The Blessing of Friendship

For all my introverted ways, I need friends.

I have had some incredible friends in my life and still do. I’ve had friendships that hurt and disappointed and didn’t last. But I’ve also had relationships that are still going strong decades later.

What is it about friends that is so vital? When we face things like the 2020 quarantine and forced isolation, why is it so hard, even for a person who would rather sit and read than party?

One essential piece is that God created us to need community. Have you considered the one another statements from the Bible? It’s impossible to live those out in solitude. We are to be encouraging and exhorting one another in the Lord. We also see in Proverbs that we can sharpen each other through our friendships (27:17).

Friends allow us to remember and reflect on things from the past. I have friends who, with a simple statement they immediately know what I’m referencing, how I’m feeling, what I mean. They have cried tears of joy and sorrow with me. They have spoken hard truths when I needed to hear them and listened quietly when I needed to process my thoughts aloud.

In short, friends are a gift. And when we find ourselves suddenly dealing with the world without their support, we easily feel the void. My children love playdates and park picnics and any excuse to gather with friends. April of 2020 was the slowest month of their lives. When we finally arranged a videocall with some of their friends, the laughter and smiles from that 15 minute call lasted for hours. The gloom and frustration of the morning melted away with one conversation from their friends.

I have not always been a good friend. I’ve forgotten important dates, spoken too harshly, criticized when I should have listened. But I have patient friends who continue to care about me, forgive when it’s needed, rebuke when it’s necessary, point me to Christ always.

Friends are a blessing I don’t take for granted. Miles separate us and years continue to pass. We enter new phases of life and go though different trials. But I’m thankful for the people that are in my life, encouraging me and occasionally dragging me away from my stack of books.

Photo by Janko Ferlic on Unsplash

Counting Those Blessings!

When I was in college, I went to the Ukraine on a mission trip. The first weeks we were in two different cities; lots of concrete, tall apartment buildings, people everywhere. But then we made a trip into the countryside to visit some smaller churches and communities. I remember watching field after field of poppies and wildflowers pass by the van windows. So beautiful in various colors and heights, as far as you could see flowers, impossible to count individual blooms.

I like to think of blessings as being like those fields of flowers. So many things come and go in our lives, many more than we could count, but still worth looking out the window for, still worth acknowledging the beauty and joy they bring.

We all know we have things to be thankful for. We repeat to strangers sometimes, “Yes, I’m so thankful that….” But are they things we repeat because we know we should be thankful for them or have we ever sat and thought about it?

So far, in this social distancing we are practicing, I haven’t run out of things to do. But knowing that I’m not going to be late for an appointment, I don’t need to guess how long it’ll take to wrangle my kids into the van…I’ve been taking time each day to stop and think, even gaze out the window, and count my blessings.

In times when things are taken away and so much is beyond our control, I tend to realize how much I really do have. It’s a cliche but in times of plenty it’s easy to believe ‘this is just the way it is.’ And then those things are slowly — or quickly — gone and we see what really matters.

Now, I know these are trying times and sad things are happening. I’m not proposing we ignore the grief or the gravity of a situation by pasting on a smile and mustering through. But continuous dwelling on bad, frustrating, hard things isn’t healthy. It messes with our minds and attitudes. It plunges us into further chaos and despair. We need to acknowledge the grief and difficulty of our situation and then turn our attention to the only One who truly understands.

We are well acquainted with Philippians 4:8-9 when we are instructed to ‘think on these things’ with a list of specific qualifications. But the verses proceeding are just as important and beneficial to recite.

‘Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.’ {Phil. 4:4-9}

In these verses, we are told to rejoice, to not be anxious, to pray, and then God will give peace. Then — taking those instructions a step further — Paul tells us what to fill our minds with to help us rejoice and not be anxious and pray!! So, a great beginning to filling our minds with things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praise worthy is to remind ourselves of all God has given us {ie counting our blessings} in the midst of everything that could be causing us anxiety.

So, let’s make the next weeks full of gratitude and praise for what we have in the midst of chaos! No blessing is too small to mention. Instead of complaining about what we can’t do, let’s be grateful for what we can enjoy! Think what a difference our positive attitude could make, even just in our solitary, isolated homes!

I encourage you to start a journal {here I go again!} and try to list just three different things each day. As you go on, you might find three a small, confining number. The sky’s the limit! Write the date, your list, and offer a prayer of thanks. The next day, repeat! At the end of the week, read over your lists and marvel at what God has given.

This is a great activity to get kids thinking about the good happening in a time when everything seems wrong and unfair. Encourage them to keep their own list {if they can write} or draw pictures. Talk about them over dinner since you won’t have anywhere you need to rush off to. I’m not pretending this is easy or a one-then-done situation. It is a daily, conscious, deliberate act which is why writing it down is such a great practice! But I do believe it is beneficial, encouraging, helpful, and good!

And in the long run, I don’t think you will regret any effort it takes in the here and now. Start with three a day. Dwell on those three. And see how quickly it blossoms into so many more.

Photo by Laurentiu Iordache on Unsplash