The Countdown Month

In almost exactly a month, I’m going to turn 40.

I’m not upset or worried or overwhelmed at the prospect. I don’t think a number has to change your outlook on how you live. But I know that entering another decade is a milestone and a blessing. I don’t take a day for granted and I know everything could change in a minute. I’m very thankful for these 40 years.

It’s easy to become reflective when milestones are on the horizon. We remember past moments, maybe regret previous decisions. Over the last two months, I’ve been considering how I’ve changed in the last decade, lessons I’ve learned, things I want to aspire to.

Initially, I thought I’d share 40 thoughts on 40 years but as I began writing them down, it was easy to come up with more than 40. I don’t intend to share them all with you. But over the next few blog posts, I want to highlight the ones that stuck out the most, the ones that kept coming to mind.

As previously stated, I don’t take turning 40 for granted. No age is guaranteed. Which makes the process of approaching this birthday exciting and a time to consider. How have I grown in the last decade? How have I changed and is it for the better? I try to not dwell on regrets but those can be life shaping also.

My goal in this reflective process is to put to words some of what I’m feeling going into my 40th year. And to also challenge you to look at your life. Even if you don’t have big celebrations on the horizon, there is always space to learn and be grateful for this life. I hope my future posts encourage you to do just that.

Photo by Seyedeh Hamideh Kazemi on Unsplash

The Value of Memorizing the Bible

This semester, one of our ladies Bible study groups has been reading a wonderful book about Bible memorization. Memorizing Scripture: The Basics, Blessings, and Benefits of Meditating on God’s Word is exactly what is sounds like: a guidebook to how and why we meditate on the Bible.

Memorizing is quickly falling out of favor in all areas of life. Spelling tests, multiplication facts, state capitals, things everyone had to memorize a generation ago are no longer required or even encouraged in some spheres. Why? Because we have phones, tablets, the Internet is available 24/7 with all the answers. When your math teacher told you to memorize the 12s times tables because you wouldn’t always have a calculator with you…that no longer applies. So why spend the time, effort, and brain space on things that we can look up faster than we could recall?

The case for Bible memory is stronger than any other subject because God’s Word is different than any other subject. It has the power to change us, help us, comfort us, guide us, convict us, and the list continues. While I still encourage my kids to memorize facts that others look up, my encouragement to memorize the Bible is far stronger because the Bible isn’t man’s ideas, it’s from God.

My own road with memorizing is shaky. As a kid, my mom would record herself saying Bible verses on an endless cassette tape {if you don’t know what I’m talking about, ask Google}. As I played or colored, I would listen and absorb those verses. It was multitasking in the 1990s. As I got older, I would read verses to myself on repeat, look away, and try to say it as fast as possible before it slipped away. In high school and college, it was required to write out our memory verses for tests and quizzes and I learned that writing something memorized is not the same as repeating it.

As an adult, memorizing became less of an emphasis in my life. I read the Bible and studied it, but not to the point of being able to quote a passage I was going through. It was now readily available on my phone! I could search for a phrase and get a whole list of verses! Surely we had arrived!

But after becoming a parent and going over verses with my kids on repeat{we no longer have endless tapes}, I became more and more convicted about my previous lack of conviction about Bible memory. I started finding a verse in my daily Bible reading and repeating it over and over throughout the day, trying to seal it in.

When Glenna Marshall, an author and pastor’s wife, posted that she had written a book on memorizing, I preordered it. And when our Bible study decided to read it together, I volunteered to lead the study and write discussion questions. It’s been a true blessing to learn about this topic, encourage each other in our personal memorization habits, and discover why this is a crucial part of the Christian life.

I don’t want to give away Marshall’s points because I want you to purchase the book and read them yourself {wink, wink}. But I will say Bible memory is not as daunting as I believed it to be. She breaks down every excuse for why you haven’t been memorizing and offers so many helpful tips to get you started. She also goes through biblical principles of why Bible memory helps us in various times.

I am currently memorizing Psalm 107. Unlike previous attempts at remembering a jumble of words to repeat as quickly as possible, I’m letting the words soak in and make sense. I’m connecting the thoughts and allowing the truth to grow my love for Who God is.

Bible memorization is for all Christians. Your age, time constraints, stage of life, profession mean nothing. God’s Word is profitable for all people to know, love, and hide in their hearts.

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out

What I've Learned about Creativity

If you asked me ten years ago if I was creative, I would have said no.

To me, creativity meant artistic talent, original ideas, perfection in making things. And I didn’t feel any of those applied to me. I considered myself imaginative. I wrote stories, had conversations with myself, could look at something and see it a different way. But creativity and imagination weren’t the same thing, at least I didn’t think so.

My journey of creativity began as a child. I loved to color, but not draw. Stick figures were my go-to and when I attempted something else, the proportions were always off. I remember watching Bob Ross on Saturday mornings — I even got out paper, paint, and brushes — and becoming more convinced I lacked creativity because my trees never looked happy; they were blobs of green with streaks of brown for a trunk.

I loved to read and write stories so I took that to mean my only form of creative expression was words. I majored in journalism, continued to write, read stacks of books, and journaled and made lists about everything. Free time in my college and early married years continued to be focused on books and writing. Then I went to a ladies church activity where we made jewelry with beads and wire and fancy clips. I bought some supplies at Hobby Lobby and made an assortment of earrings and necklaces, but it didn’t seem creative to me. I was just following someone else’s pattern and idea.

When my daughter was about two, my crafting adventures really took off. She loved all things cutting, pasting, coloring. When my mom would visit, they would sit and watch Pinterest tutorials and create a dozen different animals with paper plates, suncatchers from tissue paper, paper chain snakes, and colorful cards. My daughter’s skills increased with age and soon, she could figure out how to make just about anything she thought up, no instructions needed. 3D flower arrangements, ballerinas that twirled, her own puzzles; I was blown away by her creativity and ability to make her designs a reality.

But it also forced me to think about what creativity means. Even though she was gifted at visualizing how to put something together, she still had to learn to hold scissors, she had to try and crumple and start again. And sometimes she was copying an idea or pattern, but it never looked exactly like the example. Her own take on it was always present.

Around the time my son was entering the craft age, I read “Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.” I’ll admit, I felt like anything BUT a Renaissance mom. I was spending my time on laundry, feeding my family, trying to keep the house clean, learning how to homeschool a kindergartener with a toddler who wouldn’t let me out of sight. I barely managed my favorite pastimes — reading and writing — let alone the variety of pursuits I attributed to a “Renaissance Woman.” However, even though I loved being a mom, I enjoyed being with my kids and watching them learn, I still found in myself a desire to learn something new. And that’s what drew me to the book.

The authors talked about balance, how we create in different ways, the importance of our kids seeing us try…and fail…and try again. So much of it resonated with me. So I decided to step out and try things I’d written off as having no talent for. My daughter and I made cards with scrapbook paper, baked together, tried oil pastel crayons. Some things we tried once and decided to move on but other endeavors we kept coming back to.

That leads us to 2020…the year of infamy. With all our plans and schedules scratched out, the future a question mark, I had trouble concentrating. I wrote in my journal and read but my mind was always wandering. With spring flowers blooming, I found myself drawn toward anything of beauty. I randomly stumbled on a YouTube channel with simple flower doodles. Even with my limit stick figure drawing skills, these flowers looked doable. So I tried and kept watching. The channel included introductions to loose watercolors and that seemed doable too. I ordered the cheapest supplies and started.

I was amazed how relaxing it was! Watching water and color pool and move across the page. I needed practice but I enjoyed every bit of the process, even when my flowers all looked the same. I searched for other beginner watercolor sites, watched videos on color mixing, blending, brush types and holds. I wrote out Bible verses and framed them in watercolor vines and leaves and rosebuds.

My kids watched along and joined in. I wondered what other things I might enjoy that I had never taken the time for, assuming they were too hard for me, that I wasn’t talented enough, that I would be wasting my time trying. I set up a game table in the basement and pulled out a puzzle. Last spring, Tommy cut a section of our background grass out and I filled it with flower seeds, hesitant because I knew nothing about gardening but drawn to the appeal of nature and beauty and outdoors.

Now, I want to say there is such a thing as natural talent. No amount of practicing my violin will turn me into Hilary Hahn. However, unlike how I used to think, you don’t have to master something or be perfect at it to be creative or enjoy the learning process. Part of creativity is experimenting, trying something just to see how it turns out, learning what is fun and relaxing and enjoyable.

I have loved the process of creativity for myself! I feel no pressure to master a certain skill; I just learn and enjoy the process. When people used to ask what my hobbies were, I would say reading. Which, don’t get me wrong, I still love to read. But now I also like to watercolor, doodle, garden {flowers, not vegetables}, work puzzles. I have friends who make amazing crafts and decor, who knit and crochet, bake bread and sweets. My daughter loves origami and drawing and sewing. So many creative outlets!

My husband has been talking about the creation account with our kids during family devotions, and I love to think about how creative God is, to give us the plant, animal, and geographic variety that surrounds us. He made such beauty and diversity, all with a word. When we display our small attempts at making, we are mirroring our Creator. We are acknowledging the design and purpose he has given everything. Out of all the things he created, humans are the only ones capable of creating close to the same way. No, we can’t make something physically appear just by speaking. But we can imagine a project or item or idea and set about forming it, using clay, wool, paper, words. Creating something for our enjoyment and the enjoyment of others.

Now if you ask me if I’m creative, I would say yes. I’m not perfect at any one thing, I haven’t mastered any of my hobbies. But honestly, is that even the point? I’m here to encourage you to pick up a paintbrush, grab some embroidery floss, sharpen a pencil, or buy that French pastry cookbook. Maybe it’ll look more like a Pinterest fail the first few attempts. But find something you love, something that forces you to slow down, and simply try. Creativity is part of everyone, just in different ways.

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

The Growing Need for Patience

Patience, waiting, slowing down. All concepts that seem foreign to our day and age.

Everything is about instant gratification, from movies on demand to music downloads in seconds. We want what we want NOW! In fact if our computer is a little slower than normal at powering up or the Internet has to search for content, we grow frustrated and either complain or abandon the project. I’ve even seen a commercial that was advertising our impatience as a society to promote their product.

Unfortunately, impatience is not a virtue. As usual, the nature that comes to us easily is the one we need to fight against. I'm as guilty as the next person when it comes to impatience. But our lives are surrounded in the necessity to stop and wait. And it's good for us to not have everything we want instantly. It makes us realize we aren't in control, that we need to work and achieve goals over time.

I have recently been convicted that I need to pray for patience. I can't just decide to wait and the struggle is over. I have to continually be seeking God's timing and will and waiting for Him to reveal what He has for me. I know what I want Him to do but it's not up to me. I think we can all remember a time in our lives when we seemed to wait forever before we saw God's leading but now looking back, we realize the timing was perfect and we would have messed it up had we charged through with our plans.

As we get closer to the new year, I've been thinking of things I want to do differently and trying to adopt good habits now to carry over. Prov. 3:5-7 doesn't necessarily say "wait" but it does talk about trust and God guiding our steps.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.

In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.

Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil.

We often forget verse 7 but it’s an important reminder. If we are thinking too highly of ourselves or of our ability to control a situation, we will struggle to demonstrate patience. Gardening has been a wonderful way to help me “grow” {wink, wink} in patience.

Toward the middle of spring, Tommy borrowed a tiller and over turned a section of grass in our yard. He added a metal border to set the boundary and I got on my hands and knees, filling wheelbarrows full of grass chunks that I couldn’t breakdown. I hoed the dirt, leveled it off, and started sprinkling seeds.

I had no reason or pattern to my scattering. I just wanted flowers to fill every corner. I gave the dirt and seeds a gentle sprinkle of water. Each day I wandered out and gazed at my patch of dirt. It wasn’t long before I saw a sprout but it was a weed! Pluck, out it came!

But slowly, gradually, I saw shoots that I recognized as the stalk of a zinnia or cosmos. And they slowly got taller. They gently held up buds waiting to blossom. Finally, at the end of the summer, my little corner garden was one wild expanse of color! But it took patience. And in the waiting I still needed to water the sprouts, I pulled out the weeds, I dug out the grass that slipped under the metal border.

Was it worth it? Definitely! Am I dreaming about next year’s flowers? Absolutely!

Waiting isn’t easy. It’s not a skill that is learned once and never revisited. But it is worth it.

Photo by Daniel Oberg on Unsplash

What is Success?

One of the hardest things in my writing journey is the waiting.

I outline, I write, I research, I pray about, I think about, I talk about. Writing is something I only have small amounts of time to dive in and do yet I’m always thinking about how to phrase sentences, how to word my thoughts so they’ll make sense to others.

I dictate into my phone app while folding laundry, I journal while sitting by my kids at bedtime, I underline and mark quotes while reading. The topics I’m passionate about writing on never leave my mind, even while I’m focusing on other things.

But for all the writing, sharing, and talking, I don’t know how all those thoughts and musings will turn out. Will one person read my blog post? Will the manuscript I’m working on ever be a book in someone’s hands? Will my words make a difference to anyone? There are a lot of writers out there, many who communicate with greater clarity than I do. What will make someone want to read my ramblings?

One thing I’m learning about any creative endeavor — painting, drawing, sewing, writing, music, anything creative — is the effort isn’t wasted, even if it seems like no one cares. And why? Because every creative endeavor I do is changing me. I am learning, even if no one else is coming along for the ride.

Last year, when I challenged myself to draw a doodle a day, I wanted to see if I could actually do it. Could I draw something that others would be able to recognize? I definitely had a few rough ones, doodles that I grimaced at. But through them, I learned. I learned I draw too small, where to put lines, how to make shadows, the realism of plants not being symmetrical. And I took that acquired knowledge and made the next doodle better.

It was just as much about me trying to learn a new skill as me sharing beauty with others. Because not all those efforts were beautiful. But they were still worth doing. And I’m learning that the same is true about writing.

I might not achieve writing success by the world’s standards — a best selling author, published in multiple languages, books in all the stores. Maybe it’ll come down to me self publishing. Maybe it’ll always be this small blog. But the lessons I’m learning, the things I ponder and pray about and research are benefitting me. The things I learn about parenting are helping me steward my motherhood and disciple my children. I’m interacting with friends and women in my immediate circle of influence and learning from them.

Nothing is wasted. Instead of wishing for a different kind of success, I am learning to appreciate these moments and grow from them.

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

Reading Time!

If you know me even the slightest bit, you know I love reading. I love books. I love words and how they come together to make people laugh, cry, think, learn, and experience new things.

The power of the written word is something I think some people underestimate. This might just be me — because I’ve been told I remember way too many things — but I remember sitting on my daybed with a stack of Nancy Drew books and not moving all afternoon. I remember carrying Gone with the Wind outside and sitting under the apple tree for hours reading. I got through the first semester of high school by devouring The Count of Monte Cristo on the wooden swing in our backyard. And I stayed up way too late one night to finish Crime and Punishment as a high school senior.

I have very vivid memories tied to when and where I read certain books. I remember the emotions I felt, the parts that confused me, the French and Russian names I stumbled over. Words and the ideas conveyed through those words have changed and shaped me in ways movies haven’t.

My oldest is ten years old and just as avid a reader as I was/am. She’s definitely stretched herself more than I did at her age; she’s already polished off all the Jane Austen novels, A Little Princess, and is currently deep in Anne of Green Gables, plus reading quite of stack of more recently written books. She set a goal of reading 25 books this year…she just finished her 24th so we’re upping the challenge to 50 books this year!!

I love talking about books with her; what she thought of them, her favorite parts and why, words she didn’t understand in context. I love seeing her mind grow through these book interactions and I’m enjoying the journey with her.

People often ask me how I continue, as a homeschooling mom, to read book after book. It’s not because I’m just sitting on the couch all day! But it is a priority for me. While others binge watch a show, I choose to read. Instead of shopping, I read. It’s not a magic formula. It’s an intentional choice to make time for reading when what I need to do is finished. It’s relaxing and enjoyable for me. Here are a few things that help me, maybe they’ll help you also.

1. Read in the small moments. I’ve said this before, but if I’m just stirring something for dinner in a pot, I will read while I do it! Now if I’m doing something that requires my attention {chopping, measuring, etc.} then I keep my focus on the cooking. But if I’m waiting for rice to finish cooking or the InstantPot to beep, chances are I’ll sneak a few pages in.

2. Read while the kids fall asleep. My younger kids are notorious for not wanting to be alone. They want to know I’m close by, not across the hall, but in their room while they fall asleep. So after I read a bedtime story aloud {I’m currently reading Bear Grylls survival series to my son}, I’ll sit on the floor and get some stretches in while I read. This time is golden. It helps me slow down before bed, the house is quiet, and I can fully focus on what I’m reading.

3. Read during the kids’ activities. When I sit with my children for their piano lesson, I take a book with me. I can still hear what’s going, what we need to work on at home, interact with the teacher as needed, but I’m using the other moments in that hour to read, not scroll my phone.

4. Read, don’t scroll! Which leads us to this point: when you find yourself reaching for your phone when you don’t really need to, pick up a book instead! If you sit in carline, at the sideline of soccer practice, waiting for your curbside grocery delivery, take a book with you. These are moments we have trained ourselves to think of as small, inconsequential blocks of time that aren’t good for anything but catching up on memes and Instagram. I get it. I’ve done it. But honestly, you can read a lot in those moments. If that means you keep one book in your car so you don’t have to remember to grab one, do it!

5. Read what you love. If you struggle to read, start with something that interests you. Whenever I read a historical novel, I will inevitably read a non fiction book about that time period/event after. Even if it’s something I hadn’t been interested in before, experiencing it through the eyes of a novel with characters and a story can make it intriguing enough to make me want more. This happened with the children’s blizzard, the depression, the Spanish flu, immigrants coming through Ellis Island, and the Revolutionary War. I read a novel, my interest was piqued, and I went in search of more.

6. Read a variety. I’m a read-more-than-one-book-at-a-time girl. I usually have a fiction, nonfiction, Christian living, light read, and maybe biography going at the same time. This way, no matter what my mood is, I have something to read!! Some days, if the bad news comes pouring in and the weight of the world is too much, I don’t want to read about the suffering of child laborers in Victorian England, no matter how interesting the story is. On those days, I want a book that encourages me and helps me dig into my Bible study more. If my kids have asked about a certain time period, I may feel like reading about it on my level. If I’ve been curious about how to organize, clean, or decorate my home, if I’m interested in pursuing a new hobby, if I’m studying a certain word or topic in the Bible. There are books and words and answers for all these. And I always have a selection on hand.

I hope this helps you look for the little moments in your day as new possibilities to enjoy a book. I didn’t even cover audiobooks {I really struggle with these because I like to see the words to fully focus on them} but I know people who listen while they drive to work or on errands, while they walk through the neighborhood, or while cleaning the house. If you have a hard time reading but not listening, I highly suggest looking into audiobooks. Most books are available this way now and many libraries offer them for free, either on CD or to download to an audio app.

We never stop learning and books are an excellent way to stretch the mind. If you’re interested in what I’ve read/am reading, check out my GoodReads profile and follow along! You can see all the books {read and want to read} in reverse alphabetical order by author or you can look under certain bookshelves to see what I’ve read/want to read in that category!

Photo by Vladimir Mokry on Unsplash

The Value of Trying

Does anyone else have trouble trying something new?

I have recently been encouraging my kids to try new things: new foods, new activities, new skills. And I’m always met with at least some resistance. “Why try something new?” they ask. “What does it matter?”

To be honest, I’m sometimes right there with them. I would rather make a familiar recipe than try something that might fail. I would rather spend my time on something I know I love than be disappointed when I spend all my time attempting a new skill.

It’s not easy to try.

And yet, it’s so important. Without trying something new, we would never grow. We wouldn’t discover new interests or abilities. We wouldn’t learn the value of sometimes failing. Life becomes boring without stretching ourselves on occasion.

But always there’s that fear of failing. No one wants to fail. No one seeks out discouragement. And we often believe the best way to avoid those pitfalls is to not step out of our comfort zones. But that’s not healthy. While we shouldn’t be reckless and simply run into new things for the sake of doing new things, we also shouldn’t be scared of what might happen if we try.

It’s easy to be controlled by fear without realizing it. We might not feel fearful or afraid, and yet our motivation for what we do or don’t do is based on those feelings. Personally, I’ve hung back from certain things because I was afraid of seeming flighty. I know people who have jumped in and tried something, but it only lasted for a few months before they left that and moved to the next thing. While I would admire their confidence in trying new things, I would wonder if they knew what they were really after. If it was more about thrill and the excitement for something new than really wanting to learn or create something of sustainable value.

I didn’t want to jump from thing to thing. So in my indecision and quest to only do what I would stick with, I didn’t do anything. Didn’t learn any new skills, didn’t try anything away from my comfort zone. I was allowing the fear of failure and what people would think of my efforts to keep me from experiencing anything new.

My turning point came when I started following Emily Lex on Instagram. She challenged herself to do a small watercolor painting everyday for a year to improve her drawing and painting. Everyday she posted her paintings and encouraged others to try something they were interested in. I started my Doodle a Day challenge and began watching/practicing watercolor.

When you’ve told yourself you aren’t as good as XYZ or your efforts aren’t as nice as ABC…it’s difficult to see the value in trying AND showing others. As strange as it seems, it takes courage to try something new, knowing you won’t be as good as someone else…at least not in the beginning.

Something I remind my kids {and myself} is that everyone starts as a beginner. Those who we look at and admire — those who play beautiful music, write moving stories, create breathtaking art, pipe perfect frosting roses — they started by trying, attempting something that caught their interest or found enjoyment in. What we don’t see are the hours of practice to play a perfect sonata, the stacks of journals riddled with ideas and words, the paintings that failed, the frosting that fell and cakes that didn’t rise. No one makes progress without trying and no one achieves beauty without failing a few times.

Instead, we should be willing to fail AND intent on learning from that failure. Trying, falling, trying again, and again, and again. But there’s value in it all. In the success at the end and the trying along the way.

Photo by John Mark Arnold on Unsplash

Christmas Joy

It's December! 

My children have been eagerly eating their way through their advent calendars and counting down the days. 

I've gotten all the shopping done and planned the baking. 

In some ways, it's easy to be joyful as Christmas approaches. All the memories and fun we just do once a year, watching my kids exclaim with excitement over decorations and lights and extra candy. Thinking about the surprises waiting, wrapped under the tree.

But there's also a lingering sadness. Another year almost gone. Missing loved ones who have passed. Watching the world celebrate Christmas but missing the real meaning. 

Is it possible for joy and sorrow to merge? Can we mourn the difficulties of the year yet still feel joy at what's around? 

These emotions are not exclusive from each other. Though opposites, we can express both feelings. Think of the first Christmas. Joy that the savior was born, sorrow that he was born to die. Joy for God's fulfilled promise, sorrow that he would be rejected. 

In a broken world, we will live with the pull between these. 

And in a way, that tension is because of us. We needed a Savior because sin couldn't be overcome by us. We sometimes sing "Love came down on Christmas day" but it was joy also. The shepherds displayed joy and excitement even though they didn't fully comprehend what that baby meant. But the reason Jesus was born was sorrowful; he needed to die in our place so we could enjoy eternal life with God.

Instead of trying to ignore one emotion and amplify the other, both can be experienced this season. Family and friends who aren't here to celebrate can be remembered and mourned while rejoicing that the birth of Jesus was a step toward death being forever conquered.

We have joy in annual traditions and looking ahead to a new year while regretting parts of the past year. 

This tension is part of life in a world tainted by sin. But it doesn't make the miracle of Christ's birth less wondrous, less important, or something to pass by. Joy and sorrow meet, in a manger and then at the cross.

Photo by Mel Poole on Unsplash.

Things I've Learned from Homeschooling

We have finished our fifth year of homeschooling!

Even though I knew I wanted to homeschool my kids before we even had kids, each year that we successfully complete is a triumph but also kind of amazing! Homeschooling is an opportunity that I am very grateful for but it’s not the easiest option, it’s not always the most convenient option, and it’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly or flippantly. It’s definitely a choice that we make every year and go into with much prayer.

I’ve had so many people ask me about homeschooling and how we do it year after year. To be honest, we look at just the year in front of us and plan our best for that year’s needs. I’m also changing routines and aspects of our school days each year based on what worked the previous year, what didn’t, what my kids are interested in, how they learn best, and how they’re developing. Learning is not a static process and I don’t treat our school that way.

Although I love homeschooling and recommend it without reservation, I know people’s situations are different, there isn’t one answer to good education, and I try to never disparage another parent’s decision about education. That said, I want to share some things I’ve learned about homeschooling and present an honest truth from my own experiences.

I don’t have to know everything before I teach my children. One of the most humbling things about teaching is realizing all the things you’ve forgotten. Especially as my oldest gets into complicated math problems, more complex literature and grammar rules, and deeper science theories, I find myself with a niggling in my mind that at one time I did learn these things; I just don’t completely remember them. So I have to review, work a few long division problems, watch some YouTube videos about diagramming sentences, and move forward with my daughter.

Not everyday is the same. Because I like planning and routine, I used to set out with grand plans for everything we would do each hour of our school day. But those aren’t practical for us or very sustainable. I know some homeschooling families are much more structured but one of the beauties of homeschooling is making it fit with your family. Sometimes history takes us 15 minutes, other days we’ll stop after 45. If something is resonating and sparking questions, we’ll dwell on it a little more. When my daughter was learning about sand being heated to make glass, she asked about the process and we watched a few YouTube videos that showed the glass making process. That led to a conversation about recycling, how things are recycled, and another video on that topic. We are flexible and I’m thankful for the option.

Learning can look different than books. I love reading and beautiful illustrations and diagrams and maps. To me, books are great treasures for learning about things. They can involve your imagination and emotions and teach you in ways other mediums can’t. There’s nothing like holding a book in your hands and being transported. But I’ve found my kids can put into practice the things they’ve studied in so many different ways. By giving them Legos, blocks, pipecleaners, buttons, and a host of other ordinary things, they can build and imagine in such a diverse way. It’s one thing to read how a bridge supports weight or how people lived in castles and another to actually build a structure that stands and design your own town with everything people need to survive. But it is all learning.

I’m not strong enough. The hardest days in homeschooling are when I’m frantic, distracted with worries and anxious, and haven’t read my Bible or fixed my mind on biblical truth. Anything I try to push through and muster the strength for on my own leaves me frustrated, tired, and ready to give up. Even though we are the teacher for our children and it feels like a weight and responsibility we alone need to bear, we were never meant to do it alone. I love James 1:5, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” God has promised to give us the wisdom we need to fulfill what he has called us to. We have but to ask, yet how often do we attempt to power through on our own? It’s not weakness to admit we need grace and help. It’s living in humility.

Life is about learning. Homeschooling is a humbling, growing, stretching blessing that I don’t take for granted. I’m thankful to teach my children and learn alongside them. Every year that I homeschool I find out more about God and my children and myself. It’s a unique and remarkable journey that I don’t regret.

Photo by Kimberly Farmer on Unsplash.

Learning from Regret

We all have things we look back on and wish were different. We regret saying or not saying something, being too busy for this person or ignoring that event. In the moment, our lives seem so busy and full and how could we possibly set it aside to make time for this other thing? We get in a heated debate and spill everything we’ve been thinking for years and walk away.

But then the moment passes. We realize how our words sounded or the unique opportunity we missed. And there are regrets. Because we are human and we aren’t perfect, we will make mistakes. And we will regret decisions we made or ignored. It’s not the regret itself to watch out for but rather what we do with it.

I’ve been regretting a lot recently. In May, a friend of mine passed away after a fight with cancer. It was a hard loss for many reasons but because of COVID, I had been unable to visit her the last few months of her life. We had set up a time but then got isolation orders. Over texts, I said as soon as it was safe, I wanted to see her. But she took a sudden turn and that safe time never came.

It’s difficult to not sort through in my mind all the times I could have seen her before March. We both had busy schedules and kids but surely there was an afternoon I could have texted and dropped by. Regret is a heavy burden to carry.

The truth in regret is that no matter what we do, we can’t change what’s already happened. We can apologize for words spoken hastily but they will always have been said. We can mentally rearrange past appointments to see how we could have made room for all that we missed but it doesn’t change the fact that we missed it. The moment is over.

But regret can teach us to make different decisions in the future and not repeat the mistakes of the past. If we know certain topics trigger anger and we have trouble communicating on those issues in a kind way, it may be best to step away from those conversations until we calm down. If someone pops in our mind, take a moment to text or call them. If we know we’ll be close to a friend’s neighborhood for other errands, call before and ask they’ll be home for a quick stop. Leave a note, cookies, flowers….

The older I get the more I realize relationships take effort but they are so valuable. Even for an introvert like myself, I love hearing how my friends are doing, how I can pray for them. I enjoy sending notes and special treats just because they were on my mind and I wanted to encourage them. Yes, all this takes time. Yes, it takes effort and planning. But I have never regretted doing it. And it often encourages me just as much as the person I was reaching out to.

I know there will always be regrets on this side of heaven. But I want to intentionally try to lessen them. I want to learn to make time and reach out and watch my comments. I want to seize the time I’ve been given and make it count in the lives of others.

Photo by Rodion Kutsaev on Unsplash

Kids Loving Books

Summer is almost here! Outdoor activities are calling!

I love summer. Flowers blooming, kids laughing, sitting outside, fresh breezes blowing. As a homeschool mom, summer gives me a chance to do things in the morning besides school. And those things are usually reading and researching for our next school year!

It’s no secret that I love books. Reading is one of my favorite ways to unwind and relax and spend a day. I don’t go in for audiobooks much — I need to see the words to really follow along. But going to the library is one of my favorite past times and it’s something I love sharing with my kids.

I get a lot of questions from people about choosing books for their kids or getting their kids to love reading. And summer is a great time to start a reading habit! Even though I love having my kids play outside during the summer months, it’s also important to keep learning. We make time everyday for books. Sometimes it’s sitting on the couch before dinner, sometimes it’s sitting in the shade outside taking a break with a snack and Kool-Aid. And sometimes it’s right before bed to help calm down.

For the next few blogs, I’m going to be sharing all things about kids and books. This first post is to hopefully help you get your kids reading! Let’s start with some tips for getting your kids interested in reading and for making time everyday for it.

1) Let them find what interests them. When my oldest was really little, I read the books that I loved as a child or simple board books. As she got older and started reading by herself, her preferences started showing. So I asked her what things interested her about the books she chose. A certain time period? A certain animal? Country? With her input, I searched Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and the library for books that might appeal {you can do this from home!}. On one of our library trips {before COVID}, I showed her some of the books I had found. She picked what she wanted to try. I’ll be honest, there were some books I really wanted her to read that she declined. But I knew I couldn’t force her to love the same things I do. And I can always try to introduce it again when she’s older.

2) Introduce fiction and non fiction. I’ve been amazed at how much my six year old gravitates to non fiction. He wants books about animals and different countries and science more than anything else. With the exception of a few super hero books, he always wants to check out non fiction books first. Even non fiction kids books are usually harder to read than fiction because they use words kids aren’t used to seeing or hearing. But I don’t mind reading the books aloud if it catches his interest and teaches him something.

3) Ask them about what they read. This is huge and, I think, under appreciated. When my daughter started reading American Girl books, it opened a whole new dialogue of conversation between us. I read many of those books when I was her age and remembered the characters and stories enough to comment. So when Kirsten’s friend died of cholera, my daughter wanted to know what the disease was, how she could have gotten sick, etc. When Molly met a friend from England, we talked about children having to leave their families because it wasn’t safe to stay in their homes. When she started reading Horse Diaries and Dog Diaries, series that weren’t around when I was younger, I deliberately asked about the horses and dogs, the breeds, what they did, why they had a book written about them. She never ran out of things to tell me. Kids are people {duh, right?!} and they enjoy knowing others are interested in hearing from them. I’ve found sometimes kids have questions they are dying to ask but they don’t know exactly how to open the conversation. If we ask, look out!

4) Make the time. We can’t force our kids to love reading but we can give them opportunities without them feeling like they are missing out on something more fun:

When you start making lunch or dinner, call kids to the couch for a ‘wind down’ time before the meal. Have a stack of books for them to look at. If your kids can’t read yet, encourage them to look at the pictures and guess what the story is about and promise to read it together after dinner.

During the hottest part of the day, call the kids to the shade with a snack and a book to read aloud. Even my eight year old still enjoys listening to me read. Sometimes she asks me to read aloud to her while she colors or draws.

Find a book or series you can read as a family at a specific time of day. Choose what works for your schedule. I know some families who read together after breakfast or dinner. We usually do it before bed. We’ve read two Chronicles of Narnia, Pilgrim’s Progress, several Bible story books, and Bible devotional books.

A big reality is that it won’t be picture perfect, especially when you’re first starting. Little kids will roam off to play, big kids will roll their eyes. Don’t give up! It takes consistency and time. We have a basket where we keep all our library books, fully accessible to everyone. They know they can look at them anytime.

In my next post, I’ll talk more about choosing books and and building your own library.

One of the things I tell my kids is that when you know how to read, you can learn anything. It truly is a beautiful and wonderful gift.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Fostering Creativity in Children

We’ve been talking a lot about creativity and helping ourselves get creative and why it’s important. For the last post about creativity {for now!} I want to encourage you to help your children be creative.

This might seem strange because most children naturally enjoy pretend play, stories, and art. But there are ways we as adults sometimes hinder their efforts or maybe even keep them from trying something. So here are some tips I’ve learned - sometimes the hard way - with my kids.

1. Be encouraging. Yes, your 3 year old isn’t going to draw a cat perfectly - or anything resembling a cat. But if you only point out how funny it looks, what he should have done, or ways to improve the next drawing, your child is going to stop wanting to try. Just as we enjoy positive remarks about our attempts at things, we need to encourage our children that just attempting something is a triumph.

2. Let them try. When my kids are trying something new, I give them space to experiment before I jump in and tell them how they should do it. Failing and seeing what doesn’t work is just as much a part of learning and creating as doing a perfect job. I remember my son getting so frustrated because his block tower kept falling over. But it was because he started with the shortest block and tried to pile the long ones on top. Instead of building a tower for him, I asked him to watch how I started mine. I choose the longest blocks and made a good foundation then built up one level with the short ones. He looked, considered, and then grabbed the long pieces and started again, this time with success. But letting our kids fail at first isn’t bad; it doesn’t make us mean parents. It gives our kids a chance to discover and try and experiment. Who knows, they might come up with a way to do something we would never think of!

3. Messes happen. There are some activities that I refused for awhile because I didn’t want to mess with the mess. Painting with kids?! No way! Baking? Flour everywhere! But I have since changed my thinking on this. No, we don’t do finger painting everyday but when we do, the joy and excitement and thrill on their faces makes all the paper towel cleanup worth it. Yes, we get flour and sugar and melted butter on every kitchen surface but they really aren’t that much more messy than I am when I cook! Mess is part of life, especially a life with kids. But when you look back on a project or they remember an afternoon of creativity, none of you will remember the mess. You will remember the finished product and joy.

4. Give them access. We never know what will click with our kids. When they are born, there isn’t a manual that says, ‘This child will enjoy music and paper crafts’ or ‘She loves painting more than writing.’ We have to expose them to different things and see what sticks. In our family, we haven’t found an art project or craft that my oldest daughter doesn’t love and excel at: drawing, coloring, painting, any type of craft, designing. She also enjoys playing piano and writing her own songs. My son likes to paint his own creations but not color in a coloring book, he considers the subject of the craft {superhero or animal} more important than the actual craft, he’s beginning to enjoy music especially his ukulele. But he’s most creative in his pretend play - battling villains, building cities with Legos, playing restaurant. While there are limits to what we can do {time, money, resources} we shouldn’t limit them based on what we would choose them to do.

5. Teach them how to learn. What I mean by this is sometimes our creativity is unleashed after watching someone else. The reason I started learning handlettering and drawing flowers is because I saw greeting cards on Pinterest that looked nice but doable and I thought it would be fun to try. But just looking at the designs, I had no idea how to recreate them. I checked YouTube and found a channel to subscribe to with great tutorials. But my kids sometimes struggle with the concept of watching someone do a project that they have ideas about. So we’ve been talking about how learning requires listening and after we learn the basic concept of how to do something, we can use our own creativity to expand the original idea. I believe showing our kids the steps and process behind any kind of art helps them learn other subjects and abilities.

6. Do it together. When my kids were younger, it was obvious that all crafting would be done with me. They needed help cutting, gluing, finding needed materials. I was not about to set them and their imaginations loose with no adult filter of reality. But as they became more independent and more able to function without me, I started drifting off the scene. They still need to ask before using certain things {glitter, paints, stamp pads, Elmer’s glue} but paper, pencils, and scissors are readily available. But it’s amazing how often they want me involved, even if it is something they can do on their own. They want me to watch or they ask what color I would like. So I encourage you to sit with your kids as they create. Even if you aren’t assisting with the process, ask them to explain what they are doing, why they chose those colors or that paper. Let them know that you are interested, that you care about their creative endeavors.

I could go on but we’ll leave it at this for now. The big thing I want to encourage you with is to not be afraid of creativity, in yourself or your kids. Learn something new, try a project, create something together and have fun. You’ll probably see a new side to your kids and maybe even yourself.

Photo by Joshua Eckstein on Unsplash

Finding Our Creativity

I wrote last week about why creativity is important. {If you didn’t see that post, click here to read.} So today I want to piggyback off of that thought and address you specifically. Are you creative? Well, if you read last week’s post you know the answer is YES! Everyone has a creative side - just in different ways.

I hear adults say all the time, “I’m not creative. I could never do the things you do.” But I want to stop you right there. As I mentioned above, there are differences of creativity. Some people look at a room and can visualize the perfect colors, styles, furniture for the space. Others see a collection of objects and know how to fit them together to make something. Maybe it’s looking in the pantry and throwing together a gourmet meal or a beautifully decorated cake. Or planting just the right flowers to fill a space with a variety of height and color. Or maybe it’s following the directions and pattern from someone else but putting your own flair on the finished product.

The product of creativity is all around us. But most of us still insist, “I’m not creative.” I believe much of this is thanks to the internet. It’s hard to consider your own efforts when you look on YouTube or Pinterest and see the amazing things people are able to create. We immediately think we could never do that {I’m guilty of this also} and bemoan the fact we didn’t get a creative gene.

But wait! We did! We are all capable of some form of creativity - even if we feel like we’re all thumbs. Maybe we have to practice at things that come naturally to others. Maybe our product will never look good enough to sell on Etsy. But we can do it! I offer myself as an example.

I was always more into the writing creative process than the art/craft/drawing creative process. And somehow my creativity with words seemed less stunning than a watercolor painting done by a friend. But as my daughter got older, it became clear that she was going to be a crafter. Coloring, drawing, cutting, and gluing were fun for her. While she did dress up and play with dolls, those things always led to a craft {“I need to make a paper rug for the dollhouse”, “I want to make a tiara”, “Let’s make a paperchain necklace”, etc.}. I found myself attempting a whole list of things I never thought I’d be creative enough to do because my daughter wanted to try. And I wanted to encourage her interests.

Now I’m not a master crafter and it doesn’t bring me quite the joy it brings my oldest. But I have discovered ways to let my creative side out that I never tried before being a #momofacraftqueen .

So what is stopping you? Even if you feel your creative brain is running on empty, I challenge you to give it a try! And let me say that being creative doesn’t mean being the first to come up with something. I am terrible at coming up with paper plate craft ideas, but my kids love making things from paper plates. A quick Pinterest search gives us loads of options of animals to make by cutting paper plates just so and then we get creative by decorating them how we choose! Let me encourage you with a few things I’ve done.

1. Start with coloring. The adult coloring phase is still going strong! You can find books with detailed pictures or just geometric shapes. Grab a book and some Sharpies, gel pens, or colored pencils and go to town!

2. Watch tutorials on YouTube. You can really get sucked in here! Think of something you want to learn {knitting, painting, doodling, sewing…} and search for “XYZ for beginners” or “Learning XYZ”. I’ve watched several tutorials on handlettering, watercolors, and drawing flowers. I’m no expert yet, but these gave me a start to begin practicing.

3. Ask. If you know someone who does something well, ask if they can teach you. I recently asked a friend if she can teach me and my daughter to knit. This becomes a fun time together and a chance to learn something new.

4. Start journaling. Even if you don’t know what to write, even if you think you have nothing to say, grab a beautiful, inexpensive journal from Marshall’s or Ross and just write! Write about what happened today, what you learned from your Bible reading, funny things the kids said or the dog did. Describe the weather or what you plan to do tomorrow. Once you start, it’ll become easier.

I could go on but you get the idea. The only thing holding your creativity back is you not trying. Even if you can’t visualize a project on your own and you need directions start to finish, you are making it and that makes it unique. Don’t let the fear of failing keep you from trying. Made in God’s image we have the ability to create for his glory. And when we do something we never thought we could, we can be quick to bring all the credit to him.

Photo by Elena Tudor on Unsplash

The Importance of Creativity

One of the joys of parenting is watching your children express themselves in different creative ways. When I was little I never really considered myself creative. I loved to pretend, I loved to dress up, but I was never good at drawing or painting and I considered those the ultimate form of creativity.

Once I grew up and watched my children - especially my oldest daughter who is very crafty - I realized that creativity takes all forms. It is not just painting or drawing; it is anything that you can create. Creativity is seeing in cooking, in decorating, in writing, and even in gardening.

I think sometimes as adults we lose the creative part of ourselves. Maybe we've tried something and failed so many times that we feel like it's pointless to keep on trying. We don't have the same wonder and excitement that children have when they first try something new. Maybe we've been told that we are not good at something or we feel we can’t do it as well as other people and so why should we even put forth the effort? But I think we need to remember that the God we serve is creative. He created everything that is around us: the seasons, the universe, the varying landscapes and ecosystems, the animals. I think when we give up on being creative, we are not glorifying him in all the ways that we could.

Don’t see the connection? Think about this. We read in the opening chapter of the Bible, “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Gen. 1:26-27) We are all created in the image of God and he set us apart from everything else he had created. This means we have a soul, the ability to choose right or wrong, emotions, and creativity.

We are also told in I Cor. 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.“ Whatever we do, even if we don’t think it amounts to much or matters, we are to do everything for God’s glory. I think one of the great examples of this is composer Johann Sebastian Bach. At the end of each piece of music he composed is written the phrase, “Soli Deo Gloria” - glory to God alone. Some, but not all, of Bach’s music is sacred but he saw everything he did as being a way to glorify his Creator.

I think it is also important that we encourage our children to be creative even if it is in different ways then we are comfortable in ourselves. So how, if we do not feel creative the same way as our children, do we foster and encourage their creative process? I’ll address ideas for this in a later post. But for now, consider yourself creative! God created you in his image with a unique ability to glorify him! How will you practice that today?

Photo by Tim Arterbury on Unsplash

Shine Your Light

My family went to see a huge display of Christmas lights last week. I love the gentle twinkling that hangs from houses, trees, and bushes this time of year. As we passed under a tree with branches tightly wound with dozens of strands of lights, I looked up and the lights seemed as numerous as the stars.

In Matthew 5:14-16 we read, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

We are told from the beginning that Christians are like a light and like a city on a hill, we are not hidden. Let’s consider this picture for a minute. Have you ever seen a satellite image of the world at night? {If you haven’t, Google ‘world satellite at night’} It’s easy to point out where the cities are compared to the less inhabited places because the cities are glowing! Even from space, they can not be hidden or mistaken for farm land.

This shows that light can not be hidden when surrounded by darkness. Verse 15 points out that when you light a candle, you don’t place it under a basket but rather on a stand where the light can spread to the corners of the house and allow people to see. To be honest, why would you want to hide light and dwell in darkness? The point of having light in the darkness is so you see things - Legos that might hurt your tender feet, a wall you might run into, a person running through the neighborhood. Light allows us to function in dark places that would otherwise trip us up.

The purpose of this analogy is brought to our attention in verse 16. In the same way the light penetrates the darkness, we are to let our Christian witness shine. While the world tells us one thing, we are to follow God and do what he has instructed in the Bible. And when others see these good works we do and notice we are different than the world, ultimately the glory bypasses us and goes to God! Have you ever thought how God uses us - frail, sinful humans that we are - and we are able to give glory to him for all we are able to accomplish?! And others can give glory to God through what he allows us to do!

Have you ever noticed how the darkness is dispersed by just one little bulb? The lights we saw last week numbered in the millions and the night around us was bright enough to read in but even if there had been one light, the darkness would have been changed. Things would have been seen - maybe not from space but definitely from the street.

Sometimes I think we grow weary of being 'the only light’ around. The darkness of the world feels so thick and close around us. We wonder what difference our one little light will make and we hide our witness under a basket. But God can use one willing light to shine and make a difference. Maybe just in your family or workplace. Maybe never in a group of thousands but in a section of dozens. God is not limited by our limitations. Shine your light faithfully for him. Let others see how you follow him. And give him glory for what comes next.

Photo by Fred Heap on Unsplash

One Thing All Children Need

Last week was Thanksgiving and we were able to spend several days with my in-laws and my kids got to play with some of their cousins. As I was talking about mom-stuff with one of my sisters-in-law, we started talking about the different personalities emerging from our growing children. Some of them are more sensitive, others confident, some defiant, some more helpful.

We agreed that we wouldn’t change our kids, even if we could, and it was interesting to see them all interact over three days. One thing we talked about a little was building the confidence of the ones that needed it. And that made me think about a part of childhood I think it’s easy for adults to overlook. Children need encouragement and praise.

Sometimes it’s easy to look at what our children show us - a chore complete, a craft designed, a room cleaned - and it doesn’t meet with what we would consider a good job. So we tell them what’s wrong with the picture they painted, the spots on the window they missed, the wrinkles not straightened on the bedcovers. Instead of looking at the job they did complete and the accomplishment they did do, we are often too quick to point out what is wrong with their effort.

So why is this a problem? Think about it in your present life situation. Do you enjoy always having the negative of your efforts pointed out? Do you enjoy hearing, “Good, but not good enough”? Would you like your boss or spouse or friend to always tell you what you are doing wrong? I believe if we are honest we have all been in that position and found it uncomfortable and frustrating. Why try our best when we know it will be picked apart and all our work will be devalued?

For the Christian, we know that God has created everyone and given everyone talents and abilities to use for his glory. Children are learning not only how to do things like chores and drawing and reading and serving, they are learning how they can use their particular talents in a broader sense to serve God. But if their tries and efforts are constantly ignored or corrected without any mention of well done, good try, etc, they will soon stop trying and maybe think they aren’t good enough at anything to contribute to.

Before I go on, I want to point out I’m not advocating we never tell children no or instruct them in how to do things. Children need guidance and help, especially when learning a new skill or task. And many times a firm no is needed to keep children from danger they don’t see or recognize. However, it is possible to guide and instruct, to correct and rebuke in a loving way and with some positive remarks.

I struggle with this sometimes. It’s not easy to put aside our first reaction and choose something more loving. But one recent event keeps coming to mind that taught me so much about the importance of choosing encouraging words over critical ones.

My children have their own bathroom with a large counter and mirror. I have occasionally given them the Windex and papertowels and asked them to clean their area. One day my four year old son came running to get me with pure excitement on his face. He took my hand and dragged me into their bathroom with a triumphant point at the mirror. You couldn’t see your reflection for all the smears and smudges. He quickly explained that he saw the mirror was dirty, grabbed his spray bottle full of water, and went to town, wiping it all with a washcloth. My first thought was to be upset that he had created more work for me. But then I looked at his face - practically glowing with pride - and I changed my response. With a hug, I told him I appreciated his desire to help without being asked but then I reminded him we use a special spray bottle to clean mirrors. I took what he would need into the bathroom and he cleaned the whole mirror again, just as excited as before. After another hug, I told him he could clean the bathroom whenever he wanted but to ask me for the special spray first.

Children really do thrive with just a few words of encouragement. A thank you or good job can go so far. And you don’t have to only praise your kids! If you work with children in sports, school, church, etc, recognize their efforts and congratulate them on a job or a try well done.

I’m afraid sometimes we withhold praise because we don’t want our children to think they are perfect or above others. But trust me, my children know they are sinners, that Jesus is the only perfect person, and that everyone on earth is created equal in God’s eyes. But I also want them to know I see their efforts, I appreciate their tries and attempts with new things. I never want them to give up because of something negative I said to them.

How can you encourage your children today?

Photo by Susan Holt Simpson on Unsplash

Why We Homeschool

Recently someone asked if I homeschool because it’s easier than getting my kids to traditional school. I had to smother a laugh. Yes, I’m glad I don’t have to shuffle kids into the car each morning and brave the pickup line each afternoon. Yes, we love taking vacations when everyone else is tucked behind a desk. But our decision to homeschool is so much deeper than these reasons touch on. And it is far from easy.

**Before I begin let me say that how you choose to school your children is a personal choice. Homeschool is not for everyone and within homeschool there are various types {free schooling, classical, structured, online, etc}. My point in this post is not to shame anyone for choosing different than we have chosen, nor is it to say our way is best. But whenever people find out we teach our kids at home I get two immediate reactions: 1) people think I’m amazing and super patient for doing it, 2) they want to know why we chose to educate this way. So I figured a blog post would dispel some of the rumors of my patience and answer the incredulous question “Why?” Keep in mind different families homeschool for different reasons. Some of what I have below may not apply to all who school this way.**

Last week, I was explaining the hundreds place to my older daughter while cutting out a paper bat for my son and holding my nine month old who happened to be screaming in my ear. At that moment, our decision to school at home was anything but easy or desirable. When we left our little schoolroom - basically a walkin closet - I asked myself why I was doing this. And it wasn’t the first time I’d asked.

I’m going to first address the reasons people assume we homeschool but are false. These are things people have said about our decision but are not true for us.

-We don’t trust other people. This is almost laughable. I enjoy it when my kids can learn from others. For three years we were involved in a Co-Op and most of the time I was not with my kids for those three hours every week. Giving my kids the opportunity to sit in a classroom and listen and raise their hands was great for them. They also take music lessons and self defense classes from people outside our family.

-We only teach what we believe. This is a big one. My kids know about evolution, other religions, ancient mythology. We don’t shelter them from the world. But we do get to teach them through a biblical worldview lens, answer their questions without going through a third party, and choose when to introduce topics. Anyone will tell you children develop at different rates. So being able to see what my individual child can process and grasp and choose when to start talking about evolution vs creation, etc is a huge benefit of homeschool. And I’ll be honest, some of the questions they randomly ask from talking to friends, watching Netflix, or reading still catch me off guard. But I’m glad we have the framework of learning together daily to approach each question in turn.

-It’s less expensive to homeschool. Again, completely false. For two years we participated in ‘public online school’ where I was sent all the material and could teach it how I wanted and it was completely free. However, we had to do state testing, online meetings with a teacher, and keep to the district school schedule. The benefit was FREE!! But we decided we wanted to choose curriculum and my daughter was tired of having everything online. So now we purchase books, manipulatives, learning resources, etc that we want to use in addition to paying our state taxes for education.

So now that I’ve covered why my husband and I DON’T homeschool, why DO we?

-I love learning with them. It can be draining to go over the same concepts day after day and wonder when we’ll move on, but once it clicks I love seeing the pride and joy they take in it. And it really stretches me also. I have to change how I explain something or find another example that maybe will help them better. And their curiosity about things keeps me learning and exploring and seeing the world through new eyes. My kids love animals and over the last few years, I have learned more random animal facts and watched more nature programs than I thought possible.

-We get to learn together. My son doesn’t realize it but he knows more at four years old than I did. Because he has never liked to be alone, for the last three years he’s been sitting in on school with his older sister. When we read, he’s right there answering questions about the scene and characters. When we do science experiments he wants to watch the “volcano” explode and plant his own bean seed and everything. The other day, we were reading about Annie Sullivan and Helen Keller and he closed his eyes and covered his ears, trying to imagine a life lived in darkness and silence. Knowledge doesn’t have age limits.

-We can take time for extra things. My daughter loves crafts and art. So we’ve been learning about different artists every other week and doing a craft project. Since she’s taking piano lessons, we’ve also been learning about composers. I’ve already mentioned our animal fascination and we regularly check out the live animal cameras at the San Diego Zoo and a few other places, just to see what the pandas in Washington DC might be doing on a Wednesday afternoon. With online resources and YouTube, it’s amazing what we can learn about. And that doesn’t include our library trips!!

-I get to be with my kids all day. Moment of honesty: sometimes this introvert wishes I had a day to myself. I am far from perfect in my attitude and cheerfulness and joy every moment of everyday. But being a stay at home homeschooling mom has grown me and stretched me and taught me a lot about myself. I’m not as patient as I would like, I like things done a certain way, I definitely need grace and strength from God. When I look back on each day, I’m amazed at all the little blessings I saw. My daughter reading to her brother for Book It points, my son tracing his name with master concentration, the older kids playing with the baby and setting the table. They sometimes fight - we deal with hurt feelings and bad attitudes and complaining just like everyone else - but I am there to help them apologize and forgive and start a dance party. Though the days be hard I’m thankful this is what we’ve chosen.

As I said before, people choose how to educate their children for different reasons and our choice is not the right one for everyone. You may start with one type of school but switch as your family changes. But whatever your choice - public, charter, homeschool, private, online - remember that you as a parent are your children’s biggest influence. Even if they aren’t with you most of the day, get into their lives, learn with them, laugh with them, teach them. God placed your children in your family for you to disciple them. Pray for these gifts from God and never take a moment for granted.

For more reasons I love homeschooling, check out this post.

Photo by Evan Kirby on Unsplash

Four Reasons I Love to Homeschool

It's that amazing time of year when school ends. You survived, your kids survived, it was a great year.

Regardless of your schooling method for your children there's always a sigh of relief when one grade is finished and you can take a breather before diving in again.

For some, this summer will be spent evaluating the past year and deciding if a change in schooling is right for your family. And maybe you're considering homeschool. This fall we'll be going into our third year of homeschooling and I'd like to share a few benefits I've noticed.

1. We can vacation anytime. Our state suggests doing school 180 days - which is what public schools do - but puts no qualifications on when those days should occur. So we can vacation when it's the down time for popular places. We can also take breaks for visiting family when it's convenient without playing catch up.

2. I know what my kids are learning and how they learn best. Every child is different and this year I figured out my son learns completely different than my daughter did at his age. While they both are visual, hands on learners, my daughter could do coloring and worksheets all day. My son got bored within a month of starting preschool. But he loves counting, sorting, building, and books. With that knowledge, I won't buy him preschool workbooks for K4 this year but we'll get lots of library books, work alphabet puzzles, sort shapes and colors. Also, my daughter enjoys crafting and remembers lessons better if we make something or color as review. So we'll be adding some crafts where we can to reinforce what we talk about.

3. I get to watch them learn. Teaching can be frustrating but it's also a joy when you notice the light turn on and see your children thrive. The fact that you help them reach that point makes it even sweeter. It also teaches you as the parent patience like nothing else will!

4. I get to learn things with my children. I've heard people say they could never homeschool because they don't remember grammar rules or long division, let alone be able to teach it. But the great thing is you get to learn it again as you teach your children. I don't remember anything about how my mom taught me to read or phonics rules but as my daughter and I went over the curriculum together, it slowly came back. And there are some things we've talked about that I don't think I ever learned about animals and geography.

I know homeschooling isn't for everyone. Children learn differently and thrive in different environments. But if you are considering homeschool, don't be intimidated or overwhelmed or scared. There are so many reasons to give it a try!

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash