How We Change

Change is inevitable.

Nothing stays the same for long. Where I live, we are currently inching from winter to spring. Snow is on the mountains, trees are starting to bud out, the temperature climbs a little more each day.

I look at my kids and I see change. My teenager is suddenly looking me in the eye, excited to pass me up in height this year. My 11 year old is growing more confident, my first grader is trying to read more. Nothing can stop the change.

In life, we change; I look back at who I was 16 years ago when we moved to Utah and I’m thankful parts of me have changed. Motherhood, ministry, experiences, walking with friends through hard things. All that continues to work through me and I’m {prayerfully} being changed to be more like Christ.

But how do we look at things in our lives and know if a shift is necessary?

We are told many places in the New Testament that there is an “old man” and a “new man” for those who trust Christ. The old represents who we were in sin, living for ourselves. The new is who God has changed us to be and is currently sanctifying through the rest of our Christian walk.

We know we will change after salvation because our desires and habits are transformed. We are no longer given over to worldly things but our desire is to pursue Christ. We want what God wants, we mourn over things that grieve him, we view our lives as made for God’s glory.

However, this reality of being transformed has limits. Over the last several years, I’ve heard of Christians deconstructing their faith and many times, it leads to them completely abandoning their faith for secularism. We also have bitterness and anger changing people after a tragedy or unexpected situation. I would argue change is not always good or helpful.

So how can we know we’re changing in a good way?

First, we need to honestly ask if in our change we are moving away from God or closer to him. Questions aren’t bad but we need to be going to the correct place to find the answers.

Which leads to the second point. We need to stay in our Bibles. I’ve heard many deconstructionists say that in their attempt to get a fuller picture of the truth they turned to secular sources. This is not how we find out about God or truth. The world is at odds with its Creator. If we ask an atheist about God, we’re going to get a warped view of who God is. That will not help us change in a beneficial way.

The Christian life shouldn’t be stagnant. Sometimes in our questions and experiences, we might falter as we walk through difficult valleys. But don’t stay there! Don’t turn around and abandon the path. May we keep our eyes on Christ and pray that everyday, we are changing to be more like him.

Why Work Matters

The beginning of the year is filled with resolutions and new ideas and entire lists of wishes.

It is also filled with work. Cleaning up after Christmas decorating and parties. Decluttering. Maybe scrubbing germs away from a sickness. Work fills our lives, not only in January but throughout the year.

It can be easy to just plow through the work; much of it is necessary. Cleaning, laundry, cooking, learning. All these things are needed but that doesn’t mean that it’s always fun or easy.

One of the conversations I have with my kids is in the realm of their schoolwork. They wonder why it’s important, why it matters, why they can’t just do it fast and be done. I have one child who would be willing to do a year’s worth of science assignments in a week and be done with science for the year. But that’s not helpful. Often work is slow, takes perseverance, needs focus and continual effort.

Many people in today’s society believe that work is bad; some Christians might even consider it part of the fall. However, in Gen. 2:15, we see that the LORD gave Adam the responsibility to keep and cultivate the garden before sin entered the world. We also see Adam naming all the animals in verses 19-20 {which seems like a huge job to me!}.

So if work isn’t inherently sinful, how should we approach it? Well, again, the Bible gives us a guideline. The book of Proverbs alone has almost a dozen references to work. Here are a few —

• Our work will return to us {12:14}

• Work leads to profit {14:23}

• Being lazy will have consequences {18:9}

• Our work will be noticed {22:29}

The New Testament mentions the heart motive behind our work: Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. {I Cor. 10:31} This verse doesn’t put stipulations on what type of work is valuable but rather EVERYTHING we do should be for God’s glory. Meaning putting forth our best effort because God is the one who gives us the ability for it all.

I don’t believe we can effectively glorify or accurately represent God when we do things grumbling, upset, or half hearted. Yes, the work might be hard but hard doesn’t equal sinful, bad, or wrong. Hard exists because of the curse of sin {Gen. 3:17-19} but it doesn’t mean hard things are bad. I appreciate the wisdom of Abbie Halberstadt, a homeschooling, podcasting mom and author, who wrote a book titled, “Hard is Not the Same Thing as Bad” {I encourage you to read it}.

We have this mindset that difficulties should be avoided. Work that is too hard, too strenuous, too time consuming isn’t worth doing at all or can be done begrudgingly because it’s bad. That’s not the truth from the Bible. We can learn valuable lessons from doing hard things. We can discover that we actually enjoy the challenge in some tasks.

I remind my kids — and myself — that trying new things is hard but it is necessary. We shouldn’t complain or give up when we attempt work that is hard and we don’t immediately succeed. That’s part of the learning and growing process! Despite what you might have heard, nothing is easy for anyone the first time. Musicians, craftsmen, athletes, teachers, everyone has to work to improve to the point they are at. They might naturally have good hand/eye coordination but they have to practice to gain the accuracy to make the shot. They might have good pitch naturally but they have to learn to read music and play with musicality.

It’s all work. Plain, honest hard work. And it’s worth doing because we can glorify our Creator through our efforts and attitude.

Photo by Raphael Rychetsky on Unsplash

Consistently Faithful

Why is faithfulness so difficult?

I believe most Christians would say they want to live a faithful life, serving Christ over the long haul. But I think if we were honest, we sometimes think more about the razzle dazzle of service than what faithful living really looks like.

We read missionary biographies and marvel at the adventures and answered prayers. We follow social media Christian influences who travel and speak and do all the “cool things” of serving others on a large platform. We have our favorite teachers and musicians and think they are living in ultimate service for God. If only we could have a portion of that excitement in our lives!

Instead, we moan over the routine and daily grind of where we are. Social media certainly doesn’t help as we see the vacations, ministries, parties, and activities of sometimes friends, sometimes random people we follow. But that is such an incomplete view of someone’s life and faithfulness! Online is definitely a curated place, not meant for true authenticity.

Just like we don’t see the hours of practice for athletes and musicians, we don’t see the everyday moments that create a faithful lifetime.

I believe a big part of this mentality is the “now” mindset about everything. Food, internet, movies, entertainment. Our society thrives off of the immediate gratification movement. It’s not worth doing/having if you have to wait. We want it and we want it now! But this mindset and faithfulness aren’t compatible.

The Hebrew word conveys the idea of stability and trustworthiness. Neither of those can be proven in the short term. It takes time and familiarity to be known as trustworthy. It takes day in and day out living to show you are stable in how you live and what you believe.

Consistency is not a fast and flashy lifestyle. It is small moments, unseen moments, doing what is right and necessary and needed, even if no one ever knows.

Glenna Marshall is the author of “Everyday Faithfulness”* which I highly recommend. Here are a few of my favorite quotes:

“Today’s efforts aren’t just for today! They’re for tomorrow and next week and next month and five years from now.” {p23}

“Our hearts will not casually become more holy while we sit around and no nothing to feed our faithfulness.” {p28}

“Our faithfulness isn’t just for us. It announces to the world that Jesus is worth every drop of our devotion.” {p155}

Faithfulness in the Christian life is doing what we have been called to do today — tending children, meal planning, laundry, yardwork, cleaning, encouraging someone — it all matters. And it’s these small disciplines of consistency that lend to a fully faithful life.

*“Everyday Faithfulness” published by Crossway, 2020

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

What Does Giving Grace Mean?

Something I’ve been hearing a lot in recent years is, “Give them grace.” And I think some people use this phrasing to mean, “Be patient with her.” Maybe the person is a new believer and she is struggling through theological truths and you need patience as you help her. Maybe someone is walking through a trial and you need to demonstrate patience in your expectations on her during this time.

But when we consider what grace means and how it is used in the Bible, what should we be meaning when we say we’re giving grace and how do we go about actually doing that? Do grace and this idea of being patient go together? Or should we use another word?

A flip through the New Testament and we are confronted with the word “grace” many times. We probably recognize it the most for being Paul’s standard greeting in his letters {Rom 1:7; I Cor 1:3; II Cor 1:2; Gal 1:3; Eph 1:2; Phil 1:2; Col 1:2; I Thess 1:1; II Thess 1:2; I Time 1:2; II Tim 1:2; Titus 1:4; Philem 1:3} where he says, “Grace and peace.” He also closes all of his letters with “grace” {Rom 16:20; I Cor 16:23; II Cor 13:14; Gal 6:18; Eph 6:24; Phil 4:23; Col 4:18; I Thess 5:28; II Thess 3:18; I Tim 6:21; II Tim 4:22; Titus 3:15; Philem 1:25}.

So what is this grace and peace and grace of our Lord Jesus that Paul finds so important? God’s grace is what saves us from sin. Eph 2:8-9 tells us it is by grace, not works, that we are saved. I learned the definition as grace is God giving a free gift that we can never earn. Nothing we do will give us grace. God offers it because he loves us and is rich in mercy toward us {Eph 2:4-5}.

The Unger’s Bible Dictionary says, “Any intermixture of human merit violates grace” {p504}. If we try to work our way to salvation, we are saying God’s perfect grace, his gift of salvation to us, isn’t good enough. We have no part in salvation except confessing our sins and accepting the free gift of God’s grace. A note in Thayer’s Greek Lexicon states that, “Karis {the Greek word for grace} contains the idea of kindness which bestows upon one what he has not deserved” {p666}. In God’s kindness, he gives us karis; grace we don’t deserve.

When we think about peace, we think of calm, restful, quiet. But Paul isn’t merely wishing his readers a calm day. He is talking about spiritual peace, rest and confidence that comes to us because we have God’s grace. True biblical peace is not something we can fabricate. There are hundreds of things that steal our peace and only knowing and acknowledging Who controls them all will give us any semblance of rest. Note that when Paul opens his letters, he says, “Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.” {emphasis mine} He is reminding the reader that our peace comes from God, not from meditation or anything we can force. God offers grace. God gives peace.

So bringing this back to our original question, what should we mean when we say we are giving someone grace? To be consistent with what the Bible means, we are stating that we choose to show kindness to someone who doesn’t deserve it. It almost seems to have more to do with forgiveness than patience, doesn’t it? We offer grace to someone who has hurt us, we show kindness to someone who isn’t kind to us.

It’s not wrong to say, “Give them grace” but keep in mind what grace means: Unmerited favor. Undeserved kindness. What God gives us freely in salvation and what we should freely offer those around us.

Photo by Maurice DT on Unsplash

Be Not Anxious

It’s hard to ignore the state of our country and world today.

More than ever, we seem divided, angry, bent on proving we are right even if it divides more. And all of this tension can bring anxiety to the calmest soul.

I am usually a glass-half-full, optimist kind of person. I can get discouraged but I have learned from experience that things out of my control shouldn’t control my attitude. So I try to go with the flow and not allow things to make me uptight. {I should add I’m still working on this!}

However, when the world is rioting, countries are on the edge of war, our country is fighting and changing what we stand for, and up seems to be down…. I have to remind myself of biblical truth because nothing else will help.

One of my take aways from reading Proverbs is that the wisdom of the Lord is far greater than that of man. One verse I have been continually coming back to in this season is:

The heart of man plans his way,

but the Lord establishes his steps. Prov. 16:9

We might feel like the world is out of control and crazy. But that doesn’t mean God is thwarted. Man is out there trying to work his plans and God is not bothered. Nothing we do can keep God’s ultimate plan from happening.

I’m also reminded of Psalm 140. David pleads with the Lord to save him from the evil/wicked people that seem to be winning and surrounding him. He uses words like “deliver me,” “guard me,” “preserve me.” He is asking for help, not revenge. And he knows God is the only one that can help him. Lydia Brownback in her book on Psalms, says, “Revenge isn’t his {David’s} motive. His hope is the triumph of righteousness over evil.”* And so should our goal be.

When we are anxious and crying out to God about the state of our world, our prayers should be focused on God showing his strength and justice in an unjust world. What strikes me about Psalm 140 is that it ends without God judging the evil. However, David has a firm assurance that his prayers will be answered in God’s time.

I know that the Lord will maintain the cause of the afflicted, and will execute justice for the needy. Surely the righteous shall give thanks to your name; the upright shall dwell in your presence. Ps. 140:12-13

Do not be discouraged or anxious. As much as everything is in turmoil and the wicked seem to be thriving and winning, God’s plan will ultimately come to pass. Everything that happens today is moving us toward what God has planned and foreseen from the beginning. Nothing catches him by surprise, nothing forces him to change strategies. He is the Ruler of all and we can live in full hope of that.

*Sing a New Song: A Woman’s Guide to Psalms by Lydia Brownback copyright Crossway 2017

Photo by Mario Álvarez on Unsplash

The Danger of Your Own Truth

The world is becoming an increasing unfamiliar place to me.

Things I never dreamed would need to be explained, debated, discussed are now huge talking points that can sometimes come to blows. Truth is no longer a set guideline. If you don’t like what has been truth for generations of mankind, you can make you own! No matter how ridiculous it is, others aren’t allowed to critique or criticize without being labeled hateful.

In every part of our culture, we see truth thrown aside for something new. And the disturbing thing is Christians are following along! Watching a sinful world adopt these practices is difficult but it’s hardly surprising. People who don’t have the Holy Spirit guiding them are going to act like people who don’t have the Holy Spirit. But when people who claim to be following Christ develop this ungodly “live your truth” mentality, they do more harm than good.

When we “live our truth” and encourage others to follow that logic, we are falling for the lie that truth is objective. But the very definition of truth is that it is solid, unchanging, and the opposite of a lie. If there is more than one truth, it defeats its own definition!

Another danger is that if sinful men get to decide what truth is, that truth is tarnished. People are fickle. What is a convenient truth today might be out of favor tomorrow. And so we are constantly bending in the wind, not grounded on anything solid.

Speaking up in a world gone crazy is hard. We will be attacked, mocked, cut off, canceled. But the reward of standing on God’s truth and living by God’s standard far outweighs the current scorn. We need to believe that this world is not the end; earth is not our final home. We are living and longing for heaven.

Photo by Eric Lagergren on Unsplash

Being Consistent

On our family trip to Hawaii last year, our children were allowed to pick out souvenirs at a few places we visited. At one stop, my son chose a lucky cat {much like the picture above}. When the sun hits the cat, its paw waves up and down with a slight clicking sound.

Every morning, when I open the curtains in his room and the morning sunlight falls on his cat figure, the clicking and waving immediately begin and they continue until the sun moves and the cat is covered in shadow.

This daily routine and noise caused me to think about being consistent in aspects of life. Consistency is a trait that seems to be falling away. People have so many pulls on their attention and time that they have trouble being consistent, especially in areas where it matters.

I freely admit that this is a struggle for me at times. Consistency requires time, effort, and a conscious drive to do what we know we should do, not only what we feel like doing.

Bible reading

We know we should and yet…it’s difficult to consistently open God’s Word and read it. Why? Maybe we find it boring. Maybe we believe there’s nothing new to understand. Maybe we don’t make it a priority so it naturally gets squeezed out of our routine.

None of these are valid excuses. The old adage “You make time for what’s important to you” is very accurate here. If we love the Bible, if we hunger to know God better, we will certainly prioritize time reading the Bible. But we have to decide and commit to consistently be in the Word.

I prefer to read a physical copy for my daily devotions but if I know it’s going to be a crazy day, I listen to the Bible on my phone while doing my makeup, washing dishes, etc. However it works for you, do it!

Prayer

One of the hardest things for me is prayer. Not because it’s difficult but because I get so wrapped up in other things or worry that I just don’t think about it. Until I’m convicted that I’ve been trying to solve the problem on my own instead of laying it before God.

Having a consistent prayer life is important for every Christian. Not because it gives us a step up in bragging rights or eternal glory but because we are coming before our Creator and he hears us! Our worries, requests, hardships, questions, praise all matter to him and he welcomes us into fellowship with himself. We should be clamoring to spend time in prayer!

Consistently talking with our Lord strengthens our faith, teaches us to rely on him, and helps us grow in our Christian walk.

Discipline

Until you’ve told a child to stop a certain behavior several times in one morning, you might not realize what a struggle for consistency this is. It’s easy to think we’ve said no enough, we’ve sent them to their rooms enough, they’ve been punished enough. But if your children are still struggling with that sinful habit, we must keep being consistent in how we deal with it.

I’m not telling you how to discipline your kids here, although I certainly have thoughts on it. I’m telling you being consistent in dealing with sin is an important part of discipline in general. If we correct our children for throwing a fit up until the tenth time then let them go because we’re tired of dealing with it, they will always persist until that tenth time because they have learned you can be worn down and then they get what they want.

kindness

This shouldn’t need to be said but we are sinful people living with and among other sinful people and sometimes we snap! I have found being kind, compassionate, nice, etc. are not taken as the norm. In fact, in some situations, smiling and speaking kindly stand out as a rare thing. Think of moments where frustrations, tempers, and attitudes tend to run high. Now imagine being the person working in that environment, where everyday people are yelling, glaring, or upset with you but you can’t always solve the problem {I’m thinking of customer service and flight representatives, hotel staff, but I’m sure there are others}.

Most of these interactions will probably be the only time you’ll speak to the people in question, but if we choose to just be kind consistently, it will be easier to default to that attitude when we might be tempted to blow up. And of course this applies to family, coworkers, friends, and people we see on a regular basis.

Every morning, that clicking, waving cat greets me and it doesn’t show signs of slowing down. But every morning I’m reminded why being consistent in my Christian life matters.

Photo by Charles Deluvio on Unsplash

Taking Time to Pray

If I’m being honest, prayer is one of the hardest things for me.

It should be one of the easiest, but making consistent time to sit undistracted and pray can be a challenge. However, having a consistent prayer life is one of the most important disciplines we need to cultivate.

As with many things in life, we often think until we’re ready to do it “perfectly” we shouldn’t do it. The perfect time to sit uninterrupted, the perfect notebook to write requests in. But the truth is, there will not be a perfect moment or setup. We need to just begin! Here are a few things I’ve found helpful as I try to make a habit of prayer.

Make a list

Lists are helpful in many areas of life and prayer is no different. I have found it easier to stay focused and not get distracted when I have a list of prayer requests I can focus on. As I hear of needs from family and friends, I write them down and keep the paper or notebook within easy grabbing distance.

Give thanks

Days can be dark and discouraging. At times it’s difficult to find the words to pray, even with a list. At moments like this, I begin with thankfulness. Reciting the good things God has done for me or provided helps encourage me to bring more before him and also refocuses my mind.

Routine

They say it takes 59-70 days to create a new habit. Something I have found helpful in many disciplines of life is to attach the new habit to a certain time of day or regular activity. I try to begin and end my days with prayer. Before I fall asleep, I think back on that day and ask forgiveness, praise God, bring requests and burdens. Anything about that day that pops into my mind. In the morning before I get out of bed, I give my day over to God, ask for help in certain activities, etc. Here’s another blog post I wrote about attaching prayer to something else as a reminder to pray.

evaluate the day

I realized there were moments in everyday that I was wasting. I was scrolling on my phone, sitting at my desk wondering what I should be doing, researching things I didn’t plan to buy. And I decided when I caught myself doing some mindless task that didn’t need doing, I would pray.

Often the biggest challenge to prayer is our own attitudes. We don’t want to take the time or we think it has to involve closing eyes, kneeling, etc. The truth is, prayer is for every hour of every day. This is what I Thess. 5:17 is talking about when the Bible says, “Pray without ceasing.” God knows we have tasks that need to be done. He’s not saying we need to kneel at our beds 24/7. But wherever we are, we can come before him in prayer.

How will you incorporate prayer into your daily life?

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

Hero Worship or Bible Steeped?

Have you heard the saying, “Don’t meet your heroes”? Google many sports figures and celebrities and you will probably find a story about a regular person meeting someone famous and coming away not impressed. So many people seem amazing from afar but the more you know about them, the more you realize they have feet of clay. It’s hard to know what people are actually like.

We also see this in politics. We choose a candidate who looks like a savior, someone to make a difference the way we want, and suddenly they fall short. They turn sides and take bribes and disappoint us.

You might think that this wouldn’t apply to Christians. However, with people following authors, pastors, and Christian influencers, we can easily get caught up in the wrong thing and focused on the wrong person.

We don’t like to think that by following everything a certain person says or by believing he/she can do no wrong equals hero worship, but that is essentially what it is. We are propping people up on a pedestal and basing what we believe on what they say. We feel the need to defend them to others because some of our identity is wrapped up in how people perceive them. If someone has a problem with my person of interest, they must have a problem with me too!

I’m not saying it’s wrong to have a favorite author or to learn from a popular Bible teacher. I hope you respect your pastor and church leaders. I have podcasts, books, and people that have definitely helped me in my Christian walk and taught me things that are valuable and biblical. But I always have to remember a few things, no matter how I’m gleaning wisdom from others.

• Everyone is a sinner and therefore capable of getting something wrong.

• Only God is omniscient (all knowing).

• I am capable of responding in a sinful way.

• I only know one side {usually my person’s side} of the story but there are two perspectives in every incident.

By reminding myself of these truths, it helps me keep men (or women) in the correct place and God in his much deserved place.

I don’t log in to Twitter often because it’s too overwhelming for me. But I have the people I follow grouped into lists so I can choose to only read updates from authors or Christian leaders or Princess of Wales fashion posts. Unfortunately, the times I’ve logged in to Christian Tweeters I follow, there’s usually some disagreement or conflict going on. A popular Christian has been involved in a scandal or said something contradictory in a new book. Or someone just decides to go after someone else. It’s a messy place.

But the problem doesn’t stop there. Sometimes the person in question jumps on social media to defend his/her position. Sometimes it’s gracious, oftentimes not. Then their followers will lash out with name calling, Bible misquoting tweets to defend the honor of their favored influencer. And the mess just gets messier.

This exulting in people rather than God is contrary to the examples in the Bible. Think of Joseph in Genesis 40-41. Before he tells the two prisoners and Pharaoh what their dreams mean, he makes sure to mention it is God, not him, who can interpret dreams and should get the credit. Think of David in I Samuel 17 as he boldly goes against Goliath. He declares several times that God will deliver him from this Philistine. In another event concerning dreams, Daniel gives God the credit for showing Nebuchadnezzar’s dream meaning to him in Daniel 2. In fact Daniel points out that no one except God can do this (Dan. 2:27-28).

We also see New Testament examples of doing things for God’s glory, not man’s attention. In this, we see that God should be preeminent in everything. In everything we do and, therefore, in how we treat and emulate others. If we are respecting the words and teachings of a person — no matter how well educated or intentioned —- over the words and teachings of the Bible, we need to recognize the hero worship in this and follow God above all else.

I’ve recently seen someone post, “If this {supposedly bad thing} happens to so-and-so {read Christian teacher who is important to her}, my faith in God’s justice will be broken.” Really?! Your faith in the Creator of the Universe rests on how your favorite Bible speaker is treated, talked about, etc.? What a sad place to be in! To have your very faith in the power of Who God is hinging on a mere mortal who I guarantee is sinful and will make mistakes. We must be careful, even as we learn and grow from the teachings and writings of others that their words, actions, and personalities are NEVER a substitute for the actual Bible.

If I get too caught up in the unfairness, the injustice, the criticism, it might hurt my testimony with others. Christians shouldn’t be backbiters. Even if we don’t like an outcome or what we see as unjust commentary, we need to watch our mouths and monitor our hearts.

Consider this small sample of verses from Proverbs:

The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life, but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence. Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses. {Prov. 10:11-12}

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The tongue of the wise commends knowledge, but the mouths of fools pour out folly. The eyes of the Lord are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good. A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. {Prov. 15:1-4}

And so my challenge to you is this: consider those in your life who have impact and influence. Do you accept everything they say without reading or studying for yourself? Do you only believe their version of events and criticize any who speak against them? Do you assume if so-and-so said it, it must be true? Do you find yourself getting into arguments defending the honor or insight of a certain person?

None of us are able to walk through this life without making mistakes. We will say the wrong thing, be swayed by popular teaching, respond sinfully to situations. But if we spend more time reading and studying God’s Word than we spend hearing from the popular voices of today — however wise they may sound — we will have a better foundation to respond biblically and know God’s teaching on certain matters. In a society of ever-changing opinions and “truths,” I’m thankful for the unchanging God we can trust Who has given us unchanging truth to live by.

Photo by Sincerely Media on Unsplash

Cling to the Rock

Our family recently returned from a vacation in Hawaii. My husband and I had been 15 years ago but this was the first time for our kids. We filled our days with beaches, the pool, hikes, and trying as many local fruits as possible.

After the thrill of stepping in the Pacific and running up and down the beach to avoid oncoming waves, my son came to me a little disheartened.

“I see fish and things in the sand but the waves keep coming and I loose them.” I assured him we would go to a place where the waves wouldn’t be a problem. He looked doubtful.

The next day, we went to a beautiful lagoon that was by several large resorts. {Side note: our local Hawaiian friends told us no one can own beaches in Hawaii, all beaches are open for anyone to use even “on resort property.”} We parked the car, walked up a grassy hill, and down into the sand. After a layer of sunscreen, the kids made a beeline for the water. And they instantly noticed something: no waves. The water was completely calm.

This manmade cove or lagoon had rocks piled against the ocean side, breaking the waves and keeping the water inside the cove calm and shallow. There were fish, crabs, even a sea cucumber. It was a great place to learn to snorkel and we built sand castles, swam in circles, and enjoyed the afternoon.

The thing was, on the other side of that rock barrier, waves crashed and hit and were just as rough as ever. The rocks didn’t keep the waves from being waves, they simply protected those in the cove.

As I sat on the beach, happily digging and watching the kids, I couldn’t help but think about all the Psalms that mention God as our Rock. We usually think of this in terms of God’s strength and solidness, a firm foundation we can trust in. But it also points us to how he protects us. The waves of the world are constant and relentless. Sin pounds at us from all sides. It can be just as exhausting as standing up to physical waves all day. But when we seek shelter in the Rock of our Salvation {God}, we can hide behind him and find peace and rest from the waves.

Meditate on these words from Psalm 62:

1 I am at rest in God alone;

my salvation comes from Him.

2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,

my stronghold; I will never be shaken.

No matter how high those waves struck on that Hawaiian beach, we were safe behind the rocks that made our lagoon. We didn’t even think about the possibility of the tide pulling us deeper into the water or the waves knocking us down. We were happy, secure, and enjoying the beauty around us.

God does the same. Life isn’t perfect or trouble free because we’re clinging to the Rock but we know he’s there. We know the sin and wickedness of the world can’t move him. We know we can always find refuge in him. When you feel as if the waves are pulling you away from the safety of the Rock, read Psalm 91. God is our refuge, our fortress. In him we can trust.

Photo by Wei Zeng on Unsplash

Longing for Home

Recently I was walking around my neighborhood with my four-year-old who had chosen to scooter. After about 15 minutes, she declared her legs were giving out and she just couldn’t go on. We stopped for a minute to rest and than I told her we were on our street. We were almost home.

She immediately began singing the chorus to “Almost Home” by Matt Papa and Matt Boswell. It’s become a favorite of hers, although she doesn’t understand it’s talking about something much better than just our physical home. The song is urging Christians to keep fighting and pressing on here knowing heaven — our eternal home — awaits.

While she eagerly stood on her scooter, swinging her left leg to hit the pavement and send her down the sidewalk, I thought about the song she continued to sing. And as her volume got louder the closer we came to our house, I wondered if our enthusiasm for heaven is as exuberant as that little girl cruising into the driveway.

It’s interesting to me that many Christians have recently begun to talk about longing for heaven because things are so bad in our broken world. But really, even if everything was perfect here, our true desire should be heaven, right? Eternity in the Lord’s presence, free from the distractions of this world, nothing tarnished by sin.

You see, this world has been flawed since Adam and Eve chose the fruit over obedience. People have been longing for heaven and communion with God for thousands of years, not only based on what was happening around them but because they believed eternity with God was better than anything a sinful world could give.

But it’s very easy to get used to this world and it can be difficult to long for something that’s completely foreign: a sinless existence. I remember as a child, thinking of heaven in terms of just like earth but with nothing bad. But as I got older, I realized how much sin has polluted and corrupted everything — even things we might consider good or nice have a shade of this fallen world about them. It’s difficult to imagine a place perfect, whole, sinless.

And it’s incredibly easy to get used to what is around us, what we are familiar with, the only thing we know. Yet in the heart of every believer should be a longing, a fervent desire for our eternal home. Even though we’ve never seen it, we should have an excited anticipation for what God has promised.

If you aren’t familiar with the song I mentioned above, I encourage you to look for it on Spotify, Apple Music, wherever you listen to tunes. It’s a joyful, encouraging reminder that this place is temporary; it may be dark but dawn is coming. Press on, Christian, we’re almost home.

Photo by Dawid Zawila on Unsplash

The Running List

I am a list keeper.

Even as a child before I could spell words, I would fill notebooks with lists of squiggles {ask my mom; she remembers throwing away mountains of scribbled paper}.

And once I could write, I was all about journals, lists, to-dos. When I started high school and got my first day planner, I wrote EVERYTHING down. Every assignment, every sports game I attended, who I ate lunch with…I was kind of obsessed.

With each new school year brought a new planner. August became my favorite month. And as I moved into adulthood, lists and planners followed. I have a notebook in my purse at all times, along with several colorful pens. I have a planner and lists on my desk. I keep a separate planner with lists in the schoolroom. I have scraps of paper by my bed,

I’ve found lists to be extremely helpful and use them for so much more than groceries. One of my favorite things to list {just for my own reflection} are gratitudes. The older I get, the more I realize how much there is to be thankful for. And while some of the things I list are incredibly small, the act of writing them down helps me to pay attention to things around me.

This idea isn’t new or unique to me. Books have been written about the value of cultivating thankfulness and recording them in journals or lists or photo snippets. But as with many things, you often don’t really understand the value until you put it into practice for yourself.

I list people, places, things, events, memories. I’ve found when I’m actively looking for things to be grateful for I can go on and on, much longer than I thought. And the simplicity of writing them down in a list means I can pull them out, return to those items listed, and remember to be thankful all over again, even when times are rough.

Some of my most challenging lists of gratitude were during quarantine in 2020. When you can’t leave your home, everything is cancelled, and the future looks like a big empty void {remember, I love to plan and my new planner in 2020 went from full to empty for weeks on end. It was crushing}, it wasn’t surprising that finding reasons to be thankful didn’t flow easily from my pen.

However, when I looked, when I thought and concentrated for just a few minutes, there was always something.

Health

Sunshine and a yard to enjoy when all the parks closed

Technology to see friends virtually

Food

Family games and movies

I’m sure you get the idea. There’s always something we CAN be grateful for, but sometimes it takes a little more effort and thought. And now I have list upon list of gratitudes, even for 2020.

I still have running lists — groceries, gift ideas, birthdays, projects, writing ideas, school resources — but the one that continues to help me the most is my list of thankfulness.

Photo by Paico Oficial on Unsplash

Faithfulness

We’re still in that bubble at the beginning of the year where people are envisioning and resolving and dreaming of all the possibilities that 2022 might hold. But sometimes, we struggle to take that first step. We know the end goal we want to achieve but how do we get there?

Maybe we’re afraid of doing it wrong or making a mistake or failing. Maybe we believe we need to sit back and let God work. Maybe we’re waiting for a sign that never comes so year after year we press toward the same goal but we never get any closer.

One thing I’ve learned in life is that it’s not passive. Yes, we need to be wise and sometimes steps are slow and steady instead of fast and furious. But we need to keep showing up and doing what God has called us to. Often that means just doing the next thing. And sometimes we don’t know exactly how the next thing is going to help us or serve God but we keep going.

When I was going into my last year in high school, the seniors had the option of taking one university class for credit. Most of my friends were taking History of Civilization which was a class famous for the amounts of reading you needed to do and dates you had to memorize. I wanted to do something different. I decided to take a language since I knew my major would require two years. But which language?

My mom had been working with a lady from the Ukraine and I loved how the Russian language sounded, not harsh like German but fluid, smooth. So with no reason but that, I signed up for first year Russian and bought my textbooks. I’ll be honest and say it was hard. I spent hours in the language lab after class listening to phrases and repeating them into a microphone and practicing writing in a different alphabet.

I enjoyed the class, my teacher made it interesting, but it was hard. There were times I wondered why I was doing this and if I’d made the wrong choice in choosing this class, this language. At the beginning of second semester, our teacher gave us a heads up: our final for the year would be to recite the wordless book with at least two Bible verses per section. It ended up being two pages of Russian text to memorize and we had to understand what we were saying enough to answer questions our teacher asked about the Gospel.

During this same semester, my senior class was preparing to go to New York City for a missions trip. It was a busy few months but just before finals, we loaded into buses and drove to Brooklyn. One of the afternoons, we held a children’s club at the church and we shared the Gospel message using wordless books. Just before we started, several classmates excitedly ran up to me and said there were two Russian children in the back who didn’t understand much English.

With nerves rattling, I approached and introduced myself and asked if I could explain this book without words to them in Russian. They sat by me while I slowly staggered through every section, every Bible verse I had spent the semester memorizing for my final. They left the kids club with a Russian tract, a wordless book, and the gospel. I have no idea if they ever visited the church again but a seed was planted by a very overwhelmed and nervous high schooler.

It’s an extremely humbling experience to be used by God. To take your simple efforts and things you’ve unknowingly been cultivating and have God use them in ways you never imagined. When I set out to take Russian, I never dreamed that nine months later I would be witnessing in another language to two children who knew nothing of the Gospel. When my teacher assigned us that final project to work on, I had no idea my missions team would be sharing that same material in the children’s program. But God…

I often think when we set out to make resolutions and reach our goals, we only have that in mind: our goals. Our desires. Our purposes. But how much richer our lives become when we set our priorities on God’s desires for us. What he has for us this year, this month, this day. And while we can’t anticipate everything God has for us, we can practice faithfulness, right here, where he’s placed us.

It’s impossible to know how God will use what we’re doing today for the future. But that’s okay. We don’t need to know the ends and outs of what God will do or how. We just need to be faithful where we are. We need to be praying for opportunities and studying the Bible so we know what to say when the need arises. How will you be faithful today?

Photo by Charles Black on Unsplash

Seek the Light

I’m not super great at houseplants.

I have good intentions. I buy indoor plants, get them in {what I think} are perfect locations, and promptly forget to water them. Or I really want a plant in a certain place that gets no sunlight and it doesn’t last long.

When my kids learn about living things in science, we talk about what living things need to survive: food, water, and for plants, sunshine. It seems like such a simple list. How hard could it be to give plants sunlight, water, and food {nutrients in soil}?

Several months ago, I wanted to do a little sprucing up in our master bathroom. Our bathroom is somewhat large with a sink, linen closet, walk-in shower, and a large tub in the corner with big windows on two sides. The toilet is in its own little closet-like room with a small window. I found some cute shelves for above the tub opposite the windows and a matching over-the-toilet storage rack with shelves.

I’d never thought about putting plants in a bathroom before but we had these great shelves and lots of natural light pouring in. It seemed like a good fit, a little spa-like. I put a few starts from my spider plant in two containers, set them on the shelves in all that light, and waited to see how long they’d last.

The thing I love about spider plants is all the viney little shoots they send out. I love how they hang and fall and fill in so much space. And before long I noticed something that really shouldn’t have surprised me. The spider plant sent out a long narrow shoot right at the window. In fact, the whole plant began leaning toward the light in such a way that I was afraid the weight would tip the pot right off the shelf! So I rotated the pot, moving the fullness of the spider plant and that first shoot away from the window and toward the bathroom.

I didn’t keep track of how long it stayed that way but one day, I noticed the plant was leaning again and sending out another shoot, again to the natural light of the sun filtering in. The plant could not be stopped in its relentless seeking of the sun, one of the things needed for its survival.

Now, I’m not getting sci-fi and suggesting that the spider plant as a will, mind, conscious. I am pointing out that God designed the plant to need certain things and grow when those needs are met. And in a weird way, the plant unknowingly seeks out what it is designed to need.

God designed people with needs also. Our needs aren’t just about survival but about thriving and glorifying our Creator. We have basic health needs {food, water, oxygen} but we also need community, encouragement, to be productive, and above all, we need God. Even people who don’t acknowledge God’s existence have a need for him. And they will feel an emptiness, a desire to fill that space with something, even if they don’t admit it.

The trouble is sin. We get so wrapped up in the things of this world that we stop really seeking after what God wants. It might start with the lie that we are too busy to read the Bible then grow to skipping church and fellowship with believers because we feel out of touch or that it’s not convenient. We stop praying because we don’t see the need.

The Christian life is not a one and done. It’s a daily pursuing of the One who Created us. Just as my spider plant will send out shoots in pursuit of the sun’s rays, we as Christians should be seeking the truth of God’s Word and leaning toward Him. We need His guidance, care, strength, and grace more than we often believe. We daily pull away from the cares of this world and seek Him, the giver of light and life.

Photo by Matti Johnson on Unsplash

When Anxiety Threatens

Anxiety is an equal opportunity villain.  

I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who hasn’t experienced fear or anxiety at some point. We might be more prone to it depending on active imaginations (me!) or always jumping to worse case scenarios (me!) or being a pessimist (not me!). There is something in our human, fallen minds that lands on fear when uncertain or frightening things happen. 

I didn’t consider myself a fearful person in my younger years. Maybe I naively always thought that difficult things happened to other people, not me. But over the course of a few years, I had several times when I was gripped with a sudden anxiety that was difficult to shake. One of these times was when my daughter was born.

When I went to the hospital to have my daughter, I was so excited. I was two weeks overdue and those weeks seemed like a lifetime. Every appointment those last few weeks, I had to have a stress test which meant I sat in a comfortable chair for 30 minutes while a machine took my vitals. I was declared stress free every time. 

My labor was long and slow. Even after induction, my water didn’t break on its own and the doctor had to do it. And when she did, a problem was discovered. My baby had already had a bowel movement in the womb and there was a high likelihood she had swallowed fluid and developed an infection. The doctor warned that when she was born, her lungs would need to be suctioned and cleared before they would attempt to get her breathing. 

With that on our minds, we continued to wait for labor to progress. When our baby came hours later, it was a rush of activity. As soon as she was born, she was put on a cart and suctioned again and again. I couldn’t see anything happening, but I also couldn’t hear a baby crying. Time seemed to stretch until finally, we heard a little slap on skin and a baby’s wail.  

She was cleaned up and placed in my arms for the first time but not for long. In less than an hour, the nurses needed to get her to the NICU and run tests for infection and start antibiotics. Watching my daughter being wheeled away was not how I had pictured our first hours as a family. I slept on and off and was finally put in a wheelchair to visit our baby and move to a new room. 

For the rest of the week, every day was a new anxiety. The baby wouldn’t nurse and would only drink half the bottle of milk I pumped. We were told she would need to stay in the NICU for at least five days of antibiotic, but I could only stay in my hospital room for 48 hours. We could visit and hold our daughter except for a few hours each day when the nurse schedule rotated. Every doctor round brought some encouraging news coupled with discouraging news. They needed her to eat more at each feeding and gain more weight before releasing her. A certain number of wet diapers a day. A certain heart rate and oxygen number and blood test. 

I would look at the other babies in our NICU room and feel grateful, knowing many of them had more serious issues that required them to stay longer. But seeing my baby in an incubator, needing a nurse to help me lift her out with all the wires and tubes connected to her, not knowing when she would get to come home. I would sit and rock her and sing Jesus Loves Me until my husband came. Then I would head home to shower, change clothes, eat, and head back to the hospital to catch the doctor on his rounds and hear a test update. I would pump and deliver small bottles of milk for the nurses to try and feed her. 

Those five days were life changing. I realized in a way I hadn’t before the fragility of life and how little control we truly have over life’s circumstances. Until my water broke, we had no idea our week would be spent driving back and forth from the hospital, sleeping when we could, cheering for every milliliter of milk our daughter would drink. Finally bringing her home was exhausting relief that we had made it through. God had provided the strength, stamina, and wisdom we needed. 

Most people I know like to have a feeling of control or knowledge of a situation. When we are afraid of outcomes that scare us, we start focusing on the problem instead of on God. 

Anxiety can be paralyzing, taking over our physical and mental capabilities. But again and again, we find comforting words in the Bible, meant to encourage and give us rest. 

Psalm 23 is a beautiful example. It shows the range of depth our lives can have, from the joy and comfort of peaceful moments to the fear and dark times of shadows. While familiar to many, this Psalm isn’t one to be hastily quoted; it deserves consideration and consistent remembering, especially when we are feeling the weight of anxiety pressing in.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Photo by David Mark on Pixabay

Good, Better, Best

One of the joys of being a homeschooling mom is that I get to teach my kids about many different things.

The hard thing about being a homeschooling mom is that I have to teach my kids about many different things.

Do those seem at odds? Let me explain. I don’t just get to teach the fun things that I love and find interesting. Things like literature, history, geography, and art are all really fascinating and, I think, fun to teach. But then I also have those other subjects. Things like math and science and grammar that just aren’t…fun. And because they don’t appeal to me, I don’t always enjoy the process of laying out the facts behind these subjects.

But what! You might be asking, “How can a person who loves reading and writing not like grammar?! Aren’t those related?” Well, here’s the thing. Because I’ve been reading and writing for so long and have loved to for so long, the grammar is kind of lost on me. I don’t think about the rules or parts of speech or the technical terms of what I’m doing. I just use the language and it makes sense to me. It sounds right.

So when I’m faced with explaining to my children how to diagram a sentence, what the different phrases in a sentence are, singular vs plural rules, and tenses…it just doesn’t excite me. I find it monotonous and it’s really hard for me to not just say, “Can’t you hear why that’s not right?” to my second grader who’s never heard a word labeled as a direct object before.

I know a lot of people have issue with the weirdness of the English language {been there} and one of the harder things to teach and get is when a word doesn’t follow the rules. My son and I were talking about adding an -er or -est to a word {like fast, faster, fastest} to help us describe something more clearly when he — totally believing he had caught on and was about to impress me — said, “Like good, gooder, goodest!” To which I took a deep breath, prepared myself, and said, “Nope. Some words, like ‘good’ have their own rules.” His eye roll and frustration were completely understood.

That launched us into a conversation on good, better, and best and why it gets special attention. Then we practiced using each word correctly {He is good at math but she is better at spelling}. And it got me thinking about the good, better, and best situations in our lives.

Sometimes in practical living it’s difficult to distinguish between what is good and better. We want to believe that the opportunities we choose are the best options for us. The things that we want to do, the choices that offer the biggest paybacks or results or growth. We want to be people that choose the best for us and our families.

Often the problem comes when we have to stop doing something good in order to do something better. If you’re like me, you think, “I can just cram this other thing into my life because it’s a good choice but I don’t want to give up anything I’m currently doing…because those are all good things too!” But then all the running around to all the “good” things wears us out. We become short and temperamental with our families because we’re tired. We don’t fully enjoy the things we’re doing because we always have one foot out the door to “get to the next thing.” We moan over our busyness but we don’t want to give anything up. “It’s all good,” we tell ourselves.

But sooner or later, something will break. Something will have to be given up, no matter how “good” it is. And sadly, as a pastor’s wife I’ve often seen church as one of the first “good” things to go. People have offered reasons like “Our family just needs a day to ourselves” “We’ll be back when schedules slow down” “We want to be there but we’re so busy” and on they go. What breaks my heart in these excuses is that people are choosing to give up the best thing for their family {being in a church community, learning about God together} for a good thing.

These “good things” vary but when I talk with people, it usually comes down to prioritizing other things and getting so tired they need a free day and that becomes Sunday. Because it’s easier to not come to church on Sunday than miss a soccer game on Saturday. You see, extra curricular things for your kids aren’t bad. Those can be good things that teach valuable lessons. But when you choose to spend so much time on those that your family is too tired to come to church, the “good” activities have replaced a better option {i.e. church}.

Now I know vacations, sickness, unforeseen circumstances happen and keep us from meeting on Sundays. Even as a pastor’s family, we miss services on occasion. But when we get into the habit of making Sunday our “free day” and we do all the good things through the week, thinking we can always regroup on Sunday if it’s too much, we need to seriously reevaluate what we consider good, better, and best in our lives.

And this isn’t just about church. Think how easily we can push daily Bible reading and prayer out because “We have to get to work, take the kids to school, get homeschool done, have coffee with that friend, tackle those chores, make dinner, get everyone to their after school activities…” Now when we read this list, these things aren’t bad. Most of them are necessary {work, food, education, etc.} but when the list takes the place of spending time in God’s Word, we need to think about our priorities and how things can be rearranged to give more time for the best thing.

It’s difficult to stop doing something “good” in pursuit of something “better.” Sometimes it feels like we failed or gave up. But the truth is we can’t do everything and our culture is constantly bombarding us with possibilities. Sometimes certain seasons of life mean we can’t do all the good things we want. But that season will pass and we can say yes to other things.

As nice as it would be, there are no hard and fast rules for what is “good, better, and best” in our lives. Choosing the best requires us to take an honest look at our lives continually. What is good today might need to be replaced by something better next week. But, unlike pesky grammar rules, I can guarantee that choosing God over whatever the world throws our way will ALWAYS be the best choice. Reading your Bible, praying, being in a church family should never be cut out to make room for something better. Because that “something better” will not be worth it.

Photo by Patrick Bald on Unsplash

Grieving but Not Alone

Last week was a sobering week for me. It marked two anniversaries that bring me to tears.

It was the eleventh anniversary of miscarrying our first baby and the first anniversary of my friend’s death from cancer.

Both of these losses left me grieving for a long time and in some ways, I still mourn. The losses were different but they affected me unexpectedly, continuously, and painfully, and even after the passing of time, it’s difficult to remember without crying.

Grief is an emotion that sometimes feels wrong. We might think if we mourn too deeply we aren’t trusting God or resting in his peace. We are allowing our fickle and sinful human nature to guide us. Therefore, we often brush by the grieving process and try to ‘get on with life’ without completely confronting how the loss tore us up inside.

I’m slowly coming to realize that grieving is not a sin, mourning someone is nothing to hide or forget. God gives us people and relationships and memories. They bring joy but there’s also a chance for pain. However, the pain doesn’t negate the happy times or how far God brings us in the healing process. I was talking with a friend who has also suffered loss and she wisely said, “People will tell you you’ll get over it but it’s not about getting over grief. It’s about just pressing forward, even with the grief.”

When my friend was diagnosed with cancer, it was difficult for me. She was a mom with children similar in age to my own and the gravity of this broken world became very evident as I saw her struggle and become weaker and deal with pain. We had scheduled a meet up and I was so excited to see her but that same day, quarantine fell on everyone. By the time quarantine ended, she was gone.

My miscarriage was sudden and the furthest possibility from my mind. I had crossed into that blessed second trimester, when the chance of miscarriage falls. But a series of ultrasounds confirmed my fears and suspicions. Going home from the doctor that Monday morning knowing I would be admitted to the hospital to deliver our baby the next day was crippling. I went upstairs and curled on the bed while Tommy called our parents and close friends. When we arrived at the hospital, I checked in at the Labor and Delivery door and sat to the side waiting while happy, excited, full term women filed by, their joy a stark contrast to my sorrow.

Both these experiences are things I’ll never “get over” in the sense that I’ll never forgot those moments. The passage of time doesn’t take away the pain, it doesn’t make me grieve these losses less each year. As long as I’m on this side of heaven, I will miss my friend and her sweet smile and genuine laugh. I will wonder about the baby we named Addison and mourn the memories we never made together.

However, I do not allow grief to define my memories of these people or grow so entrenched that I become bitter at what these losses denied me. In the early days, it was difficult to comprehend how life kept going for so many people while I sat in heavy memories. I felt left behind but had no desire to catch up. For me, it wasn’t about trying to get away from grieving. It was just doing what I could that day, stopping when I needed to, and allowing the tears to flow.

Probably the most comforting thing in those times was remembering I wasn’t alone. The God who walks beside me daily is also the omniscient God who knows the future. He doesn’t leave us, he knows our sorrow, he offers a peace that we can’t fully understand.

The Psalms are a great source of comfort as walk the road of grief. I repeated Psalm 23 to myself over and over. Psalm 71:1-3 reminds us we can trust in God. Psalm 121 tells of God’s help to us, how he never sleeps but keeps us. Psalm 139 speaks to the way God knows us, forms us, and is everywhere. The Bible is filled with hope we can cling to when we face sorrow. Even when people don’t know how to comfort, God does through His Word and his promise to never leave us or forsake us.

If you are experiencing grief, whether from something past or that you are currently in the midst of, I want to encourage you. Don’t be afraid to bring your sorrow before the Lord. Tell him your struggles, ask for his help, and trust him to provide your strength. Keep reading the Bible and write encouraging passages on notecards to leave throughout your home. Grief will still show itself on anniversaries and in random remembrances and it’s okay. Grief isn’t something to be overcome; it’s something we live with but don’t allow to control us. It’s another way we lean on God and trust him to carry us.

Loss and grief are difficult and in this broken world, they will never go away. But lean on the God of all comfort who knows you and loves you. There is grace and hope through him, for today and all your coming tomorrows.

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

A Reminder to Pray

One of the lessons I learned last year was the importance of prayer.

Of course, I’ve always known prayer is important and vital for a Christian but there were so many days last year when all I could do was pray. I couldn’t control directly most of what bothered me about 2020 but I could bring my worries, frustrations, uncertainties, and requests before the Lord.

We so often relegate prayer to certain times; meals, before bed, when difficult things happen. And the rest of life, we just go on, doing what we need to, getting our schedule finished.

Going into 2021, I was thinking about habits and what it takes to form new ones. The internet is filled with advice on how to make new patterns a habit, how long to try before it really sets in, ways to make a habit stick, and so on. One of the more intriguing ideas I stumbled on was tying or stacking habits to things I’m familiar with doing.

The premise if that you find something you already do regularly — like putting makeup on — and attach or stack a new habit to it — like cleaning the bathroom sink. So every morning when you finish your makeup, you wipe down the sink and faucet before you go on with your day. You don’t try to think of ways to multitask these efforts; rather you give each their own time. But you keep the stacked on tasks small. Instead of cleaning the whole bathroom you just do one part. The goal is to make whatever you stacked on {in our case cleaning the sink} a natural habit.

And that was what I wanted in my prayer life. I wanted it to become a habit and part of my daily structure. But I also wanted it to be sincere. Prayer isn’t {or shouldn’t be} just something to check off a daily list. It’s talking with God. It’s seeking his wisdom and asking for his help. It’s praising him and confessing sins and verbally recognizing Who he is. And I didn’t want to confine it to after a certain task.

My answer came in an unexpected way. We live near a military airbase and jets fly directly over our house multiple times a day. There is no escaping or ignoring the sound of a jet soaring overhead. It is deafening inside, outside, basement, garage. And there was my answer. For the last several months, every time I hear a jet fly overhead, I pray.

I pray for whoever I know that pops in my head. I praise God for one of his attributes. I think through my day so far and confess any sins. I pray for missionaries. For my community. For our nation and leaders. For my family.

They aren’t long prayers. I don’t always close my eyes. But it’s amazing. Once I start praying, I just keep going. Unless a child needs me and starts screaming, I usually think of things to keep bringing before God. While I do dishes or fold laundry, I find myself praying.

And now, even on Sundays or cloudy days when the jets aren’t roaring above me, I suddenly will start praying. If no one is talking to me and I’m doing my household chores, I’ll just begin praying simple yet heartfelt prayers of need and thanks and praise.

Photo by Alexandra Mirghe from Unsplash

The Power of a Good Influence

Can we talk about role models for a minute?

I see this as a huge blind spot in Christian circles. Some people don’t think they matter — just follow God, they would say. Others advise to follow someone in your ‘field’ to really do well in your career. Or follow the example of someone you admire. Or listen to the popular, groundbreaking person that everyone’s talking about.

I’m not saying that role models are evil, but I think we need to put a little more stock in who we hold up for ourselves and definitely our kids. And we need to be careful to not fall into the trap of following whoever the world says.

One of the definitions in the dictionary for ‘role model’ is ‘A person regarded by others as a good example to follow.’ So then we need to ask ourselves what makes for a good example? Is it how wealthy they are? How successful? Is it behavioral or being empathetic?

As Christians, we should have a set of standards that don’t equal what the world calls ‘good.’ We should desire and want to instill in our children a different reason for listening to and following someone. It’s not because of worldly ambitions or gain. It’s not for popularity or joining the crowd. When we hold someone up as a role model, basically saying follow this example for your life, we need to proceed with caution.

Disclaimer: I know everyone is sinful and flawed. Even the greatest people in Christian history have things they said, actions they did that we would not commend. However, part of holding these people up is to show that they needed — and received — God’s grace, just like we do. I’m also not saying we can’t read, admire, etc. secular people who did amazing things. But I am saying we need to be careful WHAT we are teaching our children to follow in these ‘heroes.’

Here’s a personal example. When I was 8 or 9, I read about Clara Barton and Florence Nightingale. At the time, I wanted to be a nurse and I was fascinated by what they overcame, their tenacity, their compassion for others, and their courage and diligence to do what they did. These traits are things that are commendable. However, Barton was a Universalist and believed everyone had some good in them. Many of the founding fathers {Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, etc.} had qualities that helped make this country possible yet their religious beliefs and morality leave much to be desired.

If we’re holding up examples of people merely because ‘they were the first’ ‘they have done what no one else has’ ‘they are popular’ ‘they have overcome huge barriers’…those might not be the best reasons.

What should exemplify a Christian’s life? Many things! The below notes are by no means exhaustive!

The fruit of the Spirit. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” {Gal. 5:22-23}

Prayer. “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” {Rom. 12:12} “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” {Col. 4:2}

Humility. “Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” {Phil. 2:3}

Compassion. “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.” {Col. 3:12}

Forgiveness. “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” {Col. 3:13}

Fear of God. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.” {Prov. 1:7}

In Philippians 3, Paul reminds his readers to imitate him in following Christ and to remember the examples of other Christ-followers {v17}. As Christians, our goal on earth should be to witness to others and to glorify God through every aspect of our lives. We should be careful about idolizing godless people who stand completely against His Word and live in a way that shows it.

We shouldn’t hold anyone in higher position than God but if we’re following the example, lifestyle, and opinions of people who don’t exemplify ANY biblical characteristics, we need to rethink our view of a role model. And we need to be careful how we encourage our kids to think about role models and who we hold up for them to follow.

Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash

Does Worldview Matter?

In Christianity, there are many ‘buzz words’ that people talk about, debate, and hold as important.

Something we don’t often think about is our worldview.

We think, “I’m a Bible believing, born again Christian” and that’s the end. While it should be that simple, our culture and world has a way of making everything more complicated. Or maybe you naively believe it’s not important to have a worldview. So what is a worldview and why is it important?

The dictionary definition of a worldview is “a comprehensive conception or image of the universe and of humanity's relation to it.” Let’s break that down.

Comprehensive - a large scope or a thorough understanding of something.

Conception - an idea, beginning, or plan.

Universe - the cosmos, space.

Humanity - the human race, all people in the world.

Relation - a connection, or the association between things.

By putting all these pieces together, we could restate that your worldview is a “thorough understanding of an idea or plan of the cosmos and how the human race connects with it.”

Despite what the world may tell you, everyone has a worldview. Everyone has some framework or idea for how all people relate to the rest of the world and all the universe. It’s basically the backbone of what you believe and how you interact with the world because of what you believe. Even if someone doesn’t believe in a god or follow a certain religious belief, everyone believes in something. Even humanism is a belief. Even atheism is a belief.

So if you don’t think a worldview is important or you don’t think you have one, what do you think after reading these definitions? Does it sound important for how you frame your thoughts on…

relationships with others {respect, love, empathy}

issues of life and death {abortion, euthanasia, murder}

authority {government, The Bible, God}

responsibilities {work ethic, gratitude, family}

Hopefully, you are beginning to see that your worldview — literally the way you view the world — touches and affects how you see everything!

Why can this be a difficult topic for Christians? Because there are a lot of ‘pastors’ and ‘Bible teachers’ who say they are Christians but do not have a biblical worldview on issues like a seven day creation, the authority of God, who Jesus is, homosexuality, abortion, race, marriage, etc. But because they call themselves a Christian or Christ follower, many people are led to believe the Bible is silent, neutral, or oblivious to these issues. And people follow those false teachers in the belief that the world or science has the answers and the Bible is outdated or ignorant. When you aren’t using the Bible as the lens for how you see and live in this fallen world, it’s going to be very easy to simply follow the game plan of the world.

Put that way, worldview sounds a little more important, doesn’t it?

This may sound shocking but hear me out. There are two sides — God and Satan. If you aren’t following what God has laid out for us in the Bible, you are following Satan. The Bible is clear that the Devil is not a passive participant in what goes on {I Peter 5:8}. He knows God wins in the end but he isn't a quiet loser. He wants to deceive and bring down as many people as possible and he uses any means he can to do it.

When we don't keep the truth of the Bible before us and use it as our guide for how we live and what we believe, we will be susceptible to believe what we hear in the world. Satan is a good liar! Remember his deceit with Eve {Gen. 3:1-5}? He tempted her with half truths. He didn't directly attack God or his character. He asked a question and lied. The fruit looked good {Gen. 3:6}! The lies of a secular worldview look good! False Christians sound like they get it and they throw in enough truth to make us listen. If we are only hearing them and our own wisdom, we will easily be swayed.

Second Timothy 3:16-17 reminds us that Scripture was given by God to teach, rebuke, correct, and train us. Not so we can claim wisdom on our own but to complete and equip us. So when Satan throws his lies via the world, we can know we stand on a firm foundation.

In case my arguments don’t convince you of the importance of your worldview, I highly recommend this podcast episode from a man who has been in the secular college circle and strongly advocates for Christians having a biblical worldview. Parts of his interview are specifically about preparing your children and teaching your children a biblical worldview, not just expecting them to ‘get it’ from living in a Christian home, but his points are worth considering for everyone.

Photo from Adolfo Felix on Unsplash