The Value of Children

As the year comes to a close, I like to look back and consider things I learned, what stood out as important, and use it as a framework for the coming year. Two things stood out to me in 2024; I’ll address one here and one in this post.

A theme culturally in 2024 that struck me was children. Slowly but surely the dialogue about and the treatment of children is becoming hostile. Starting with abortion and throughout childhood, children are being targeted in so many ways, and sometimes by those who should be protecting them: their own parents.

When we talk about protecting children, we automatically think of their physical safety. With the acceptance of abortion and the trans movement, along with people turning a blind eye to human trafficking, considering the literal, physical safety of children is indeed important.

But we often shove a facet of caring for children aside. That is their value and emotional health. I’m afraid the worldly, everyone’s a winner mentality has caused many Christians to shift to the other extreme of just grow up and get over it. I believe there is a balance to be had.

We can encourage and cheer on our children, be proud of their efforts and accomplishments, and let them know they matter to God without making an idol of them. We were all children at one point and I think we can all remember a time we were bullied, made fun of, embarrassed, etc. and we shouldn’t purposefully do those things to our children as payback for our own experiences.

I saw a disturbing trend on social media that was labeled as “Watch my child react while I…” and the videos were parents filming themselves cracking eggs on kids’ heads, throwing flour at them, lying about going to Disneyland and recording how their children reacted for the purpose of posting on social media and getting likes. These are the same parents who no doubt will complain that their kids no longer speak to them once they reach High School.

If we want good relationships with our teen/adult children, we need to cultivate that in our toddler/elementary age children. This means not purposefully embarrassing them, making fun of them, posting their failures. We need to remember that those toddlers will grow up and they will use how they were treated as a guide for how to treat others.

Those of us posting as parents now didn’t grow up with parents on social media. Imagine your parents filming your disappointments, chronicling your attitude issues for a host of strangers online.

Another disturbing trend is the crashing birth rate, not only in the US but throughout Europe as well. I acknowledge that some couples want children and physical reasons keep them childless. But the majority of young people today are choosing to not have children for financial, selfish, and career pursuits. Children are no longer a joy; they are an inconvenience, an obstacle to getting more from life.

But I argue that there is a certain joy found only in children. Watching children learn new skills, try hard things, enjoy creation. One of the things that brings tears to my eyes the most is watching my children take in new experiences. Laughing, exploring, learning, seeing the world through their perspective and innocence.

Children should be treasured and wanted, at every age.

Photo by Josue Michel on Unsplash

Homeschool Update

It’s been awhile since I’ve talked about our homeschool year! Here’s a brief update on all things school.

1. My oldest was struggling with history. She loves to read and usually loves history but as this was more of a review year for her with our current curriculum, she was getting bored. She’s done small portions of American history for the last four years and this year was one big overview. I don’t think it’s possible to know/remember everything you’ve learned over the years but when I would talk with her, she clearly knew the big events, people, and time periods and was simply bored. I’ve NEVER switched curriculum in the middle of the year but I felt it necessary to keep her interest engaged. So she started reading A Child’s Geography on the Holy Land. It combines geographical, historical, and cultural information with lots of colorful pictures. She’s enjoyed it much more and it started the ball rolling for world history, which she’ll begin next year.

2. My second grader is loving Handwriting Without Tears…as much as a boy who doesn’t love writing can! This has been a great program for him; it combines learning and practicing separate letters with writing them in words. He’s almost finished with his current book and ready to move on to pre-cursive.

3. The big win for our preschooler has been UsBourne Wipe Clean books and activity books. She loves them and with the Wipe Clean, I’m amazed how she happily does the same activities over and over. She does need help reading the pages to know what to do/look for in the activity book but I can easily step away from the older kids, tell her what to do on those pages, and she completes them on her own.

4. I recently bought this book and we’ve enjoyed reading the entry for the day. It’s opened some questions about different people, events, inventions and so far we haven’t come across anything not appropriate for kids. We also read a nature poem a day from this book and the older kids have started taking turns reading them aloud. I think reading poems aloud is such a great skill to have!

   That about sums it up! This year has gone fairly smoothly and I can’t believe we’re already in March! Another school year almost complete.

   Photo by Anton Sukhinov on Unsplash

Good for the Wrong Reasons

It came out of nowhere. We were in the frozen foods section at Sam’s Club, my youngest child in the cart and my oldest two standing next to me while my husband decided what sausage to buy. I vaguely noticed the lady with two very rowdy children across the aisle when suddenly I heard her exclaim, “Look at those children over there! They are waiting quietly and patiently. Just be like them!”

And then it happened. My mind flew in a dangerous direction. “Yes,” I thought, “Look at how well my kids are behaving. They would never dream of jumping into the freezer and banging on the door. I can’t believe what some kids get away with.”

Of course, two aisles later my daughter was crying that she was hungry and wouldn’t make it to the car. I pushed the cart faster in an effort to depart the store before anyone noticed her cries.

Pride is an easy trap to fall into. And motherhood brings it out in a whole new way. Suddenly, we feel people measuring us not just on our own merits but also on our children. We believe how they behave is a direct reflection of our parenting. We know from the glances, the headshakes, the raised eyebrows that people are watching our children’s tantrums and the god of self raises its ugly head. We know what they’re thinking about us because we’ve probably thought the same about another mom. 

Pride has been a problem since Satan decided he wanted to be like God. We know the definition of what pride is but we rarely stop and consider what place and appearance it has in our lives as mothers. And while there is a pride in mothering that is good - like celebrating the hard work and accomplishments of our child - unbiblical pride often takes the form of us trying to look better through our children. And in the process demanding behavior from them merely for looks.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). When we tell our children to “be good because you're embarrassing me” but offer no lasting reason for the behavior, we aren't really thinking of teaching them. And we certainly aren’t being humble or considering our children’s spiritual growth. We want the results without putting in the teaching time. It is merely pride in how our children appear and selfish motives that drive us. We should instead desire our children to have good attitudes and behavior because it is glorifying to God. 

Here is another verse that often convicts my heart. “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10). Considering our motives for why we expect certain behaviors is a great heart check. Are we trying to grow our children in the Lord or looking for outward proof that they listen to us?

Wanting kind, polite, well behaved children is not sinful. But when we elevate and expect that behavior for the wrong reasons, we are treading in dangerous waters. As mothers, we have the biggest responsibility and opportunity to train our children. We can teach them biblical obedience through loving and serving God or a works-based merit system where they obey us and behave because that's what we demand. We might get the results we want short term but without God working in the hearts and lives of our children, we do them no favors for the long term.

I'm not suggesting that we shrug off and make excuses for tantrums or that we go through life not caring if our children are the neighborhood terrors. But when we see these attitudes emerging, whether in the aisles of a store with an audience or in the privacy of our home, we need to use more than demands for better behavior or listing comparison children.

We need to remind them and ourselves that we are sinful, we need forgiveness and grace, and God provides both. Instead of putting our children on a pedestal because they've never cried over unbought cookies at the store, we need to humbly acknowledge that they are still sinful - maybe just in less public ways.

So how do we encourage good behavior without making it all about good behavior? It begins with the beauty of the gospel. Romans 3:23 says “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” I like to remind my kids that all means all meaning everyone. As painful as it is, my children know I'm a sinner and they know they are too. The beauty of this is that when I talk about Jesus saving my sins and forgiving me and the Holy Spirit helping me make good choices, they know the same freedom is available to them. They know they'll mess up, but they also know they will be forgiven.

 They know I don't expect perfection, but they also know why I ask for good attitudes and behaviors.

It's not because I want perfect children to show off at Sam's Club. It's because I want my children to willingly serve God.

It's not wrong to want our children to behave or to expect a certain behavior in certain situations. But when how our children behave becomes a matter of pride to us, we have an issue.

As a parent, our ultimate goal should not be to raise perfect children or children who believe they are perfect. Our goal is to train them to glorify God and to serve him. Whatever embarrassment our children sometimes cause should not be the primary goal in addressing our children's bad behavior. Teaching our children that they are sinners in need of a savior is important in shaping their overall care.

Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash

New Bible Verse Printable!

Last year, as we were going into the schoolyear, I made a collection of cards with Bible verses that could easily be printed off and left around the house, schoolroom, or whatever you wanted. My aim was to encourage all the mamas out there and give you a resource for memorizing a Bible verse a week with your kids, whatever education choice you made.

This year, I wanted to do it again with a few changes. I’m really excited to share this new printable with you! A few things different from last year:

• I found these amazing printable index-sized cards at Walmart. I thought they were a perfect option for our weekly Bible verse cards! They are perforated which makes it so easy and fast; just print and fold and you’re done!

• The cards this year are larger — I put four verses on each sheet opposed to the six last year. I did this so they would fit the printable index cards mentioned above and so I could make the font larger.

• Extra room to doodle! It’s a proven fact that copying, highlighting, underlining, etc. all help in memorization. These cards have more room and larger font for kids to trace the words, copy on the back, draw symbols, or whatever they want to lock these Bible truths in their hearts. Print a set for each child and let them underline new words or put stickers on the corners.

• If you print these on index cards, they are thicker and an easy size to hold. Of course, you can print these on regular paper, cut them out, and glue them to fancy cardstock as well.

• This summer, I felt a pull to focus on Bible verses that have to do with our personal character. We’ve memorized verses about God helping us, salvation, peace, etc. But the Bible has a lot to say about how we should act…and shouldn’t! Many of the verses I chose this year are reminders of how we are to treat others, listening, confessing our sins, and the benefits of obeying God.

I hope these are a help and blessing to you! Many of you commented to me that you had printed off the verses last year and enjoyed them. Please print off as many as you want and share the link to this post with friends. I’m praying this school year brings joy, growth, and a love for our God and the children we’ve been entrusted with.

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

Communicating with Our Children

One of the joys of having children is watching them grow, seeing personalities and interests and talents emerge, being able to participate in such an intimate way with someone’s life. It’s a huge responsibility but it’s also a blessing.

As my children grow older, I notice shifts happening, slowly but steadily, as they gain more independence and foster interests. For one, they become more serious. They notice the world around them in a different way and are more aware of the dangers. They don’t always laugh at the simple things anymore and it takes more to impress them.

They also are not as forthcoming with their every thought. My three children have all been early talkers and there are definitely times when the constant conversation in my home is draining. A never ending commentary takes place from the minute they wake up until they reluctantly fall asleep. Even during meals they make noise. But as my oldest daughter grows, I feel a pull to draw her into the conversation, to ask about her day or friends because she’s not always volunteering the information.

I believe communication is a vital yet often overlooked part of raising children. When my children were younger, I remember reading much literature on the benefits of reading aloud to your children. We made weekly trips to the library and I would sit everyday and read aloud our selections, pointing to each word and sounding out longer ones.

As I mentioned, my children were early talkers and had a large vocabulary. I believe part of this is because I constantly talked with my children before they could respond. I remember many grocery trips, my oldest barely big enough to sit in the cart on her own, and I would talk about what we were buying, what I would make with the ingredients, what was on our list. I received many looks for chatting it up with a five month old but I honestly believe it’s important to start talking with kids, even before they can understand.

Equally important is listening. When children think we aren’t paying attention, they will eventually stop trying. When they are telling us a story and we continue scrolling on our phones or they ask a question and we brush it off because we’re too busy, it communicates that we don’t value or care about what they are saying. Not listening communicates as much as words.

I’m at the stage of motherhood where I feel like a lot of what I communicate are the don’ts.

Don’t touch that.

Don’t draw on that.

Don’t hit.

Don’t stick out your tongue.

Don’t, don’t, don’t….

It’s exhausting and can feel very discouraging. No one wants to be remembered as the mom who didn’t say anything positive. So I’ve tried — and am still trying — to include praise, encouragement, and honest conversations in my daily life with my children. When they help, I say thank you. When they achieve something, I notice and say good work. When they are afraid, I talk about a time I was afraid and what helped me. I ask questions about their day, their interests, what excites them. When they have an idea, I try to listen. I look them in the eye. I give them my attention.

All these things add up to make them feel loved and valued and important. And that makes them want to communicate. I’m not by any means perfect at this and we haven’t hit teen years yet, but I’m encouraged by the number of times my kids will seek me out, sit down, and just start talking. They ask me questions. They tell me why they’re sad or frustrated. And we talk about it.

Don’t wait until you think your kids are listening or until they are old enough to understand. Start talking with them now! About little, mundane, ordinary things. Don’t talk with them just about big, life changing moments. Lay the foundation today for the relationship you want tomorrow.

Photo by Kelli McClintock on Unsplash

Things I've Learned from Homeschooling

We have finished our fifth year of homeschooling!

Even though I knew I wanted to homeschool my kids before we even had kids, each year that we successfully complete is a triumph but also kind of amazing! Homeschooling is an opportunity that I am very grateful for but it’s not the easiest option, it’s not always the most convenient option, and it’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly or flippantly. It’s definitely a choice that we make every year and go into with much prayer.

I’ve had so many people ask me about homeschooling and how we do it year after year. To be honest, we look at just the year in front of us and plan our best for that year’s needs. I’m also changing routines and aspects of our school days each year based on what worked the previous year, what didn’t, what my kids are interested in, how they learn best, and how they’re developing. Learning is not a static process and I don’t treat our school that way.

Although I love homeschooling and recommend it without reservation, I know people’s situations are different, there isn’t one answer to good education, and I try to never disparage another parent’s decision about education. That said, I want to share some things I’ve learned about homeschooling and present an honest truth from my own experiences.

I don’t have to know everything before I teach my children. One of the most humbling things about teaching is realizing all the things you’ve forgotten. Especially as my oldest gets into complicated math problems, more complex literature and grammar rules, and deeper science theories, I find myself with a niggling in my mind that at one time I did learn these things; I just don’t completely remember them. So I have to review, work a few long division problems, watch some YouTube videos about diagramming sentences, and move forward with my daughter.

Not everyday is the same. Because I like planning and routine, I used to set out with grand plans for everything we would do each hour of our school day. But those aren’t practical for us or very sustainable. I know some homeschooling families are much more structured but one of the beauties of homeschooling is making it fit with your family. Sometimes history takes us 15 minutes, other days we’ll stop after 45. If something is resonating and sparking questions, we’ll dwell on it a little more. When my daughter was learning about sand being heated to make glass, she asked about the process and we watched a few YouTube videos that showed the glass making process. That led to a conversation about recycling, how things are recycled, and another video on that topic. We are flexible and I’m thankful for the option.

Learning can look different than books. I love reading and beautiful illustrations and diagrams and maps. To me, books are great treasures for learning about things. They can involve your imagination and emotions and teach you in ways other mediums can’t. There’s nothing like holding a book in your hands and being transported. But I’ve found my kids can put into practice the things they’ve studied in so many different ways. By giving them Legos, blocks, pipecleaners, buttons, and a host of other ordinary things, they can build and imagine in such a diverse way. It’s one thing to read how a bridge supports weight or how people lived in castles and another to actually build a structure that stands and design your own town with everything people need to survive. But it is all learning.

I’m not strong enough. The hardest days in homeschooling are when I’m frantic, distracted with worries and anxious, and haven’t read my Bible or fixed my mind on biblical truth. Anything I try to push through and muster the strength for on my own leaves me frustrated, tired, and ready to give up. Even though we are the teacher for our children and it feels like a weight and responsibility we alone need to bear, we were never meant to do it alone. I love James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” God has promised to give us the wisdom we need to fulfill what he has called us to. We have but to ask, yet how often do we attempt to power through on our own? It’s not weakness to admit we need grace and help. It’s living in humility.

Life is about learning. Homeschooling is a humbling, growing, stretching blessing that I don’t take for granted. I’m thankful to teach my children and learn alongside them. Every year that I homeschool I find out more about God and my children and myself. It’s a unique and remarkable journey that I don’t regret.

Photo by Kimberly Farmer on Unsplash.

Why I'm Proud to be a Mom

This is National Women’s History Month. All month, people are supposed to remember, reflect, celebrate, and commemorate everything that women have achieved.

I should start this post by saying I’m not against women or working or contributing. Women have different talents and abilities than men, given to them by God. This doesn’t mean women aren’t smart enough for math or can’t physically work on a car. It means God created men and women differently and I’m thankful for those differences and how God uses them in people’s lives.

Now, my issue is that in secular culture and sadly seeping into the church we see women championed and celebrated in every sphere except motherhood. Sure some commentators will acknowledge that moms are important for children’s mental, physical, and spiritual formation. But in this month of “Look what women have done!” not many people are talking about moms. And when they are, it’s disparaging. They talk about stay at home moms as if we sit on the couch watching the world go by. We have no ambition, no drive, we aren’t contributing to the family income so what good are we? We’re lazy, poor role models. I mention all these because these are actual comments on various Twitter feeds that I’ve seen this month. Downgrading what moms do and exalting the CEO woman who's tearing up Wall Street. We put so much pressure on women to get out there and seize their chance that those who want to stay home with children are ridiculed.

But what no one seems to consider is that behind that woman changing the world and shattering the glass ceiling is probably a mom. Isn't it interesting that so many Olympic athletes talk about the sacrifices their mom made for their child's dream? How many times have we seen a nameless mom with tears of happiness on her face while her child receives a gold medal? We praise the athlete's dedication but often ignore or overlook the mom who gave up something so her child could make history. 

Moms are important, whether they stay at home or work outside the home. The work of nurturing, feeding, caring, keeping a dozen brain tabs open at all times...the value of a mom has become a punchline on sitcoms but it is so important. The work of training your children and showing them they are loved and valued is important.

My oldest turns ten this year and I’ve been reflecting on what I still need to teach her, what I want her to know, and things I want to do with her before she becomes an adult. I admit, it’s enough to leave me overwhelmed. These previous nine years with her have been a joy and a learning process for me and I definitely feel lacking to guide her in some ways. But when I’m at a complete loss for how this mothering adventure is going, I remember these words from Deuteronomy: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. {6:5-9}

So much of what we teach is how we act {gulp!}. And these verses remind me that everything I do and say is teaching something to my children. Teaching them anger or patience. Teaching hate or love. Trusting in man or trusting in God. Teaching them to love God and follow him above all else is the most important thing I can model. And moms are perfectly placed to demonstrate these truths to their children.

Becoming a mom doesn’t mean your dreams end. Becoming a mom doesn’t mean you never have fun or do what you want. Often our desires or aspirations are put on hold while we have little ones but those years are never wasted. Maybe your child will be a doctor who helps others, or a judge who stands for the oppressed, or a teacher who loves kids unwanted at home. For all of these careers, raising children who love God and His Word is the greatest lesson you can teach. And it begins with a mom who loves them.

Please don't read this and think I'm advocating for a mom month. But if you are a mom and feel overlooked or marginalized or invisible, I see you and I'm cheering you on. The fruit of your labor {raising your children} won't be fully known for years but what you do today matters. Press on, Momma. And lean on God.

Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash

The Power of a Good Influence

Can we talk about role models for a minute?

I see this as a huge blind spot in Christian circles. Some people don’t think they matter — just follow God, they would say. Others advise to follow someone in your ‘field’ to really do well in your career. Or follow the example of someone you admire. Or listen to the popular, groundbreaking person that everyone’s talking about.

I’m not saying that role models are evil, but I think we need to put a little more stock in who we hold up for ourselves and definitely our kids. And we need to be careful to not fall into the trap of following whoever the world says.

One of the definitions in the dictionary for ‘role model’ is ‘A person regarded by others as a good example to follow.’ So then we need to ask ourselves what makes for a good example? Is it how wealthy they are? How successful? Is it behavioral or being empathetic?

As Christians, we should have a set of standards that don’t equal what the world calls ‘good.’ We should desire and want to instill in our children a different reason for listening to and following someone. It’s not because of worldly ambitions or gain. It’s not for popularity or joining the crowd. When we hold someone up as a role model, basically saying follow this example for your life, we need to proceed with caution.

Disclaimer: I know everyone is sinful and flawed. Even the greatest people in Christian history have things they said, actions they did that we would not commend. However, part of holding these people up is to show that they needed — and received — God’s grace, just like we do. I’m also not saying we can’t read, admire, etc. secular people who did amazing things. But I am saying we need to be careful WHAT we are teaching our children to follow in these ‘heroes.’

Here’s a personal example. When I was 8 or 9, I read about Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale. At the time, I wanted to be a nurse and I was fascinated by what they overcame, their tenacity, their compassion for others, and their courage and diligence to do what they did. These traits are things that are commendable. However, Barton was a Universalist and believed everyone had some good in them. Many of the founding fathers {Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, etc.} had qualities that helped make this country possible yet their religious beliefs and morality leave much to be desired.

If we’re holding up examples of people merely because ‘they were the first’ ‘they have done what no one else has’ ‘they are popular’ ‘they have overcome huge barriers’…those might not be the best reasons.

What should exemplify a Christian’s life? Many things! The below notes are by no means exhaustive!

The fruit of the Spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” {Gal. 5:22-23}

Prayer. “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” {Rom. 12:12} “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” {Col. 4:2}

Humility. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” {Phil. 2:3}

Compassion. “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” {Col. 3:12}

Forgiveness. “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” {Col. 3:13}

Fear of God. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” {Prov. 1:7}

In Philippians 3, Paul reminds his readers to imitate him in following Christ and to remember the examples of other Christ-followers {v17}. As Christians, our goal on earth should be to witness to others and to glorify God through every aspect of our lives. We should be careful about idolizing godless people who stand completely against His Word and live in a way that shows it.

We shouldn’t hold anyone in higher position than God but if we’re following the example, lifestyle, and opinions of people who don’t exemplify ANY biblical characteristics, we need to rethink our view of a role model. And we need to be careful how we encourage our kids to think about role models and who we hold up for them to follow.

Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash

Raising Children in a Sin Cursed World

As a mom, one of the things I talk about with my friends is raising my kids to love God and value what He values. Even with my friends who aren’t moms, I’ve expressed frustration and concern for what’s going on in the world and how it affects my kids.

Every generation faces challenges when it comes to raising children. A sin cursed world is never going to be easy or convenient to teach children to follow God and love Him. Even in the “good old days,” sin was present and slowly influencing and chipping away at the family. I believe we sometimes sell the previous generations short by moaning about how much more difficult it is to raise children now, in the 21st century. And while previous parents didn’t have to face social media and technology, they still had to deal with sin and a sinful world.

Imagine the world just before the flood. Things were so terrible and wicked that God destroyed everything except Noah’s family and the animals to repopulate the world. We can’t imagine such times. And every civilization from then until now has been driven by sin.

Consider the first century Christians. Ancient Rome was not the most wholesome civilization to be raising children in. Even by secular standards and historians, ancient Roman culture was full of perversion, debauchery, and violence. There were areas where you could leave healthy, born, but unwanted babies for wild dogs to eat. Senators and emperors were corrupt and ready to kill to gain power. Adultery and homosexuality were rampant. People thronged to the Colosseum and similar amphitheaters to watch gladiators kill each other and see Christians torn apart by animals.

But for God’s grace, it would be impossible to even begin to raise children counter culture! As parents, I believe raising children to be God fearing comes down to several things:

• Realizing we can’t isolate them from the evil of this world

• Filling their mind with Bible truth

• Surrounding them with prayer

We as parents are the primary influencers and teachers for our children but that doesn’t mean we can go at it alone. We need wisdom and strength from the Lord and we certainly can’t know or anticipate every curveball that parenthood throws at us.

I guess my point is, everyone has been raised in a sin cursed world. This isn’t something new we’re facing for the first time. A desire to be godly examples of a family in ungodly times has existed since Adam and Eve. We may feel like it’s more prevalent or in our face now with the internet and social media, but sin is sin. It’s always stood there, against the family and trying everything possible to tear us down.

Instead of excusing the difficulties of today and saying it’s harder than anyone else has faced, we must trust God, soak ourselves in the Bible daily, and not let the culture dictate how we parent. We must know what the Bible teaches on issues of sin, values, and moral standards and instill those into our children.

Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash

Bible Truth for School + a Printable

I think we can all agree that this school year is going to be crazy.

No matter what choice we made for our kids, there are going to be challenges and adjustments. And even if we aren’t doing anything radically different, the world around us is a completely different place. Wearing masks, not going certain places, not being able to visit friends or family. Depending on where you live, it might feel like what was normal last fall will never return.

I’ve been struggling with keeping a positive attitude. I’m usually an optimistic person and I genuinely try to not let things get me down. But there are some aspects of 2020-21 that I am not looking forward to. And I’m not excited about explaining things to my kids or dealing with their frustrations.

This summer as I prepared for our school year and planned curriculum, there were moments when I wondered if my efforts would even matter. Will we be able to do the fun things I’ve researched? Will field trips be a possibility? How can I get my kids excited for things without risking having to cancel our plans and disappoint them?

There’s always a measure of unknown about the future but this year feels completely uncertain. Thankfully, we are not alone. And the One Who is with us is Sovereign over all. This summer as I’ve prepared curriculum and spreadsheets and my lesson planner, I’ve also been praying and meditating on Bible verses a lot. When the wisdom of this world is complete foolishness and I’m at the end of my mental and emotional rope, I can always rest in the truth found in the Bible.

The Bible never grows old or outdated. The truth that comforted David as he ran from Saul can comfort me in 2020. The grace Paul wrote of is available to me now. The wisdom Solomon gave his son thousands of years ago is relevant for us to pass on to our children. And God Who inspired and directed its words is still in control of the world He created.

So as I approached this unprecedented 2020-21 school year, I wanted to make sure I was filling myself with God’s words and not the discourse of today’s news. The Bible is brimming with encouraging verses that we often forget.

To help myself — and hopefully you — I’ve created a very simple printable of 47 verses. My hope is that we print off and cut out these small cards, put them in the schoolroom, in our planners, on our bathroom mirrors, in our kitchen windows, and recite these promises to ourselves and our kids.

I made them simple because 1) I’m not a graphic designer, 2) I know not everyone has a color printer, 3) I wanted the Bible verse to take full attention. If you want to color, draw, glue on scrapbook paper, make it pretty, go for it!! Print it and make it yours. Read a new verse everyday then circle back to review throughout the year. Or mediate on the same verse for a whole week.

Just click the button below and a PDF should open for printing.

Photo from Jeffrey Hamilton on Unsplash

Making Unit Plans

We are over halfway into summer! For me, that means planning for next school year!

This might seem tedious but I love it. Talking to my kids about what they want to learn and researching possibilities is fun for me. Mapping out a {tentative} school year plan is always challenging but I enjoy it! Of course, rarely does a year go exactly as planned {hello, COVID-19!!} but I like having a goal set and some things in place to strive for.

First off, we traditionally homeschool meaning we use a set curriculum for our core subjects, my kids have books and workbooks and a laid out lesson plan for math, science, language arts, and history. We use the Bob Jones Press textbooks and really love them. They have a great scope and sequence laid out that flows together from year to year, and the subjects tie together well {like what we’re learning in English grammar corresponds to what we’re doing in spelling, etc.}. So far, my kids have demonstrated that sitting at desks and having a structure works for them.

So, when I say my kids are choosing what they want to study, what am I talking about? I fully realize that some things in school you just have to learn but different people are drawn to different things. When I was a student, I loved reading, history, and writing. I still gravitate toward those more than science or math. But science and math are necessary and important so we can’t spend all our time reading literature and writing book reports.

I’m a firm believer that most kids love learning but they need to have an opportunity to learn things that keep them interested. Every year, I ask my kids what topics they want to know more about. It can be an animal, a place, a time period, a person. I ask them to choose two or three each. Then I look for books, activities, YouTube videos, etc. that we can incorporate into our school year. This isn’t a formal curriculum or something that’s super structured. In the past, we’ve done it one day a week and alternated weeks. This year, we’re going to try doing each subject daily for two weeks, then switching subjects.

What I love about this is it gives the kids {and me} the opportunity to learn about something that might not be included in curriculum we would usually use and to dig in a little deeper. I haven’t finished putting the plans together yet but let me show you my process for planning:

We will be learning about Sweden, the Vikings, dinosaurs and Creation, and Russia and the Romanovs in our first semester. Here are the steps I followed for each topic:

1. To start, I thought about what aspects of those topics I want my kids to learn, keeping in mind their ages. Obviously, we can’t be exhaustive on the subject, especially if we’re only spending 2 weeks on each one! So I try to keep it realistic. For Sweden, for example, I would like them to learn where it is, major city names, and a little about the history. For fun activities, we’ll cook some Swedish food and learn how they celebrate holidays.

2. Then I looked up what books the library has available on these topics {for dinosaurs, I looked in our church library to focus on the Creation/young earth viewpoint, not evolution}. I wrote down the names and call numbers to save time in the fall. Once I know what weeks we’ll be covering each topic, I’ll put the books on hold at the library.

3. Then I looked online for things that might fill in, like activity books, sticker books, videos, etc. I found dinosaur ‘eggs’ you chisel open and find the dinosaur ‘bones’ in then reconstruct the dinosaur! On YouTube, I found a video that gives an overview of Sweden’s history with animation. Anything fun or hands-on I save to an Amazon list or write down. I don’t want to break the bank or purchase more than we can use so I set a limit on how much I’m going to buy per subject. Pinterest is a great place to look for activities to download. I found a whole Viking unit with games, crosswords, and puzzles that a homeschool mom put together for a free download!

This might sound like a lot but I love it! It also helps to get the kids excited about school next year. I try to keep some of the plans a surprise for them, but knowing we will be learning about things they love helps their enthusiasm stay high.

What fun things do you incorporate into your school year? What are some unit studies you’ve tackled?

Photo by Nick Morrison on Unsplash

Choosing Books

I mentioned in a previous post about letting your kids read what interests them. However, that doesn’t mean you have your hands off the wheel of what they’re being exposed to. So how can you help your kids make good choices about books?

I think one of the keys is communication. Even once children can read for themselves, parents shouldn’t leave them to their own devices. There are a lot of crazy books out there!! And mature topics are being introduced at earlier ages. So as a parent or caregiver, communicating with the children is so crucial. Ask what they’ve learned, why they love that series, or read some of it for yourself.

Another key is to be the gatekeeper. My kids know when we go to the library, I can veto any book they want to put in the bag. They are welcome to browse and bring me books that look interesting to them, but if I look through it and decide it wouldn’t be best, they know I will put it back. End of story. This hasn’t happened often but I have reshelved books and said it’s not something I want them reading.

In order to be a gatekeeper, you have to know what you want in and what you want to keep out. Reading preferences vary from house to house and depend on your children’s ages, how sensitive they are to scary/frightening things, etc. We have made a rule to not read things {at this time} with witches, zombies, or other scary type creatures. Even in picture books, we have decided to not go there. If we get books about dinosaurs from the library, my kids know I won’t read the evolution stuff. We read about archaeologists digging up bones and how large the dinosaurs were but not the millions of years parts. Knowing what you want your kids learning from books and dwelling on is crucial to picking out good literary choices!

Since I love reading, researching children’s books and series is fun for me. I also have so many fond memories of books I loved as a child that I want to share with my kids. But if you weren’t/aren’t a bookworm, I suggest looking up “Laura’s List” by Beverly Darnall. It is a wonderful resource to get ideas of books for children of all ages. There is also “Books Children Love.” These books give the title, author, age range, and basic description of the story.

If you would like a Christian mom’s perspective, I recommend the “Read Aloud Revival” website. Sarah Mackenzie is a homeschool mom who is passionate about getting kids to read…and families to read together. She offers recommends and reading lists on her website and talks books on her podcast of the same name.

Choosing books can be daunting if you just step into a library or bookstore with no idea what you’re looking for. But with these guidelines and a little prep work, you — as a parent or caregiver — can help your kids make great choices about what they’ll read and introduce them to the wonderful world of books.

Photo by Gaelle Marcel on Unsplash

Kids Loving Books

Summer is almost here! Outdoor activities are calling!

I love summer. Flowers blooming, kids laughing, sitting outside, fresh breezes blowing. As a homeschool mom, summer gives me a chance to do things in the morning besides school. And those things are usually reading and researching for our next school year!

It’s no secret that I love books. Reading is one of my favorite ways to unwind and relax and spend a day. I don’t go in for audiobooks much — I need to see the words to really follow along. But going to the library is one of my favorite past times and it’s something I love sharing with my kids.

I get a lot of questions from people about choosing books for their kids or getting their kids to love reading. And summer is a great time to start a reading habit! Even though I love having my kids play outside during the summer months, it’s also important to keep learning. We make time everyday for books. Sometimes it’s sitting on the couch before dinner, sometimes it’s sitting in the shade outside taking a break with a snack and Kool-Aid. And sometimes it’s right before bed to help calm down.

For the next few blogs, I’m going to be sharing all things about kids and books. This first post is to hopefully help you get your kids reading! Let’s start with some tips for getting your kids interested in reading and for making time everyday for it.

1) Let them find what interests them. When my oldest was really little, I read the books that I loved as a child or simple board books. As she got older and started reading by herself, her preferences started showing. So I asked her what things interested her about the books she chose. A certain time period? A certain animal? Country? With her input, I searched Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and the library for books that might appeal {you can do this from home!}. On one of our library trips {before COVID}, I showed her some of the books I had found. She picked what she wanted to try. I’ll be honest, there were some books I really wanted her to read that she declined. But I knew I couldn’t force her to love the same things I do. And I can always try to introduce it again when she’s older.

2) Introduce fiction and non fiction. I’ve been amazed at how much my six year old gravitates to non fiction. He wants books about animals and different countries and science more than anything else. With the exception of a few super hero books, he always wants to check out non fiction books first. Even non fiction kids books are usually harder to read than fiction because they use words kids aren’t used to seeing or hearing. But I don’t mind reading the books aloud if it catches his interest and teaches him something.

3) Ask them about what they read. This is huge and, I think, under appreciated. When my daughter started reading American Girl books, it opened a whole new dialogue of conversation between us. I read many of those books when I was her age and remembered the characters and stories enough to comment. So when Kirsten’s friend died of cholera, my daughter wanted to know what the disease was, how she could have gotten sick, etc. When Molly met a friend from England, we talked about children having to leave their families because it wasn’t safe to stay in their homes. When she started reading Horse Diaries and Dog Diaries, series that weren’t around when I was younger, I deliberately asked about the horses and dogs, the breeds, what they did, why they had a book written about them. She never ran out of things to tell me. Kids are people {duh, right?!} and they enjoy knowing others are interested in hearing from them. I’ve found sometimes kids have questions they are dying to ask but they don’t know exactly how to open the conversation. If we ask, look out!

4) Make the time. We can’t force our kids to love reading but we can give them opportunities without them feeling like they are missing out on something more fun:

When you start making lunch or dinner, call kids to the couch for a ‘wind down’ time before the meal. Have a stack of books for them to look at. If your kids can’t read yet, encourage them to look at the pictures and guess what the story is about and promise to read it together after dinner.

During the hottest part of the day, call the kids to the shade with a snack and a book to read aloud. Even my eight year old still enjoys listening to me read. Sometimes she asks me to read aloud to her while she colors or draws.

Find a book or series you can read as a family at a specific time of day. Choose what works for your schedule. I know some families who read together after breakfast or dinner. We usually do it before bed. We’ve read two Chronicles of Narnia, Pilgrim’s Progress, several Bible story books, and Bible devotional books.

A big reality is that it won’t be picture perfect, especially when you’re first starting. Little kids will roam off to play, big kids will roll their eyes. Don’t give up! It takes consistency and time. We have a basket where we keep all our library books, fully accessible to everyone. They know they can look at them anytime.

In my next post, I’ll talk more about choosing books and and building your own library.

One of the things I tell my kids is that when you know how to read, you can learn anything. It truly is a beautiful and wonderful gift.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Mom + Kid Devotions - Psalm 119

I’m not sure if it’s the extra time at home that everyone seems to have or what but people have been asking me for ideas to study the Bible with their kids. As I searched through the free resources some blogs and websites are offering, I noticed they were either/or: they were for kids or they were for moms.

Of course, you can always do a children’s devotion with your kids and learn from it and you can modify and simplify what you read for your kids. But I wondered if it wouldn’t be helpful to have one passage for mom and kids to read/study, some questions to think about and answer, and of course an activity!!

I started putting this simple study together on Psalm 119. The goal is not to overwhelm but to help you read and think about God’s Word together. Here’s some things to keep in mind:

• Break it into different days. This devotional isn’t designed to do in one day. Try one of these approaches: 1) read the entire Psalm one day, review and ask questions the next, do the activity while you review the key verse the third day, etc. Or 2) since Psalm 119 is already divided into sections of eight verses each, read one section and answer the questions each day. For smaller children, that breaks it into easier chunks to read and think about.

• For older kids, have them write out the answers to the questions listed under “For Mom.” You could also encourage them to think about/write down how the verses apply to them, what it teaches about God and his character, questions they have.

• Have kids who can read take turns reading the verses aloud.

• When you do the activity, talk about why it’s important to put God’s Word in our hearts opposed to other things. Remind them that the Bible is profitable for ANY circumstance we find ourselves in.

Below you’ll find the link to a 2-page PDF you can print off for free. I started reading Psalm 119 with my kids today and asking these questions. By keeping it simple, my prayer is that it’s easy for you to use and adapt to your family without being overwhelming or “just one more thing.”

Please let me know in the comments or over on my Instagram account if you find this helpful and would like more Bible studies like this to print and use with your kids. Stay healthy and stay home!

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash.

Thanksgiving Activities

As I mentioned in my last post, an attitude of being grateful is so important for us and necessary to cultivate in our kids. We are not naturally thankful people. Our mind and desires are constantly pulled by what we want, not pleased with what we have. If we are truly to be good stewards and appreciate what God gives us, we must be thankful people.

It's easy to talk a good talk but true thankfulness is demonstrated by our attitude and actions. When we complain or worry or covet, we are showing how ungrateful we are for the blessings we already have. Sitting down and literally counting our blessings is one of the best ways to fight off the bad attitude blues and there are a variety of ways to get kids involved in this practice. November isn't the only month to use these ideas and I'll give some adaptation ideas if you want to practice thankfulness in May.

Wreath

Last year at Target in the dollar spot I found a foam wreath and 20-something leaves that you could write on and attach to the wreath using double sided tape squares. This year I saw a similar idea there but it was snowflakes instead of leaves. Something like this is a great afternoon craft and then it can go on display for the rest of the month with something you are thankful for written on each leaf. If you can’t find these at Target anymore, the Dollar Store would be a great place to look.

Tree

If you have a tree in need of pruning, cut branches off and put them in a vase or container — in essence making your own tree. Cut leaf shapes out {I found free leaf printables on Pinterest and printed them on colorful paper}, hole punch, and tie loops with yarn or twine. In the past, we’ve used this as a centerpiece on Thanksgiving Day, giving people a leaf or two to write what they are thankful for. Before our meal, we go around the table reading our leaves and hanging them on the tree. This can easily be changed into Christmas ornaments with time given to express thanks before we open presents.

Garland

One year I printed enough leaves for everyday in November leading to Thanksgiving and gathered clothespins. I hung twine across the family room, attached to the walls with Command hooks. Each morning at breakfast, I would ask my kids what they were thankful for, write it on two leaves {I only had two children at the time}, and hang them on the garland. When the leaves in our box ran out, it was Thanksgiving Day and our garland was a full decoration for our guests to read and enjoy. This is a great way to count down to an event and keep the focus on what we’ll be celebrating, not on how long we have to wait for the day to get here! Change the leaves to snowflakes, flowers, watering cans, or pumpkins depending on the season and make any time of year a time to give thanks!

Journal

Another great Target dollar spot find is a set of eight journals, each with 16 or so pages. Challenge older kids to write something everyday they are thankful for, maybe with a little more embellishment than “I’m thankful for food.” For younger children, they can draw a picture. This activity can be modified for different ages and various seasons very easily. In the spring, have children list what they are most excited about for summer then ask how it makes them thankful {“I’m excited to swim” becomes “I’m thankful we can go to the pool” or “I’m thankful I know how to swim”}. If you don’t have a journal or notebook, have kids make their own by hole punching copier paper and stringing yarn through the holes. These would be fun to keep and look back on each year.

A-Z Game

My dad is famous — maybe infamous — in our family for always instigating this game on Thanksgiving Day. No matter who is sharing the day with us, we always gather after dessert and before football to play. The challenge in this game is that nothing is written down, it all comes down to memory. Everyone takes turns and every turn begins by saying, “God is the source of all good things and I thank Him for…” and the first person says something starting with an A. The next person says the phrase, repeats what player one said for A, and adds B. You get the idea where this is going. This would be a great game to play in the car or on vacation, camping…. Because you don’t need any supplies, just a group of people, it’s perfect for anytime.

I hope you see that anything can be used to show what we are grateful for. What I try to do is something tangible that kids can see. When they can see how full the garland is, how many leaves are on the tree, it’s helps them to grasp how much we have to be thankful for. A running list on a chalkboard or post it notes stuck to a mirror can be just as good! Make a game of it and set a timer for 5 minutes. For every thing they mention, they get a block or a sticker or anything! When the timer goes off, count it up.

Giving thanks can be fun and creative. It can be done as a group on Thanksgiving Day or alone throughout the month. You can do it with your preschoolers all the way to college age and beyond. We are never too old to say, “Thank you, God, for all your good and precious gifts.”

Photo by Kiy Turk on Unsplash

Why I Don't Tell My Kids They're Perfect

Before you become a parent it’s so easy to plan the way things are going to go. Great family pictures, daily memories made, everyone enjoying the same things, in bed by 8pm. The sky’s the limit when you’re dreaming about your “perfect life.”

It’s not that your ideas about parenthood and children were wrong or impossible. They just might need some tweeking. And a healthy dose of reality.

Aside from the outward plans we have for how our family looks, we also have to consider the inner. The wills, emotions, and personalities we are charged to bring up and discipline.

I’m afraid sometimes in our culture {maybe world} we expect perfection in some small doses in our children. And I’m not talking about when our children are perfectionists {see my post here about raising a perfectionist}. I’m talking about expecting our children to follow every rule, to clean up messes without being taught or told, to be naturally kind and humble and grateful. All those qualities that you appreciate in others.

Obviously I’m saying part of this with my tongue in my cheek but don’t our grand expectations sometimes amount to that? We forget that such things must be taught and modeled for our children. We look around at other kids and wonder how to get our kids to copy them. Maybe in a moment of weakness, we even ask our children why they can’t do such and such like so and so. We teach them to compare their abilities to others.

And just like comparison is dangerous for adults, it is equally dangerous for children. They might think, “I’m not as bad as him, I would never do that, I’m so much better than her.” Or conversely, they might start to believe they will never be good enough in our eyes, “My mom loves him better than me because he’s kinder, I never measure up to her.”

Although I don’t enjoy demonstrating my flaws to my kids, I also don’t shrink back from apologizing to them or admitting when I make a mistake. We have many conversations about how Jesus is the only one who lived a perfect life and while we try to follow that example, we know we will fail and should be ready to ask forgiveness when needed.

While it is very important for our kids to know we love them and listen to them and pray for them, I don’t want my children to ever think they don’t need God. I don’t want them to believe they can attain perfection or that they need to copy someone else to gain my attention. Instead, I tell them I love them, I give praise when they do a good job, and encourage them when they try something new. No matter what they choose to do in life, I want them to always know ultimately the strength and wisdom and guidance they need to succeed in anything doesn’t come from themselves, but from their Creator.

Photo by Ricardo Viana on Unsplash

Teaching with Patience

I love that we never stop learning. The truth that there will always be something we could do better, something we don’t fully understand, something to aspire to. I’m sure for some it’s frustrating, but I find it exciting. I love learning new things.

As a homeschool mom, I’m constantly learning new things with my kids. But I’m also noticing things that I have forgotten I ever learned. Do you sit and think about things that are second nature to you? You can’t remember when you learned them or how they clicked. You just know it. Like explaining how to hold a knife and fork to cut something or fold laundry or rinse shampoo out of your hair. I think for adults it’s easy to forget all the basic things that we’ve had to learn.

Then we have kids. And whether you homeschool or not, we suddenly find ourselves having to explain things that seem natural to us. Definitions of words, how to perform a task, why we do things a certain way or why something is necessary. It’s all new to our children. They are discovering this world for the first time and everything is fresh and uncertain and unfamiliar. It’s up to us to guide them.

My son has a large vocabulary for a five year old. He was an early talker and if anything, his communication skills have increased tenfold. But he also listens and pays attention more than I’ve given him credit for. When he hears a word in a sentence, he can use that word in another sentence and it will make sense. But I’m finding out he doesn’t know what the word actually means. He just knows how to use it from hearing it in context. So all these words like ‘especially’, ‘specific’, ‘spontaneous’, ‘direct’, etc. that he’s been saying for years he is finally asking me what it means. And I often have to think a little longer than I want to admit to come up with a good definition.

A huge part of parenting is breaking down information, making it accessible and relevant to our kids. We need to demonstrate and explain why knowledge is important. If they feel like they don’t need a certain set of information, why learn it? I felt this way about math. If I have a calculator, why memorize times tables? {That argument didn’t work with my parents and I’m not letting my kids off either.} But to keep them learning, we need to foster an environment where they 1} want to ask questions and 2} feel safe asking questions.

A Desire to Ask

And this is where patience comes in. It can be incredibly frustrating when everything you do or everywhere you go is met with a slew of questions. “Why are stoplights red? Why is there a yellow light? What does definitely mean? Why can we definitely not buy that? How long is a month? How long is an hour? Do we have to count to 60 for 60 seconds to pass? Why is my birthday in March? Why do I have to hold my pencil like that? How do you know the chicken is cooked? Why are you cooking those carrots?” In case you’re wondering, I’ve been asked all these questions right in the middle of tasks I was attempting to complete and it is very frustrating and distracting to think of answers and explain reasonings while trying to drive, cook, shop, etc.

But I try to remind myself my kids aren’t asking these things to be annoying. They have a genuine curiosity about the things around them. They also know the best way to learn is to ask. I try my best to answer but sometimes I have to resort to a new default we 21st century parents have: let’s ask Google. Sometimes I don’t know the answer or I don’t have the brain power to explain coherently why there are 24 hours in a day. So we ask Google or look online together.

I never want my kids to think their questions are dumb or unimportant because that’s the first step in them not asking me questions anymore. If they feel silly or like I’m too busy to answer, they will assume it’s not worth the embarrassment to ask and move on. I think we’ve all either been the kid who doesn’t ask questions or witnessed a kid not asking questions because of how adults responded. I see this happen just going to the grocery store. A child asks the parent how bread is made and the parent either ignores him in an attempt to get through the shopping trip or says something like, “Machines make it” and moves on.

The Safety of Asking

The second point I mentioned above is feeling safe enough to keep asking. Part of this is the child’s personality — naturally shy children usually have a harder time speaking up, even in a nurturing environment. But if we laugh, tease, mock, or ridicule children for asking about the world around them, any child is going to feel silly and eventually stop asking. Remember at the beginning when I mentioned so many things being second nature to adults, we have forgotten we learned them? When our children ask us why we have to wash hands before eating, it’s easy to say, “To get rid of germs” and move on. But they might then ask what germs are, how we get them, why we don’t want them, what they look like. If we put a blanket statement of, “Just wash your hands!” over all inquiries about germs, they will continue to wonder about them but they might not feel like asking about them anymore. We have forgotten that at one point, we had to learn everything we know about germs too.

It can be incredibly difficult to not laugh at some of the things kids say or ask. I’m often caught completely off guard by the things they wonder about or how they pronounce words. But even if I have to bite my inner cheek for a few seconds before responding, I try to not treat their questions like a big joke. I haven’t always done a good job of this and I can remember watching the embarrassment rise in their little faces and the quick, “Never mind” as they acted like it wasn’t important. And I immediately felt guilty for making light of their natural curiosity.

We as parents need to realize children learn through asking and wondering and if they don’t believe we care, listen to, or take seriously their questions, they will stop asking us and find an outlet that will listen. And they might start getting answers we don’t agree with. We live in an age of information but not all information is equal or correct if we want to instill a biblical worldview in our children. God has given us these little blessings called children and it is our responsibility to teach them, train them to follow God. Yes, it takes time and patience. It requires us to think through things in different ways and see the world through their eyes. But it is a task well worth the effort, for our children and for us.

In closing, I’ve been convicted by two verses recently that go hand in hand with teaching in patience:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

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Making an Impact

I've been thinking of the word impact lately. Particularly how we impact those around us. My daughter recently finished a book about various Christian women who did amazing things. One that caught her attention was Joni Eareckson Tada. 

In case you're unfamiliar with the story, when Joni was 17 she dove into a river, hitting the bottom with her head and paralyzing her from the neck down. After battling depression and questioning God's goodness, Joni came to believe God could still use her, even from a wheelchair. She started a radio program, founded a ministry for people with disabilities, learned to paint with a brush in her mouth, and wrote books about her accident. She still speaks at events, sharing God's love and grace in the midst of tragedy.

My daughter was filled with questions after reading about this remarkable woman. She also retold and shared the story with multiple friends. Joni's life and testimony are impacting my daughter, making her consider God's goodness in hard times, and revealing it is possible to rejoice when life isn't what we expect.

Another person we have been discussing recently is Ron Hamilton. My kids have become big fans of Patch the Pirate music adventures, listening to the stories and songs daily. On one recording, Patch (Ron) explained to the kids that he had cancer in his one eye and the doctor had to remove it. He started wearing a patch and people joked he looked like a pirate. He began to write songs and record stories that taught kids biblical principles and Patch the Pirate was started. I knew all this from listening in my own childhood but my daughter eagerly found me and told the whole story.

These two people have never met my daughter and they probably won't this side of heaven. But they are impacting her, living lives that point to Christ and encouraging her to keep trusting God, even if hard things happen. 

The world is full of so many 'role models' living for the things of this world. Our children need good, faithful examples to follow. And there are so many people throughout history that we can learn from.

But don't discount yourself. Maybe you don't have children or grandchildren. You can still impact those around by reaching out, getting to know others, and getting involved in their lives. I remember lessons from Sunday School teachers and Awana leaders from 25 years ago. Just step up and allow God to use you.

As a parent, I'm so thankful when other godly people take interest in my kids and model biblical living. It shows my kids I'm not the only one saying, 'Obey your parents' or 'Love the Lord' or 'Don't complain but rejoice'. And our whole family benefits from the love and kindness of a godly example.

You don't have to have a huge platform or social media presence to make an impact. Start in your own home and reach out to those around you. Ask God to put people in your path that need encouragement and then don't be afraid when he answers.

We might never know the influence we have on others but that’s not the point. We need to simply be willing to be examples and be used of God and leave the rest to Him.

Photo by Linus Nylund on Unsplash

Why Moms Need Prayer

We hear over and over that mom's need to pray. We need strength. We need help. We need everything God can give us to stay up to the task of mothering. But it's about more than requesting God give us the physical ability to make it through the next day. Mothering is not about surviving until it gets easier. Mothers are in the business of mentoring.

In the midst of changing diapers and fixing meals it's easy to forget our most important role as moms. We are charged with shaping and molding the little lives God has given us. If we provide merely for their physical needs, we are neglecting the most important need and setting them up for struggles later in life. Every mom wants what is best for her children. That's why parenting blogs and mommy magazines are so prolific. We want to know we are doing what is best for our children and have validation for those choices.

But life is about more than getting good grades, being athletic, or looking picture perfect. We are here to glorify God and that doesn't begin at a certain age. The truth is we need to teach our children, while they are young, the importance of a relationship with Christ. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” This doesn’t guarantee that perfect parenting with automatically equal perfect children. But it is encouragement that when we take time now to correct, discipline, and guide our children in Christlikeness, those lessons are important for their future.

And this is where prayer comes in. As mothers we need to pray not just for ourselves in dealing with our children but pray for the individual needs of each child. We need to realize that ultimately their spiritual growth doesn't come down to our rules, restrictions, or regulations. They need the Holy Spirit indwelling them just as we do. It is God that can affect true change in their lives. While we can and should be examples of godly living, we can't force spirituality on our children.

Prayer is communication with God. He hears, he answers, he guides. Think of all the times the psalmist cried out to God. He was praying. James instructs us to ask for wisdom and if there's one thing mom's need wisdom about, it's raising children! (James 1:5) Proverbs 3:5-6 reminds us to trust God first and lean on him and he will direct our steps. If we aren't going to God in prayer over how we teach our children, how can we say we are trusting his guidance?

I want to close by issuing a challenge. I’ve put together a week long prompt on praying for yourselves and our children. Click the button below to download and print out the schedule.

Photo by Gebhartyler on Unsplash

Needing Grace as a Parent

**Before I begin, this post in no way is saying you shouldn’t try your best! As you read, I hope you understand I’m not advocating that we try to make mistakes. But when we do fail, I think it’s important for our children to see how we cope and Who we rely on.**

One of the first lessons of parenting that you learn is that your idea of what a parent is drastically changes. Your goals and ideals suddenly change. The things you said you would never do or allow as a parent also change. Errands are more difficult, tasks take longer, and priorities change.

Obviously we want to be good parents for our children but sometimes our ideas of what makes a good parent are flawed. I've learned that being a good parent doesn't mean I'm good at everything. It doesn't mean I have to do everything for my children. When we look at other parents around us and we see what they are willing and able to do for their children, we might feel inadequate.

Just like comparing ourselves to others in other aspects of life is dangerous comparing our parenting to the parenting of others is equally treacherous. I'm afraid sometimes we want to be like other parents so much that we don't stop to ask why it's that important to us. I also think we are failing to teach our children an important lesson they need to learn.

Admitting we need help or are not perfect at something is difficult for some of us, especially when it is to our children. Just like it is difficult to apologize and ask our children for forgiveness, the discipline of letting our children see us fail sounds impossible. But consider this. If your children never see you struggle with something or never see you deal with disappointment in the correct way, how will they learn how to cope with disappointments and struggles in their own life? Children learn by example. They learn to talk, throw a ball, polite manners, kindness, etc. all by watching and listening to us.

Also if our children grow up believing we have everything in our life put together and perfect and we never struggled or learned hard lessons along the way, how comfortable do you think they will be with sharing their struggles with us? They will go to someone else for advice and for comfort because they might not believe we have any experience to offer them.

Part of living and growing in our Christian life is that it is not static, it is changing. God offers us his grace and faithfulness but if we don't show our children that we need it, they will grow up thinking they don't either.

In our culture it seems to be that any time we need help or fail at something we are told not to admit our weakness. We sweep it under the rug so to speak. We make excuses for why we didn't get that done or do this. However, Paul reminds us that it is through our very weaknesses that Christ gives strength. Sometimes the failing is in small things like messing up a recipe. Other times it might be bigger like breaking something that doesn't belong to us. Our attitude and actions following these types of failures communicates much to our children. The day we are too proud to admit our failings is the day we think we don't need the Lord.

Our children don't need to see us accomplish everything we desire, or perfectly execute something on the first try. They need to see us attempt things, maybe fail, yet get up and try again. They need to watch us depend on God's grace for everything just like we want them to. And they need to see us glorify God and praise him, even if life doesn’t go as planned.

Photo by Chuttersnap on Unsplash