Does anyone else have trouble trying something new?
I have recently been encouraging my kids to try new things: new foods, new activities, new skills. And I’m always met with at least some resistance. “Why try something new?” they ask. “What does it matter?”
To be honest, I’m sometimes right there with them. I would rather make a familiar recipe than try something that might fail. I would rather spend my time on something I know I love than be disappointed when I spend all my time attempting a new skill.
It’s not easy to try.
And yet, it’s so important. Without trying something new, we would never grow. We wouldn’t discover new interests or abilities. We wouldn’t learn the value of sometimes failing. Life becomes boring without stretching ourselves on occasion.
But always there’s that fear of failing. No one wants to fail. No one seeks out discouragement. And we often believe the best way to avoid those pitfalls is to not step out of our comfort zones. But that’s not healthy. While we shouldn’t be reckless and simply run into new things for the sake of doing new things, we also shouldn’t be scared of what might happen if we try.
It’s easy to be controlled by fear without realizing it. We might not feel fearful or afraid, and yet our motivation for what we do or don’t do is based on those feelings. Personally, I’ve hung back from certain things because I was afraid of seeming flighty. I know people who have jumped in and tried something, but it only lasted for a few months before they left that and moved to the next thing. While I would admire their confidence in trying new things, I would wonder if they knew what they were really after. If it was more about thrill and the excitement for something new than really wanting to learn or create something of sustainable value.
I didn’t want to jump from thing to thing. So in my indecision and quest to only do what I would stick with, I didn’t do anything. Didn’t learn any new skills, didn’t try anything away from my comfort zone. I was allowing the fear of failure and what people would think of my efforts to keep me from experiencing anything new.
My turning point came when I started following Emily Lex on Instagram. She challenged herself to do a small watercolor painting everyday for a year to improve her drawing and painting. Everyday she posted her paintings and encouraged others to try something they were interested in. I started my Doodle a Day challenge and began watching/practicing watercolor.
When you’ve told yourself you aren’t as good as XYZ or your efforts aren’t as nice as ABC…it’s difficult to see the value in trying AND showing others. As strange as it seems, it takes courage to try something new, knowing you won’t be as good as someone else…at least not in the beginning.
Something I remind my kids {and myself} is that everyone starts as a beginner. Those who we look at and admire — those who play beautiful music, write moving stories, create breathtaking art, pipe perfect frosting roses — they started by trying, attempting something that caught their interest or found enjoyment in. What we don’t see are the hours of practice to play a perfect sonata, the stacks of journals riddled with ideas and words, the paintings that failed, the frosting that fell and cakes that didn’t rise. No one makes progress without trying and no one achieves beauty without failing a few times.
Instead, we should be willing to fail AND intent on learning from that failure. Trying, falling, trying again, and again, and again. But there’s value in it all. In the success at the end and the trying along the way.
Photo by John Mark Arnold on Unsplash