This is National Women’s History Month. All month, people are supposed to remember, reflect, celebrate, and commemorate everything that women have achieved.
I should start this post by saying I’m not against women or working or contributing. Women have different talents and abilities than men, given to them by God. This doesn’t mean women aren’t smart enough for math or can’t physically work on a car. It means God created men and women differently and I’m thankful for those differences and how God uses them in people’s lives.
Now, my issue is that in secular culture and sadly seeping into the church we see women championed and celebrated in every sphere except motherhood. Sure some commentators will acknowledge that moms are important for children’s mental, physical, and spiritual formation. But in this month of “Look what women have done!” not many people are talking about moms. And when they are, it’s disparaging. They talk about stay at home moms as if we sit on the couch watching the world go by. We have no ambition, no drive, we aren’t contributing to the family income so what good are we? We’re lazy, poor role models. I mention all these because these are actual comments on various Twitter feeds that I’ve seen this month. Downgrading what moms do and exalting the CEO woman who's tearing up Wall Street. We put so much pressure on women to get out there and seize their chance that those who want to stay home with children are ridiculed.
But what no one seems to consider is that behind that woman changing the world and shattering the glass ceiling is probably a mom. Isn't it interesting that so many Olympic athletes talk about the sacrifices their mom made for their child's dream? How many times have we seen a nameless mom with tears of happiness on her face while her child receives a gold medal? We praise the athlete's dedication but often ignore or overlook the mom who gave up something so her child could make history.
Moms are important, whether they stay at home or work outside the home. The work of nurturing, feeding, caring, keeping a dozen brain tabs open at all times...the value of a mom has become a punchline on sitcoms but it is so important. The work of training your children and showing them they are loved and valued is important.
My oldest turns ten this year and I’ve been reflecting on what I still need to teach her, what I want her to know, and things I want to do with her before she becomes an adult. I admit, it’s enough to leave me overwhelmed. These previous nine years with her have been a joy and a learning process for me and I definitely feel lacking to guide her in some ways. But when I’m at a complete loss for how this mothering adventure is going, I remember these words from Deuteronomy: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. {6:5-9}
So much of what we teach is how we act {gulp!}. And these verses remind me that everything I do and say is teaching something to my children. Teaching them anger or patience. Teaching hate or love. Trusting in man or trusting in God. Teaching them to love God and follow him above all else is the most important thing I can model. And moms are perfectly placed to demonstrate these truths to their children.
Becoming a mom doesn’t mean your dreams end. Becoming a mom doesn’t mean you never have fun or do what you want. Often our desires or aspirations are put on hold while we have little ones but those years are never wasted. Maybe your child will be a doctor who helps others, or a judge who stands for the oppressed, or a teacher who loves kids unwanted at home. For all of these careers, raising children who love God and His Word is the greatest lesson you can teach. And it begins with a mom who loves them.
Please don't read this and think I'm advocating for a mom month. But if you are a mom and feel overlooked or marginalized or invisible, I see you and I'm cheering you on. The fruit of your labor {raising your children} won't be fully known for years but what you do today matters. Press on, Momma. And lean on God.
Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash