Good, Better, Best

One of the joys of being a homeschooling mom is that I get to teach my kids about many different things.

The hard thing about being a homeschooling mom is that I have to teach my kids about many different things.

Do those seem at odds? Let me explain. I don’t just get to teach the fun things that I love and find interesting. Things like literature, history, geography, and art are all really fascinating and, I think, fun to teach. But then I also have those other subjects. Things like math and science and grammar that just aren’t…fun. And because they don’t appeal to me, I don’t always enjoy the process of laying out the facts behind these subjects.

But what! You might be asking, “How can a person who loves reading and writing not like grammar?! Aren’t those related?” Well, here’s the thing. Because I’ve been reading and writing for so long and have loved to for so long, the grammar is kind of lost on me. I don’t think about the rules or parts of speech or the technical terms of what I’m doing. I just use the language and it makes sense to me. It sounds right.

So when I’m faced with explaining to my children how to diagram a sentence, what the different phrases in a sentence are, singular vs plural rules, and tenses…it just doesn’t excite me. I find it monotonous and it’s really hard for me to not just say, “Can’t you hear why that’s not right?” to my second grader who’s never heard a word labeled as a direct object before.

I know a lot of people have issue with the weirdness of the English language {been there} and one of the harder things to teach and get is when a word doesn’t follow the rules. My son and I were talking about adding an -er or -est to a word {like fast, faster, fastest} to help us describe something more clearly when he — totally believing he had caught on and was about to impress me — said, “Like good, gooder, goodest!” To which I took a deep breath, prepared myself, and said, “Nope. Some words, like ‘good’ have their own rules.” His eye roll and frustration were completely understood.

That launched us into a conversation on good, better, and best and why it gets special attention. Then we practiced using each word correctly {He is good at math but she is better at spelling}. And it got me thinking about the good, better, and best situations in our lives.

Sometimes in practical living it’s difficult to distinguish between what is good and better. We want to believe that the opportunities we choose are the best options for us. The things that we want to do, the choices that offer the biggest paybacks or results or growth. We want to be people that choose the best for us and our families.

Often the problem comes when we have to stop doing something good in order to do something better. If you’re like me, you think, “I can just cram this other thing into my life because it’s a good choice but I don’t want to give up anything I’m currently doing…because those are all good things too!” But then all the running around to all the “good” things wears us out. We become short and temperamental with our families because we’re tired. We don’t fully enjoy the things we’re doing because we always have one foot out the door to “get to the next thing.” We moan over our busyness but we don’t want to give anything up. “It’s all good,” we tell ourselves.

But sooner or later, something will break. Something will have to be given up, no matter how “good” it is. And sadly, as a pastor’s wife I’ve often seen church as one of the first “good” things to go. People have offered reasons like “Our family just needs a day to ourselves” “We’ll be back when schedules slow down” “We want to be there but we’re so busy” and on they go. What breaks my heart in these excuses is that people are choosing to give up the best thing for their family {being in a church community, learning about God together} for a good thing.

These “good things” vary but when I talk with people, it usually comes down to prioritizing other things and getting so tired they need a free day and that becomes Sunday. Because it’s easier to not come to church on Sunday than miss a soccer game on Saturday. You see, extra curricular things for your kids aren’t bad. Those can be good things that teach valuable lessons. But when you choose to spend so much time on those that your family is too tired to come to church, the “good” activities have replaced a better option {i.e. church}.

Now I know vacations, sickness, unforeseen circumstances happen and keep us from meeting on Sundays. Even as a pastor’s family, we miss services on occasion. But when we get into the habit of making Sunday our “free day” and we do all the good things through the week, thinking we can always regroup on Sunday if it’s too much, we need to seriously reevaluate what we consider good, better, and best in our lives.

And this isn’t just about church. Think how easily we can push daily Bible reading and prayer out because “We have to get to work, take the kids to school, get homeschool done, have coffee with that friend, tackle those chores, make dinner, get everyone to their after school activities…” Now when we read this list, these things aren’t bad. Most of them are necessary {work, food, education, etc.} but when the list takes the place of spending time in God’s Word, we need to think about our priorities and how things can be rearranged to give more time for the best thing.

It’s difficult to stop doing something “good” in pursuit of something “better.” Sometimes it feels like we failed or gave up. But the truth is we can’t do everything and our culture is constantly bombarding us with possibilities. Sometimes certain seasons of life mean we can’t do all the good things we want. But that season will pass and we can say yes to other things.

As nice as it would be, there are no hard and fast rules for what is “good, better, and best” in our lives. Choosing the best requires us to take an honest look at our lives continually. What is good today might need to be replaced by something better next week. But, unlike pesky grammar rules, I can guarantee that choosing God over whatever the world throws our way will ALWAYS be the best choice. Reading your Bible, praying, being in a church family should never be cut out to make room for something better. Because that “something better” will not be worth it.

Photo by Patrick Bald on Unsplash

Does Worldview Matter?

In Christianity, there are many ‘buzz words’ that people talk about, debate, and hold as important.

Something we don’t often think about is our worldview.

We think, “I’m a Bible believing, born again Christian” and that’s the end. While it should be that simple, our culture and world has a way of making everything more complicated. Or maybe you naively believe it’s not important to have a worldview. So what is a worldview and why is it important?

The dictionary definition of a worldview is “a comprehensive conception or image of the universe and of humanity's relation to it.” Let’s break that down.

Comprehensive - a large scope or a thorough understanding of something.

Conception - an idea, beginning, or plan.

Universe - the cosmos, space.

Humanity - the human race, all people in the world.

Relation - a connection, or the association between things.

By putting all these pieces together, we could restate that your worldview is a “thorough understanding of an idea or plan of the cosmos and how the human race connects with it.”

Despite what the world may tell you, everyone has a worldview. Everyone has some framework or idea for how all people relate to the rest of the world and all the universe. It’s basically the backbone of what you believe and how you interact with the world because of what you believe. Even if someone doesn’t believe in a god or follow a certain religious belief, everyone believes in something. Even humanism is a belief. Even atheism is a belief.

So if you don’t think a worldview is important or you don’t think you have one, what do you think after reading these definitions? Does it sound important for how you frame your thoughts on…

relationships with others {respect, love, empathy}

issues of life and death {abortion, euthanasia, murder}

authority {government, The Bible, God}

responsibilities {work ethic, gratitude, family}

Hopefully, you are beginning to see that your worldview — literally the way you view the world — touches and affects how you see everything!

Why can this be a difficult topic for Christians? Because there are a lot of ‘pastors’ and ‘Bible teachers’ who say they are Christians but do not have a biblical worldview on issues like a seven day creation, the authority of God, who Jesus is, homosexuality, abortion, race, marriage, etc. But because they call themselves a Christian or Christ follower, many people are led to believe the Bible is silent, neutral, or oblivious to these issues. And people follow those false teachers in the belief that the world or science has the answers and the Bible is outdated or ignorant. When you aren’t using the Bible as the lens for how you see and live in this fallen world, it’s going to be very easy to simply follow the game plan of the world.

Put that way, worldview sounds a little more important, doesn’t it?

This may sound shocking but hear me out. There are two sides — God and Satan. If you aren’t following what God has laid out for us in the Bible, you are following Satan. The Bible is clear that the Devil is not a passive participant in what goes on {I Peter 5:8}. He knows God wins in the end but he isn't a quiet loser. He wants to deceive and bring down as many people as possible and he uses any means he can to do it.

When we don't keep the truth of the Bible before us and use it as our guide for how we live and what we believe, we will be susceptible to believe what we hear in the world. Satan is a good liar! Remember his deceit with Eve {Gen. 3:1-5}? He tempted her with half truths. He didn't directly attack God or his character. He asked a question and lied. The fruit looked good {Gen. 3:6}! The lies of a secular worldview look good! False Christians sound like they get it and they throw in enough truth to make us listen. If we are only hearing them and our own wisdom, we will easily be swayed.

Second Timothy 3:16-17 reminds us that Scripture was given by God to teach, rebuke, correct, and train us. Not so we can claim wisdom on our own but to complete and equip us. So when Satan throws his lies via the world, we can know we stand on a firm foundation.

In case my arguments don’t convince you of the importance of your worldview, I highly recommend this podcast episode from a man who has been in the secular college circle and strongly advocates for Christians having a biblical worldview. Parts of his interview are specifically about preparing your children and teaching your children a biblical worldview, not just expecting them to ‘get it’ from living in a Christian home, but his points are worth considering for everyone.

Photo from Adolfo Felix on Unsplash

Rejoice in Others

Do you have a heard time hearing praise given to someone else?

It’s not something we readily admit because it sounds {and is} selfish. But still there is a part of us that maybe bristles a little when one friend talks about the virtues of another. “I do those same things,” we think, “and no one has told me how great I did. No one noticed when I went out of my way to serve.” And then we cringe at how incredibly selfish we are.

Our society is built on people who promote themselves. In this election year, we’ve had ample opportunity to see people talk about themselves, how they have the answers, how they are the best option. We also see this in celebrities, YouTube stars, athletes. If you want to get noticed, you have to sing your own praises.

But as Christians, there’s something that stops us {or it should} from blowing our own horn about how we serve others. Still, it doesn’t take away from that desire to be recognized. We might be tempted to think certain things aren’t worth doing if no one will notice it.

There’s a verse that always convicts me when I start having this mentality.

“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10

The driving force behind everything we do should not be to gain recognition or praise but to serve God. Are we doing certain things because of the comments we receive from people? Are we making certain decisions because we want the world to think well of us?

Pride is at the root of so many sins and it’s not something easily uprooted from our lives. We need to be vigilant, we need to be honest, and we need to have an attitude of repentance when we fail.

The family of God is so full of a variety of people with different talents and desires and abilities. We don’t need to compete for ways to serve God; we can find what he has gifted us in and pursue it for his glory. When people are recognized for a service well done, we need to come alongside them with appreciation for how they contribute to the ministry. It might be something we can’t do, something we actually have no desire to do. And yet, they did. And God used them.

We need to encourage each other. We need to grow in Christ together. We need to serve together. And God will use us in ways we couldn’t manage on our own.

Photo by John Mark Smith on Unsplash.

The Importance of Story

I love a good story. There are some genres or styles that I prefer, but if there are well developed characters with a compelling plot, I’m all in.

I’m not only interested in fiction stories, however. I love hearing about someone’s life stories and experiences. Many times, I’ve been completely surprised to hear the jobs people have had, the things they’ve seen or places they’ve traveled. It’s one of the joys in talking with friends and meeting new people. You can’t tell someone’s story with just a quick glance. It takes time, effort, and genuine interest.

In today’s ‘me’ focused culture, I’m afraid we’re losing our love for story. Sure, we are thrilled to share OUR story and experiences with everyone, but how often do we actively ask and listen and pursue the stories of others? Sometimes experiences shared with others are hard to hear. Real life doesn’t come with guaranteed happy endings and often our greatest moments of learning and growing in life come because of difficult things. But that’s why it’s so important to listen and care about the stories people share with us. They are giving a glimpse into themselves. And often the passions, values, and traditions of people are a direct result of their experiences.

Another benefit I find in listening to others is hearing their perspective. We all have our own voice, our own way of perceiving the things around us. I love listening to my kids tell about their day. The things they choose to include in the nightly report and the details they give tell me something about them. Often my takeaways from the day are much different than theirs, and we’ve been together all day, doing the same things! Yet their perspective and voice are not mine. Some events are so shattering that we all experience them. Pearl Harbor, the assassination of JFK, 9/11. For the people who were alive during those events, they each have memories, a story, a perspective on where they were and how things changed after. Unless it is shared and recorded, that perspective will be lost.

So how do you start sharing your story or appreciating the perspective of others? For yourself, start a journal. Even if you write sparingly, record your strengths, fears, thoughts about life, and memories. Then start asking questions from the people around you and listen — actually listen. Listen with interest and intention. I believe if we start appreciating the stories of others and investing time in those around us, we will grow closer to each other and learn more.

Photo by Wu Yi on Unsplash.

The Necessity of Fellowship

Have you ever found Sunday the most difficult morning to get out of bed? As a family, we try to make Saturday nights low key and laid back so we can prepare for the next day. But somehow, even if everyone goes to bed early and sleeps well, the Sunday wake up call is hard to get up for. And in the midst of school, work, sports, busy schedules from all sides, the temptation to sleep in and miss church is a struggle.

“I’ll listen to a sermon podcast,” we say, “I’ll make it next week.”

But the truth is there will always be a reason or an excuse to miss fellowship with God’s people. And when we make a habit of it, we are missing out in several ways.

Full disclaimer: I am not just saying this as a pastor's wife.

The truth is the church is important not just because of what we learn from God's Word but because of the interactions we have with other believers. Part of what we gain by going to church is encouragement from other people. We also have the opportunity to be a blessing to others that would not have happened if we had stayed in our homes and listened to sermons online.

In all honesty there have been some Sundays where I have not felt like getting out of bed and going to church. I didn't force myself to church because I am a pastor's wife. I went because I realized I needed to go, maybe even more so on the days I didn't feel like it. We have six days a week that bombard us with the things of the world. Even if we spend time everyday in the Bible, in prayer, and utilizing resources online in the form of podcasts, sermons, etc, there is no substitute for gathering together with like-minded believers and building one another up in Christ.

When I hear people say they don't need a local church because they listen to ‘XYZ pastor,’ I'm sad for them and what they are missing out on by not having a regular group of people they can worship with. They often make the argument that they can worship anywhere and they choose to worship in their own homes, on their own terms. And while there is a time for us to worship in solitude, it should not be the norm if we wish to truly grow spiritually and seek to help others.

There is a time and a place for the benefits technology can give us. Those that physically are not able to leave their homes and participate in a local church are able to listen to podcasts and sermons and grow spiritually through them. But no matter how great the preacher or how wonderful the message, we should not allow these online moments to be our only interaction with fellow believers.

First Corinthians speaks of the church being like a body (I Corinthians 12:12-31). Each member has a specific talent and ability that cannot fully be used in isolation. The writer of the book of Hebrews instructs us to not forsake the assembling of ourselves together (Hebrews 10:25). Paul mentions often in his epistles that we are to be building each other up (I Thessalonians 5:14), forgiving others (Colossians 3:13), rejoicing with and encouraging those around us (Ephesians 4:15-16; Colossians 3:13).

The idea that we can get everything we need spiritually from an online sermon is selfish. We are promoting the convenience of staying home instead of getting out, going to church, and seeing how we can minister to those around us.

We should also remember that the Christian life is not meant to be a solitary endeavor. From Christ’s own example we see the importance of discipling others and, starting from the early church, we see the importance of gathering together. Think of the joy and unity we see in the church in Acts. For them gathering together was making a statement of who they were identifying with. In some cases it would have even been dangerous to be associated with Christians. But they craved the times together when they could leave worldly influences and come together in the bond of Christ. The same is true of the persecuted church throughout the world today. There are some who are willing to risk imprisonment, torture, or death because of the joy that comes from being with other Christians and worshipping our Lord.

Remember that we are in a spiritual battle. Satan must be delighted when we become Our Own Worst Enemy and choose to fight individually instead of coming together and fighting with other Christians. I've said jokingly to some that Satan must work overtime on Sunday mornings because that is the day the children want to sleep in, the day I am most tired, and the day 100 things seem to happen to keep me from fellowshipping with other believers.

God wants us to grow closer to him and part of this is done by rubbing shoulders with other believers who can help us, encourage us, and who we can turn around and invest ourselves in. There is a true beauty and joy that can only be experienced when we come together, gathering in unity to worship our Lord.

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash