For years, I’ve had this struggle: finding the balance between being a mom and being a creative.
I love my kids and I love homeschooling them and watching them learn and grow. I’m so thankful for the things they have taught me and the ways they have stretched me. But I miss working on a project without interruptions. I wish I could sit and write when the inspiration hits instead of scribbling disjointed thoughts on a paper that lays beside my computer for weeks until I get to it. It’s hard to pursue what I love while fully giving attention to the people I love.
I don’t think this is an unusual struggle. I think moms everywhere are trying to find a balance. Maybe for you it’s painting, photography, baking, DIY projects. There’s something you love that inspires you and pulls on you. But you are reminded daily {hourly?} that there is a more important pull, one that won’t always be there. The desire to play and create with your kids, to teach them new things and read your favorite stories aloud. To answer their questions and comfort their fears. You know they won’t always run to you or climb in your lap. So you put your dreams aside with a sigh and embrace the joy before you.
In my quest to spend my time wisely and make room for my hobbies, I’ve read books and blog posts about this delicate balance. They all suggest working while the little ones sleep, rising early, dedicating Sunday afternoon/evening to your craft. But sometimes those aren’t possible. Kids who don’t nap, seasons of sickness and transition when you have to grab any rest you can get, obligations that take the first of your limited free time. These are all real struggles. It doesn’t mean you aren’t seizing every moment. Sometimes there aren’t many moments to seize.
The last few years have been the most difficult for me. Two children in a row that didn’t nap or sleep well at night left me exhausted. Going from two kids to three upped the laundry, cleaning, cooking, argument settling. Changing up our homeschool routine meant I needed to spend more time planning and prepping and overseeing. My desire to write never left or diminished. It just got pushed to the side. And while I’m okay with that because I love being with my family, there’s still the urge to journal and research and read in every moment of space — no matter how small. I’ve been known to stand at the stove, stirring sauce with a book in my other hand. I carry a notebook in my purse and sometimes scribble a question or thought before I climb out of the car to grocery shop.
I have no great advice on pursuing your creative dreams and desires while balancing mom life. I haven’t found a magic formula, a golden hour, a tried and true routine. When my family needs me, I try my best to be there. I try to put them first in my time and energy, even when that means I don’t get ‘creative space’ every day. But I also acknowledge that they can join my creative pursuits. I take my pen and paper outside while they play, I tell them my ideas while we eat lunch together, I turn the music loud so they can dance behind me while I’m typing. It’s not perfect. But we make it work. And I continue to wait. And write. And trust God to meet me where I am.
Photo by Carolyn V on Unsplash.