The Value of Children

As the year comes to a close, I like to look back and consider things I learned, what stood out as important, and use it as a framework for the coming year. Two things stood out to me in 2024; I’ll address one here and one in this post.

A theme culturally in 2024 that struck me was children. Slowly but surely the dialogue about and the treatment of children is becoming hostile. Starting with abortion and throughout childhood, children are being targeted in so many ways, and sometimes by those who should be protecting them: their own parents.

When we talk about protecting children, we automatically think of their physical safety. With the acceptance of abortion and the trans movement, along with people turning a blind eye to human trafficking, considering the literal, physical safety of children is indeed important.

But we often shove a facet of caring for children aside. That is their value and emotional health. I’m afraid the worldly, everyone’s a winner mentality has caused many Christians to shift to the other extreme of just grow up and get over it. I believe there is a balance to be had.

We can encourage and cheer on our children, be proud of their efforts and accomplishments, and let them know they matter to God without making an idol of them. We were all children at one point and I think we can all remember a time we were bullied, made fun of, embarrassed, etc. and we shouldn’t purposefully do those things to our children as payback for our own experiences.

I saw a disturbing trend on social media that was labeled as “Watch my child react while I…” and the videos were parents filming themselves cracking eggs on kids’ heads, throwing flour at them, lying about going to Disneyland and recording how their children reacted for the purpose of posting on social media and getting likes. These are the same parents who no doubt will complain that their kids no longer speak to them once they reach High School.

If we want good relationships with our teen/adult children, we need to cultivate that in our toddler/elementary age children. This means not purposefully embarrassing them, making fun of them, posting their failures. We need to remember that those toddlers will grow up and they will use how they were treated as a guide for how to treat others.

Those of us posting as parents now didn’t grow up with parents on social media. Imagine your parents filming your disappointments, chronicling your attitude issues for a host of strangers online.

Another disturbing trend is the crashing birth rate, not only in the US but throughout Europe as well. I acknowledge that some couples want children and physical reasons keep them childless. But the majority of young people today are choosing to not have children for financial, selfish, and career pursuits. Children are no longer a joy; they are an inconvenience, an obstacle to getting more from life.

But I argue that there is a certain joy found only in children. Watching children learn new skills, try hard things, enjoy creation. One of the things that brings tears to my eyes the most is watching my children take in new experiences. Laughing, exploring, learning, seeing the world through their perspective and innocence.

Children should be treasured and wanted, at every age.

Photo by Josue Michel on Unsplash

The Value of Beauty

As the year comes to a close, I like to look back and consider things I learned, what stood out as important, and use it as a framework for the coming year. Two things stood out to me in 2024; I’ll address one here and one in this post.

I am somewhere between minimalist and hoarder.

While I don’t love little trinkets and figures displayed on shelves that will need to be dusted on rotation, I also don’t love the sparceness of nothing. The empty walls and shelves half filled with books, spine facing in {seriously, who started that trend and can we please stop?!}.

I am also sentimental so keeping things is important to me too. The few things I have on display are from special people or certain times in my life. The minimal clutter they cause is worth it to me because of the memory associated with it.

And in those simple things — memories, experiences, creation — we can find beauty. There’s many different definitions of what is beautiful or what makes something beautiful. And we pair that adjective with many different things: nature, architecture, music, people, food. When we use “beautiful” to describe something we are, in a way, assigning value to it. That walk at sunset was worth it or is worth remembering because of it’s beauty.

I’m afraid sometimes in our modern desire for minimalism, we leave beauty in the dust. Our buildings are built to be efficient, not to inspire wonder. Our furnishings and fashions are designed according to trends, not for beauty.

On our trip to France, I was astounded at the beauty everywhere we looked. The gardens were designed with precision, the stained glass in the churches told stories, the columns of buildings were perfect down to the smallest detail. Even something like a staircase, practical and needed, was carved with intricate designs. I appreciated many things about that trip but the need to slow down to really see everything taught me a lesson about beauty. It’s not something to be rushed by or glanced at. Beauty is to be savored.

Our drive to minimalism and the rush to do everything has kept us from the joy of beauty. We are in too big a hurry to slow down and appreciate what we see and experience. We discard the old for the sleek minimalism of new. Sure, we still use “beautiful” to describe things but is it a hasty use of the word because we can’t stop to think of anything else to say? When did we last pause to consider the true beauty of something?

Whether in God’s creation or something man has made with the talents God gave, beauty in its many forms should make us delay in our rush. We should linger in front of that painting and consider the brushstrokes, we should reread that sentence of perfectly melded words, we should put our fork down between bites and savor our meal.

God could have given us a world in gray tones and beige. Yet he filled it with beauty; he gave us the ability to design and appreciate it. The senses to experience beauty in multiple ways. What a gift!

Photo by JOHN TOWNER on Unsplash

The Small Gift of Gratitude

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Yes, I love the food and time with family and football games. But I especially love the focus on stopping and being grateful.

Gratitude is one of the simplest joys you can add to your life. It doesn’t cost a thing — except maybe your pride — and truly adds to your life. Studies have shown grateful people are more happy and more optimistic. And it’s a nice change to be looking outward in our selfish culture. Unfortunately, sometimes we miss the joy of gratitude because we’re focused on the wrong things.

When we think about what we are thankful for, we tend to think of big picture things: health, a new house, a promotion, etc. And while those are definitely things to be thankful for, if don’t experience any “big” moments in our year, we can overlook some incredible small blessings if we aren’t careful.

My kids are wonderful at pointing me to the small blessings, even if they don’t realize it. They see the world through a different lens than I do and their perspective can be refreshing. My daughter was noticing the clouds move through the sky today and remarked how they looked like God was pushing them along. I love that. God being sovereign over His creation, moving the clouds that will create the storms that will bring the rain and snow we need. Small blessing.

My oldest daughter made a purse and I asked if she was keeping it or gifting it. “I’m giving it to a friend,” she replied. I’m so thankful my kids have friends that are good influences, kind, helpful, fun, and encouraging. None of them are perfect, but they are all working and learning and growing together in Christ. Small blessing.

I could go on…pink sunsets, the heater under my desk, music, birds at my feeder, books, sweet memories with friends, laughter, the smell of cinnamon, bread fresh from the oven, snow.

It really doesn’t take long before our gratitude stretches across pages. But only if we have eyes open to appreciate the simplest, smallest of things.

I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving and may gratitude become a way of life.

Photo by Stephanie Klepacki on Unsplash

The Danger of Feminism

I don’t use my written words to rant. I believe honest, thoughtful communication is the most productive and helpful. I have been known to get on a soapbox when I’m talking to friends but I prefer to think and ponder and reason out my words before sharing them, especially online.

I say that because what I’m writing today might make some of you angry. You might think I’m flinging this off the top of my head but I want to assure you, I’ve thought about this, watched examples of this, and I’m concerned. If you disagree, I’m not mad at you. But please take time to think about what I am communicating here.

I have never identified as a feminist. I believe sometimes we are too hasty to throw on whatever label is trending to seem relevant without considering what that label stands for. But I can honestly say, I’ve never been a feminist. And {this is the controversial part} I don’t think any Christian woman should fall in line with that label in today’s world.

We don’t have the space here to go into all the waves of feminism over the last 200 years, but I recommend the book Mama Bear Apologetics for an insightful chapter on this topic. I’ll only say this: the feminist movement started out wanting to be helpful {voting rights, protecting women from abusing husbands} but as we moved through the 20th century, women got grabby and obnoxious to the point where feminists now believe women are better than men. It’s not about equal rights anymore; it’s about women taking over because we are better.

While I have many problems with this ideology, a sticking point for me that no one talks about is that feminists aren’t really supportive of ALL women. Feminists champion the women that support their views. Other women? Traitors, brainwashed by their evil husbands and fathers. If you think this is an exaggeration, you live in a bubble. Listen to any feminist in an interview, read any article about those fighting for women’s “equality.” They will show their true colors rather quickly and rudely.

Let me give you an example. I have a college degree, I worked full time while my husband went to grad school, and I worked part time before we had kids. After my daughter was born, I worked part time out of the home for six months but then I decided I wanted to stay home with her. I found a remote job {before remote jobs were cool} transcribing interviews and I did that during naptimes and whenever Tommy could watch the baby. As life moved on, I stepped away from the transcribing by my own choice and was “just a stay at home mom.” I’m putting that in quotes because that’s what I’ve been called for over a decade now.

It should also be mentioned that this was a sacrifice. Tommy was making enough to pay the bills and put a little in savings but we chose to live frugally {didn’t eat out much, no fancy vacations, etc.} so that I could stay home.

Our family increased to three kids, we started homeschooling, and life got more busy. In the 13 years I’ve been “stuck at home” with my kids, I’ve never regretted it. I don’t wish I was a CEO or hustling my dream career or anything else. I love learning alongside my kids. I've taken up hobbies like gardening and watercolor painting. Our church activities keep us busy. I live a full life that I am thankful for.

But there are some women who believe I’m not reaching my full potential. Or that I’m trapped and desperately want out but my conservative ties {read: men} are holding me hostage. These feminists do not champion me as a mom choosing to raise her kids. They think I’m ignorant or brainwashed, possibly both.

And that’s one of the places I call foul on the whole feminist movement. If you have the audacity to admit that you are happy in a non-corporate, non-boss babe, suburban life, they believe you are being forced to say it. They will stand against you as you fight for unborn lives and mock you when you speak against agendas targeting kids. Feminists champion one thing: people who agree with them.

Today’s feminists want the power, the money, the job, the everything. It’s not about doing what you’re good at or even what makes you happy. It’s about upending the way “things have always been” and embracing the female future. Have you heard the phrase, “The future is female”? They weren’t just going for alliteration. They actually believe it.

This thinking isn’t doing our daughters any favors. At an all-time high moment of peer pressure, we are making our daughters feel less-than if they don’t have world changing aspirations. Do I want my daughters to succeed in life? Absolutely! But that isn’t always going where no woman has gone before.

Before you stop reading, hear me out. I’m not saying we discourage our girls from working hard, dreaming big, and trying new ideas. I am saying that we shouldn’t make that the focus of their lives or teach them that dream will fulfill them in a way only Christ can.

There are some dreams that just won’t happen {I wanted to be a princess at one point in life} and we shouldn’t tell our daughters they can do or be anything they want…because that’s not true! At another phase of life, I wanted to be a nurse. My mom discouraged that when I started getting faint when I had shots and scored terribly on my biology tests.

As my oldest gets closer to high school and adulthood, something we talk a lot about is what her talents are, what her desires/dreams are, and how she can use those in multiple ways. We talk about how not everyone will enter full time, paid ministry positions but as Christians, everything we do is for God and therefore can be a ministry. What does she love that she can use for God? Because that’s where her ultimate joy will come from.

For me, I believe at this stage my greatest ministry is my kids and the more time I can spend with them, the better. It doesn’t mean I’m perfect, especially patient, gifted, or better. I am not the only one making sacrifices and I can sometimes be selfish about my time. But my ultimate goal in life is to teach my kids Jesus and, prayerfully, live in a way that points to him.

And that’s something 21st century feminism does not support.

Photo by Keegan Houser on Unsplash

A Poem for Summer

I usually don’t write poetry; I’m too much of a rule follower. :)

But as I prepared for teaching two creative writing classes in our homeschool co-op, I realized if I was going to talk with kids and teens about poetry, I needed to get poetry in my mind. I’ve been reading different types and styles and decided to try my hand at writing a free verse-inspired poem about our summer.

This was the Summer

This was the summer

I bought water balloons,

Which the kids filled

And flung around the yard.

This was the summer

For both new and familiar things:

Baseball and movie marathons,

Youth group and playdates;

Trying to say yes when possible.

This was the summer

Of a stomach bug

That knocked us out,

Of allergies

That tickled and itched.

This was the summer

We cuddled on hot days

Because next summer, will you ask?

We talked past bedtime

Because tomorrow, will you want to?

This was the summer

We ate ice cream and snow cones,

Of hiking, swimming, laughing;

For enjoying every moment we could

Because next summer won’t be the same.

At the beginning of the summer, I realized time is passing fast. My oldest is almost 13, quickly approaching the age of summer jobs and doing her own thing. These carefree days of simple joys experienced together won’t always be there. I know time changes things, not in a bad way, but life becomes different.

This summer, I wanted to set aside the things that could wait and be completely present for my kids when possible. I wanted to say yes to things that were nos in the past {like water balloons} and let them try new things {like baseball}.

It was a great summer. Full, exciting, memorable. This simple effort captures just a glimpse.

Photo by Sergey Shmidt on Unsplash

To the Woman Fighting Comparisons

I believe no matter how realistic we are in life, at some point we will be tempted to play the comparison game.

Maybe we look at a friend who always seems to be happy and content and assume nothing challenging comes her way; hence the reason she is always happy and content. Maybe we see someone with a trim figure and assume she has great genetics or perfect discipline. We see a clean house or well behaved children or….

There are dozens of ways we compare ourselves to each other and we usually feature ourselves on the short end of the stick. We feel like we’re out of control, not normal, life is too hard, everything would be better if…. All these are dangerous words and assumptions.

Over the years I’ve had to remind myself of several different truths whenever I start dipping my toes into the ocean of comparisons.

We don’t see the whole picture

One of the dangerous things about social media is we’re constantly seeing snapshots of people’s lives without always remembering they are snapshots. They are clips; memories; brief moments of time chosen to highlight. Most people are not going to share moments disciplining children {and they probably shouldn’t!}, or washing dishes and doing laundry. They aren’t going to showcase failures and disappointments. We see the highs on social media and we tend to think those people ONLY have high moments. They ONLY go on vacation. This is simply not true. I have struggles and disappointments daily, either with myself or with others. But I prefer to show pictures of my flowers then selfies of my crying face.

We need to remember, if we are basing our information about people entirely on what they post on social media, we aren’t seeing the whole picture! If we are only seeing people in certain places or situations, we aren’t seeing the whole picture.

A season for everything

When my three kids were little, my life looked a lot different. I had two children who were terrible sleepers, didn’t nap, needed to be held all the time. During that phase of life, I got done what was necessary: I fed my family, did laundry, cleaned when I noticed dust. I didn’t have a garden, I didn’t pursue hobbies, we didn’t go out a lot. We did things with our church, which was our priority. But we didn’t do big trips, we didn’t do a lot of playdates, I said no to things.

However, as my children became more independent, older, and started sleeping better, I started having more time and coming out of the fog. I could garden without carrying three kids and all their gear outside. I could paint without a toddler wiggling in my arms and knocking my paintbrush. My kids started helping with dinner, cleaning, and doing chores. It makes a HUGE difference in what a day looks like when you have kids that need help with everything versus kids that can do for themselves.

If you are in a difficult, in-the-trenches, in a trial stage of life — because of kids or health or a work situation — don’t look to women in completely different circumstances and compare your life to theirs. Those stages are different and will look different for everyone.

Not everyone has the same capacity

I will sometimes look at everything others are able to do and feel a little envious. Go hiking for that beautiful view! Take my kids to that amazing place! Bake all the desserts! But if I’m honest, not all those things are really my favorite way to spend time. So why would I be envious? Because of the end result. Because I wish I was interested in certain things. Because I feel like I’m missing out or causing my kids to miss out on something that could be amazing.

And that’s a silly reason to compare myself to others and get bent out of shape! I am not a Type A personality. I like to sit and read for the afternoon instead of running unnecessary errands. I enjoy walking through my garden alone instead of going to every party and event. Once I realized and admitted that doing all the things really held no interest for me, it was much easier to stop comparing myself to the moms going all the places.

I don’t think we will ever outgrow the temptation to compare our lives to others. We need reminders of what’s really important and what God has called us to on a daily basis. When comparisons start to cloud your thinking, look up at what’s surrounding you and take hope that it won’t last forever, that no one’s life is perfect.

God has put you where you are. And he’s not going to leave you there alone. When I was deep in the little years, I would read the Psalms and it helped me consider how much God cares for me. I read Lam. 3 and it reminded me God is faithful and every morning is new with his mercies.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

The Wonder of Creation

One of our favorite family activities is watching nature documentaries. Our kids have always loved animals and animal facts, and it’s relaxing to see creatures and landscapes from all over the world.

The BBC’s series “Planet Earth” and “Blue Planet” are some of our favorites. While there are mentions of evolution and global warming, our kids can spot those lies a mile away! From the beginning of reading library books about dinosaurs and watching Wild Kratts, every time millions of years, big bang, evolving, etc. was mentioned, we stopped and walked our toddlers and elementary kids through the truth of the Bible and the falseness of evolution theory. Now, we can watch those programs and they will usually point out the errors before we have a chance!

But the reason we put so much thought and effort into still watching programs that have evolution is to show our kids how amazing creation is and to talk through the incredible attributes of God. I want to highlight a few animals that we learned about from the recent “Planet Earth III” documentary.

The pearl octopus lives deep in the ocean. To keep their eggs warm enough to grow and hatch, they travel to hydrothermal vents where water temperatures can be ten degrees warmer. After laying her eggs, the mother stays with them as a layer of extra warmth and protection. She doesn’t leave, even to eat. When the eggs finally hatch {almost two years later!} and the babies swim away from the vents, the mothers die. They give everything for the survival of their young. Here’s an interesting short clip about this octopus.

One of the animals that had us laughing and marveling was the archer fish. This incredible creation shoots insects off leaves by accurately measuring the distance, accounting for distortion in the water reflection, and spitting water in a perfect stream at the insect! It really is fascinating to watch!

The final animal I’ll mention is the lily trotter, or African Jacanas. These birds seem to run on the surface of the water but their large feet are actually spread across lily pads. What struck us about this bird is shown at the end of this video. To protect the chicks, the father lily trotter tucks them into his wings and carries them to safety. What a beautiful picture of how God cares for us! He doesn’t leave us when we need him or expect us to figure out trials on our own. He lovingly shields us.

Creation is a wonder filled place. As we watched “Planet Earth III” and heard about animals new to us or places just now being discovered, I dwelt on the thought that God knew all along. That creature, that place has been there all along. Even when we didn’t realize it, God was getting the glory for creation that only he saw.

Take this as encouragement to explore creation with your kids. Watch documentaries. Read books. But always point them to the Creator.

Photo by David Clode on Unsplash

Thoughts as I Enter 40

I remember when my parents turned 40. I was 9, 10 years old and 40 seemed like an age I would never reach. Last Saturday, I turned 40.

For the last little bit, I’ve been thinking about this milestone age and what lessons I can take into the next decade. My 20s and 30s were filled with a lot of changes: getting married, moving across country, having kids, ministry life, homeschooling. And I learned a lot through all those experiences. Something about hitting a new decade made me look back and consider what to take with me.

Take time to think before you speak. As I’ve gotten older, some things seem easier, others more difficult. I remember the younger me rattling off all my thoughts, spur of the moment, never considering if there was nuance or gray areas. Everything was black and white to me; what I liked, what I disliked, right and wrong, helpful and hurtful. Age has drawn me in, brought me to moments of reflecting for days and still being hesitant to verbalize my thoughts. It’s not that my standards have changed. What I view as morally wrong and right are the same, but I’d like to think I’m more considerate in how I share my views or maybe I’m more particular about when I voice my opinion at all.

Choose your attitude. I’ve heard that one thing you can always control is your attitude. Outside pressures and perception from others, things running late or failing are usually outside our control. But we can decide how these unexpected things will affect us. Attitude matters. I think after having kids this became more apparent to me! Having a joyful or positive outlook can make even a difficult day a little better. And who doesn’t want to be around a happy person!? When I think of this in light of sanctification, it doesn’t mean we paste on a smile and never show sorrow or frustration. But it does mean that we don’t allow those circumstances to dictate how we treat people or deal with life.

Popularity does not equal value. So much of our current culture is obsessed with likes, clicks, and being viewed positively. People flock to concerts and sporting events to be able to participate in the “it moment” of right now. If you are popular you are listened to, even if you have nothing worth listening to. The more “followers” you have, the better chance of landing a book deal, TV spot, sponsorship, etc. Being popular is the idol so many are striving for. But popularity does not make a person correct, smart, informed, or kind. The world is full of interesting stories and people and experiences that are largely ignored because we don’t believe they are as valuable as the stories and thoughts of a popular person. In the life of a Christian, it shouldn’t be this way. We shouldn’t clamor for the latest and greatest in the eyes of the world. We shouldn’t judge a person’s value on what they think or contribute to society. Every life is valuable and precious, every story worth listening to.

I’m still processing, I’m still learning. It will be a lifelong pursuit and not just something for entering this decade. But I’m thankful for the opportunity and space to consider these things. And my hope is that they spur you on to think too, no matter what age you find yourself.

Photo by Bruce Tang on Unsplash

The Countdown Month

In almost exactly a month, I’m going to turn 40.

I’m not upset or worried or overwhelmed at the prospect. I don’t think a number has to change your outlook on how you live. But I know that entering another decade is a milestone and a blessing. I don’t take a day for granted and I know everything could change in a minute. I’m very thankful for these 40 years.

It’s easy to become reflective when milestones are on the horizon. We remember past moments, maybe regret previous decisions. Over the last two months, I’ve been considering how I’ve changed in the last decade, lessons I’ve learned, things I want to aspire to.

Initially, I thought I’d share 40 thoughts on 40 years but as I began writing them down, it was easy to come up with more than 40. I don’t intend to share them all with you. But over the next few blog posts, I want to highlight the ones that stuck out the most, the ones that kept coming to mind.

As previously stated, I don’t take turning 40 for granted. No age is guaranteed. Which makes the process of approaching this birthday exciting and a time to consider. How have I grown in the last decade? How have I changed and is it for the better? I try to not dwell on regrets but those can be life shaping also.

My goal in this reflective process is to put to words some of what I’m feeling going into my 40th year. And to also challenge you to look at your life. Even if you don’t have big celebrations on the horizon, there is always space to learn and be grateful for this life. I hope my future posts encourage you to do just that.

Photo by Seyedeh Hamideh Kazemi on Unsplash

Books I'm Still Talking About

I read a lot of books. And I love it! Reading has been a hobby, pursuit, enjoyment for me for years. What I have read has changed over the years but the love of reading and learning has been the same.

While what I enjoy reading varies depending on the day, there are a few books through the years that I still love, still talk about, and still recommend. And I want to keep talking about them here. :)

I should tell you I’m not all into happy endings. It doesn’t bother me if a story/novel ends sad as long as it makes sense. I do not enjoy predictable, everything-ends-in-a-perfect-bow type stories. Real life is sad and hard and difficult. I like realism with a dose of hope. So the books listed below are not guaranteed to be happy. You’ve been warned.

• “Remember” by Lisa Genova (non-fiction)

  I learned so much from this book! It was not only interesting but easy to read and helpful. Genova writes about why we remember, why we forget, and how to remember things better in an almost conversational way. She inserts stories and examples that are relatable and explains the workings of our brain in a way the average reader can understand. Highly recommend.

• “Everyday Faithfulness” by Glenna Marshall (Christian living)

  This book was published in 2020 and I read it twice in that year. It is such an encouraging reminder that a faithful life of serving God starts today. You don’t have to wait for perfect circumstances to be faithful. It comes in small, consistent ways that grow over a lifetime.

• “Humble Roots” by Hannah Anderson (Christian living)

  Humility is a topic I’ve studied at different times and consistently need to be reminded of. Anderson pairs facets of humility and what it looks like with nature examples and it’s a perfect combination.

• “Parenting” by Paul David Tripp (Christian living)

  I was very convicted and encouraged by this read. It was full of practical advice and biblical wisdom. While Tripp did mention how he parented in certain situations, I felt he always brought it back to biblical guidelines and didn’t hold himself as the perfect parent to emulate.

• “Blitzed” by Norman Ohler (non-fiction)

  I’ve read a lot of World War II books but this one blew my mind. The use of drugs in the Nazi regime is staggering and it makes so many things make sense. I was literally cringing as I read parts of this; it’s amazing what a persuasive person can convince others to do or what to inject into their bodies.

• “Salt to the Sea” by Ruta Sepetys (fiction)

  This novel was heartbreaking but so well written and truly gripping. The changing point of views and the unraveling of each person’s story was perfectly paced and climaxed in a way you won’t forget. A forgotten part of history that needs to be remembered.

• “We Were the Lucky Ones” by Georgia Hunter (fiction)

  A World War II novel. This one is based on the author’s family and follows their remarkable journey from Europe to South America, separated then together but in devastating ways. It was a book I wanted to devour because it was so well written and interesting but I wanted to slowly savor to make it last.

• “A Place to Hang the Moon” by Kate Albus (young adult fiction)

  With the feel of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, this book seems like a classic although it’s relatively new. Meet three children, looking for their forever home amidst the uncertainties of London in the early days of World War II. Trundled off to the country, their foster home is less than ideal but the village library and kind librarian keep hopes alive that someday, they’ll find a place to belong. Beautifully written and appropriate for all ages to enjoy.

• “The Swallow’s Flight” by Hilary McKay (young adult fiction)

  The lives and experiences of four young people during World War II from very different perspectives. Each fighting their own demons and discovering their worth and purpose in a changing world. Themes of friendship, courage, kindness, and doing the right thing make this a winning story for boys and girls alike.

• “The Light Between Oceans” by M. L. Stedman

  I have found you either love this book or hate it! Set off the coast of Australia after World War I, a lighthouse keeper, recovering from war, and his wife, desperate for a child, embark on a journey that will test them in unimaginable ways. How far would you go to fulfill your deepest wish? And what would you sacrifice to do the honorable thing?

I could certainly go on. And perhaps I will in a future post. Have you read any of these? I’d love to hear what books you can’t stop recommending.

Photo by Kari Shea on Unsplash

Lessons from a Road Trip

We recently went on a family road trip covering several thousand miles round trip. To say we spent a lot of time in the car together is an understatement! This was our first time undertaking a cross-country trip like this and, while we had fun and made lots of memories, we also learned many things! Here are a few tips that kept us going.

— Use your library ebook borrowing. Before the trip, I downloaded the library borrowing app to each of the kids’ tablets. Then they picked a few ebooks and audiobooks. It saved a lot of space to not have a box of actual books traveling with us!

— Check into free trial subscriptions. We knew we wouldn’t always have internet so I used a free trial of Spotify to download some ad free music to my phone. I could then connect it to the van’s system via Bluetooth. I also tried a free subscription to Scribd, which has ebooks, magazines, audiobooks, and more. It was great to have options not available at my library and it encouraged me to read more because I wanted to finish before the 30 days were up!

— Take snacks…but ration them. We bought lots of special snacks for this big trip. But my kids could have eaten them all in one day! So I packed most of them in a box in the trunk and kept just a sampling closer to me. When someone asked for a snack, I reminded them there were only so many within reach and when they were gone, no more snacks for the day.

— We only ate out for dinners. This was a huge money saver. We made sure to stay at hotels that served a breakfast and we had a cooler with sandwich fixings, crackers and peanut butter, and veggies for lunch. We would stop around noon and fill up with gas then locate a nearby park using Google and enjoy a picnic lunch. It gave the kids a chance to run and play before sitting in the car again and we found some neat parks in small towns across the US!

— Be flexible. We had a few hiccups on the trip but nothing major. Instead of stressing and allowing it to derail our attitudes, we adjusted and kept going! We ended up spending a day at the Indianapolis Children’s Museum that we hadn’t planned on and getting to one of the hotels a little earlier another day to allow for extra swim time in the pool.

— Pack surprises. Prior to the trip, I ordered sticker books, sticker mosaics, hand held {non electronic} games, coloring books, and quiet fidgets. I didn’t show them to the kids and wrapped each one, marking it as a shared present for all three or with their initials. Each day when we set out from the hotel, they could choose a present to open and enjoy.

— Limit screens. While the kids did have their tablets, we limited the time they could use them each day. Tommy had downloaded some movies to our Cloud but he only put one movie a day on their individual tablets. They also had a few games that didn’t require Internet. For the first stretch of the morning and for awhile after lunch, it was no tablets. They could sleep, look out the window, or do an activity they’d opened from me. Part of the afternoon was for audiobooks. It worked very well.

— Don’t think you can’t. I get it. With kids, car rides can seem very daunting. Everyone in a confined space for hours on end? Yikes! But if you prepare a little and keep a positive attitude, it can be a fun trip for the whole family. In fact, as we were on our final stretch home, having spent 65+ hours in the car in 13 days, our youngest said, “When are we doing a big trip in the car again?”

We are so privileged in America to be able to drive on good roads that get us to any part of our country! And what a variety of landscapes we have! We saw high desert, open farmland, lush treefilled scapes, miles and miles of flat land, rolling hills, big cities, small towns, mountains, mist covered hills, and windy roads. The planning, the hours, the miles we sat; it was all worth it and filled with memories for our family.

Photo by Derek Story on Unsplash

Favorites of 2022!

I love looking back at things. Reflecting and remembering are such important actions. We can’t measure growth or analyze what is working and not working without taking the times to look back.

This year felt slightly different to me for several reasons. As my children continue to get older {which is sad but exciting at the same time}, I found myself passing off chores and tasks that used to be too hard for them. Suddenly, I had more help in the kitchen, cleaning, folding and putting away laundry. It’s a fun stage to arrive at. My kids are also becoming better at amusing themselves. While we still do school, play games, etc. together, they are also content building Legos, crafting, imagining, and reading without me. These two changes have afforded me more free time in pursuit of new hobbies. I was able to practice watercolors, doodle, read, write, and work in the garden.

The reason I mention the two things above is because these shifts allowed me to enjoy some of the things I’ll get into in a minute. Stages of life change and this year I could definitely feel that difference. In previous years, I was not able to read as much, try new interests, get my plans finished. My family took more time and energy, which was fine because that’s what was needed in that season of younger, needy kids. As we’ve moved beyond that stage, I am able to pass some responsibility to them.

There is no portion of life that {I believe} is better than another. Every stage has challenges, joys, disappointments, frustrations, fun, excitement. The freedom of more time in my current stage means, yes, more time to do things I enjoy! But I also have to manage that time well, my children are maturing and that brings needed deep, meaningful conversations about life and guiding them in a difficult world.

So as I look back on the highlights of 2022 and what I enjoyed, I wanted to bring together a list of a few favorites that maybe will benefit you this next year for whatever stage you find yourself.

Podcasts

I’m not a huge listener of podcasts. It’s very hard to focus my attention on just audio unless it’s music. But when I’m folding laundry, doing my makeup/hair, fixing dinner, I sometimes turn on a podcast and these are some of my favorites.

• Why or Why Not with the Watsons - These conversations between Benjamin and Kirsten are always interesting and fun. And I like the practical ways they blend biblical wisdom into their daily lives.

• Based on a True Story - I find this fascinating. The host takes a Hollywood movie “based on” some historical story/event and interviews an expert on what they got right and what they got wrong in the movie.

• Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - If I have a little more time, I’ll find one of her episodes about a current day issue. I enjoy that she is factual and biblically sound in her advice without being rude or obnoxious.

• The Bible Recap - I listened to this {and also read the corresponding book} after my daily Bible reading to get the host’s breakdown of that day’s reading. Very helpful.

Books

It’s always extremely hard to pick favorite books for me! And I read a dozen more than in previous years. You can read this post about some of my favorites in 2022 but a few honorable mentions are:

• M is for Mama - So encouraging and helpful.

• Hill House Living - I loved seeing her English home through the seasons and finding ideas for decorating and making a house more homey.

• A Visual Guide to the Bible - Not really a book you sit and read; more like a reference and resource to pull out when you have a question. Because I’m a visual learner, the charts and graphics in this book are so helpful for me.

• The Diamond Eye - This historical fiction was fascinating. Based on a real Russian {actually she was Ukrainian} woman sniper during World War 2 who later came to America and met Eleanor Roosevelt! Amazing story, some objectionable language/elements.

• Our Castle by the Sea - A YA novel about a seaside village in England before, during, and after Dunkirk. Themes of bravery, loyalty, who we trust.

movies

I don’t watch a lot of movies or TV. I usually have other things I want to spend my time on. But sometimes it’s nice to sit and enjoy a visual story and be transported away! Also great to have on while working a puzzle! These aren’t new movies; frankly I can’t think of anything new I want to waste time on. But these are some favorites I don’t mind watching again and again.

• Any black and white movie with Cary Grant, Fred Astaire, Katherine Hepburn, etc. I grew up watching these and we still quote them! Musicals, comedies…I am here for it!

• 1917 - This movie makes you feel like you are in the middle on World War 1. Shot in a unique way, you travel with two soldiers on a mission to save 1600 lives. I jumped at a few places that surprised me and shed a few tears at the ending. Caution: war violence.

• Sense and Sensibility - One of my favorite Jane Austen books and the movie {1995 version} captures it so well. I love the music, characters, settings. It’s beautiful.

• Planet Earth/Blue Planet - We love watching these {and their sequels} as a family. The cinematography and music are incredible. And, for a secular nature show, there isn’t an overwhelming amount of evolution — but my kids call it out when it’s presented! I love sitting back and marveling at God’s creation.

newsletters

This might seem like an odd category but I have found several newsletters that have been interesting, good sources of information. These are all free to sign up for!

• Glenna Marshall’s monthly newsletter - Marshall is the author of one of my favorite reads of 2020 and her newsletters are filled with encouragement, recipes, book reviews, and other good things.

• The Pour Over - This Christian worldview news email has been helpful as I try to stay current with events but don’t want mainstream media bias or information overload. Emails arrive Monday, Wednesday, Friday and give a brief rundown of what is happening with links if you want to read more.

• The Cultural Tutor - I stumbled on this on Twitter and have found the weekly emails extremely interesting. Every Friday, the Tutor presents one of each example of seven pillars of classical culture: music, art, historical figure, architecture, rhetoric, writing, and The Seventh Plinth (which is usually something comical from history). It’s a good introduction to a variety of topics and would be great for high schoolers to add to their curriculum.

youtube

Like any type of social media, YouTube is a hole that’s easy to fall down and easier to get lost in! Here are the channels I keep going back to!

• Watercolor - This topic is the majority of my feed! It’s so tempting to get sucked into all the tutorials available with gorgeous paintings to try. But what I’ve found most helpful are the simple, basic channels that talk me through each step and color. My favorites: Shayda Campbell, Kristin Van Leuven, Ellen Crimi-Trent, and Emma Jane Lefebvre.

• Royal Fashion News - I have enjoyed getting to know more about some of Europe’s royal families and this channel indulges my favorite part: the clothes and jewelry! I’ll be honest, I was the little girl who wanted to be a princess when I grew up so watching actual royal ladies dress up and act elegant is my cup of tea! My favorites are Catherine, the Princess of Wales and Mary, the Crown Princess of Denmark.

• Suibhne and Absolute History - The first channel gives brief, animated histories of all different countries. We’ve watched a few for school and they give a nice overview. The second channel is more documentary style learning.

• The Waldock Way - This is a homeschool mom who gives book and game reviews. I’ve found some interesting things I wouldn’t have heard of otherwise through her channel.

Music

The last section is music. I listen to a variety of styles but I’m a little particular. I don’t listen to what most people consider popular music and I’m not sorry about it! But here are the things I turned on again and again in 2022. Note: I didn’t link any of these songs/singers because I can’t link to every streaming service you might be using. But they should all be available and easy to find wherever you listen to music!

• Togo soundtrack - I love this movie also {unfortunately it’s only on Disney+} but it’s perfect for reading background music on a snowy day.

• Michael Buble, Josh Groban, Matteo Bocelli - When my kids turn on music, it’ll probably be one of these guys! Our favorite dinner prep music!

• Hide ‘em in Your Heart by Steve Green - I listened to these when I was young and it’s a joy to sing them with my kids. Bible verses set to music make it so much easier to memorize! These songs are singable and memorable with words straight out of the Bible. The other day, one of my kids read the reference Romans 8:28 and another of my kids started singing the song!

• CityAlight - Not all their songs are my favorite but “Only a Holy God” “The Night Song” and “Jesus, Strong and Kind” are hummed, sung, and listened to on repeat over here.

This is definitely not exhaustive but I hope it gives you a few new things to read, try, watch, listen to, and enjoy in 2023! I would love to read some of your favorites in the comments!

Photo by Zoritza Valova on Unsplash

Best Books of 2022

It’s no secret that I love books and I love reading. I participate in the GoodReads Reading Challenge every year. Each year I type in how many books I believe I will read over the next 365 days. Most years I haven’t quite met my goal but this year I was able to get over 50 books completed!

It’s always difficult for me to choose a favorite…it’s kind of like choosing a favorite child. But there were a few reads that stood out to me for various reasons and I’ve given a brief review below of some of my favorites. I grouped them into categories {children’s/young adult, non-fiction, fiction}.

Just a quick note: I do read some difficult topics. Books that end sad don’t bother me as long as the ending makes sense with the story/plot/character development. I also like reading about lesser-known parts of history and history is rarely flowers and butterflies. I try to avoid books with graphic scenes of sex, violence, or loads of bad language. I don’t finish all the books I start, especially if I get into it and it’s wildly inappropriate. All that to say, I don’t endorse everything in the books listed below or agree with the worldview presented. But I believe it’s important and can be helpful to read things you don’t completely agree with and to work out for yourself what the problem is. It’s helped me to see what a difference a Christian worldview makes in every corner of our lives.

Children’s/Young Adult

“A Place to Hang the Moon” by Kate Albus
Three siblings, who recently lost their grandmother and guardian, are evacuated to the country before the London blitz. They hope to find a “forever” home, the type of belonging they’ve read about it their favorite books. But the families who take them in have other ideas. From bullying children to uncaring adults, the children find refuge at the village library and with the librarian who is an outcast for her own reasons. Together, the children and the librarian learn valuable lessons about family, courage, and the power of reading. My 11 year old and I loved this book. I might have teared up at the end. This would also be a good read aloud.

“The Swallow’s Flight” by Hilary McKay
In a story that spans countries and years, we are introduced to four children and one dog. How their stories weave together is a beautiful picture of not judging based on appearances, the power of showing kindness to all, holding friends tight, and not giving up in the face of evil. This is another book I read with my 11 year old and I think she liked it more than the previous book. She went on to read several other books by the same author that I never got around to. This is another World War 2 story from England and Germany.

“The Adventures of Miss Petitfour” by Anne Michaels, ill. by Emma Block
Miss Petitfour lives in a small fictional village in England with her 16 cats. Her favorite thing is adventuring by grabbing a tablecloth at the corners and letting the wind take her and her cats away! Each of the chapters is a different adventure filled with unexpected characters. Each cat has its own personality and contributes to the stories in different ways. There are also many new vocabulary words {think like Fancy Nancy and her fancy words}. I laughed out loud reading this to my kids. It’s fanciful and fun. The watercolor illustrations are delightful and add to the whimsy of the stories.

Good Dog series by Cam Higgins, ill. by Ariel Landy
My eight year old has recently started doing more independent reading and this series is one of his favorites. It is a beginner chapter book series about a dog on a farm who has adventures with all the different barnyard animals. There are themes of friendship, courage, humility, and thinking of others. So far, my son has read the first five out loud to me and he’s requested we buy the rest of the series.

Non-Fiction

“Remember” by Lisa Genova
Why do we forget things? Why are other things permanently cemented in our minds? Genova is known for her novels about neurological issues but in this non-fiction book, she writes in layman’s terms what our brain is doing, the different types of things we remember, and why there are some things we can’t forget. For being a book about a technical thing {memory}, it’s incredibly easy to read and understand. Genova writes in a novel-type style and slowly explains the ins and outs of her subject in fascinating detail without losing her readers in the bushes. Highly recommend!

“Cultural Counterfeits” by Jen Oshman
I read this because I often feel at a loss with how to talk about current cultural issues that affect women. Oshman breaks down how we got here, why each issue is important to be educated on, and gives loving yet biblically sound advice. She admits from the beginning that she struggled with wanting to write this book because she knew it would have a lot of hard truth; that people she knew would disagree with her. But I’m so glad she pressed on and faithfully studied what the Bible teaches on these issues and presents them with clarity.

“Find the Good” by Heather Lende
Lende is a small town obituary writer for the local paper and this short book takes some of the people she’s met, people she’s remembered in print, and the lessons she’s learned from a life of reflecting on the ups and downs of others’ lives. This is not a Christian book and some of the author’s beliefs or observations I was not in agreement with but I did smile and nod a few times, as she recounts the value each life has, the memories tied to a place or time, and how that can continue to shape who we become.

Adult Fiction

“The Last Year of the War” by Susan Meissner
Did you know German immigrants who were “red flagged” in America during World War 2 were sent to detention camps with the Japanese and some of them were deported back to Germany? I had no idea! Again, those little known fascinating historical facts! This book follows a girl whose parents immigrated to America in the 1920s but never became citizens. After a series of events her father wishes he could change, the family is sent to Texas where she meets a Japanese girl, born in America like her, and wondering when life will return to normal. Unfortunately, her family is sent back to Germany — a place she’s never been, surrounded by a language she doesn’t know — during the final year of the war. The course of her life is forever changed as she wonders about her friend, suffers through bombings and loss, and ultimately does whatever she believes will get her home to America. I was so moved by and wrapped into this story. Meissner is a master at first person writing and historical detail. I was invested from the beginning to the end.

“Salt to the Sea” by Ruta Sepetys
Have the tissues handy! This story takes place toward the end of World War 2 as Eastern Europeans are fleeing toward Germany to avoid the Soviets. Several stories weave together and the histories of the characters are gradually revealed through the journey towards the sea. The fact that this historical tragedy was covered up, ignored, forgotten for so many years is heartrending. I don’t want to give away spoilers but honestly, I couldn’t put this book down. It’s technically classified as a young adult historical fiction but it has some dark themes that I would suggest for older more mature readers. If you want something with the same gasp factor that’s not WW2, check out “I Must Betray You” by the same author. This story dives into Romania just before the revolution of 1989, a country that was never part of the Soviet Union but whose people were ruled by terror, surveillance, and control.

I could go on and on but these were my favorites from this year. If you want to see my full list of what I read in 2022 — or all 1,000+ books I’ve read since joining GoodReads, check out my profile. I don’t always give long written reviews unless I really loved it or there was something that bothered me or I need to explain my ranking. Happy reading in 2023!

Photo by Javier Martinez on Unsplash

The Growing Need for Patience

Patience, waiting, slowing down. All concepts that seem foreign to our day and age.

Everything is about instant gratification, from movies on demand to music downloads in seconds. We want what we want NOW! In fact if our computer is a little slower than normal at powering up or the Internet has to search for content, we grow frustrated and either complain or abandon the project. I’ve even seen a commercial that was advertising our impatience as a society to promote their product.

Unfortunately, impatience is not a virtue. As usual, the nature that comes to us easily is the one we need to fight against. I'm as guilty as the next person when it comes to impatience. But our lives are surrounded in the necessity to stop and wait. And it's good for us to not have everything we want instantly. It makes us realize we aren't in control, that we need to work and achieve goals over time.

I have recently been convicted that I need to pray for patience. I can't just decide to wait and the struggle is over. I have to continually be seeking God's timing and will and waiting for Him to reveal what He has for me. I know what I want Him to do but it's not up to me. I think we can all remember a time in our lives when we seemed to wait forever before we saw God's leading but now looking back, we realize the timing was perfect and we would have messed it up had we charged through with our plans.

As we get closer to the new year, I've been thinking of things I want to do differently and trying to adopt good habits now to carry over. Prov. 3:5-7 doesn't necessarily say "wait" but it does talk about trust and God guiding our steps.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.

We often forget verse 7 but it’s an important reminder. If we are thinking too highly of ourselves or of our ability to control a situation, we will struggle to demonstrate patience. Gardening has been a wonderful way to help me “grow” {wink, wink} in patience.

Toward the middle of spring, Tommy borrowed a tiller and over turned a section of grass in our yard. He added a metal border to set the boundary and I got on my hands and knees, filling wheelbarrows full of grass chunks that I couldn’t breakdown. I hoed the dirt, leveled it off, and started sprinkling seeds.

I had no reason or pattern to my scattering. I just wanted flowers to fill every corner. I gave the dirt and seeds a gentle sprinkle of water. Each day I wandered out and gazed at my patch of dirt. It wasn’t long before I saw a sprout but it was a weed! Pluck, out it came!

But slowly, gradually, I saw shoots that I recognized as the stalk of a zinnia or cosmos. And they slowly got taller. They gently held up buds waiting to blossom. Finally, at the end of the summer, my little corner garden was one wild expanse of color! But it took patience. And in the waiting I still needed to water the sprouts, I pulled out the weeds, I dug out the grass that slipped under the metal border.

Was it worth it? Definitely! Am I dreaming about next year’s flowers? Absolutely!

Waiting isn’t easy. It’s not a skill that is learned once and never revisited. But it is worth it.

Photo by Daniel Oberg on Unsplash

The Joy of a Garden

I am not an avid gardener.

I know people who live and breathe plants. They know flower varieties by sight, the best things to plant in their growing zone, which vegetables prefer which soil, research and read, begin preparation months before the planting. They are true plant people. And I respect them and their acquired wisdom on all things green.

I am more of a flower gardener than a food gardener. I love the beauty of bursting blooms more than the practicality of growing useful food. But even then, I base what I grow on looks, ease of planting and upkeep, and if it’s an annual or perennial. These are my determining factors in what I will spend my time growing.

For example. after reading Floret Flowers book on dahlias, I was in love…until I tried growing them. The few tubers I put in that spring did fabulous; they produced huge, gorgeous blooms. But in my zone, it was recommended that I dig up the tubers and store them, covered in dirt, in a place that wouldn’t reach freezing or in a fridge. Then in the spring, I would need to replant the tubers, hoping they didn’t rot over the winter, and restart the process in the fall. Dahlias suddenly became the divas of my garden.

I gave it a try, carefully digging up the tubers, reading how deep and what kind of pot to keep them happy in over winter, storing them in my garage, and crossing my fingers for spring. None of them made it. That spring, I retrieved my precious tubers to find them shriveled. I planted them with wishful thinking but of course nothing happened. No beautiful blooms. All my efforts were wasted.

I made the decision to not try again, which some may think is giving up too soon, but I figured there were plenty of other flowers to set my attention to. Cosmos and zinnias were my next efforts. I once again was extremely pleased with the beauty and abundance of the seeds I scattered that quickly took root and sprouted. I was even more pleased the next year when cosmos shot up on their own, no effort from me required.

You see, as much as I love gardening, I love low maintenance gardening. The bursts of color, the unique petals and blooms, the joy of watching plants sprout higher, higher, and then budding and flourishing. I love it. But not enough to plant diva dahlias and pour time and money into flowers that don’t appreciate the effort. {I kid, but you get the point.}

Whatever type of gardener you are — flower, vegetable, high maintenance, low maintenance, the enjoy other people’s gardens gardener — I hope you spend time marveling at creation. I can’t walk outside and see a flower without noting the variations God put in place. Even within a flower “kind” like roses; so many colors, petal types, even the smells differ. I may be a low maintenance, keep it simple gardener, but I still enjoy the beauty God has made and the small part I can take in cultivating some of that beauty.

Consider these words from Psalm 8:

1 O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth! You have set your glory above the heavens.

2 Out of the mouth of babies and infants, you have established strength because of your foes, to still the enemy and the avenger.

3 When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,

4 what is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him?

5 Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.

6 You have given him dominion over the works of your hands; you have put all things under his feet,

7 all sheep and oxen, and also the beasts of the field,

8 the birds of the heavens, and the fish of the sea, whatever passes along the paths of the seas.

9 O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

Photo by Amber Malquist on Unsplash

Reading Time!

If you know me even the slightest bit, you know I love reading. I love books. I love words and how they come together to make people laugh, cry, think, learn, and experience new things.

The power of the written word is something I think some people underestimate. This might just be me — because I’ve been told I remember way too many things — but I remember sitting on my daybed with a stack of Nancy Drew books and not moving all afternoon. I remember carrying Gone with the Wind outside and sitting under the apple tree for hours reading. I got through the first semester of high school by devouring The Count of Monte Cristo on the wooden swing in our backyard. And I stayed up way too late one night to finish Crime and Punishment as a high school senior.

I have very vivid memories tied to when and where I read certain books. I remember the emotions I felt, the parts that confused me, the French and Russian names I stumbled over. Words and the ideas conveyed through those words have changed and shaped me in ways movies haven’t.

My oldest is ten years old and just as avid a reader as I was/am. She’s definitely stretched herself more than I did at her age; she’s already polished off all the Jane Austen novels, A Little Princess, and is currently deep in Anne of Green Gables, plus reading quite of stack of more recently written books. She set a goal of reading 25 books this year…she just finished her 24th so we’re upping the challenge to 50 books this year!!

I love talking about books with her; what she thought of them, her favorite parts and why, words she didn’t understand in context. I love seeing her mind grow through these book interactions and I’m enjoying the journey with her.

People often ask me how I continue, as a homeschooling mom, to read book after book. It’s not because I’m just sitting on the couch all day! But it is a priority for me. While others binge watch a show, I choose to read. Instead of shopping, I read. It’s not a magic formula. It’s an intentional choice to make time for reading when what I need to do is finished. It’s relaxing and enjoyable for me. Here are a few things that help me, maybe they’ll help you also.

1. Read in the small moments. I’ve said this before, but if I’m just stirring something for dinner in a pot, I will read while I do it! Now if I’m doing something that requires my attention {chopping, measuring, etc.} then I keep my focus on the cooking. But if I’m waiting for rice to finish cooking or the InstantPot to beep, chances are I’ll sneak a few pages in.

2. Read while the kids fall asleep. My younger kids are notorious for not wanting to be alone. They want to know I’m close by, not across the hall, but in their room while they fall asleep. So after I read a bedtime story aloud {I’m currently reading Bear Grylls survival series to my son}, I’ll sit on the floor and get some stretches in while I read. This time is golden. It helps me slow down before bed, the house is quiet, and I can fully focus on what I’m reading.

3. Read during the kids’ activities. When I sit with my children for their piano lesson, I take a book with me. I can still hear what’s going, what we need to work on at home, interact with the teacher as needed, but I’m using the other moments in that hour to read, not scroll my phone.

4. Read, don’t scroll! Which leads us to this point: when you find yourself reaching for your phone when you don’t really need to, pick up a book instead! If you sit in carline, at the sideline of soccer practice, waiting for your curbside grocery delivery, take a book with you. These are moments we have trained ourselves to think of as small, inconsequential blocks of time that aren’t good for anything but catching up on memes and Instagram. I get it. I’ve done it. But honestly, you can read a lot in those moments. If that means you keep one book in your car so you don’t have to remember to grab one, do it!

5. Read what you love. If you struggle to read, start with something that interests you. Whenever I read a historical novel, I will inevitably read a non fiction book about that time period/event after. Even if it’s something I hadn’t been interested in before, experiencing it through the eyes of a novel with characters and a story can make it intriguing enough to make me want more. This happened with the children’s blizzard, the depression, the Spanish flu, immigrants coming through Ellis Island, and the Revolutionary War. I read a novel, my interest was piqued, and I went in search of more.

6. Read a variety. I’m a read-more-than-one-book-at-a-time girl. I usually have a fiction, nonfiction, Christian living, light read, and maybe biography going at the same time. This way, no matter what my mood is, I have something to read!! Some days, if the bad news comes pouring in and the weight of the world is too much, I don’t want to read about the suffering of child laborers in Victorian England, no matter how interesting the story is. On those days, I want a book that encourages me and helps me dig into my Bible study more. If my kids have asked about a certain time period, I may feel like reading about it on my level. If I’ve been curious about how to organize, clean, or decorate my home, if I’m interested in pursuing a new hobby, if I’m studying a certain word or topic in the Bible. There are books and words and answers for all these. And I always have a selection on hand.

I hope this helps you look for the little moments in your day as new possibilities to enjoy a book. I didn’t even cover audiobooks {I really struggle with these because I like to see the words to fully focus on them} but I know people who listen while they drive to work or on errands, while they walk through the neighborhood, or while cleaning the house. If you have a hard time reading but not listening, I highly suggest looking into audiobooks. Most books are available this way now and many libraries offer them for free, either on CD or to download to an audio app.

We never stop learning and books are an excellent way to stretch the mind. If you’re interested in what I’ve read/am reading, check out my GoodReads profile and follow along! You can see all the books {read and want to read} in reverse alphabetical order by author or you can look under certain bookshelves to see what I’ve read/want to read in that category!

Photo by Vladimir Mokry on Unsplash

A Happy New Year!

We are almost finished with 2021!

This week, I’ve been looking back at things I learned, read, tried, and failed at. I’ve also been anticipating everything 2022 might hold. Even though change is not my favorite, there is a special excitement going into the new year.

I’ve been planning my Bible reading schedule, setting up my planner, and trying to organize the house from the Christmas chaos. Today the decorations will start to come down and I’ll get my kids on dusting/vacuuming duty!

Whenever I look ahead to January and beyond, I try to think back over the previous year. How did I struggle? Where did my habits falter? How can I keep from making the same mistakes again? The Bible has many passages about Israel remembering their past. They were to look back and reflect on what God had done for them, how he had shown himself and protected them. And that looking back was to give them hope and courage for how he would continue to work in the future.

Of course, we see Israel struggling with this but it’s a theme we read again and again… “Remember how God brought you out of Egypt” “Remember when God provided manna in the wilderness” “Remember when God delivered you by parting the Red Sea”….

Our moments of protection might not be so dramatic but God certainly brings us through many trials, joys, hardships, and changes. And just as Israel was reminded to look back, we need to also. With the remembering, I hope we can also evaluate what we need to adapt going into 2022. Not everything worked or went well in 2021; maybe some bad habits were fostered and good practices lost. Each of us — with prayer and not pride — needs to honestly look back and decide what to keep and what to loose from 2021.

I created a simple printable for you to download and print off as a reminder of 5 small ways to make 2022 better. These are simple suggestions but they will take effort, time, and a decision to put them into practice. If you think of other things to add, I’d love to hear! Click the button below to access the printable! And thanks for reading in 2021.

Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness! Psalm 115:1

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Christmas Joy

It's December! 

My children have been eagerly eating their way through their advent calendars and counting down the days. 

I've gotten all the shopping done and planned the baking. 

In some ways, it's easy to be joyful as Christmas approaches. All the memories and fun we just do once a year, watching my kids exclaim with excitement over decorations and lights and extra candy. Thinking about the surprises waiting, wrapped under the tree.

But there's also a lingering sadness. Another year almost gone. Missing loved ones who have passed. Watching the world celebrate Christmas but missing the real meaning. 

Is it possible for joy and sorrow to merge? Can we mourn the difficulties of the year yet still feel joy at what's around? 

These emotions are not exclusive from each other. Though opposites, we can express both feelings. Think of the first Christmas. Joy that the savior was born, sorrow that he was born to die. Joy for God's fulfilled promise, sorrow that he would be rejected. 

In a broken world, we will live with the pull between these. 

And in a way, that tension is because of us. We needed a Savior because sin couldn't be overcome by us. We sometimes sing "Love came down on Christmas day" but it was joy also. The shepherds displayed joy and excitement even though they didn't fully comprehend what that baby meant. But the reason Jesus was born was sorrowful; he needed to die in our place so we could enjoy eternal life with God.

Instead of trying to ignore one emotion and amplify the other, both can be experienced this season. Family and friends who aren't here to celebrate can be remembered and mourned while rejoicing that the birth of Jesus was a step toward death being forever conquered.

We have joy in annual traditions and looking ahead to a new year while regretting parts of the past year. 

This tension is part of life in a world tainted by sin. But it doesn't make the miracle of Christ's birth less wondrous, less important, or something to pass by. Joy and sorrow meet, in a manger and then at the cross.

Photo by Mel Poole on Unsplash.

Thanksgiving

It’s the week of Thanksgiving, one of my favorite times of year.

I love the food, traditions, moments of reflection, colors, decor. It’s a wonderful blend of family and friends coming together to celebrate and remember.

I always try to have an activity or craft for the kids that focuses on what they are thankful for. It’s true that once you start listing things, it’s difficult to find a stopping point! We have so many blessings, big and small, that should be remembered and rejoiced in.

For kids especially, these “I’m thankful for…” lists usually amount to their favorites. Favorite food, animals, things. It becomes a “My Favorites” list, which isn’t a bad thing; you can be thankful for your favorite things. But I was thinking, are we ever thankful for things that aren’t in that favorites list?

It’s an easy practice to think about what we love, what was fun, what went well and be thankful. But have you ever looked over the year and reflected on how the hard, difficult times and decisions changed you? I’m not saying you have to be thankful for the actual hard things themselves: illness, pain, loss, strain, etc. It might be difficult or impossible to truthfully say we are thankful for those things in our lives and situations. But maybe while walking through a hardship, you learned something about God, you found yourself focused on a certain attribute of his you’d overlooked, you memorized a Psalm that took on new meaning or significance. These are the things we can be thankful for, even after a difficult year {or two!}.

When I look back on 2021, I see a lot that frustrated me and discouraged me but I also have some wonderful memories with my family, I saw God provide financially, I grew deeper in some friendships, and learned more about empathy with others. I came to the end of my strength while dealing with constant pain and was reminded I have nothing under control, but God does.

So as you enter Thanksgiving and hopefully have time to reflect on 2021, don’t be afraid to give more than surface thanks {food, shelter, friends, etc.}. Think and pray about how God has used the good and discouraging of this year to draw you closer to himself.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Good for the Wrong Reasons

It came out of nowhere. We were in the frozen foods section at Sam’s Club, my youngest child in the cart and my oldest two standing next to me while my husband decided what sausage to buy. I vaguely noticed the lady with two very rowdy children across the aisle when suddenly I heard her exclaim, “Look at those children over there! They are waiting quietly and patiently. Just be like them!”

And then it happened. My mind flew in a dangerous direction. “Yes,” I thought, “Look at how well my kids are behaving. They would never dream of jumping into the freezer and banging on the door. I can’t believe what some kids get away with.”

Of course, two aisles later my daughter was crying that she was hungry and wouldn’t make it to the car. I pushed the cart faster in an effort to depart the store before anyone noticed her cries.

Pride is an easy trap to fall into. And motherhood brings it out in a whole new way. Suddenly, we feel people measuring us not just on our own merits but also on our children. We believe how they behave is a direct reflection of our parenting. We know from the glances, the headshakes, the raised eyebrows that people are watching our children’s tantrums and the god of self raises its ugly head. We know what they’re thinking about us because we’ve probably thought the same about another mom. 

Pride has been a problem since Satan decided he wanted to be like God. We know the definition of what pride is but we rarely stop and consider what place and appearance it has in our lives as mothers. And while there is a pride in mothering that is good - like celebrating the hard work and accomplishments of our child - unbiblical pride often takes the form of us trying to look better through our children. And in the process demanding behavior from them merely for looks.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). When we tell our children to “be good because you're embarrassing me” but offer no lasting reason for the behavior, we aren't really thinking of teaching them. And we certainly aren’t being humble or considering our children’s spiritual growth. We want the results without putting in the teaching time. It is merely pride in how our children appear and selfish motives that drive us. We should instead desire our children to have good attitudes and behavior because it is glorifying to God. 

Here is another verse that often convicts my heart. “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10). Considering our motives for why we expect certain behaviors is a great heart check. Are we trying to grow our children in the Lord or looking for outward proof that they listen to us?

Wanting kind, polite, well behaved children is not sinful. But when we elevate and expect that behavior for the wrong reasons, we are treading in dangerous waters. As mothers, we have the biggest responsibility and opportunity to train our children. We can teach them biblical obedience through loving and serving God or a works-based merit system where they obey us and behave because that's what we demand. We might get the results we want short term but without God working in the hearts and lives of our children, we do them no favors for the long term.

I'm not suggesting that we shrug off and make excuses for tantrums or that we go through life not caring if our children are the neighborhood terrors. But when we see these attitudes emerging, whether in the aisles of a store with an audience or in the privacy of our home, we need to use more than demands for better behavior or listing comparison children.

We need to remind them and ourselves that we are sinful, we need forgiveness and grace, and God provides both. Instead of putting our children on a pedestal because they've never cried over unbought cookies at the store, we need to humbly acknowledge that they are still sinful - maybe just in less public ways.

So how do we encourage good behavior without making it all about good behavior? It begins with the beauty of the gospel. Romans 3:23 says “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” I like to remind my kids that all means all meaning everyone. As painful as it is, my children know I'm a sinner and they know they are too. The beauty of this is that when I talk about Jesus saving my sins and forgiving me and the Holy Spirit helping me make good choices, they know the same freedom is available to them. They know they'll mess up, but they also know they will be forgiven.

 They know I don't expect perfection, but they also know why I ask for good attitudes and behaviors.

It's not because I want perfect children to show off at Sam's Club. It's because I want my children to willingly serve God.

It's not wrong to want our children to behave or to expect a certain behavior in certain situations. But when how our children behave becomes a matter of pride to us, we have an issue.

As a parent, our ultimate goal should not be to raise perfect children or children who believe they are perfect. Our goal is to train them to glorify God and to serve him. Whatever embarrassment our children sometimes cause should not be the primary goal in addressing our children's bad behavior. Teaching our children that they are sinners in need of a savior is important in shaping their overall care.

Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash