The Small Gift of Gratitude

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. Yes, I love the food and time with family and football games. But I especially love the focus on stopping and being grateful.

Gratitude is one of the simplest joys you can add to your life. It doesn’t cost a thing — except maybe your pride — and truly adds to your life. Studies have shown grateful people are more happy and more optimistic. And it’s a nice change to be looking outward in our selfish culture. Unfortunately, sometimes we miss the joy of gratitude because we’re focused on the wrong things.

When we think about what we are thankful for, we tend to think of big picture things: health, a new house, a promotion, etc. And while those are definitely things to be thankful for, if don’t experience any “big” moments in our year, we can overlook some incredible small blessings if we aren’t careful.

My kids are wonderful at pointing me to the small blessings, even if they don’t realize it. They see the world through a different lens than I do and their perspective can be refreshing. My daughter was noticing the clouds move through the sky today and remarked how they looked like God was pushing them along. I love that. God being sovereign over His creation, moving the clouds that will create the storms that will bring the rain and snow we need. Small blessing.

My oldest daughter made a purse and I asked if she was keeping it or gifting it. “I’m giving it to a friend,” she replied. I’m so thankful my kids have friends that are good influences, kind, helpful, fun, and encouraging. None of them are perfect, but they are all working and learning and growing together in Christ. Small blessing.

I could go on…pink sunsets, the heater under my desk, music, birds at my feeder, books, sweet memories with friends, laughter, the smell of cinnamon, bread fresh from the oven, snow.

It really doesn’t take long before our gratitude stretches across pages. But only if we have eyes open to appreciate the simplest, smallest of things.

I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving and may gratitude become a way of life.

Photo by Stephanie Klepacki on Unsplash

Thanksgiving

It’s the week of Thanksgiving, one of my favorite times of year.

I love the food, traditions, moments of reflection, colors, decor. It’s a wonderful blend of family and friends coming together to celebrate and remember.

I always try to have an activity or craft for the kids that focuses on what they are thankful for. It’s true that once you start listing things, it’s difficult to find a stopping point! We have so many blessings, big and small, that should be remembered and rejoiced in.

For kids especially, these “I’m thankful for…” lists usually amount to their favorites. Favorite food, animals, things. It becomes a “My Favorites” list, which isn’t a bad thing; you can be thankful for your favorite things. But I was thinking, are we ever thankful for things that aren’t in that favorites list?

It’s an easy practice to think about what we love, what was fun, what went well and be thankful. But have you ever looked over the year and reflected on how the hard, difficult times and decisions changed you? I’m not saying you have to be thankful for the actual hard things themselves: illness, pain, loss, strain, etc. It might be difficult or impossible to truthfully say we are thankful for those things in our lives and situations. But maybe while walking through a hardship, you learned something about God, you found yourself focused on a certain attribute of his you’d overlooked, you memorized a Psalm that took on new meaning or significance. These are the things we can be thankful for, even after a difficult year {or two!}.

When I look back on 2021, I see a lot that frustrated me and discouraged me but I also have some wonderful memories with my family, I saw God provide financially, I grew deeper in some friendships, and learned more about empathy with others. I came to the end of my strength while dealing with constant pain and was reminded I have nothing under control, but God does.

So as you enter Thanksgiving and hopefully have time to reflect on 2021, don’t be afraid to give more than surface thanks {food, shelter, friends, etc.}. Think and pray about how God has used the good and discouraging of this year to draw you closer to himself.

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With a Thankful Heart

It’s the week of Thanksgiving, one of my favorite holidays.

I try to keep a list of gratitude all year but for this week, what I’m thankful for comes to the front of my mind. It’s a good practice and habit to recite to others and ourselves what God has done for us. But it’s also important for us to remember and give thanks for Who God is.

With everything going on in the world in 2020, I’ve felt a special pull to rejoice in Who God is and the confidence I can have — even in times of chaos — because of Him. As we go into Thursday and through the end of the year, take time to praise and thank God for Who He is and what He has promised. Here are a few prompts to get you started:

God is…

Compassionate

Faithful

Just

Patient

Everlasting

Worthy

Holy…

God is also the giver of good gifts and because of that, we can praise Him for all the blessings we experience…

Family

Home

Music

Friends

Ability to worship

Ability to pray

Health…

Let’s leave 2020 with a grateful heart and a long list of what we are thankful for.

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Holiday Expectations

This week is Thanksgiving and then we rush headlong into the busy season: Christmas.

Everyone knows holidays can be crazy. Extra people, lots of food meaning lots of planning and preparation, decorating, special events, concerts, recitals, parties. I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t have a hundred things going on between now and December 31. And even though we love family and doing special things and making the season memorable for our kids, it’s hard to not become a little overwhelmed.

As my kids get older, I feel more pressure to do things that they’ll remember. If they loved something we ate or did last year, we have to do it this year and the next and the next…. Traditions are important, right? As moms, it’s easy to believe tradition making is all down to us. We have to make every moment of the holidays special, no matter what it requires or how tired it makes us.

The thing is, no one can do everything, as I was recently reminded by a friend. We can pin all the ideas, buy all the trendy stuff, stay up all hours but we’re only human. If we’re too drowsy to enjoy the fun, too irritated to be joyful, too busy to sit and eat, what is the point of it all? It’s not bad to want to make the holidays memorable and keep traditions going, but if we’re so focused on doing all the things that we don’t enjoy them and our joy is actually being replaced with anger and complaining, it’s not worth it.

So how do you stop a grumbling spirit from ruining the holidays? Be honest about why you’re doing things. Is it out of true joy or a feeling of obligation? Are you afraid the holiday will be terrible unless you do XYZ? Are you putting too much on yourself in this season?

Let me give you a silly example. When I was growing up, Thanksgiving meant pulling out the china and making place cards. I loved the food but as a little girl who aspired to be a princess, I loved the beauty and specialness of a well set table. I still love making holiday meals really special by using china, real silverware and cloth napkins, and decorating the table with place cards and candles. Even after having children, I’ve pulled the china out of the cabinet for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. But this year for Thanksgiving, I bought paper plates and napkins at Hobby Lobby. We’re hosting my parents and some of Tommy’s family and the number of people coming just made real dishes and napkins not realistic. I knew I would love the look of the table set with fine china but I would also be standing at the sink washing dishes long after the meal was over. And probably grumbling to myself that everyone else was off playing games and watching football.

Maybe this would never bother you but I half jokingly sobbed to Tommy that my standards were slipping when I told him we would be using paper this Thanksgiving. Maybe for you it’s not preparing a whole turkey or buying pies from Costco instead of homemade. Maybe it’s asking for help with the meal or changing a tradition slightly. Things like illness, a new baby, changes in the family, or moving are events we sometimes experience around holidays that make traditions difficult or impossible. Give yourself grace and do what you can with a joyful spirit, not expecting perfection.

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Thanksgiving Activities

As I mentioned in my last post, an attitude of being grateful is so important for us and necessary to cultivate in our kids. We are not naturally thankful people. Our mind and desires are constantly pulled by what we want, not pleased with what we have. If we are truly to be good stewards and appreciate what God gives us, we must be thankful people.

It's easy to talk a good talk but true thankfulness is demonstrated by our attitude and actions. When we complain or worry or covet, we are showing how ungrateful we are for the blessings we already have. Sitting down and literally counting our blessings is one of the best ways to fight off the bad attitude blues and there are a variety of ways to get kids involved in this practice. November isn't the only month to use these ideas and I'll give some adaptation ideas if you want to practice thankfulness in May.

Wreath

Last year at Target in the dollar spot I found a foam wreath and 20-something leaves that you could write on and attach to the wreath using double sided tape squares. This year I saw a similar idea there but it was snowflakes instead of leaves. Something like this is a great afternoon craft and then it can go on display for the rest of the month with something you are thankful for written on each leaf. If you can’t find these at Target anymore, the Dollar Store would be a great place to look.

Tree

If you have a tree in need of pruning, cut branches off and put them in a vase or container — in essence making your own tree. Cut leaf shapes out {I found free leaf printables on Pinterest and printed them on colorful paper}, hole punch, and tie loops with yarn or twine. In the past, we’ve used this as a centerpiece on Thanksgiving Day, giving people a leaf or two to write what they are thankful for. Before our meal, we go around the table reading our leaves and hanging them on the tree. This can easily be changed into Christmas ornaments with time given to express thanks before we open presents.

Garland

One year I printed enough leaves for everyday in November leading to Thanksgiving and gathered clothespins. I hung twine across the family room, attached to the walls with Command hooks. Each morning at breakfast, I would ask my kids what they were thankful for, write it on two leaves {I only had two children at the time}, and hang them on the garland. When the leaves in our box ran out, it was Thanksgiving Day and our garland was a full decoration for our guests to read and enjoy. This is a great way to count down to an event and keep the focus on what we’ll be celebrating, not on how long we have to wait for the day to get here! Change the leaves to snowflakes, flowers, watering cans, or pumpkins depending on the season and make any time of year a time to give thanks!

Journal

Another great Target dollar spot find is a set of eight journals, each with 16 or so pages. Challenge older kids to write something everyday they are thankful for, maybe with a little more embellishment than “I’m thankful for food.” For younger children, they can draw a picture. This activity can be modified for different ages and various seasons very easily. In the spring, have children list what they are most excited about for summer then ask how it makes them thankful {“I’m excited to swim” becomes “I’m thankful we can go to the pool” or “I’m thankful I know how to swim”}. If you don’t have a journal or notebook, have kids make their own by hole punching copier paper and stringing yarn through the holes. These would be fun to keep and look back on each year.

A-Z Game

My dad is famous — maybe infamous — in our family for always instigating this game on Thanksgiving Day. No matter who is sharing the day with us, we always gather after dessert and before football to play. The challenge in this game is that nothing is written down, it all comes down to memory. Everyone takes turns and every turn begins by saying, “God is the source of all good things and I thank Him for…” and the first person says something starting with an A. The next person says the phrase, repeats what player one said for A, and adds B. You get the idea where this is going. This would be a great game to play in the car or on vacation, camping…. Because you don’t need any supplies, just a group of people, it’s perfect for anytime.

I hope you see that anything can be used to show what we are grateful for. What I try to do is something tangible that kids can see. When they can see how full the garland is, how many leaves are on the tree, it’s helps them to grasp how much we have to be thankful for. A running list on a chalkboard or post it notes stuck to a mirror can be just as good! Make a game of it and set a timer for 5 minutes. For every thing they mention, they get a block or a sticker or anything! When the timer goes off, count it up.

Giving thanks can be fun and creative. It can be done as a group on Thanksgiving Day or alone throughout the month. You can do it with your preschoolers all the way to college age and beyond. We are never too old to say, “Thank you, God, for all your good and precious gifts.”

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Cultivating Gratitude

It’s that season of Thanksgiving.

I love Thanksgiving. The food, the football, Fall, a chance to reflect on the year. It’s easy to think our thanks is relegated to this one day. But really we should be grateful all year. I’ve found being thankful is something that is often the first to depart in the midst of life. We’re busy, stressed, frustrations happen, disappointments. The car breaks down, the kids get sick on vacation, we don’t get a promotion, a friend gets difficult news. All the perfect plans we have made and counted on are suddenly ashes. And our attitudes become the first casualties.

I hadn’t really noticed how much work gratitude takes until I became a mom. Once my kids were old enough to voice an opinion, it quickly became apparent it didn’t take much to ruin their day. A toy goes missing, a playdate is cancelled, they aren’t allowed to just eat chicken nuggets and fries. Then they start throwing around the words, “never” and “always” and it sounds like they have the worst life ever.

Suddenly, any fun they were having is gone. All joy is taken from their faces as they focus on one thing: what they don’t have. It used to frustrate me until I applied the admonitions I gave to my children to myself. We can choose to be happy, even in the midst of disappointment. We can choose to be grateful in what we have, even while we mourn something that was lost. It’s all about choosing where our focus will be and dwelling on gratitude not complaining.

We don’t like to think of ourselves as ungrateful because we usually don’t like to be around complainers {am I alone in this?!} And when we aren’t thankful for what we have, it tends to manifest itself in complaining. Have you ever considered that adults have the same emotions as children? The difference is that we’ve learned we can’t physically display it in tantrums — maybe I should say most adults have learned this. When something disappoints us, we probably don’t sit on the floor screaming that life isn’t fair but we might tell our friends all our woes, state nothing good happens to us, everything is against us, etc. In those moments, we are complainers, seeing what we don’t have instead of having a grateful heart.

November is a wonderful time to form a habit of cultivating gratitude. We are reminded to, '“Give Thanks” through home decor, plates, pillows, and garlands. And while kids might already be writing Christmas wish lists, it’s the perfect opportunity to talk with them about being thankful for what they already have before they go wanting more.

On my next post, I’m going to give a few suggestions for cultivating gratitude in yourself and your kids this November. They aren’t difficult or time consuming. Just gentle reminders that choosing thankfulness makes all the difference.

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