Our culture has become one of identity.
We have dozens of ways to categorize ourselves and — intentional or not — it usually leads to categorizing others also. We want to put people into neat boxes so we know what they believe, what they value, why they react a certain way, how to respond to them, etc.
The trouble is people are unique. People have personalities. People are sinful. Therefore, we don’t respond in the same way, we don’t agree with everyone in a given “group.” The trouble continues when we constantly seek to find our identity in the category we place ourselves in.
Maybe it’s easier to give an example. I’m a stay at home, homeschooling mom. Because of this, people have assumed {and I know this because I’ve been told} that I’m patient, that I have no interests outside homeschooling, that I’ve always wanted to be a mom, that I’m a picture of domesticity, that I have no clue what’s going on in the greater world, that I look down on other moms, that I don’t care about fashion….I’m sure you get the point. People make a lot of assumptions about me because they put me in what they believe a homeschool stay at home mom box should look like. And they believe all those things form my identity, my worth, my life.
Now, even if some of the above things were true about me, it would be unfair to categorize me based on those things alone and either praise or condemn me. There is much more to who I am and what I’ve experienced but if you look away from me because of the labels you’ve placed on me, you’ll never know the ‘real me.’
But it’s also very easy for me to identify myself as only a stay at home homeschooling mom and take pride or resent what that looks like. If I compare myself to other moms who make everything from scratch and mop the floor everyday, I will become convinced I’m failing as a mom. If I compare myself to the homeschool mom who plans each hour of everyday to maximize her children’s learning, I will be discouraged that I’m ruining my children’s education. If I compare myself to the stay at home mom with a six-figure side hustle, I can become envious and lose contentment with my life.
The honest truth is every stay at home homeschooling mom is different because THEY are different, in different homes with different kids and opportunities and challenges and….Yes, I homeschool and stay home with my kids, but that’s not the only thing that identifies me.
Another way the culture has highjacked identity is platform building. As someone who has researched the publishing field, attended writer ‘webinars,’ and asked questions of other writers, platform has become a huge buzzword. If you have a platform — a following of people on social media based on a certain topic you write on — you can get a publishing deal. It’s all about platform and if potential readers can identify with you and your writing topic. So you need to make what you write about your identity.
It’s extremely tempting to make my identity what I want it to be. To focus on the externals and the roles I want to be known as. But identity as a Christian is more than whatever we want it to be. God gave us a new life and new identity when we accepted Jesus as Savior.
In a ladies Bible study I’m attending, we’re studying Ephesians and Paul doesn’t waste anytime reminding this church where their identity lies: in Christ. Here is the passage:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, 4even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love 5he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, 6to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. 7In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, 8which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight 9making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ 10as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
11In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, 12so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. 13In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, 14who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory. (1:3-14)
No matter what our outer identity looks like, as Christians we have Christ in common. Categories and stereotypes and things that might divide us according to the world should dissolve because in Christ, we have inherited the same blessings and redemption, we are chosen and sealed, we have hope and life and purpose because we are now in Christ!!
I realize it’s natural to look at what we like, how we spend our days, our stage of life and identify with others who are similar. It’s not wrong to seek out people we have things in common with, but when that becomes our only qualification, we need to take a step back. Look at verse 10 above; Christ came to unite all things in Him. As Christians, we are to be united in the gospel message. Ephesians 2:19-22 reminds us that Christ is the cornerstone and we are “being fitted together…in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together for a dwelling place of God in the Spirit.” (vv.21-22)
If we want to spread the gospel to a broken world, we need to stop focusing on how we want to identify ourselves and consider that God has given us a true, lasting identity in Christ that should take precedence over all else.
Photo by Joseph Young on Unsplash