Taking Time to Pray

If I’m being honest, prayer is one of the hardest things for me.

It should be one of the easiest, but making consistent time to sit undistracted and pray can be a challenge. However, having a consistent prayer life is one of the most important disciplines we need to cultivate.

As with many things in life, we often think until we’re ready to do it “perfectly” we shouldn’t do it. The perfect time to sit uninterrupted, the perfect notebook to write requests in. But the truth is, there will not be a perfect moment or setup. We need to just begin! Here are a few things I’ve found helpful as I try to make a habit of prayer.

Make a list

Lists are helpful in many areas of life and prayer is no different. I have found it easier to stay focused and not get distracted when I have a list of prayer requests I can focus on. As I hear of needs from family and friends, I write them down and keep the paper or notebook within easy grabbing distance.

Give thanks

Days can be dark and discouraging. At times it’s difficult to find the words to pray, even with a list. At moments like this, I begin with thankfulness. Reciting the good things God has done for me or provided helps encourage me to bring more before him and also refocuses my mind.

Routine

They say it takes 59-70 days to create a new habit. Something I have found helpful in many disciplines of life is to attach the new habit to a certain time of day or regular activity. I try to begin and end my days with prayer. Before I fall asleep, I think back on that day and ask forgiveness, praise God, bring requests and burdens. Anything about that day that pops into my mind. In the morning before I get out of bed, I give my day over to God, ask for help in certain activities, etc. Here’s another blog post I wrote about attaching prayer to something else as a reminder to pray.

evaluate the day

I realized there were moments in everyday that I was wasting. I was scrolling on my phone, sitting at my desk wondering what I should be doing, researching things I didn’t plan to buy. And I decided when I caught myself doing some mindless task that didn’t need doing, I would pray.

Often the biggest challenge to prayer is our own attitudes. We don’t want to take the time or we think it has to involve closing eyes, kneeling, etc. The truth is, prayer is for every hour of every day. This is what I Thess. 5:17 is talking about when the Bible says, “Pray without ceasing.” God knows we have tasks that need to be done. He’s not saying we need to kneel at our beds 24/7. But wherever we are, we can come before him in prayer.

How will you incorporate prayer into your daily life?

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Don't be Discouraged

Waiting is hard.

It often breeds discouragement as we believe the longer we have to wait for something, the less likely it is we will succeed. This can be true for waiting for a husband, a baby, the perfect job offer, and the list goes on. Waiting and discouragement thread through life in many ways.

I love reading books. Although I read a lot of non fiction, I love a good novel too. I’ve come to realize, however, that I love getting to the finish but I’m not always a fan of the journey. No, I’m not one of those crazies who reads the last chapter of the book before starting the beginning. But if the journey takes too long, if the hero makes too many mistakes along the way, I’ve been known to skim a few pages. But without the struggle the climax would be less satisfying. The triumph of the hero succeeding is made more spectacular by all the obstacles he had to overcome to get there.

And so it is in reaching our goals. Often we don’t take the time to celebrate or even realize we had a small victory toward our main objective. We instead focus on what others are doing, what others are accomplishing. When we face disappointment, it’s hard to imagine rising above discouragement, working and continuing on although the odds seem stacked against us. But when we reach that goal, the joy is all the greater because of what we’ve experienced along the way. We can look back at specific moments when we could have given up. But look how we came through!!

I love hearing about people who work hard and accomplish their goal. But it has burdened my heart when I see friends and acquaintances getting book deals, opening businesses, living their dreams. I thought, “They’re moms too. When did they find time to do that? I’m so behind.” It is basically a pity party but it makes me doubt what I love doing. I wrongly measure success off of the timing that others were succeeding in. And I don’t take into account the years and tears and sacrifices that they have gone through.

I’m reading the life of David in my Bible reading. Talk about waiting!! He served the king he knew he was going to replace and hid for years from that same king! He knew what God had promised but he waited and waited. Several times David could have killed Saul and sped up the timeline {at least in human eyes}. But he wanted things to happen in God’s timing, not because he acted impatiently.

I would really love this time of quarantine to end and everything to go back to before. I would really love to be published and hold a book with my name on it in my hands. I don’t want to wait weeks or months to go to coffee with a friend. I don’t want to wait years for all my words currently sheltering in notebooks to find their way into the broader world of books. I want to know that there is an end and it will be the ending I want in the time I want.

But that thinking isn’t healthy or biblical. Instead of focusing on what we want to keep from being discouraged, when we find ourselves in the middle of something, we must turn our desires and disappointments and expectations over to God and wait for his timing.

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Who Do You Pray For?

The last month has taught me something important: there is always something or someone I can pray for.

With social distance meaning I can’t meet with friends and ladies from church, I’ve resorted — like so many others — to keeping in touch electronically. Texting, Zoom meetings, Marco Polo, email, Facetime, and Messenger have all become part of my daily, regular schedule. Even my children have been catching up with friends and family and doing piano lessons online. It’s strange but I’m thankful we have the option and availability to check in and catch up, even while staying home.

Without fail, as I chat with others, I ask how they are doing and what I can pray for. Those are questions that should be part of our regular dialogue with friends and family but somehow, in the midst of parties, fellowships, playdates, and gatherings, those are often the questions left unsaid while we instead talk about the movies we’ve seen, the deals we’ve found, the crazy lives we lead. And usually when we do ask friends how they are, we anticipate the standard, “I’m fine,” or “Doing great” and we’re happy to leave it at face value and not pry too much.

But there’s something about not being face to face that makes me crave real connection. Not that other interactions are pointless but there’s only so much you can talk about when people haven’t left their houses in a month!! And after every text, every message, I stop and pray for that person, for whatever peace or strength or grace they need.

And I didn’t always do that. I was usually running somewhere or sending a brief message between household tasks. And, I thought, “I’ll catch up with them on Sunday.” But during the last month, those Sundays and Bible studies and Awana nights haven’t happened and to stay in touch with friends, I’ve had to get creative. With short communications the only way to connect with people and with the stay at home orders cancelling any and all reasons I have to leave the house, I’ve found myself thinking about my friends more and praying for them.

One of the great realities in this quarantine is that some of my struggles are probably similar to what my friends and family are struggling with. Feeling boxed in? Fear/anxiety of the unknown? Frustration over cancelled plans? Weary of kids complaining? Craving a few minutes to myself? Yep, as I chat with my friends, these are very real hardships for all of us. So where before someone would come to mind and I’d think, “I don’t know what she needs, I’ll ask her on Sunday,” now I think, “She’s at home with her kids, she’s unable to follow her regular routine, she’s trying to figure out working from home…I think I know what to pray for.”

You see, before it was almost like I was afraid of ‘wasting’ a prayer on someone who might not need it. Which is a crazy idea!! God knows what every individual needs, even if I don’t, and He will meet those needs, even if I don’t know what to specifically pray about. My part is to faithfully, humbly come before Him and bring my praise and requests. Even if it’s the simple, “Be with her today.”

I’ve also realized during this month that there are people I should be praying for regularly that somehow slip by my mind unless I know a certain request they’ve mentioned to me. Have you ever noticed it’s easy to consistently pray for the same things and people? Almost like you put your prayer life on auto pilot. But quarantine has brought so many people to mind that I realize I don’t always pray for or maybe I do sporadically.

To help myself, I made a list to keep by my Bible and I’ve also restarted the practice of praying through our church directory. Below is a printable of people — general, not specific — I’ve been burdened and reminded to keep in my prayers. If you would benefit from such a list, please feel free to download and print it. I also wrote a few things you might pray for under each group, just in case you don’t know where to start. Pray these things for others and yourself.

One of my constant prayers through all this is that we would come out the other side of quarantine grateful, thankful, loving, compassionate people.

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash.

Counting Those Blessings!

When I was in college, I went to the Ukraine on a mission trip. The first weeks we were in two different cities; lots of concrete, tall apartment buildings, people everywhere. But then we made a trip into the countryside to visit some smaller churches and communities. I remember watching field after field of poppies and wildflowers pass by the van windows. So beautiful in various colors and heights, as far as you could see flowers, impossible to count individual blooms.

I like to think of blessings as being like those fields of flowers. So many things come and go in our lives, many more than we could count, but still worth looking out the window for, still worth acknowledging the beauty and joy they bring.

We all know we have things to be thankful for. We repeat to strangers sometimes, “Yes, I’m so thankful that….” But are they things we repeat because we know we should be thankful for them or have we ever sat and thought about it?

So far, in this social distancing we are practicing, I haven’t run out of things to do. But knowing that I’m not going to be late for an appointment, I don’t need to guess how long it’ll take to wrangle my kids into the van…I’ve been taking time each day to stop and think, even gaze out the window, and count my blessings.

In times when things are taken away and so much is beyond our control, I tend to realize how much I really do have. It’s a cliche but in times of plenty it’s easy to believe ‘this is just the way it is.’ And then those things are slowly — or quickly — gone and we see what really matters.

Now, I know these are trying times and sad things are happening. I’m not proposing we ignore the grief or the gravity of a situation by pasting on a smile and mustering through. But continuous dwelling on bad, frustrating, hard things isn’t healthy. It messes with our minds and attitudes. It plunges us into further chaos and despair. We need to acknowledge the grief and difficulty of our situation and then turn our attention to the only One who truly understands.

We are well acquainted with Philippians 4:8-9 when we are instructed to ‘think on these things’ with a list of specific qualifications. But the verses proceeding are just as important and beneficial to recite.

‘Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.’ {Phil. 4:4-9}

In these verses, we are told to rejoice, to not be anxious, to pray, and then God will give peace. Then — taking those instructions a step further — Paul tells us what to fill our minds with to help us rejoice and not be anxious and pray!! So, a great beginning to filling our minds with things that are true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and praise worthy is to remind ourselves of all God has given us {ie counting our blessings} in the midst of everything that could be causing us anxiety.

So, let’s make the next weeks full of gratitude and praise for what we have in the midst of chaos! No blessing is too small to mention. Instead of complaining about what we can’t do, let’s be grateful for what we can enjoy! Think what a difference our positive attitude could make, even just in our solitary, isolated homes!

I encourage you to start a journal {here I go again!} and try to list just three different things each day. As you go on, you might find three a small, confining number. The sky’s the limit! Write the date, your list, and offer a prayer of thanks. The next day, repeat! At the end of the week, read over your lists and marvel at what God has given.

This is a great activity to get kids thinking about the good happening in a time when everything seems wrong and unfair. Encourage them to keep their own list {if they can write} or draw pictures. Talk about them over dinner since you won’t have anywhere you need to rush off to. I’m not pretending this is easy or a one-then-done situation. It is a daily, conscious, deliberate act which is why writing it down is such a great practice! But I do believe it is beneficial, encouraging, helpful, and good!

And in the long run, I don’t think you will regret any effort it takes in the here and now. Start with three a day. Dwell on those three. And see how quickly it blossoms into so many more.

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Prayer

I've often felt inadequate in many ways. I know a little about a lot of things but I'm not an expert or particularly skilled in any one thing. As a homeschooling, stay at home mom to three kids, there are many things I don't have the time or energy or physical ability to accomplish. 

Many is the time when I want to do something and just can't. There are needs and opportunities even in my own church that I am not able to meet or contribute to.

Those realizations are hard. Especially when I think, 'If I wasn't homeschooling, I'd have all morning for that,' 'If my kids were older, they could stay home alone while I did that,' 'If there wasn't cooking, cleaning, laundry, meal planning…' Our lives can quickly become a list of grievances or hindrances instead of looking at what IS possible in the place we are now.

My biggest shift in this thinking has been prayer. The beautiful thing about prayer is we can do it anytime, anywhere. There is no formula to follow, no time limit or special place. In the chaos of our daily surroundings and in the long, sleepless nights, God hears our prayers.

Suddenly, my perceived inadequacies are swept away. You don't have to be an expert to approach the throne of God. We come before him with awe, humility, broken, and needy people. And he hears.

When I can't worship at church because of sick children or attend a Bible study because of schedules, I can pray for those who are there. When visiting others isn't possible and carting kids around keeps us from hospital bedsides, we can pray for healing and peace.

I believe one of the reasons prayer is often difficult is because we do it in private. Has anyone ever asked you if you pray daily? Maybe they tell you a request but do they ask if you actually follow through? In our society of sharing and recognition, do we take time to do things no one sees? It's hard to take a prayer selfie. And yet it should be a crucial, vital part of our Christian lives.

I love I Thess 5: In everything give thanks, pray without ceasing. This idea of being in constant communion with God. When we hear a request or a friend pops in our mind, just stopping for 30 seconds and bringing them before God. When we are on the verge of tears, tired of disciplining children, a 1 minute prayer for wisdom and love. Situations that break us, circumstances that confound us, people that fail us, opportunities that shock us. God knows them all. He hears them all. And he wants to heal, protect, renew, and forgive us.

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Holiday Expectations

This week is Thanksgiving and then we rush headlong into the busy season: Christmas.

Everyone knows holidays can be crazy. Extra people, lots of food meaning lots of planning and preparation, decorating, special events, concerts, recitals, parties. I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t have a hundred things going on between now and December 31. And even though we love family and doing special things and making the season memorable for our kids, it’s hard to not become a little overwhelmed.

As my kids get older, I feel more pressure to do things that they’ll remember. If they loved something we ate or did last year, we have to do it this year and the next and the next…. Traditions are important, right? As moms, it’s easy to believe tradition making is all down to us. We have to make every moment of the holidays special, no matter what it requires or how tired it makes us.

The thing is, no one can do everything, as I was recently reminded by a friend. We can pin all the ideas, buy all the trendy stuff, stay up all hours but we’re only human. If we’re too drowsy to enjoy the fun, too irritated to be joyful, too busy to sit and eat, what is the point of it all? It’s not bad to want to make the holidays memorable and keep traditions going, but if we’re so focused on doing all the things that we don’t enjoy them and our joy is actually being replaced with anger and complaining, it’s not worth it.

So how do you stop a grumbling spirit from ruining the holidays? Be honest about why you’re doing things. Is it out of true joy or a feeling of obligation? Are you afraid the holiday will be terrible unless you do XYZ? Are you putting too much on yourself in this season?

Let me give you a silly example. When I was growing up, Thanksgiving meant pulling out the china and making place cards. I loved the food but as a little girl who aspired to be a princess, I loved the beauty and specialness of a well set table. I still love making holiday meals really special by using china, real silverware and cloth napkins, and decorating the table with place cards and candles. Even after having children, I’ve pulled the china out of the cabinet for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. But this year for Thanksgiving, I bought paper plates and napkins at Hobby Lobby. We’re hosting my parents and some of Tommy’s family and the number of people coming just made real dishes and napkins not realistic. I knew I would love the look of the table set with fine china but I would also be standing at the sink washing dishes long after the meal was over. And probably grumbling to myself that everyone else was off playing games and watching football.

Maybe this would never bother you but I half jokingly sobbed to Tommy that my standards were slipping when I told him we would be using paper this Thanksgiving. Maybe for you it’s not preparing a whole turkey or buying pies from Costco instead of homemade. Maybe it’s asking for help with the meal or changing a tradition slightly. Things like illness, a new baby, changes in the family, or moving are events we sometimes experience around holidays that make traditions difficult or impossible. Give yourself grace and do what you can with a joyful spirit, not expecting perfection.

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Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It’s my favorite holiday but not because of the traditional food, football and parades, afternoon turkey induced coma, or amazing sales. I enjoy gathering with loved ones, reminiscing about the year, and taking time to be thankful.

I know thankfulness is an action we should participate in everyday, not just the month of November. And I truly try to show my thankfulness to God at the end of each day. But some days are easier than others. Sometimes when we look around, the circumstances seem too great to give thanks. We might think, “Surely we aren’t supposed to be thankful for this!”

The Apostle Paul had his share of trials. Imprisoned and beaten, Paul suffered many physical difficulties yet in Philippians 4, he reminds us, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” (vv 11-12) Verse 13 reminds us where he is getting the ability to persevere: “I can do all things through him (Christ) who strengthens me.” A few books later, he tells us in I Thessalonians 5:18, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Clearly thankfulness is something that should resonate easily with Christians. So why is it so often difficult to name our blessings? Sometimes it might be because we are looking at the world’s definition of what should make us thankful: nice house, new car, perfect health, happy family, money, good job. While it’s not wrong to be thankful for these things if we have them, as Christians we need to realize things in and of themselves are not responsible for our happiness and should not be the basis for what we are thankful for. Because of what God has already given us {salvation, grace, forgiveness} everything else in this world can’t compare.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving with all the traditions and fun and food, let us take time to be thankful for this past year and honestly count our blessings, remembering to give thanks in all things.

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