Imitation Motherhood

Have you heard the saying, ‘Do what I say not what I do’? It seems to be a favorite phrase of parents everywhere. The problem with this is that children are born imitators. That's how God created them. They hear us repeat words before they attempt to join in. They watch us toss a ball and mimic our motions. In fact, we encourage children to watch how we do something before trying a new skill for themselves. But when we don’t want our behavior or bad habits to show up in the next generation, we fall back on sayings and excuses for why it’s okay for us but bad for them.

This is one of the challenges of motherhood, especially as children get older. They observe how we react to someone cutting us off, they listen to us complain about long lines in the grocery store, they repeat phrases they've heard us use dozens of times. Becoming a mother forces you to listen to your own advice and realize you aren't doing what you recommend. It is the greatest opportunity to be a role model, for better or worse.  

When we allow the gospel to filter through every aspect of our lives, we can turn everyday moments into teaching opportunities. We also hold ourselves to a higher standard because we are seeking the same thing we want our children to emulate: Christlikeness.

Modeling the gospel to our children requires more than a ‘do what I say not what I do’ attitude. Our goal is to point them to Christ as the ultimate source of our imitating. Moses reminded the children of Israel that they needed to repeat truths about God to their children continuously throughout the day.

‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.’ (Deut. 6:4-7)

Diligent is defined as a constant effort to accomplish something. So to teach diligently gives the idea of continual instruction from us to our children. This goes beyond words to actions as well.

Paul understood the importance of being an example in the life of a Christian. When he wrote to the church in Corinth, he stressed in two different chapters, ‘Be imitators of me.’ But he knew he wasn't the prime influence these people needed. I Corinthians 11:1 clearly states, ‘Imitate me as I imitate Christ.’

With each of his instructions to the church Paul reminded them that he was not the top authority the body needed to emulate. The goal for this life is to be like Christ. And because Paul sought to follow Christ in word and deed, the Corinthians could look to his example as one of Christlikeness.

Many times our excuse for not being the gospel focused example we are called to be in Christ comes down to one thing: we know we aren't perfect so why should we want our children to imitate us? We think it's so much easier to simply tell them what we expect than to actually live it out on a daily basis ourselves. But that's taking the easy road. That's not holding ourselves to the same standard we expect of our children.

And they might keep all the rules and do what we say for the short term but it won't make a lasting impression on their lives or create any real change. The truth of the gospel is that it can take our sinful nature and work change in us and in our children. The grace we have received is available to them also.

But that requires us to show the gospel to our children, even at the earliest ages. Proverbs 22:6 says ‘Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.’ The Hebrew word for train here is also translated as dedicate in three other passages. Our role as mothers is not passive or one of expecting our children to just turn out well. We are to actively show them the gospel and dedicate them to following the Lord. There's no better way to train children for a task than to show them an example. And we are the closest example God has put in their lives.

Asking our children to imitate our example is a huge commitment. It means when we fail, we seek forgiveness. It requires that we live in the light of grace everyday and show them the grace we ourselves need.

When we watch our children, their sin is so obvious to us and our response is equally cut and dry. We remind them of biblical truth, emphasize why it's important to follow God, explain why their behavior was a sin, point out that God is always ready to forgive when we ask, and so on.

However, we are not always as quick to call our failings sin. We stress the importance of relying on God to provide for our needs but try to plan everything ourselves. We tell them to apologize for yelling at a sibling but excuse our own raised voices as frustration. We quote, ‘Do all things without murmurings and disputings’ (Phil. 2:14) when they complain about chores but gripe every time we have to clean the bathrooms.

If we want our children to grow in gospel grace we must show them that the same truths we apply to their lives apply to us as well. We know we will never be perfect examples but we can point them to the Perfect Example. By allowing the gospel to be our source of hope and help, we model what they should be trusting as well.

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Signs of What We Love

If someone were to walk into your home, without knowing you well, what would she notice? What evidence of your life would she see? Probably she would see things you hold dear - photos of family, mementos or souvenirs that are special. Think about places you’ve been where the interests, hobbies, or lifestyle of the owners were quickly apparent based on what you observed in their space.

Now multiply that by observing how they live. Not only the things that surround them in their home but the way they interact in various surroundings. How do they treat others? What do they spend time and attention on? How is their language or topics of conversation? We can learn a lot about people by observing them.

I’m a mom to three young children and no matter how hard I try to have a picture perfect home, there are always reminders that small children dwell with me. Handprints on windows, toys under chairs, half-eaten snacks at the kitchen counter. Then there are the pictures of my kids filling frames on the walls, sitting on shelves and side tables. A basket of library books, suspiciously filled with kid-friendly titles.

No one who enters my home would doubt that kids are a big part of my daily life. Neither would a visitor ask if I loved my kids or if they were important to me. It’s obvious from the popsicle stick crafts still drying on the table to the school worksheets spread over the floor. I’m proud of my kids, love my kids, devote my days to them and their growth.

The same should be true of our relationship with God. We could even call it the evidence we are Christians. When we talk about evidence of God in our lives, what are we talking about? What does evidence mean that we would choose that word to describe our relationship?

According to the dictionary, evidence means, ‘To make plain or clear, an indication or sign’. So our relationship with God should be plain for all to see and observe. It shouldn’t be a secret that we are Christians, children of God. It should be clear that how we treat people and respond in situations is tied to our belief in God. Everything about our lives should breathe and show that we know God.

When people observe us, they are witnessing much more than our love of family or a certain pet. Often, they are judging our faith by how we mirror God. Have you ever had an unsaved friend tell you you don’t act like a Christian? Or maybe that they couldn’t believe you were a Christian when they found out. Sometimes this is because their notion of what a Christian looks like is wrong. {Maybe they see all Christians as judgmental prudes that never have fun or delight in anything. So they are surprised when you are joyful or loving.} But sometimes it might be an indication that we have lived so long seeking after the things of the world that we haven’t allowed room for God.

Romans 12:2 is very clear on how a Christian should respond to the world we are dwelling in. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” Hebrews mentions that we are pilgrims passing through, that we should recognize this is not our final home and we don’t serve the things of this world. [Hebrews 11:13-16}

When you look at how you respond to things or people, would you say there is a plain and clear sign in your life that you serve God above all else? Let’s hold the mirror up and truly evaluate how those around see us.

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The Necessity of Fellowship

Have you ever found Sunday the most difficult morning to get out of bed? As a family, we try to make Saturday nights low key and laid back so we can prepare for the next day. But somehow, even if everyone goes to bed early and sleeps well, the Sunday wake up call is hard to get up for. And in the midst of school, work, sports, busy schedules from all sides, the temptation to sleep in and miss church is a struggle.

“I’ll listen to a sermon podcast,” we say, “I’ll make it next week.”

But the truth is there will always be a reason or an excuse to miss fellowship with God’s people. And when we make a habit of it, we are missing out in several ways.

Full disclaimer: I am not just saying this as a pastor's wife.

The truth is the church is important not just because of what we learn from God's Word but because of the interactions we have with other believers. Part of what we gain by going to church is encouragement from other people. We also have the opportunity to be a blessing to others that would not have happened if we had stayed in our homes and listened to sermons online.

In all honesty there have been some Sundays where I have not felt like getting out of bed and going to church. I didn't force myself to church because I am a pastor's wife. I went because I realized I needed to go, maybe even more so on the days I didn't feel like it. We have six days a week that bombard us with the things of the world. Even if we spend time everyday in the Bible, in prayer, and utilizing resources online in the form of podcasts, sermons, etc, there is no substitute for gathering together with like-minded believers and building one another up in Christ.

When I hear people say they don't need a local church because they listen to ‘XYZ pastor,’ I'm sad for them and what they are missing out on by not having a regular group of people they can worship with. They often make the argument that they can worship anywhere and they choose to worship in their own homes, on their own terms. And while there is a time for us to worship in solitude, it should not be the norm if we wish to truly grow spiritually and seek to help others.

There is a time and a place for the benefits technology can give us. Those that physically are not able to leave their homes and participate in a local church are able to listen to podcasts and sermons and grow spiritually through them. But no matter how great the preacher or how wonderful the message, we should not allow these online moments to be our only interaction with fellow believers.

First Corinthians speaks of the church being like a body (I Corinthians 12:12-31). Each member has a specific talent and ability that cannot fully be used in isolation. The writer of the book of Hebrews instructs us to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together (Hebrews 10:25). Paul mentions often in his epistles that we are to be building each other up (I Thessalonians 5:14), forgiving others (Colossians 3:13), rejoicing with and encouraging those around us (Ephesians 4:15-16; Colossians 3:13).

The idea that we can get everything we need spiritually from an online sermon is selfish. We are promoting the convenience of staying home instead of getting out, going to church, and seeing how we can minister to those around us.

We should also remember that the Christian life is not meant to be a solitary endeavor. From Christ’s own example we see the importance of discipling others and, starting from the early church, we see the importance of gathering together. Think of the joy and unity we see in the church in Acts. For them gathering together was making a statement of who they were identifying with. In some cases it would have even been dangerous to be associated with Christians. But they craved the times together when they could leave worldly influences and come together in the bond of Christ. The same is true of the persecuted church throughout the world today. There are some who are willing to risk imprisonment, torture, or death because of the joy that comes from being with other Christians and worshipping our Lord.

Remember that we are in a spiritual battle. Satan must be delighted when we become Our Own Worst Enemy and choose to fight individually instead of coming together and fighting with other Christians. I've said jokingly to some that Satan must work overtime on Sunday mornings because that is the day the children want to sleep in, the day I am most tired, and the day 100 things seem to happen to keep me from fellowshipping with other believers.

God wants us to grow closer to him and part of this is done by rubbing shoulders with other believers who can help us, encourage us, and who we can turn around and invest ourselves in. There is a true beauty and joy that can only be experienced when we come together, gathering in unity to worship our Lord.

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

A New Perspective on Birthdays

We've been in birthday mode at our house this month. My youngest turned one last week and my birthday was a few days after. My two older children were very excited to be planning and preparing for a first birthday party and going out to lunch for my birthday.

Somewhere along the years, birthdays lose the magic they had when we were children. We start dreading the day that rolls around every year, a sign we are another year older. We downplay the day, maybe fudge on our age. The joy of each year bringing new adventures and learning new things doesn't excite us anymore.

I will admit, this year I was not looking forward to my birthday. I didn’t want to admit how old I was turning, even to myself. In the months before, I thought about all the things I haven't done yet, the sleep I've lost because of my kids, the things I've failed at, the people I've hurt. My life doesn’t look like I expected it to at this age. To be blunt, I was discouraged with where I am and all the wasted years.

But after seeing the excitement of my children as they woke up every morning and asked if it was finally a birthday day, I took a long look at what those years behind me meant.

For one thing, the years are a testament of God’s grace and protection in my life. My reaching another birthday is not a surprise to God. He continues to show patience and mercy with me as I follow him, make mistakes, and start following him again.

I’m also not in the same place I was a year ago. I’ve grown in my mothering abilities — not without some failures — I’ve learned more about God through my Bible reading, seen answered prayer, and witnessed people changed. I would like to think I’m more mature but maybe that’s wishful thinking.

As hard as it is to admit that I’ve lived another year that I’ll never get back, when I looked at the attitude I was displaying because of that fact, I was somewhat ashamed. Tommy and I remind our children to ‘Do all things without complaining’ and ‘In everything give thanks’ and I noticed as February drew closer those verses could not be used to describe me.

Have you noticed when you first meet someone with children you ask their ages? The answer gives a clue to what they are able to do, their school grade and what they might be learning. How old you are is big news until you reach mid 20s. Then most people start to answer the age question with, ‘I graduated high school awhile ago,’ or ‘I don’t remember being that young.’ Suddenly our age is perceived as a negative strike against us, instead of the banner we proudly held as a youngster.

Well, I’m thankful for every year of life God has granted me. Every one of those 365 — sometimes 366 days — is a witness that God is patient and gracious and faithful. He has worked in my life and through various situations in every one of my years. Some brought more tears than smiles, others were covered in joy and laughter. But through every year God has been the unchanging guide. I’m no longer ashamed to proclaim my new age. And I am no longer disappointed with the haven’t dones and missed chances of my life. I’m challenging myself and you to give God our days and years and praise him for every one.

And by the way, I turned 35.

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The Truth about Suffering

I don’t write or share about political things often because I find, personally, those types of conversations are better served in person. Just throwing my opinion on the internet, I have no idea who will read it and it doesn’t always end up edifying. But sometimes the things I read strike a note that I can not ignore. I know these are difficult things to talk about but, personal feelings aside, what the Bible says is what should govern our lives. Not how we feel, not what is popular, not what so-and-so is saying. We need to bring the truth of the Bible into these conversations and that is my purpose in writing this. I’m not saying suffering is easy, enjoyable, or we should walk through life with a permanent smile. But suffering is addressed in the Bible and that is what I pray you see in this post.

There seems to be a myth in certain branches of Christianity that suffering is bad. While scrolling through Twitter last week, I came across a tweet by a supposedly Christian author. In her series of tweets she proposed we shouldn't judge people who choose to abort babies known to have a terminal illness or defects because we should want to keep the baby and the parents from unnecessary suffering. According to her, it isn't merciful or necessary to have the baby and praise God for the few hours you might have with your child. We won't go into all the problems with that assumption but it made me think about what we read in the Bible concerning suffering.

I'm sure we can quickly point to several examples of suffering in the Bible and the lessons learned. But I want to look at one specific reference that I believe shows the attitude we should have when faced with trials, no matter the length of time we experience them.

In John 9, we read of a man who was born blind. The disciples asked Jesus why he was born without sight and we learn a great deal from his answer. “Jesus answered, ‘It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.’” (v. 3) In this instance, God was glorified because the man was given his sight and people saw Jesus's power on display. But even though our circumstances might seem less dramatic, God still works in them and we should still glorify him in the midst of our suffering.

Now I want to note two things that are important to remember. First, sin has consequences - sometimes lasting ones - so when we find ourselves in the middle of something, we need to honestly look at our life and see if there's something we've done that has put us in the situation.

Second, God is good. Therefore he doesn't bring bad things into our lives. But we live in a sin cursed world where evil and pain exist. The good news is God can use suffering and trials to draw us closer to himself and also to show us his power (Rom. 8:28-29).

In all his teachings, Jesus never promised his followers an easy life (John 15:18-19). He said they would suffer persecutions, loss of family, even lose their own lives. James reminds us in his book that trials are part of the Christian life (1:2-4, 12). Peter also notes that suffering is to be expected when we follow Christ (I Peter 4:12).

This doesn’t mean we should long for suffering and trials and pursue difficult paths just to see how God will work. But when we find ourselves in the midst of suffering, we shouldn’t be looking for any opportunity to get away or willing to compromise biblical truth so we can enjoy life better. The familiar example of this is Job. He suffered the loss of everything - family, wealth, possessions, health - and though he never knew the reason for his sufferings, he learned a whole lot about Who God is (Job 38-40).

And isn’t that what we should long for in any situation? Whether we are going through a trial or living our daily life, we should desire to know God more. Sometimes it takes a hard season to fully see the power of God in all circumstances and we will miss out on the lesson and the chance to glorify God if we are focused on making this life easy and pain free.

Back to the tweet that started my mind down this path. When we start saying we deserve to avoid suffering no matter the cost, we start limiting God’s power. In the case of a difficult diagnosis for an unborn baby, God can work miracles. I’m amazed at the number of posts I’ve read in the last week where a baby that should have died at birth is thriving years later. Yes, there is pain and heartache in the waiting and circumstances but there is also God who gives peace, grace, and healing when we rest in him.

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Who Do We Trust?

I've been thinking a lot about trust lately. In our kids program at church I've been talking with the children about trusting in Jesus alone for salvation. But that made me think about after. Can we ever stop trusting God? And what does trust even mean? If we say we are trusting God for XYZ, what are we admitting to?

The dictionary definition of trust is, “Reliance on the integrity, ability, strength of a person or thing.” We could also use the words “Confidence, hope.” Trust is a word we probably use frequently: “I’m trusting this chair will hold me, I trust the store will have my order.”

I admit trust is a word that's easy to say but not always easy to do. I've also found it difficult to live out this trust in a daily way. How do we show we trust someone? My biggest struggle is with my children.

Moms are supposed to be the glue that holds a family together and, while that's a nice thought, I don’t find it very comforting. I daily feel the pressure to raise my kids to follow God, be kind, be smart, be humble, be leaders, and the list goes on. Society has made us question everything we do when it comes to raising children. And if we do something wrong, our children will suffer later in life from the strain (that's a little dramatic but you get the idea). When we believe we are completely in control of future outcomes, we obviously have a trust issue.

The truth is no matter how much we mold and lead and influence our children for how we want them to turn out, they are individual people with free choice. There are no guarantees that the perfectly structured childhood we plan for our kids leads them to a perfect adulthood.

It might sound like I'm advocating to do nothing and let the dice fall where they may. Not so. We as parents have the greatest influence and God has given us the responsibility to raise our children to follow him. But we also must trust God with our children. There are a whole list of things God can do for my kids that I just can't. If I run around thinking I have all the answers and all the ability to be everything to my kids, I will very quickly become discouraged and fail. As a sinful human myself, I am not the perfect model of what I want my kids to be. All I can do is follow what I know God wants me to do, teach my children to do the same, and pray God will work in their lives.

Trusting God involves so much more than our initial moment of salvation. Trust means opening my tightly clinched fists and giving God everything - my time, my family, my ministry - and asking him to work. Trust is acknowledging I don't have control and to stop trying to achieve it.

When we come to Christ in salvation, trusting that he only can save us and take our punishment, that is only the beginning of our need to fully rely on God. As we go through the process of sanctification, we see more and more how our lives are transformed by the simple, difficult, daily decision to trust God more than we trust ourselves.

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Fostering Creativity in Children

We’ve been talking a lot about creativity and helping ourselves get creative and why it’s important. For the last post about creativity {for now!} I want to encourage you to help your children be creative.

This might seem strange because most children naturally enjoy pretend play, stories, and art. But there are ways we as adults sometimes hinder their efforts or maybe even keep them from trying something. So here are some tips I’ve learned - sometimes the hard way - with my kids.

1. Be encouraging. Yes, your 3 year old isn’t going to draw a cat perfectly - or anything resembling a cat. But if you only point out how funny it looks, what he should have done, or ways to improve the next drawing, your child is going to stop wanting to try. Just as we enjoy positive remarks about our attempts at things, we need to encourage our children that just attempting something is a triumph.

2. Let them try. When my kids are trying something new, I give them space to experiment before I jump in and tell them how they should do it. Failing and seeing what doesn’t work is just as much a part of learning and creating as doing a perfect job. I remember my son getting so frustrated because his block tower kept falling over. But it was because he started with the shortest block and tried to pile the long ones on top. Instead of building a tower for him, I asked him to watch how I started mine. I choose the longest blocks and made a good foundation then built up one level with the short ones. He looked, considered, and then grabbed the long pieces and started again, this time with success. But letting our kids fail at first isn’t bad; it doesn’t make us mean parents. It gives our kids a chance to discover and try and experiment. Who knows, they might come up with a way to do something we would never think of!

3. Messes happen. There are some activities that I refused for awhile because I didn’t want to mess with the mess. Painting with kids?! No way! Baking? Flour everywhere! But I have since changed my thinking on this. No, we don’t do finger painting everyday but when we do, the joy and excitement and thrill on their faces makes all the paper towel cleanup worth it. Yes, we get flour and sugar and melted butter on every kitchen surface but they really aren’t that much more messy than I am when I cook! Mess is part of life, especially a life with kids. But when you look back on a project or they remember an afternoon of creativity, none of you will remember the mess. You will remember the finished product and joy.

4. Give them access. We never know what will click with our kids. When they are born, there isn’t a manual that says, ‘This child will enjoy music and paper crafts’ or ‘She loves painting more than writing.’ We have to expose them to different things and see what sticks. In our family, we haven’t found an art project or craft that my oldest daughter doesn’t love and excel at: drawing, coloring, painting, any type of craft, designing. She also enjoys playing piano and writing her own songs. My son likes to paint his own creations but not color in a coloring book, he considers the subject of the craft {superhero or animal} more important than the actual craft, he’s beginning to enjoy music especially his ukulele. But he’s most creative in his pretend play - battling villains, building cities with Legos, playing restaurant. While there are limits to what we can do {time, money, resources} we shouldn’t limit them based on what we would choose them to do.

5. Teach them how to learn. What I mean by this is sometimes our creativity is unleashed after watching someone else. The reason I started learning handlettering and drawing flowers is because I saw greeting cards on Pinterest that looked nice but doable and I thought it would be fun to try. But just looking at the designs, I had no idea how to recreate them. I checked YouTube and found a channel to subscribe to with great tutorials. But my kids sometimes struggle with the concept of watching someone do a project that they have ideas about. So we’ve been talking about how learning requires listening and after we learn the basic concept of how to do something, we can use our own creativity to expand the original idea. I believe showing our kids the steps and process behind any kind of art helps them learn other subjects and abilities.

6. Do it together. When my kids were younger, it was obvious that all crafting would be done with me. They needed help cutting, gluing, finding needed materials. I was not about to set them and their imaginations loose with no adult filter of reality. But as they became more independent and more able to function without me, I started drifting off the scene. They still need to ask before using certain things {glitter, paints, stamp pads, Elmer’s glue} but paper, pencils, and scissors are readily available. But it’s amazing how often they want me involved, even if it is something they can do on their own. They want me to watch or they ask what color I would like. So I encourage you to sit with your kids as they create. Even if you aren’t assisting with the process, ask them to explain what they are doing, why they chose those colors or that paper. Let them know that you are interested, that you care about their creative endeavors.

I could go on but we’ll leave it at this for now. The big thing I want to encourage you with is to not be afraid of creativity, in yourself or your kids. Learn something new, try a project, create something together and have fun. You’ll probably see a new side to your kids and maybe even yourself.

Photo by Joshua Eckstein on Unsplash

Finding Our Creativity

I wrote last week about why creativity is important. {If you didn’t see that post, click here to read.} So today I want to piggyback off of that thought and address you specifically. Are you creative? Well, if you read last week’s post you know the answer is YES! Everyone has a creative side - just in different ways.

I hear adults say all the time, “I’m not creative. I could never do the things you do.” But I want to stop you right there. As I mentioned above, there are differences of creativity. Some people look at a room and can visualize the perfect colors, styles, furniture for the space. Others see a collection of objects and know how to fit them together to make something. Maybe it’s looking in the pantry and throwing together a gourmet meal or a beautifully decorated cake. Or planting just the right flowers to fill a space with a variety of height and color. Or maybe it’s following the directions and pattern from someone else but putting your own flair on the finished product.

The product of creativity is all around us. But most of us still insist, “I’m not creative.” I believe much of this is thanks to the internet. It’s hard to consider your own efforts when you look on YouTube or Pinterest and see the amazing things people are able to create. We immediately think we could never do that {I’m guilty of this also} and bemoan the fact we didn’t get a creative gene.

But wait! We did! We are all capable of some form of creativity - even if we feel like we’re all thumbs. Maybe we have to practice at things that come naturally to others. Maybe our product will never look good enough to sell on Etsy. But we can do it! I offer myself as an example.

I was always more into the writing creative process than the art/craft/drawing creative process. And somehow my creativity with words seemed less stunning than a watercolor painting done by a friend. But as my daughter got older, it became clear that she was going to be a crafter. Coloring, drawing, cutting, and gluing were fun for her. While she did dress up and play with dolls, those things always led to a craft {“I need to make a paper rug for the dollhouse”, “I want to make a tiara”, “Let’s make a paperchain necklace”, etc.}. I found myself attempting a whole list of things I never thought I’d be creative enough to do because my daughter wanted to try. And I wanted to encourage her interests.

Now I’m not a master crafter and it doesn’t bring me quite the joy it brings my oldest. But I have discovered ways to let my creative side out that I never tried before being a #momofacraftqueen .

So what is stopping you? Even if you feel your creative brain is running on empty, I challenge you to give it a try! And let me say that being creative doesn’t mean being the first to come up with something. I am terrible at coming up with paper plate craft ideas, but my kids love making things from paper plates. A quick Pinterest search gives us loads of options of animals to make by cutting paper plates just so and then we get creative by decorating them how we choose! Let me encourage you with a few things I’ve done.

1. Start with coloring. The adult coloring phase is still going strong! You can find books with detailed pictures or just geometric shapes. Grab a book and some Sharpies, gel pens, or colored pencils and go to town!

2. Watch tutorials on YouTube. You can really get sucked in here! Think of something you want to learn {knitting, painting, doodling, sewing…} and search for “XYZ for beginners” or “Learning XYZ”. I’ve watched several tutorials on handlettering, watercolors, and drawing flowers. I’m no expert yet, but these gave me a start to begin practicing.

3. Ask. If you know someone who does something well, ask if they can teach you. I recently asked a friend if she can teach me and my daughter to knit. This becomes a fun time together and a chance to learn something new.

4. Start journaling. Even if you don’t know what to write, even if you think you have nothing to say, grab a beautiful, inexpensive journal from Marshall’s or Ross and just write! Write about what happened today, what you learned from your Bible reading, funny things the kids said or the dog did. Describe the weather or what you plan to do tomorrow. Once you start, it’ll become easier.

I could go on but you get the idea. The only thing holding your creativity back is you not trying. Even if you can’t visualize a project on your own and you need directions start to finish, you are making it and that makes it unique. Don’t let the fear of failing keep you from trying. Made in God’s image we have the ability to create for his glory. And when we do something we never thought we could, we can be quick to bring all the credit to him.

Photo by Elena Tudor on Unsplash

The Importance of Creativity

One of the joys of parenting is watching your children express themselves in different creative ways. When I was little I never really considered myself creative. I loved to pretend, I loved to dress up, but I was never good at drawing or painting and I considered those the ultimate form of creativity.

Once I grew up and watched my children - especially my oldest daughter who is very crafty - I realized that creativity takes all forms. It is not just painting or drawing; it is anything that you can create. Creativity is seeing in cooking, in decorating, in writing, and even in gardening.

I think sometimes as adults we lose the creative part of ourselves. Maybe we've tried something and failed so many times that we feel like it's pointless to keep on trying. We don't have the same wonder and excitement that children have when they first try something new. Maybe we've been told that we are not good at something or we feel we can’t do it as well as other people and so why should we even put forth the effort? But I think we need to remember that the God we serve is creative. He created everything that is around us: the seasons, the universe, the varying landscapes and ecosystems, the animals. I think when we give up on being creative, we are not glorifying him in all the ways that we could.

Don’t see the connection? Think about this. We read in the opening chapter of the Bible, “Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” (Gen. 1:26-27) We are all created in the image of God and he set us apart from everything else he had created. This means we have a soul, the ability to choose right or wrong, emotions, and creativity.

We are also told in I Cor. 10:31, “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.“ Whatever we do, even if we don’t think it amounts to much or matters, we are to do everything for God’s glory. I think one of the great examples of this is composer Johann Sebastian Bach. At the end of each piece of music he composed is written the phrase, “Soli Deo Gloria” - glory to God alone. Some, but not all, of Bach’s music is sacred but he saw everything he did as being a way to glorify his Creator.

I think it is also important that we encourage our children to be creative even if it is in different ways then we are comfortable in ourselves. So how, if we do not feel creative the same way as our children, do we foster and encourage their creative process? I’ll address ideas for this in a later post. But for now, consider yourself creative! God created you in his image with a unique ability to glorify him! How will you practice that today?

Photo by Tim Arterbury on Unsplash

Happy New Year!!

2019. It doesn’t seem possible yet here we are, at the start of another year.

2018 was filled with…lots of different things. Good, bad, hard, memorable, victories, laughter, tears. We had a baby, we moved, my grandma died, my parents moved, we started another homeschool year, I lost sleep. It’s hard to imagine how 12 months - 365 days - could hold so much. But here we are, on the threshold of doing it all again. Facing the unknown and trusting God to see us through.

Last year my focus was on quieting my heart. Not getting so caught up in what happened that I forgot to take time for God’s Word and peace. For this year, I didn’t choose a word to dwell on but rather a group of words. Over the last several months, the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) has come up in many conversations with my kids and members of our church. Those nine words seem so simple yet put into daily practice become so difficult. So for 2019 I’m thinking, repeating, dwelling, and focusing on those: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Look for future posts about what I’m learning and how I’m applying them to my life.

For Christmas I received from my sister a journaling Psalter. It is a book with just the Psalms but every other page is blank for notes, thoughts, doodles. Then one of my sisters in law gave me a book about the Psalms and the themes of each one. So expect to see some blog posts about what I’m learning as I read through Psalms this year.

For my daily Bible reading, I’m using my She Reads Truth Bible again and the reading plan that’s in the back of it. This version {Christian Standard} I’ve probably read/heard the least so I decided to read it again. The plan I’m using is two Old Testament and two New Testament chapters each day. It goes through Psalms and the New Testament twice in the year.

I have some goals and projects I’m working on but I’ll save those for another post. Happy January 1! Let’s use this year to serve others, glorify God, and draw closer to our Lord.

Photo by Wout Vanacker on Unsplash

Worship and Bow Down

Merry Christmas!

This morning I read Psalm 95 and it seemed fitting for what we are celebrating today. As we gather around Christmas trees with presents and tables laden with food, let us shout joyfully to God for Who he has given. Let us worship and bow down to our Lord Who offers hope, peace, and joy for today and all our tomorrows.

Psalm 95

1 Oh come, let us sing to the Lord;

let us make a joyful noise to the rock of our salvation!

2 Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving;

let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!

3 For the Lord is a great God,

and a great King above all gods.

4 In his hand are the depths of the earth;

the heights of the mountains are his also.

5 The sea is his, for he made it,

and his hands formed the dry land.

6 Oh come, let us worship and bow down;

let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!

7 For he is our God,

and we are the people of his pasture,

and the sheep of his hand.

Today, if you hear his voice,

8 do not harden your hearts, as at Meribah,

as on the day at Massah in the wilderness,

9 when your fathers put me to the test

and put me to the proof, though they had seen my work.

10 For forty years I loathed that generation

and said, "They are a people who go astray in their heart,

and they have not known my ways."

11 Therefore I swore in my wrath,

"They shall not enter my rest."

Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

Encouragement for the Weary

I don't know about you but I'm tired. We're less than a month away from the new year and I feel like I've been running a marathon since Dec. 1 (I'm guessing at what it feels like to run a marathon...not something I've done personally). But I don't think I'm alone in my exhaustion. I've seen record numbers of articles and posts on my Facebook feed about mothers at their wits end, workers tired of working, families passing each other in the night because of crazy schedules, and so on. We are a busy people.
We often hear people talking about the 'good old days' and how simple and easy life was back then. But I think what we really mean is we miss not having to hear and compare ourselves to everyone else's busyness. When we were just trying to get through our own lives we could handle it. But when we started seeing what everyone else was doing and making time for, our expectations for ourselves and our families hit the roof and boom! We suddenly have packed appointment calendars and dark circles under our eyes.
In case you're doubting the busyness of the 'good old days' let me remind you of a few things:
1) they made everything they used. I don't know about you but I've never made my own butter and soap and clothes while cooking without a microwave, doing laundry without a dryer, washing dishes without a dishwasher, and keeping the kids occupied without a tablet. We are spoiled on modern conveniences.
2) to talk to someone you had to visit them. I've sent probably a dozen texts today checking up with people, telling them I'm thinking about/praying for them, asking if they need anything. It's great to communicate so easily and freely. Before the surge of technology, you had to walk or drive or hitch up the horse to find out what was going on. And people did while still keeping up with everything from list one.
My point is life 'back then' was anything but easy. In many ways our ancestors worked harder than we do. So why, in a world filled with technology and machines that are supposed to make our lives more simple, do we find ourselves more exhausted than ever? I think the answer is we have forgotten how to rest and enjoy what we have. We are sucked into the mentality that because so many things are available we need to try them all.
Society tells us to have well rounded, healthy children, they need to play sports, take music lessons, get involved in community service, grab every opportunity they have to experience anything that might help them later in life. Oh and go to school and occasionally play with friends.
As women, we must excel in our careers, keep perfect homes, have some kind of hobby, raise well rounded, healthy children (and take them to everything mentioned above), be an excellent girlfriend/wife in every way, and do it all with a smile.
No wonder we're exhausted!! And, no, there's nothing wrong with any of the above. I'm love hearing my daughter play for music recitals and playing sports with my kids. I enjoy keeping my house tidy and seeing to the needs of my family. But what's my motivation in it all and am I trying to do more than God has called me to do in this season of life?
Do you know there is encouragement to be found though? We aren't alone. God is with us and He will give us the strength to get through what we need to. Of course, having unrealistic expectations for ourselves is never healthy and comparing what we are capable of with what others are able to do is a deadly game that usually ends in jealousy. However, in doing those things that we have been called to do, we can run to the Rock and find shelter from the chaos of this world. We can rest on Him and know He will hear our cries for help.
My 10 month old still does not sleep through the night. At least once - sometimes more - I’m waking up during the night to feed her and help her get back to sleep. I'm physically tired. I cry out to God to bring peace and rest to my weary heart and body and He doesn’t always answer by multiplying my sleeping hours but He does provide comfort that I am not alone. And He gives me strength to tackle what I need to get done.
I'm afraid sometimes when we are the most tired, our thoughts turn inward to self-pity and despair when those are the times we need to admit our inability to do anything but by the grace of God. Those are the times we need to lean on Him the most and find refreshment in His Word.
And so, weary friend, my challenge and encouragement to you is simple: will you, in the busyness of everyday life, lean on Him and find grace for today?

Photo by STIL on Unsplash

Shine Your Light

My family went to see a huge display of Christmas lights last week. I love the gentle twinkling that hangs from houses, trees, and bushes this time of year. As we passed under a tree with branches tightly wound with dozens of strands of lights, I looked up and the lights seemed as numerous as the stars.

In Matthew 5:14-16 we read, “You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.”

We are told from the beginning that Christians are like a light and like a city on a hill, we are not hidden. Let’s consider this picture for a minute. Have you ever seen a satellite image of the world at night? {If you haven’t, Google ‘world satellite at night’} It’s easy to point out where the cities are compared to the less inhabited places because the cities are glowing! Even from space, they can not be hidden or mistaken for farm land.

This shows that light can not be hidden when surrounded by darkness. Verse 15 points out that when you light a candle, you don’t place it under a basket but rather on a stand where the light can spread to the corners of the house and allow people to see. To be honest, why would you want to hide light and dwell in darkness? The point of having light in the darkness is so you see things - Legos that might hurt your tender feet, a wall you might run into, a person running through the neighborhood. Light allows us to function in dark places that would otherwise trip us up.

The purpose of this analogy is brought to our attention in verse 16. In the same way the light penetrates the darkness, we are to let our Christian witness shine. While the world tells us one thing, we are to follow God and do what he has instructed in the Bible. And when others see these good works we do and notice we are different than the world, ultimately the glory bypasses us and goes to God! Have you ever thought how God uses us - frail, sinful humans that we are - and we are able to give glory to him for all we are able to accomplish?! And others can give glory to God through what he allows us to do!

Have you ever noticed how the darkness is dispersed by just one little bulb? The lights we saw last week numbered in the millions and the night around us was bright enough to read in but even if there had been one light, the darkness would have been changed. Things would have been seen - maybe not from space but definitely from the street.

Sometimes I think we grow weary of being 'the only light’ around. The darkness of the world feels so thick and close around us. We wonder what difference our one little light will make and we hide our witness under a basket. But God can use one willing light to shine and make a difference. Maybe just in your family or workplace. Maybe never in a group of thousands but in a section of dozens. God is not limited by our limitations. Shine your light faithfully for him. Let others see how you follow him. And give him glory for what comes next.

Photo by Fred Heap on Unsplash

Looking Ahead

It’s December. Days are ticking away until Christmas and the beginning of another year. If this month follows the pattern of the previous eleven, it will go fast! I love the season from Thanksgiving to the New Year because of all the joy, traditions, fun, and family that it comes with. But because I love to plan and because I like to start the year off on a good foot, I always carve out some space in this busy time to focus on what happens beyond December 31.

During this time I decide on a Bible reading plan for the year and what version I plan to read. The past few years, I’ve chosen a word and Bible verse to focus on in addition to my read the Bible in a year plan. But this year I’m going to be doing something a little different.

I’ve decided to read my She Reads Truth Bible again in 2019 and use the reading plan that it has in the back to guide my daily reading {it usually is two Old Testament chapters, two New Testament chapters per day and you read Psalms and the New Testament twice}.

However, instead of focusing on one word for the year, I’m going to focus on prayer in general. I’ve been very burdened about my prayer life recently and the importance of asking God FIRST. So I’m going to focus on praying for specific people or things on certain days of the week. Of course there will be a certain amount of flexibility and some things I will pray for everyday, but hopefully this will help me to remember things like our government leaders, the persecuted church, etc.

I’ve also seen on Pinterest calendars for praying for your kids or spouse everyday for a month but being more specific than, “Please help little Johnny obey” or “Help my husband communicate better.” I want to incorporate some of these specifics - things like my children’s salvation, wisdom for my husband as he leads our family, good friends and influences for my kids. I believe when we are specific in our prayer requests we see how much God has already blessed us with and what he is already doing in certain circumstances.

2018 has been quite the year for our family. God blessed and went before and worked out so many things in ways we could never orchestrate on our own. I’m excited to see what I will learn, how God will stretch me, and what he has in store for our family in 2019.

Photo by Maddi Bazzocco on Unsplash

One Thing All Children Need

Last week was Thanksgiving and we were able to spend several days with my in-laws and my kids got to play with some of their cousins. As I was talking about mom-stuff with one of my sisters-in-law, we started talking about the different personalities emerging from our growing children. Some of them are more sensitive, others confident, some defiant, some more helpful.

We agreed that we wouldn’t change our kids, even if we could, and it was interesting to see them all interact over three days. One thing we talked about a little was building the confidence of the ones that needed it. And that made me think about a part of childhood I think it’s easy for adults to overlook. Children need encouragement and praise.

Sometimes it’s easy to look at what our children show us - a chore complete, a craft designed, a room cleaned - and it doesn’t meet with what we would consider a good job. So we tell them what’s wrong with the picture they painted, the spots on the window they missed, the wrinkles not straightened on the bedcovers. Instead of looking at the job they did complete and the accomplishment they did do, we are often too quick to point out what is wrong with their effort.

So why is this a problem? Think about it in your present life situation. Do you enjoy always having the negative of your efforts pointed out? Do you enjoy hearing, “Good, but not good enough”? Would you like your boss or spouse or friend to always tell you what you are doing wrong? I believe if we are honest we have all been in that position and found it uncomfortable and frustrating. Why try our best when we know it will be picked apart and all our work will be devalued?

For the Christian, we know that God has created everyone and given everyone talents and abilities to use for his glory. Children are learning not only how to do things like chores and drawing and reading and serving, they are learning how they can use their particular talents in a broader sense to serve God. But if their tries and efforts are constantly ignored or corrected without any mention of well done, good try, etc, they will soon stop trying and maybe think they aren’t good enough at anything to contribute to.

Before I go on, I want to point out I’m not advocating we never tell children no or instruct them in how to do things. Children need guidance and help, especially when learning a new skill or task. And many times a firm no is needed to keep children from danger they don’t see or recognize. However, it is possible to guide and instruct, to correct and rebuke in a loving way and with some positive remarks.

I struggle with this sometimes. It’s not easy to put aside our first reaction and choose something more loving. But one recent event keeps coming to mind that taught me so much about the importance of choosing encouraging words over critical ones.

My children have their own bathroom with a large counter and mirror. I have occasionally given them the Windex and papertowels and asked them to clean their area. One day my four year old son came running to get me with pure excitement on his face. He took my hand and dragged me into their bathroom with a triumphant point at the mirror. You couldn’t see your reflection for all the smears and smudges. He quickly explained that he saw the mirror was dirty, grabbed his spray bottle full of water, and went to town, wiping it all with a washcloth. My first thought was to be upset that he had created more work for me. But then I looked at his face - practically glowing with pride - and I changed my response. With a hug, I told him I appreciated his desire to help without being asked but then I reminded him we use a special spray bottle to clean mirrors. I took what he would need into the bathroom and he cleaned the whole mirror again, just as excited as before. After another hug, I told him he could clean the bathroom whenever he wanted but to ask me for the special spray first.

Children really do thrive with just a few words of encouragement. A thank you or good job can go so far. And you don’t have to only praise your kids! If you work with children in sports, school, church, etc, recognize their efforts and congratulate them on a job or a try well done.

I’m afraid sometimes we withhold praise because we don’t want our children to think they are perfect or above others. But trust me, my children know they are sinners, that Jesus is the only perfect person, and that everyone on earth is created equal in God’s eyes. But I also want them to know I see their efforts, I appreciate their tries and attempts with new things. I never want them to give up because of something negative I said to them.

How can you encourage your children today?

Photo by Susan Holt Simpson on Unsplash

Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. It’s my favorite holiday but not because of the traditional food, football and parades, afternoon turkey induced coma, or amazing sales. I enjoy gathering with loved ones, reminiscing about the year, and taking time to be thankful.

I know thankfulness is an action we should participate in everyday, not just the month of November. And I truly try to show my thankfulness to God at the end of each day. But some days are easier than others. Sometimes when we look around, the circumstances seem too great to give thanks. We might think, “Surely we aren’t supposed to be thankful for this!”

The Apostle Paul had his share of trials. Imprisoned and beaten, Paul suffered many physical difficulties yet in Philippians 4, he reminds us, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need.” (vv 11-12) Verse 13 reminds us where he is getting the ability to persevere: “I can do all things through him (Christ) who strengthens me.” A few books later, he tells us in I Thessalonians 5:18, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

Clearly thankfulness is something that should resonate easily with Christians. So why is it so often difficult to name our blessings? Sometimes it might be because we are looking at the world’s definition of what should make us thankful: nice house, new car, perfect health, happy family, money, good job. While it’s not wrong to be thankful for these things if we have them, as Christians we need to realize things in and of themselves are not responsible for our happiness and should not be the basis for what we are thankful for. Because of what God has already given us {salvation, grace, forgiveness} everything else in this world can’t compare.

As we celebrate Thanksgiving with all the traditions and fun and food, let us take time to be thankful for this past year and honestly count our blessings, remembering to give thanks in all things.

Photo by Alfred Schrock on Unsplash

Why We Homeschool

Recently someone asked if I homeschool because it’s easier than getting my kids to traditional school. I had to smother a laugh. Yes, I’m glad I don’t have to shuffle kids into the car each morning and brave the pickup line each afternoon. Yes, we love taking vacations when everyone else is tucked behind a desk. But our decision to homeschool is so much deeper than these reasons touch on. And it is far from easy.

**Before I begin let me say that how you choose to school your children is a personal choice. Homeschool is not for everyone and within homeschool there are various types {free schooling, classical, structured, online, etc}. My point in this post is not to shame anyone for choosing different than we have chosen, nor is it to say our way is best. But whenever people find out we teach our kids at home I get two immediate reactions: 1) people think I’m amazing and super patient for doing it, 2) they want to know why we chose to educate this way. So I figured a blog post would dispel some of the rumors of my patience and answer the incredulous question “Why?” Keep in mind different families homeschool for different reasons. Some of what I have below may not apply to all who school this way.**

Last week, I was explaining the hundreds place to my older daughter while cutting out a paper bat for my son and holding my nine month old who happened to be screaming in my ear. At that moment, our decision to school at home was anything but easy or desirable. When we left our little schoolroom - basically a walkin closet - I asked myself why I was doing this. And it wasn’t the first time I’d asked.

I’m going to first address the reasons people assume we homeschool but are false. These are things people have said about our decision but are not true for us.

-We don’t trust other people. This is almost laughable. I enjoy it when my kids can learn from others. For three years we were involved in a Co-Op and most of the time I was not with my kids for those three hours every week. Giving my kids the opportunity to sit in a classroom and listen and raise their hands was great for them. They also take music lessons and self defense classes from people outside our family.

-We only teach what we believe. This is a big one. My kids know about evolution, other religions, ancient mythology. We don’t shelter them from the world. But we do get to teach them through a biblical worldview lens, answer their questions without going through a third party, and choose when to introduce topics. Anyone will tell you children develop at different rates. So being able to see what my individual child can process and grasp and choose when to start talking about evolution vs creation, etc is a huge benefit of homeschool. And I’ll be honest, some of the questions they randomly ask from talking to friends, watching Netflix, or reading still catch me off guard. But I’m glad we have the framework of learning together daily to approach each question in turn.

-It’s less expensive to homeschool. Again, completely false. For two years we participated in ‘public online school’ where I was sent all the material and could teach it how I wanted and it was completely free. However, we had to do state testing, online meetings with a teacher, and keep to the district school schedule. The benefit was FREE!! But we decided we wanted to choose curriculum and my daughter was tired of having everything online. So now we purchase books, manipulatives, learning resources, etc that we want to use in addition to paying our state taxes for education.

So now that I’ve covered why my husband and I DON’T homeschool, why DO we?

-I love learning with them. It can be draining to go over the same concepts day after day and wonder when we’ll move on, but once it clicks I love seeing the pride and joy they take in it. And it really stretches me also. I have to change how I explain something or find another example that maybe will help them better. And their curiosity about things keeps me learning and exploring and seeing the world through new eyes. My kids love animals and over the last few years, I have learned more random animal facts and watched more nature programs than I thought possible.

-We get to learn together. My son doesn’t realize it but he knows more at four years old than I did. Because he has never liked to be alone, for the last three years he’s been sitting in on school with his older sister. When we read, he’s right there answering questions about the scene and characters. When we do science experiments he wants to watch the “volcano” explode and plant his own bean seed and everything. The other day, we were reading about Annie Sullivan and Helen Keller and he closed his eyes and covered his ears, trying to imagine a life lived in darkness and silence. Knowledge doesn’t have age limits.

-We can take time for extra things. My daughter loves crafts and art. So we’ve been learning about different artists every other week and doing a craft project. Since she’s taking piano lessons, we’ve also been learning about composers. I’ve already mentioned our animal fascination and we regularly check out the live animal cameras at the San Diego Zoo and a few other places, just to see what the pandas in Washington DC might be doing on a Wednesday afternoon. With online resources and YouTube, it’s amazing what we can learn about. And that doesn’t include our library trips!!

-I get to be with my kids all day. Moment of honesty: sometimes this introvert wishes I had a day to myself. I am far from perfect in my attitude and cheerfulness and joy every moment of everyday. But being a stay at home homeschooling mom has grown me and stretched me and taught me a lot about myself. I’m not as patient as I would like, I like things done a certain way, I definitely need grace and strength from God. When I look back on each day, I’m amazed at all the little blessings I saw. My daughter reading to her brother for Book It points, my son tracing his name with master concentration, the older kids playing with the baby and setting the table. They sometimes fight - we deal with hurt feelings and bad attitudes and complaining just like everyone else - but I am there to help them apologize and forgive and start a dance party. Though the days be hard I’m thankful this is what we’ve chosen.

As I said before, people choose how to educate their children for different reasons and our choice is not the right one for everyone. You may start with one type of school but switch as your family changes. But whatever your choice - public, charter, homeschool, private, online - remember that you as a parent are your children’s biggest influence. Even if they aren’t with you most of the day, get into their lives, learn with them, laugh with them, teach them. God placed your children in your family for you to disciple them. Pray for these gifts from God and never take a moment for granted.

For more reasons I love homeschooling, check out this post.

Photo by Evan Kirby on Unsplash

Showing Grace When We Would Do It Differently

Imagine this scene. Two homeschool moms are talking about the curriculum choice they made for their children. The first mom says they really enjoy the curriculum they are using. The second mom is semi familiar with it but quickly states that that curriculum is far too expensive and there's no way she would pay that much for books when there are other less expensive options available.

The first mom fires back that it's not as expensive as the second mom thinks and the quality of the material and the convenience of the program make it the perfect choice for their family. As both women go back and forth about the pros and cons of their choices, both get more involved emotionally and neither of them change opinions.

Now I used the example of what they choose to teach with because it's a debate I've heard in homeschool circles. They could just as easily have been discussing homeschool vs regular school or what food they feed their family or whether or not they vaccinate or a 100 other choices we make for our families.

The simple truth is that for everything we decide to do, there is a flip side we're choosing not to do and it often comes down to personal preference, family size, what we've found works best for our lifestyle, etc. It doesn't automatically make the other choice wrong - that option just doesn't work for our family.

The sad thing is many a mom has left a conversation like this feeling run down, questioning her decisions, angry, frustrated, maybe feeling personally attacked. Some moms might quickly shrug off an encounter but she probably replays it in her head a few times and mentions it to her husband. Other moms might start to doubt the decisions they've made for their children, rethinking choices and losing sleep because of someone else's opinion.

The simple truth is that no one is perfect. We are all trying to raise our kids well, doing what we believe is best for them. But our decisions shouldn't be a mandate for others to follow. Do we make mistakes? Of course. Can we change our minds? Absolutely. God gave us children who are different from other children, he gave us abilities and interests different from other moms, personalities that are not cookie cutter. Why would we think there's one way to do things when our families operate differently?

Multiple times we as Christians are called to unity. We are called to build each other up, to strive to be like Jesus (I Thess. 5:11). If we are following God's Word and raising our children to follow after Him, the choices we make reflect those values. And a mom who raises her children differently but desiring the same goals is doing what's best for her family.

Now I want to point out something quickly. Obviously if a mom is making sinful choices for her children {like encouraging them to do something illegal, or something against the principles God has outlined in the Bible} we should lovingly confront her with the problem. But let’s be honest. Usually the discussions we have and debates we enter into are more things of choice and preference than biblical command.

We need to show grace to others in a very practical way. It's acknowledging that the decisions other moms make are okay, even if they differ from ours. It's listening to why she made those choices and not demanding she listen to our choices and change her mind. It’s loving others as God loves us (John 13:34; I Peter 4:8-9).

Photo by Magdalena Raczka on Unsplash

Taking Time for Words and Pie

It all started with Amelia Bedelia.

This past weekend my mom took my two older kids for the afternoon with an interesting challenge in mind: make a lemon meringue pie from scratch. After reading the first Amelia Bedelia book - where she makes a mess of everything except her famous lemon meringue pie - my oldest daughter was enamored with the idea of making that same dessert. And since making pies isn’t foreign to my mom, she requested that Grammy buy lemons, pull out her recipe book, and start baking!

My son decided to join the adventure because it meant going to Grammy’s house! Of course he wanted to tag along! So it was with excited smiles from the kids that I dropped them off on an autumn Saturday.

Several hours later, my dad dropped them back home with the words, “It took three hours to make two pies but they did it.” And for the next hour my son explained to me how he had been the only one strong enough to squeeze the juice from the lemons. Sister tried and gave up but he could do it. And he had squeezed every lemon. My daughter talked about rolling dough, eating pie crust cookies (Mom bakes the bits of cut off crust with cinnamon and sugar) and homemade lemonade, and spending the day with Grammy.

From an adult perspective it was a fairly unremarkable day, made a little more difficult by ‘helping hands’. But for my kids it was an event. When we finally tasted the pies after church on Sunday neither of them liked it - too sour, too tart, too yellow - but they were very proud to let everyone know how they had contributed to the making of the dessert.

I think sometimes in life we want to do grand gestures for and with others. Invite them for a five course meal, go on a weekend trip, buy the toy our kids are begging for. But sometimes the efforts that seem the smallest to us are the ones that make the biggest impact. Sending a card on their birthday, taking time to listen, texting a greeting if they’re sick, making time to bake.

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Have you ever thought of building others up and showing them grace merely with your words? Both written and spoken words have such power, to build up or to tear down. It might seem like the simplest thing we can do - to speak loving, encouraging words - but we so often overlook it. It doesn’t take money or special skills. It just takes time and a little effort.

When my kids came home bursting at the seams with excitement and pride over their pie making afternoon, they were obviously delighted with the day. My mom had fun too, although probably of a different kind. But isn’t that the way of doing for others?

Photo by Anvision on Unsplash

An Attitude of Prayer

Sometimes prayer is like the red headed step child of our Christian lives. We know we should do it, we feel bad when we don’t, but we just can’t seem to find the time.

Until we need something. Until a trial appears and we realize how much we need to lean on God’s strength to get through this life.

Every time I’ve taught a lesson to children about I Thessalonians 5:17 the question always comes up: how do we pray constantly (or without ceasing)? Do we walk around with our eyes closed?

Obviously Paul isn’t talking about stopping our lives and spending all day in a prayer closet. But note that in this passage, he book ends the thought on prayer with “Rejoice always” before it and “Give thanks in all circumstances” after it. Clearly he means for all three of these things {rejoicing, praying, thanksgiving} to be done on a continual basis.

So how do we pray continually? Jesus gives us a model to follow in Matthew 6 with the Lord’s Prayer. He acknowledges Who he is praying to (v 9), asks for God to work how He will (v 10), asks for the daily need (v 11-12), and the strength to do what we should (v 12), and finally for protection (v 13).

Think about this. These are all things we need everyday, throughout the day. These are not one time needs. And maybe sometimes we don’t know exactly what we need or how to ask. This is especially true in the middle of a difficult circumstance. But we are still told to pray without ceasing. To pray throughout all we do.

This idea forces us to not distance ourselves from God. If we don’t know Him, why would we ask for Him to provide our needs? If we don’t know Him, how can we trust He will help us or forgive us? To keep an open conversation with God means we must seek Him daily. Not when we have time. Not when it’s convenient for us. But constantly.

Like many things having an attitude of prayer requires work and effort and a daily accounting of how we’re doing. But the joys of continually communing with our Creator are worth every moment of our time and energy.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash