This week is Thanksgiving and then we rush headlong into the busy season: Christmas.
Everyone knows holidays can be crazy. Extra people, lots of food meaning lots of planning and preparation, decorating, special events, concerts, recitals, parties. I don’t know of anyone who doesn’t have a hundred things going on between now and December 31. And even though we love family and doing special things and making the season memorable for our kids, it’s hard to not become a little overwhelmed.
As my kids get older, I feel more pressure to do things that they’ll remember. If they loved something we ate or did last year, we have to do it this year and the next and the next…. Traditions are important, right? As moms, it’s easy to believe tradition making is all down to us. We have to make every moment of the holidays special, no matter what it requires or how tired it makes us.
The thing is, no one can do everything, as I was recently reminded by a friend. We can pin all the ideas, buy all the trendy stuff, stay up all hours but we’re only human. If we’re too drowsy to enjoy the fun, too irritated to be joyful, too busy to sit and eat, what is the point of it all? It’s not bad to want to make the holidays memorable and keep traditions going, but if we’re so focused on doing all the things that we don’t enjoy them and our joy is actually being replaced with anger and complaining, it’s not worth it.
So how do you stop a grumbling spirit from ruining the holidays? Be honest about why you’re doing things. Is it out of true joy or a feeling of obligation? Are you afraid the holiday will be terrible unless you do XYZ? Are you putting too much on yourself in this season?
Let me give you a silly example. When I was growing up, Thanksgiving meant pulling out the china and making place cards. I loved the food but as a little girl who aspired to be a princess, I loved the beauty and specialness of a well set table. I still love making holiday meals really special by using china, real silverware and cloth napkins, and decorating the table with place cards and candles. Even after having children, I’ve pulled the china out of the cabinet for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter. But this year for Thanksgiving, I bought paper plates and napkins at Hobby Lobby. We’re hosting my parents and some of Tommy’s family and the number of people coming just made real dishes and napkins not realistic. I knew I would love the look of the table set with fine china but I would also be standing at the sink washing dishes long after the meal was over. And probably grumbling to myself that everyone else was off playing games and watching football.
Maybe this would never bother you but I half jokingly sobbed to Tommy that my standards were slipping when I told him we would be using paper this Thanksgiving. Maybe for you it’s not preparing a whole turkey or buying pies from Costco instead of homemade. Maybe it’s asking for help with the meal or changing a tradition slightly. Things like illness, a new baby, changes in the family, or moving are events we sometimes experience around holidays that make traditions difficult or impossible. Give yourself grace and do what you can with a joyful spirit, not expecting perfection.
Photo by Sweta Meininger on Unsplash