It's a paradox.
We spend so much time leading up to Christmas preparing everything for the perfect holiday. We want our kids to have a memorable month, we want our family to appreciate the food we prepare, we want our friends to love their gifts. All our energy seems to be pointed at making others happy. Yet this can be the most selfish time of year.
How is wanting the perfect holiday for others selfish? Because often we are wanting our version of the perfect holiday rather than want others want.
Each thing we attempt to do is often shrouded in something we want: perfect photos so we buy matching clothes our kids will never wear again, carrying on a tradition by making the proverbial fruitcake knowing no one will eat it, attempting to do every suggestion for a memorable 25 days of December from all the mommy blogs. We use the excuse it's all for others but we are really putting our checklist at the forefront.
Do we ever go into holidays asking our children or spouse what they want to do? What would really make the day special to them? It might not be exciting or picture worthy. It might involve doing something you really don't love doing. But if we really want everyone to enjoy the Christmas season, shouldn’t we be willing to ask?
I definitely have food and traditions that I love but I try to ask Tommy what meals he likes, sweets he loves, special Christmas things that mean something to him from childhood. And I try to display the sled and reindeer he made as a child.
December is such a busy rush of excitement and activity. It can feel like we’re giving every ounce of ourselves for others. But what if what they wanted was more of us present and less of us doing? We could make memories with our loved ones that were truly meaningful and we could avoid some of the crazy that we put on ourselves “for the sake of others.” Less of us. More of friends and family.
Photo by Freestocks on Unsplash