Seek the Light

I’m not super great at houseplants.

I have good intentions. I buy indoor plants, get them in {what I think} are perfect locations, and promptly forget to water them. Or I really want a plant in a certain place that gets no sunlight and it doesn’t last long.

When my kids learn about living things in science, we talk about what living things need to survive: food, water, and for plants, sunshine. It seems like such a simple list. How hard could it be to give plants sunlight, water, and food {nutrients in soil}?

Several months ago, I wanted to do a little sprucing up in our master bathroom. Our bathroom is somewhat large with a sink, linen closet, walk-in shower, and a large tub in the corner with big windows on two sides. The toilet is in its own little closet-like room with a small window. I found some cute shelves for above the tub opposite the windows and a matching over-the-toilet storage rack with shelves.

I’d never thought about putting plants in a bathroom before but we had these great shelves and lots of natural light pouring in. It seemed like a good fit, a little spa-like. I put a few starts from my spider plant in two containers, set them on the shelves in all that light, and waited to see how long they’d last.

The thing I love about spider plants is all the viney little shoots they send out. I love how they hang and fall and fill in so much space. And before long I noticed something that really shouldn’t have surprised me. The spider plant sent out a long narrow shoot right at the window. In fact, the whole plant began leaning toward the light in such a way that I was afraid the weight would tip the pot right off the shelf! So I rotated the pot, moving the fullness of the spider plant and that first shoot away from the window and toward the bathroom.

I didn’t keep track of how long it stayed that way but one day, I noticed the plant was leaning again and sending out another shoot, again to the natural light of the sun filtering in. The plant could not be stopped in its relentless seeking of the sun, one of the things needed for its survival.

Now, I’m not getting sci-fi and suggesting that the spider plant as a will, mind, conscious. I am pointing out that God designed the plant to need certain things and grow when those needs are met. And in a weird way, the plant unknowingly seeks out what it is designed to need.

God designed people with needs also. Our needs aren’t just about survival but about thriving and glorifying our Creator. We have basic health needs {food, water, oxygen} but we also need community, encouragement, to be productive, and above all, we need God. Even people who don’t acknowledge God’s existence have a need for him. And they will feel an emptiness, a desire to fill that space with something, even if they don’t admit it.

The trouble is sin. We get so wrapped up in the things of this world that we stop really seeking after what God wants. It might start with the lie that we are too busy to read the Bible then grow to skipping church and fellowship with believers because we feel out of touch or that it’s not convenient. We stop praying because we don’t see the need.

The Christian life is not a one and done. It’s a daily pursuing of the One who Created us. Just as my spider plant will send out shoots in pursuit of the sun’s rays, we as Christians should be seeking the truth of God’s Word and leaning toward Him. We need His guidance, care, strength, and grace more than we often believe. We daily pull away from the cares of this world and seek Him, the giver of light and life.

Photo by Matti Johnson on Unsplash

Grieving but Not Alone

Last week was a sobering week for me. It marked two anniversaries that bring me to tears.

It was the eleventh anniversary of miscarrying our first baby and the first anniversary of my friend’s death from cancer.

Both of these losses left me grieving for a long time and in some ways, I still mourn. The losses were different but they affected me unexpectedly, continuously, and painfully, and even after the passing of time, it’s difficult to remember without crying.

Grief is an emotion that sometimes feels wrong. We might think if we mourn too deeply we aren’t trusting God or resting in his peace. We are allowing our fickle and sinful human nature to guide us. Therefore, we often brush by the grieving process and try to ‘get on with life’ without completely confronting how the loss tore us up inside.

I’m slowly coming to realize that grieving is not a sin, mourning someone is nothing to hide or forget. God gives us people and relationships and memories. They bring joy but there’s also a chance for pain. However, the pain doesn’t negate the happy times or how far God brings us in the healing process. I was talking with a friend who has also suffered loss and she wisely said, “People will tell you you’ll get over it but it’s not about getting over grief. It’s about just pressing forward, even with the grief.”

When my friend was diagnosed with cancer, it was difficult for me. She was a mom with children similar in age to my own and the gravity of this broken world became very evident as I saw her struggle and become weaker and deal with pain. We had scheduled a meet up and I was so excited to see her but that same day, quarantine fell on everyone. By the time quarantine ended, she was gone.

My miscarriage was sudden and the furthest possibility from my mind. I had crossed into that blessed second trimester, when the chance of miscarriage falls. But a series of ultrasounds confirmed my fears and suspicions. Going home from the doctor that Monday morning knowing I would be admitted to the hospital to deliver our baby the next day was crippling. I went upstairs and curled on the bed while Tommy called our parents and close friends. When we arrived at the hospital, I checked in at the Labor and Delivery door and sat to the side waiting while happy, excited, full term women filed by, their joy a stark contrast to my sorrow.

Both these experiences are things I’ll never “get over” in the sense that I’ll never forgot those moments. The passage of time doesn’t take away the pain, it doesn’t make me grieve these losses less each year. As long as I’m on this side of heaven, I will miss my friend and her sweet smile and genuine laugh. I will wonder about the baby we named Addison and mourn the memories we never made together.

However, I do not allow grief to define my memories of these people or grow so entrenched that I become bitter at what these losses denied me. In the early days, it was difficult to comprehend how life kept going for so many people while I sat in heavy memories. I felt left behind but had no desire to catch up. For me, it wasn’t about trying to get away from grieving. It was just doing what I could that day, stopping when I needed to, and allowing the tears to flow.

Probably the most comforting thing in those times was remembering I wasn’t alone. The God who walks beside me daily is also the omniscient God who knows the future. He doesn’t leave us, he knows our sorrow, he offers a peace that we can’t fully understand.

The Psalms are a great source of comfort as walk the road of grief. I repeated Psalm 23 to myself over and over. Psalm 71:1-3 reminds us we can trust in God. Psalm 121 tells of God’s help to us, how he never sleeps but keeps us. Psalm 139 speaks to the way God knows us, forms us, and is everywhere. The Bible is filled with hope we can cling to when we face sorrow. Even when people don’t know how to comfort, God does through His Word and his promise to never leave us or forsake us.

If you are experiencing grief, whether from something past or that you are currently in the midst of, I want to encourage you. Don’t be afraid to bring your sorrow before the Lord. Tell him your struggles, ask for his help, and trust him to provide your strength. Keep reading the Bible and write encouraging passages on notecards to leave throughout your home. Grief will still show itself on anniversaries and in random remembrances and it’s okay. Grief isn’t something to be overcome; it’s something we live with but don’t allow to control us. It’s another way we lean on God and trust him to carry us.

Loss and grief are difficult and in this broken world, they will never go away. But lean on the God of all comfort who knows you and loves you. There is grace and hope through him, for today and all your coming tomorrows.

Photo by Sandy Millar on Unsplash

A Thrill of Hope

December has arrived and I see/hear people all over talking about how they can’t wait for 2020 to end because 2021 HAS to be better!!

But wait! In December 2019, weren’t we all wide eyed innocents plowing into the new decade full of excitement and delight at what 2020 would hold? The truth is, no matter how bad we think the previous year was, that doesn’t guarantee a perfect new year. I’m not saying things are always doomed to be worse, but we need to not expect all our problems to magically disappear when the clock strikes midnight. It’s never worked in previous years and 2020-21 isn’t going to be the exception.

The good news is that we have hope! And not a shallow, I really HOPE this next year is better, but a sure, lasting, promise-fulfilling hope in our Savior. We can rejoice and celebrate this hope year round, although it certainly comes to mind easiest in December. The innocent baby in a manger, born to bring us hope and salvation.

It is so easy to get pulled into the mentality of better things are coming! Hang in there and it’ll all go away! While having a positive outlook certainly helps in life, we shouldn’t just sit around, waiting for the calendar to turn and solve our problems.

The truth is, God has already given the solution to our greatest problem {sin} through Jesus Christ. When Jesus was born on earth, fully human and fully God, the world was a dark place. Yet hope came, in the form of a baby Who was the promised, waited for Messiah. And angels filled the sky and rejoiced, wise men journeyed far and wide to worship him, shepherds couldn’t contain the news. The Savior was born!

The world continued to be a dark place after Jesus was born. Herod demanded young boys killed, paganism still surrounded the people, there was oppression and injustice. But God’s plan of redemption was in motion.

If {or maybe when} you wake up on January 1, 2021 and the same things that discouraged you about 2020 are still present, remain joyful! We are not living on a whim in a universe out of control. God’s plan is still in motion. We can — and should — still live in hope. Jesus has conquered sin and paid for our eternal salvation!

We can rejoice this Christmas season and continue into the new year filled with hope that God knows what the future holds.

Photo by Dan Kiefer on Unsplash

Raising Children in a Sin Cursed World

As a mom, one of the things I talk about with my friends is raising my kids to love God and value what He values. Even with my friends who aren’t moms, I’ve expressed frustration and concern for what’s going on in the world and how it affects my kids.

Every generation faces challenges when it comes to raising children. A sin cursed world is never going to be easy or convenient to teach children to follow God and love Him. Even in the “good old days,” sin was present and slowly influencing and chipping away at the family. I believe we sometimes sell the previous generations short by moaning about how much more difficult it is to raise children now, in the 21st century. And while previous parents didn’t have to face social media and technology, they still had to deal with sin and a sinful world.

Imagine the world just before the flood. Things were so terrible and wicked that God destroyed everything except Noah’s family and the animals to repopulate the world. We can’t imagine such times. And every civilization from then until now has been driven by sin.

Consider the first century Christians. Ancient Rome was not the most wholesome civilization to be raising children in. Even by secular standards and historians, ancient Roman culture was full of perversion, debauchery, and violence. There were areas where you could leave healthy, born, but unwanted babies for wild dogs to eat. Senators and emperors were corrupt and ready to kill to gain power. Adultery and homosexuality were rampant. People thronged to the Colosseum and similar amphitheaters to watch gladiators kill each other and see Christians torn apart by animals.

But for God’s grace, it would be impossible to even begin to raise children counter culture! As parents, I believe raising children to be God fearing comes down to several things:

• Realizing we can’t isolate them from the evil of this world

• Filling their mind with Bible truth

• Surrounding them with prayer

We as parents are the primary influencers and teachers for our children but that doesn’t mean we can go at it alone. We need wisdom and strength from the Lord and we certainly can’t know or anticipate every curveball that parenthood throws at us.

I guess my point is, everyone has been raised in a sin cursed world. This isn’t something new we’re facing for the first time. A desire to be godly examples of a family in ungodly times has existed since Adam and Eve. We may feel like it’s more prevalent or in our face now with the internet and social media, but sin is sin. It’s always stood there, against the family and trying everything possible to tear us down.

Instead of excusing the difficulties of today and saying it’s harder than anyone else has faced, we must trust God, soak ourselves in the Bible daily, and not let the culture dictate how we parent. We must know what the Bible teaches on issues of sin, values, and moral standards and instill those into our children.

Photo by Melissa Askew on Unsplash