years. But I’m here — as a mom who gets awakened by kids every night — to tell you rest and sleep are different. A rested mom might still be sleep deprived and a mom getting 8+ hours of sleep a night could be lacking rest.

You see, somehow we’ve confused rest and sleep and made ourselves believe they have to be the same. Yes, we sometimes substitute the word ‘rest’ for ‘sleep’ {I do this with my youngest hoping to trick her into laying down. “We’re just going to take a little rest.” She hasn’t fallen for it yet.} But rest also means ‘refreshing ease or inactivity after exertion.”

In short, rest is the opposite of working, not necessarily the opposite of being awake.

There’s a chance you agree with me that rest doesn’t mean sleeping. But you might still be wondering how a mom can attain this inactivity. Laundry, cooking, cleaning, possibly working and/or homeschooling, errands, etc. The life of a mom is usually about busyness. There’s always something to be done.

And here’s where I think we have room to rest: realizing we can’t do everything and making room for something we love.

I truly believe our struggle with comparison robs us of more rest than our children. {Read that line again.}

Let me give you an example. It’s super easy to see people baking, decorating, gardening, sewing, etc. and feel like you must do all those things to be a great mom. So you set out to make bread every morning, supply every room with cozy throw pillows and blankets, have a garden perfectly manicured and producing flowers or vegetables in every season, sewing quilts and clothes and….

Suddenly, all the time you aren’t busy with kids is filled with things you may not love doing or even need to do but because you compare yourself to ‘that perfect mom on social media’ you feel like you aren’t doing enough.

But the truth is, no one can do everything. And even though the home/lifestyle mom blogs seem to be perfect at everything, they probably don’t have homemade bread at every meal. They might not be homeschooling. They might hire a cleaning service. And maybe they don’t enjoy reading, painting, knitting, watching TV, or other things that you consider restful. I honestly know people who enjoy baking and find it relaxing. I know people who can spend hours working in their garden. One mom’s torment is another mom’s rest.

So the point is to discover what you find restful and make time for it. At first, I thought this was extremely selfish of me. But taking an hour or two each week to focus on something I love actually energizes me to get back to my family and serve them. And I feel rested — even if I’m still tired — and not frazzled from constant chaos and noise.

How do you make time in a packed schedule? You make time for what’s important to you. So during naptime, you sit and paint instead of folding laundry. When your kids are in the tub, you sit on the floor and read. You might need to get creative but there is time to break away and breathe. And I’m not saying every nap time or free moment is spent on yourself to the detriment of your housework. But we shouldn’t press on with what we “have to do” until we burn out and snap.

Rest isn’t checking out. It’s not having to take a nap. It’s not neglecting what you have to do to keep the family fed and clean. It’s seeing where you have a few moments and stepping back. It’s taking time to do something you love.

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

The Balance of Mothering and Creating

For years, I’ve had this struggle: finding the balance between being a mom and being a creative.

I love my kids and I love homeschooling them and watching them learn and grow. I’m so thankful for the things they have taught me and the ways they have stretched me. But I miss working on a project without interruptions. I wish I could sit and write when the inspiration hits instead of scribbling disjointed thoughts on a paper that lays beside my computer for weeks until I get to it. It’s hard to pursue what I love while fully giving attention to the people I love.

I don’t think this is an unusual struggle. I think moms everywhere are trying to find a balance. Maybe for you it’s painting, photography, baking, DIY projects. There’s something you love that inspires you and pulls on you. But you are reminded daily {hourly?} that there is a more important pull, one that won’t always be there. The desire to play and create with your kids, to teach them new things and read your favorite stories aloud. To answer their questions and comfort their fears. You know they won’t always run to you or climb in your lap. So you put your dreams aside with a sigh and embrace the joy before you.

In my quest to spend my time wisely and make room for my hobbies, I’ve read books and blog posts about this delicate balance. They all suggest working while the little ones sleep, rising early, dedicating Sunday afternoon/evening to your craft. But sometimes those aren’t possible. Kids who don’t nap, seasons of sickness and transition when you have to grab any rest you can get, obligations that take the first of your limited free time. These are all real struggles. It doesn’t mean you aren’t seizing every moment. Sometimes there aren’t many moments to seize.

The last few years have been the most difficult for me. Two children in a row that didn’t nap or sleep well at night left me exhausted. Going from two kids to three upped the laundry, cleaning, cooking, argument settling. Changing up our homeschool routine meant I needed to spend more time planning and prepping and overseeing. My desire to write never left or diminished. It just got pushed to the side. And while I’m okay with that because I love being with my family, there’s still the urge to journal and research and read in every moment of space — no matter how small. I’ve been known to stand at the stove, stirring sauce with a book in my other hand. I carry a notebook in my purse and sometimes scribble a question or thought before I climb out of the car to grocery shop.

I have no great advice on pursuing your creative dreams and desires while balancing mom life. I haven’t found a magic formula, a golden hour, a tried and true routine. When my family needs me, I try my best to be there. I try to put them first in my time and energy, even when that means I don’t get ‘creative space’ every day. But I also acknowledge that they can join my creative pursuits. I take my pen and paper outside while they play, I tell them my ideas while we eat lunch together, I turn the music loud so they can dance behind me while I’m typing. It’s not perfect. But we make it work. And I continue to wait. And write. And trust God to meet me where I am.

Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash.

Your Work is Not in Vain

No matter what we’ve been called to in this life, no matter how much we love it or enjoy the ministry we have to others, there will be times when we wonder why. Why is it like this? Why am I trying? Or maybe we question the whats: What difference do I make? What does it matter if I pour myself into this thing I’ve been given? Another word for this could be discouragement.

I’m ashamed to admit I get discouraged easily. It’s something I’ve struggled with for a long time and something I’m continually working on. I’ve seen my share of times when I made an extra effort, spent time I didn’t have, waded deep with someone into hard things and it didn’t turn out how I thought. My efforts went unnoticed and unappreciated. The person I had spent hours helping went off and did the opposite of my counsel, basically walking away from me. And I thought, “Why did I try? What did all that accomplish?”

It’s easy in our finite, limited view of life to see what’s right in front of us and completely miss what might come. The immediate attracts our attention and gets noticed. But sowing seeds for the long haul? Why? We often don’t see the benefit.

A few weeks ago it was unseasonably warm where we live and I sent my two oldest kids outside for the afternoon. I soon heard them rushing inside, the flow of water in the sink, then the slam of a door as they headed out again. This happened about three times before I wandered outside to see what was going on. With pure excitement, my son informed me they had found seeds from some kind of tree, planted them, and were now diligently pouring water by the cupful onto the ground. That night he asked if he could check on his seeds the next day.

“Do you think my seedling will be above the ground tomorrow?” he asked.

I gently reminded him it takes awhile before we see a plant blooming. And that it was still a little early for anything to start sprouting outside. A few days later, a layer of snow confirmed my warning to not get his hopes up.

We might smile — as the wise, older adults we are — but our short sightedness in life is perfectly parallel to his five year old expectations. We stop praying for something because we don’t see an answer. We get discouraged when our situation is less than ideal. We give up on people that disappoint us. We decide to not put in effort when we don’t see a payoff.

But a verse that keeps coming up in conversations, readings, and posts is Romans 12:12 —

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Here we have three things that Christians are told to practice: joy, patience, and consistency. And all of these take time! We rejoice because we have hope for the future in Christ. Patience is not something that develops overnight and especially when we want to give in, we need to wait for how the Lord will work. Finally, we are called to pray (I Thess. 5:17) and we need to approach everything with the attitude that God will answer — in His time and way. Our responsibility is to be consistent in asking Him to work.

It’s easy to believe that if we don’t see results for our work immediately we don’t need to keep trying. But just as it takes time for seeds in the garden to mature, we must continue on with what we have been called to do. It might get discouraging, the process might be hard, but we are not alone in our efforts. God gives the strength and ability for everything we do and everything we do is for Him.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash.

Prayer

I've often felt inadequate in many ways. I know a little about a lot of things but I'm not an expert or particularly skilled in any one thing. As a homeschooling, stay at home mom to three kids, there are many things I don't have the time or energy or physical ability to accomplish. 

Many is the time when I want to do something and just can't. There are needs and opportunities even in my own church that I am not able to meet or contribute to.

Those realizations are hard. Especially when I think, 'If I wasn't homeschooling, I'd have all morning for that,' 'If my kids were older, they could stay home alone while I did that,' 'If there wasn't cooking, cleaning, laundry, meal planning…' Our lives can quickly become a list of grievances or hindrances instead of looking at what IS possible in the place we are now.

My biggest shift in this thinking has been prayer. The beautiful thing about prayer is we can do it anytime, anywhere. There is no formula to follow, no time limit or special place. In the chaos of our daily surroundings and in the long, sleepless nights, God hears our prayers.

Suddenly, my perceived inadequacies are swept away. You don't have to be an expert to approach the throne of God. We come before him with awe, humility, broken, and needy people. And he hears.

When I can't worship at church because of sick children or attend a Bible study because of schedules, I can pray for those who are there. When visiting others isn't possible and carting kids around keeps us from hospital bedsides, we can pray for healing and peace.

I believe one of the reasons prayer is often difficult is because we do it in private. Has anyone ever asked you if you pray daily? Maybe they tell you a request but do they ask if you actually follow through? In our society of sharing and recognition, do we take time to do things no one sees? It's hard to take a prayer selfie. And yet it should be a crucial, vital part of our Christian lives.

I love I Thess 5: In everything give thanks, pray without ceasing. This idea of being in constant communion with God. When we hear a request or a friend pops in our mind, just stopping for 30 seconds and bringing them before God. When we are on the verge of tears, tired of disciplining children, a 1 minute prayer for wisdom and love. Situations that break us, circumstances that confound us, people that fail us, opportunities that shock us. God knows them all. He hears them all. And he wants to heal, protect, renew, and forgive us.

Photo by Sergey Zolkin on Unsplash

The Need for Quiet

I’ve always enjoyed music. I never really thought of music as filling silence or needing to have it playing at all times. I just enjoy singing along, being swept away in a beautiful melody. I didn’t need silence and I usually had something playing in the background.

Three kids later and my appreciation for quiet has grown. It’s a funny paradox: we eagerly teach our children to talk and exclaim with delight when they can finally communicate. But we quickly become weary of constant questions, commentary, and the inevitable noise that accompanies them. My children have all been early talkers — even before we could understand their words they had something to say all the time. My daughter who is just over a year will frequently walk into a room, speak emphatically while waving her arms, and then leave.

Quiet has become a rare treasure in my life. And if it isn’t my kids, it’s the phone, the computer, the fridge, random dogs and children outside. The world is a noisy place and it’s almost impossible to completely retreat from it. The other day, I was walking in my neighborhood alone. I heard the wind sweeping through leaves, bees buzzing over a flowering tree, birds tweeting. I closed my eyes for just a moment and let the calm pass over me. It didn’t last long; a car came screeching down the road with radio blaring. But for a minute, I not only heard the quiet, I breathed it in.

Sometimes I don’t realize I’m craving silence until the noise level escalates. When the kids start screaming, a dozen toddler toys are playing a dozen different sounds, and I can’t put words together for all the exterior distractions, I suddenly feel the need for quiet. For calm.

But silence doesn’t always mean rest. We live close to many beautiful, scenic walks. Places far from cars and barking dogs. But even when I’m surrounded by physical quiet and calm, often my heart is restless. I’m worrying about something or anxious for the future. I’m concerned for a sick friend or burdened for someone I’m witnessing to. I worry for my kids — their salvation, future, decisions — and for my own desires — will I ever finish that project, publish a book, finish weeding. Even in the quiet, it can feel suffocating.

I’m slowly discovering that quiet for my life right now doesn’t always equal being alone in total silence. Sometimes it’s my heart and mind that needs to be quieted more than my kids. Even if the noise continues around me, I can find quiet for my worries, anxieties, and fears through God’s Word. The Psalms are a wonderful place to dwell when things are noisy around us.

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2

The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. Psalm 9:9

Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life. Psalm 54:4

When the noise and cares of the world crowd around you and leave you longing for quiet, run to the Bible and rest in His promises. They are unchanging and will quiet your restless heart.

Photo by Eduard Militaru on Unsplash.

Why Moms Need Prayer

We hear over and over that mom's need to pray. We need strength. We need help. We need everything God can give us to stay up to the task of mothering. But it's about more than requesting God give us the physical ability to make it through the next day. Mothering is not about surviving until it gets easier. Mothers are in the business of mentoring.

In the midst of changing diapers and fixing meals it's easy to forget our most important role as moms. We are charged with shaping and molding the little lives God has given us. If we provide merely for their physical needs, we are neglecting the most important need and setting them up for struggles later in life. Every mom wants what is best for her children. That's why parenting blogs and mommy magazines are so prolific. We want to know we are doing what is best for our children and have validation for those choices.

But life is about more than getting good grades, being athletic, or looking picture perfect. We are here to glorify God and that doesn't begin at a certain age. The truth is we need to teach our children, while they are young, the importance of a relationship with Christ. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” This doesn’t guarantee that perfect parenting with automatically equal perfect children. But it is encouragement that when we take time now to correct, discipline, and guide our children in Christlikeness, those lessons are important for their future.

And this is where prayer comes in. As mothers we need to pray not just for ourselves in dealing with our children but pray for the individual needs of each child. We need to realize that ultimately their spiritual growth doesn't come down to our rules, restrictions, or regulations. They need the Holy Spirit indwelling them just as we do. It is God that can affect true change in their lives. While we can and should be examples of godly living, we can't force spirituality on our children.

Prayer is communication with God. He hears, he answers, he guides. Think of all the times the psalmist cried out to God. He was praying. James instructs us to ask for wisdom and if there's one thing mom's need wisdom about, it's raising children! (James 1:5) Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust God first and lean on him and he will direct our steps. If we aren't going to God in prayer over how we teach our children, how can we say we are trusting his guidance?

I want to close by issuing a challenge. I’ve put together a week long prompt on praying for yourselves and our children. Click the button below to download and print out the schedule.

Photo by Gebhartyler on Unsplash

The Long Road of Faithfulness

Our family spent last weekend mourning the loss and celebrating the life of Tommy's grandpa. Death is bittersweet for Christians. There is sorrow for those left behind, facing moments without loved ones and adjusting to new routines. But there is also joy that pain and death and troubles of this world are gone for the departed. They are with God, praising, rejoicing in ways we can't fully fathom.

As we reflected on the life of Tommy's grandpa and his many years of Christian ministry, I was struck with a theme that is present in many Christian lives but not often noticed until death takes them from us. Faithfulness. The constant, consistent, day in-day out service that adds up over a lifetime.

And that, oddly, made me think about another big day that happened recently. Last week we received our much anticipated ants for our ant farm. After a very eventful transfer from mailing tube to plastic farm {meaning the ants suddenly woke up and started crawling all over the kitchen counter} we started watching the busy ants make their home. The incredible thing about ants is how they can lift those pieces of sand and carry them somewhere else, all in a coordinated effort to make a series of tunnels.

What does a faithful life have in common in ants? Well, the job of the ants is being consistent in their task. Grain by grain, piece by piece, they transfer piles of sand from one place to another. When we first poured the sand into the bottom of the ant farm, my son looked less than convinced that they would actually be able to make tunnels. “It’s too much,” he insisted. “They have nowhere to move the sand and they’re too small to dig it out.” But to our surprise, by the time we went to bed that first night, those industrious little ants were well on the way to making a home.

My son’s biggest misconception was that the ants were going to try and move all the sand from the tunnel in one trip. He pictured moving each grain as too time consuming, an impossible task for such small creatures. But he had ignored the importance of faithfully keeping on. Sometimes the job looks impossible and difficult and days in the making. Instead of dwelling on all the reasons why we couldn’t possibly do something, we must faithfully tackle each day and do what that day requires. Even when we don’t know how we could ever get through the rest of the week, we need to focus on what we can do today. And over a lifetime, oh the things we could do!

As people shared memories of Tommy’s grandpa last weekend, it was mainly little things that added up to great achievements. It was the daily faithfulness to do what he knew the Lord was calling him to do. As a mom with young kids, I often struggle. It’s so easy to get caught up in the big things. How will I handle my kids as teenagers, what if they want to do that, how can I teach them this? But you know the truth? All those things have roots in the here and now. You want your kids to trust God in the future? Then show them how it’s done now. While they’re young, while they look to you and come to you with questions.

Maybe we want to do big things but the time and energy we have are limited right now. We think what we get done today couldn’t possibly matter in the long run. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, outside the home jobs — it might seem so monotonous and unimportant. But faithful consistency where God has us today has influence we may never know. Maybe you are moving one grain of sand at a time, but over years of working at it, think at what will be built!

Faithfulness is a fruit of the Spirit so I know it’s something worth pursuing. I also know it doesn’t come naturally. But it is such a vital part of our relationship with God and our diligence in doing what he wants us to do. Small, faithful steps over a lifetime become a journey walked in God’s grace.

Photo by Vlad Tchompalov on Unsplash

Writing and Waiting

A little over a year ago something amazing happened to me.

We were in the midst of putting our house up for sale, we had an offer in on a house we loved, and we had a one month old baby in addition to our two others kids. There were ministries at church, homeschooling, making family time, and trying to stay sane.

I hadn’t started this blog because writing seemed like a far off dream. Definitely something I couldn’t give daily time to. Then — out of the blue — I received a message from an acquaintance who I had written a few questions about writing. She was a published author and I knew her from several different circles but our correspondence had been limited. She asked in her message if I would be willing to contribute a few devotionals for an upcoming publication meant to specifically encourage moms. And she needed them by the end of the month.

I showed the message to Tommy, too stunned to reply. Even though the schedule was packed, he said he thought I should do it. He volunteered to help out with whatever I needed in the coming month. I took a few breaths and wrote back asking for more information and that I was very interested.

Over the next few days, I thought about what encouraged me as a mom and how it related to gospel truth. I wrote using my phone in every small moment I could grab. I dictated ideas and Bible verses while packing boxes. With Tommy’s help and lots of grace I was able to write two devotionals and get them sent in on time. Just in time for Mother’s Day last year, the booklet was published and we moved into our new home.

Then a busy summer hit, and we started homeschool in the fall and life just took off again. And my writing once again took a backseat to everything else in life. In our new home, I have a beautiful office in a spare bedroom and a few times a week I carve out enough time to write a blog post, pursue a new idea, journal some thoughts.

Although my efforts seem small, my goal is to keep going. To keep doing what I love and feel called to. Sometimes we look at what others are doing and imagine the joy of being there ourselves. But it seems impossible because of different circumstances and life stages. We wonder when this will pass and we can pursue the next thing — the thing we really want. I’ve had those moments. The wondering when my baby will sleep through the night so I have energy to wake up early and get things done before the kids join me. The waiting as I query publishers about a project I’ve been working on for years.

But the truth I’ve come to recognize is that even when we are in seasons of waiting and it looks like our passions will remain dormant forever, we are still growing and learning. And in that personal growth our passions and desires grow too. I might not be able to sit and write as often as I want but when I get the chance, my fingers have learned to fly! The number of words I can pour onto a page in an hour is much greater than it used to be. My experiences have changed what I write and the tone I use. Feedback from editors on the few projects I’ve done has sharpened my skills and helped me recognize errors I’m prone to.

The waiting is not wasted time. The writing I scribble into journals and dictate into my phone on walks is not wasted. It is all used to teach me and grow me and change me so that when the time is right, I’ll be better equipped to use my passion for God.

Photo by Neven Krcmarek on Unsplash

On Writing in Motherhood

I sit at my desk, laptop open. A blank page flickers on the screen. I position my hands above the keyboard. And the baby cries. Or my son rushes in asking for a snack. Or my older daughter needs help hot gluing a craft together. And so ends my brief escape into writing.

Despite the many interruptions they bring, I don't begrudge my children for needing me when I would rather be writing. They are far more important than anything I could hope to put onto paper.

But that doesn't mean I give up my love of creating and writing and shove it aside until the children are out of the house. Even the small, short moments I carve out to write my blog posts are special to me and needed. Some people unwind by watching a movie or running. I turn to words.

Just about any friend I've had for any length of time knows I'm passionate about books - both reading them and writing them. As a child, after reading every Nancy Drew the library had, I wrote my own mystery-style books. When I felt sad I tried my hand at poetry. I have journals from high school through today chronicling my life. I received a journalism degree in college and wrote for the school newspaper. Clearly, written words and thoughts and stories have always been a part of my life.

Having children didn't change that dream. It just modified it. I have to be intentional about the time I get to write. I'm scribbling this post on my phone while my youngest naps in my arms. I've written scenes for novels in doctor’s office waiting rooms. I've dictated ideas to a phone app while walking through the neighborhood with my kids in tow.

And I've realized that just because something looks different than you imagined it doesn't mean it can't happen. I always pictured myself at a desk typing away for hours at a time. Maybe sometime life will look like that. But for now it's a baby on the floor of my office, two kids running in and out asking questions, needing help. It's writing pieces of the same post or chapter over three different days. And sometimes it's not getting any writing done for a whole week.

But I wouldn't change this version of my writing life. In the midst of frustrations, my children are a source of love, joy, and laughter. So my writing creeps on but my life is all the deeper for the interruptions.

If you want to see how I juggle my writing with three young kids, click on my Instagram handle at the bottom of the page and search for #mywritermomlife

Photo by jeshoots.com on Unsplash