Homeschool Update

It’s been awhile since I’ve talked about our homeschool year! Here’s a brief update on all things school.

1. My oldest was struggling with history. She loves to read and usually loves history but as this was more of a review year for her with our current curriculum, she was getting bored. She’s done small portions of American history for the last four years and this year was one big overview. I don’t think it’s possible to know/remember everything you’ve learned over the years but when I would talk with her, she clearly knew the big events, people, and time periods and was simply bored. I’ve NEVER switched curriculum in the middle of the year but I felt it necessary to keep her interest engaged. So she started reading A Child’s Geography on the Holy Land. It combines geographical, historical, and cultural information with lots of colorful pictures. She’s enjoyed it much more and it started the ball rolling for world history, which she’ll begin next year.

2. My second grader is loving Handwriting Without Tears…as much as a boy who doesn’t love writing can! This has been a great program for him; it combines learning and practicing separate letters with writing them in words. He’s almost finished with his current book and ready to move on to pre-cursive.

3. The big win for our preschooler has been UsBourne Wipe Clean books and activity books. She loves them and with the Wipe Clean, I’m amazed how she happily does the same activities over and over. She does need help reading the pages to know what to do/look for in the activity book but I can easily step away from the older kids, tell her what to do on those pages, and she completes them on her own.

4. I recently bought this book and we’ve enjoyed reading the entry for the day. It’s opened some questions about different people, events, inventions and so far we haven’t come across anything not appropriate for kids. We also read a nature poem a day from this book and the older kids have started taking turns reading them aloud. I think reading poems aloud is such a great skill to have!

   That about sums it up! This year has gone fairly smoothly and I can’t believe we’re already in March! Another school year almost complete.

   Photo by Anton Sukhinov on Unsplash

Good for the Wrong Reasons

It came out of nowhere. We were in the frozen foods section at Sam’s Club, my youngest child in the cart and my oldest two standing next to me while my husband decided what sausage to buy. I vaguely noticed the lady with two very rowdy children across the aisle when suddenly I heard her exclaim, “Look at those children over there! They are waiting quietly and patiently. Just be like them!”

And then it happened. My mind flew in a dangerous direction. “Yes,” I thought, “Look at how well my kids are behaving. They would never dream of jumping into the freezer and banging on the door. I can’t believe what some kids get away with.”

Of course, two aisles later my daughter was crying that she was hungry and wouldn’t make it to the car. I pushed the cart faster in an effort to depart the store before anyone noticed her cries.

Pride is an easy trap to fall into. And motherhood brings it out in a whole new way. Suddenly, we feel people measuring us not just on our own merits but also on our children. We believe how they behave is a direct reflection of our parenting. We know from the glances, the headshakes, the raised eyebrows that people are watching our children’s tantrums and the god of self raises its ugly head. We know what they’re thinking about us because we’ve probably thought the same about another mom. 

Pride has been a problem since Satan decided he wanted to be like God. We know the definition of what pride is but we rarely stop and consider what place and appearance it has in our lives as mothers. And while there is a pride in mothering that is good - like celebrating the hard work and accomplishments of our child - unbiblical pride often takes the form of us trying to look better through our children. And in the process demanding behavior from them merely for looks.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). When we tell our children to “be good because you're embarrassing me” but offer no lasting reason for the behavior, we aren't really thinking of teaching them. And we certainly aren’t being humble or considering our children’s spiritual growth. We want the results without putting in the teaching time. It is merely pride in how our children appear and selfish motives that drive us. We should instead desire our children to have good attitudes and behavior because it is glorifying to God. 

Here is another verse that often convicts my heart. “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10). Considering our motives for why we expect certain behaviors is a great heart check. Are we trying to grow our children in the Lord or looking for outward proof that they listen to us?

Wanting kind, polite, well behaved children is not sinful. But when we elevate and expect that behavior for the wrong reasons, we are treading in dangerous waters. As mothers, we have the biggest responsibility and opportunity to train our children. We can teach them biblical obedience through loving and serving God or a works-based merit system where they obey us and behave because that's what we demand. We might get the results we want short term but without God working in the hearts and lives of our children, we do them no favors for the long term.

I'm not suggesting that we shrug off and make excuses for tantrums or that we go through life not caring if our children are the neighborhood terrors. But when we see these attitudes emerging, whether in the aisles of a store with an audience or in the privacy of our home, we need to use more than demands for better behavior or listing comparison children.

We need to remind them and ourselves that we are sinful, we need forgiveness and grace, and God provides both. Instead of putting our children on a pedestal because they've never cried over unbought cookies at the store, we need to humbly acknowledge that they are still sinful - maybe just in less public ways.

So how do we encourage good behavior without making it all about good behavior? It begins with the beauty of the gospel. Romans 3:23 says “For all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.” I like to remind my kids that all means all meaning everyone. As painful as it is, my children know I'm a sinner and they know they are too. The beauty of this is that when I talk about Jesus saving my sins and forgiving me and the Holy Spirit helping me make good choices, they know the same freedom is available to them. They know they'll mess up, but they also know they will be forgiven.

 They know I don't expect perfection, but they also know why I ask for good attitudes and behaviors.

It's not because I want perfect children to show off at Sam's Club. It's because I want my children to willingly serve God.

It's not wrong to want our children to behave or to expect a certain behavior in certain situations. But when how our children behave becomes a matter of pride to us, we have an issue.

As a parent, our ultimate goal should not be to raise perfect children or children who believe they are perfect. Our goal is to train them to glorify God and to serve him. Whatever embarrassment our children sometimes cause should not be the primary goal in addressing our children's bad behavior. Teaching our children that they are sinners in need of a savior is important in shaping their overall care.

Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash

New Bible Verse Printable!

Last year, as we were going into the schoolyear, I made a collection of cards with Bible verses that could easily be printed off and left around the house, schoolroom, or whatever you wanted. My aim was to encourage all the mamas out there and give you a resource for memorizing a Bible verse a week with your kids, whatever education choice you made.

This year, I wanted to do it again with a few changes. I’m really excited to share this new printable with you! A few things different from last year:

• I found these amazing printable index-sized cards at Walmart. I thought they were a perfect option for our weekly Bible verse cards! They are perforated which makes it so easy and fast; just print and fold and you’re done!

• The cards this year are larger — I put four verses on each sheet opposed to the six last year. I did this so they would fit the printable index cards mentioned above and so I could make the font larger.

• Extra room to doodle! It’s a proven fact that copying, highlighting, underlining, etc. all help in memorization. These cards have more room and larger font for kids to trace the words, copy on the back, draw symbols, or whatever they want to lock these Bible truths in their hearts. Print a set for each child and let them underline new words or put stickers on the corners.

• If you print these on index cards, they are thicker and an easy size to hold. Of course, you can print these on regular paper, cut them out, and glue them to fancy cardstock as well.

• This summer, I felt a pull to focus on Bible verses that have to do with our personal character. We’ve memorized verses about God helping us, salvation, peace, etc. But the Bible has a lot to say about how we should act…and shouldn’t! Many of the verses I chose this year are reminders of how we are to treat others, listening, confessing our sins, and the benefits of obeying God.

I hope these are a help and blessing to you! Many of you commented to me that you had printed off the verses last year and enjoyed them. Please print off as many as you want and share the link to this post with friends. I’m praying this school year brings joy, growth, and a love for our God and the children we’ve been entrusted with.

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

Why I'm Proud to be a Mom

This is National Women’s History Month. All month, people are supposed to remember, reflect, celebrate, and commemorate everything that women have achieved.

I should start this post by saying I’m not against women or working or contributing. Women have different talents and abilities than men, given to them by God. This doesn’t mean women aren’t smart enough for math or can’t physically work on a car. It means God created men and women differently and I’m thankful for those differences and how God uses them in people’s lives.

Now, my issue is that in secular culture and sadly seeping into the church we see women championed and celebrated in every sphere except motherhood. Sure some commentators will acknowledge that moms are important for children’s mental, physical, and spiritual formation. But in this month of “Look what women have done!” not many people are talking about moms. And when they are, it’s disparaging. They talk about stay at home moms as if we sit on the couch watching the world go by. We have no ambition, no drive, we aren’t contributing to the family income so what good are we? We’re lazy, poor role models. I mention all these because these are actual comments on various Twitter feeds that I’ve seen this month. Downgrading what moms do and exalting the CEO woman who's tearing up Wall Street. We put so much pressure on women to get out there and seize their chance that those who want to stay home with children are ridiculed.

But what no one seems to consider is that behind that woman changing the world and shattering the glass ceiling is probably a mom. Isn't it interesting that so many Olympic athletes talk about the sacrifices their mom made for their child's dream? How many times have we seen a nameless mom with tears of happiness on her face while her child receives a gold medal? We praise the athlete's dedication but often ignore or overlook the mom who gave up something so her child could make history. 

Moms are important, whether they stay at home or work outside the home. The work of nurturing, feeding, caring, keeping a dozen brain tabs open at all times...the value of a mom has become a punchline on sitcoms but it is so important. The work of training your children and showing them they are loved and valued is important.

My oldest turns ten this year and I’ve been reflecting on what I still need to teach her, what I want her to know, and things I want to do with her before she becomes an adult. I admit, it’s enough to leave me overwhelmed. These previous nine years with her have been a joy and a learning process for me and I definitely feel lacking to guide her in some ways. But when I’m at a complete loss for how this mothering adventure is going, I remember these words from Deuteronomy: You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. {6:5-9}

So much of what we teach is how we act {gulp!}. And these verses remind me that everything I do and say is teaching something to my children. Teaching them anger or patience. Teaching hate or love. Trusting in man or trusting in God. Teaching them to love God and follow him above all else is the most important thing I can model. And moms are perfectly placed to demonstrate these truths to their children.

Becoming a mom doesn’t mean your dreams end. Becoming a mom doesn’t mean you never have fun or do what you want. Often our desires or aspirations are put on hold while we have little ones but those years are never wasted. Maybe your child will be a doctor who helps others, or a judge who stands for the oppressed, or a teacher who loves kids unwanted at home. For all of these careers, raising children who love God and His Word is the greatest lesson you can teach. And it begins with a mom who loves them.

Please don't read this and think I'm advocating for a mom month. But if you are a mom and feel overlooked or marginalized or invisible, I see you and I'm cheering you on. The fruit of your labor {raising your children} won't be fully known for years but what you do today matters. Press on, Momma. And lean on God.

Photo by Guillaume de Germain on Unsplash

Thanksgiving Activities

As I mentioned in my last post, an attitude of being grateful is so important for us and necessary to cultivate in our kids. We are not naturally thankful people. Our mind and desires are constantly pulled by what we want, not pleased with what we have. If we are truly to be good stewards and appreciate what God gives us, we must be thankful people.

It's easy to talk a good talk but true thankfulness is demonstrated by our attitude and actions. When we complain or worry or covet, we are showing how ungrateful we are for the blessings we already have. Sitting down and literally counting our blessings is one of the best ways to fight off the bad attitude blues and there are a variety of ways to get kids involved in this practice. November isn't the only month to use these ideas and I'll give some adaptation ideas if you want to practice thankfulness in May.

Wreath

Last year at Target in the dollar spot I found a foam wreath and 20-something leaves that you could write on and attach to the wreath using double sided tape squares. This year I saw a similar idea there but it was snowflakes instead of leaves. Something like this is a great afternoon craft and then it can go on display for the rest of the month with something you are thankful for written on each leaf. If you can’t find these at Target anymore, the Dollar Store would be a great place to look.

Tree

If you have a tree in need of pruning, cut branches off and put them in a vase or container — in essence making your own tree. Cut leaf shapes out {I found free leaf printables on Pinterest and printed them on colorful paper}, hole punch, and tie loops with yarn or twine. In the past, we’ve used this as a centerpiece on Thanksgiving Day, giving people a leaf or two to write what they are thankful for. Before our meal, we go around the table reading our leaves and hanging them on the tree. This can easily be changed into Christmas ornaments with time given to express thanks before we open presents.

Garland

One year I printed enough leaves for everyday in November leading to Thanksgiving and gathered clothespins. I hung twine across the family room, attached to the walls with Command hooks. Each morning at breakfast, I would ask my kids what they were thankful for, write it on two leaves {I only had two children at the time}, and hang them on the garland. When the leaves in our box ran out, it was Thanksgiving Day and our garland was a full decoration for our guests to read and enjoy. This is a great way to count down to an event and keep the focus on what we’ll be celebrating, not on how long we have to wait for the day to get here! Change the leaves to snowflakes, flowers, watering cans, or pumpkins depending on the season and make any time of year a time to give thanks!

Journal

Another great Target dollar spot find is a set of eight journals, each with 16 or so pages. Challenge older kids to write something everyday they are thankful for, maybe with a little more embellishment than “I’m thankful for food.” For younger children, they can draw a picture. This activity can be modified for different ages and various seasons very easily. In the spring, have children list what they are most excited about for summer then ask how it makes them thankful {“I’m excited to swim” becomes “I’m thankful we can go to the pool” or “I’m thankful I know how to swim”}. If you don’t have a journal or notebook, have kids make their own by hole punching copier paper and stringing yarn through the holes. These would be fun to keep and look back on each year.

A-Z Game

My dad is famous — maybe infamous — in our family for always instigating this game on Thanksgiving Day. No matter who is sharing the day with us, we always gather after dessert and before football to play. The challenge in this game is that nothing is written down, it all comes down to memory. Everyone takes turns and every turn begins by saying, “God is the source of all good things and I thank Him for…” and the first person says something starting with an A. The next person says the phrase, repeats what player one said for A, and adds B. You get the idea where this is going. This would be a great game to play in the car or on vacation, camping…. Because you don’t need any supplies, just a group of people, it’s perfect for anytime.

I hope you see that anything can be used to show what we are grateful for. What I try to do is something tangible that kids can see. When they can see how full the garland is, how many leaves are on the tree, it’s helps them to grasp how much we have to be thankful for. A running list on a chalkboard or post it notes stuck to a mirror can be just as good! Make a game of it and set a timer for 5 minutes. For every thing they mention, they get a block or a sticker or anything! When the timer goes off, count it up.

Giving thanks can be fun and creative. It can be done as a group on Thanksgiving Day or alone throughout the month. You can do it with your preschoolers all the way to college age and beyond. We are never too old to say, “Thank you, God, for all your good and precious gifts.”

Photo by Kiy Turk on Unsplash

Teaching with Patience

I love that we never stop learning. The truth that there will always be something we could do better, something we don’t fully understand, something to aspire to. I’m sure for some it’s frustrating, but I find it exciting. I love learning new things.

As a homeschool mom, I’m constantly learning new things with my kids. But I’m also noticing things that I have forgotten I ever learned. Do you sit and think about things that are second nature to you? You can’t remember when you learned them or how they clicked. You just know it. Like explaining how to hold a knife and fork to cut something or fold laundry or rinse shampoo out of your hair. I think for adults it’s easy to forget all the basic things that we’ve had to learn.

Then we have kids. And whether you homeschool or not, we suddenly find ourselves having to explain things that seem natural to us. Definitions of words, how to perform a task, why we do things a certain way or why something is necessary. It’s all new to our children. They are discovering this world for the first time and everything is fresh and uncertain and unfamiliar. It’s up to us to guide them.

My son has a large vocabulary for a five year old. He was an early talker and if anything, his communication skills have increased tenfold. But he also listens and pays attention more than I’ve given him credit for. When he hears a word in a sentence, he can use that word in another sentence and it will make sense. But I’m finding out he doesn’t know what the word actually means. He just knows how to use it from hearing it in context. So all these words like ‘especially’, ‘specific’, ‘spontaneous’, ‘direct’, etc. that he’s been saying for years he is finally asking me what it means. And I often have to think a little longer than I want to admit to come up with a good definition.

A huge part of parenting is breaking down information, making it accessible and relevant to our kids. We need to demonstrate and explain why knowledge is important. If they feel like they don’t need a certain set of information, why learn it? I felt this way about math. If I have a calculator, why memorize times tables? {That argument didn’t work with my parents and I’m not letting my kids off either.} But to keep them learning, we need to foster an environment where they 1} want to ask questions and 2} feel safe asking questions.

A Desire to Ask

And this is where patience comes in. It can be incredibly frustrating when everything you do or everywhere you go is met with a slew of questions. “Why are stoplights red? Why is there a yellow light? What does definitely mean? Why can we definitely not buy that? How long is a month? How long is an hour? Do we have to count to 60 for 60 seconds to pass? Why is my birthday in March? Why do I have to hold my pencil like that? How do you know the chicken is cooked? Why are you cooking those carrots?” In case you’re wondering, I’ve been asked all these questions right in the middle of tasks I was attempting to complete and it is very frustrating and distracting to think of answers and explain reasonings while trying to drive, cook, shop, etc.

But I try to remind myself my kids aren’t asking these things to be annoying. They have a genuine curiosity about the things around them. They also know the best way to learn is to ask. I try my best to answer but sometimes I have to resort to a new default we 21st century parents have: let’s ask Google. Sometimes I don’t know the answer or I don’t have the brain power to explain coherently why there are 24 hours in a day. So we ask Google or look online together.

I never want my kids to think their questions are dumb or unimportant because that’s the first step in them not asking me questions anymore. If they feel silly or like I’m too busy to answer, they will assume it’s not worth the embarrassment to ask and move on. I think we’ve all either been the kid who doesn’t ask questions or witnessed a kid not asking questions because of how adults responded. I see this happen just going to the grocery store. A child asks the parent how bread is made and the parent either ignores him in an attempt to get through the shopping trip or says something like, “Machines make it” and moves on.

The Safety of Asking

The second point I mentioned above is feeling safe enough to keep asking. Part of this is the child’s personality — naturally shy children usually have a harder time speaking up, even in a nurturing environment. But if we laugh, tease, mock, or ridicule children for asking about the world around them, any child is going to feel silly and eventually stop asking. Remember at the beginning when I mentioned so many things being second nature to adults, we have forgotten we learned them? When our children ask us why we have to wash hands before eating, it’s easy to say, “To get rid of germs” and move on. But they might then ask what germs are, how we get them, why we don’t want them, what they look like. If we put a blanket statement of, “Just wash your hands!” over all inquiries about germs, they will continue to wonder about them but they might not feel like asking about them anymore. We have forgotten that at one point, we had to learn everything we know about germs too.

It can be incredibly difficult to not laugh at some of the things kids say or ask. I’m often caught completely off guard by the things they wonder about or how they pronounce words. But even if I have to bite my inner cheek for a few seconds before responding, I try to not treat their questions like a big joke. I haven’t always done a good job of this and I can remember watching the embarrassment rise in their little faces and the quick, “Never mind” as they acted like it wasn’t important. And I immediately felt guilty for making light of their natural curiosity.

We as parents need to realize children learn through asking and wondering and if they don’t believe we care, listen to, or take seriously their questions, they will stop asking us and find an outlet that will listen. And they might start getting answers we don’t agree with. We live in an age of information but not all information is equal or correct if we want to instill a biblical worldview in our children. God has given us these little blessings called children and it is our responsibility to teach them, train them to follow God. Yes, it takes time and patience. It requires us to think through things in different ways and see the world through their eyes. But it is a task well worth the effort, for our children and for us.

In closing, I’ve been convicted by two verses recently that go hand in hand with teaching in patience:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Psalm 127:3

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