Stretching Myself

One of the things I ‘resolved’ about this year was that I didn’t want to spend time moaning about what I can’t do. I want to seize opportunities and do my best to have a year I won’t regret.

This doesn’t mean I have a laundry list of things I want to accomplish. Rather as I think of things or hear of things, I want to make space for them and actually stretch myself to try them. My kids have been a huge encouragement to me along these lines because they are always looking for the next thing. They have such dreams and interests!!

There is some fear that comes along with the adventure. Fear of failure, fear of something not working out, fear of others seeing my efforts and rolling their eyes. I’ve always been very aware of what other people think of me. This can be good or bad — there were definitely times growing up where I did the right thing because I didn’t want to be seen doing the wrong thing, not because I wanted to make the right choice. This mindset has also kept me from trying new things. I don’t like failing; I hate letting people down.

But always wanting to ‘put on a good face’ and have success in everything was partly pride and partly fear. I wanted to look great to anyone who was watching {sounds pretty prideful} and I didn’t know what I would do if I tried something and it didn’t work out {there’s the fear}.

So at the end of 2020, I signed up for an online month long writing seminar. Even though I’m not turning in assignments, there are weekly videos to watch, handouts to work through, and a focus on goals. This might not sound scary to you but I’m the person who gets butterflies in my stomach driving to a new place by myself. I don’t do things out of my comfort zone, I don’t particularly like change. But I have greatly enjoyed this month of learning and honing my writing skills and thinking through the creative process.

I’ve also started taking more steps with my writing. I wrote a blog schedule, I have carved out time to work on a book idea and a book proposal to send to agents, I’m brainstorming more content and looking into writing a newsletter. These are all things I’ve consistently been pushing aside because I’m afraid or proud. But I’m finally taking that next step with help and encouragement from my family.

I’ve also continued to try watercolor painting, hand lettering, simple drawings, and doodling. It’s been amazing how relaxing and enjoyable it is. I’ve never been an artist. I usually get no farther than stick figures! But thanks to some YouTube tutorials and Pinterest inspirations, it doesn’t seem impossible anymore. I’m not ashamed to show people my feeble efforts as I learn. I’ve also included my kids at times and we’ve practiced new skills together.

You never know what God is going to use in your life and how he can use even the smallest things to grow you. It’s impossible to try everything in one lifetime but as opportunities arise, I’m not afraid to step out there {within reason} and give it a go to learn something new.

Have you stepped out and tried anything new this first month of 2021?

Photo by Olia Gozha on Unsplash

Making Goals with Open Hands

It’s the new year and some people might be brave enough to make resolutions this year.

With everything going crazy in 2020, I know many people are more hesitant to make a list, plan, etc. And that’s certainly understandable! There were many things on my own calendar that were cancelled in the chaos of last year.

However, I don’t think all planning for 2021 needs to go up in smoke. Maybe we just need to think about it a different way. Go into the year with palms up, hands open, ready to change and modify.

I will say it again for those who missed it: I’m a planner!! Crossing things out of my agenda last March-July was hard. Especially since I love using fancy pens and markers {I would put the winking emoji here if I could}. Making plans just to have them cancelled, everything up in the air and unknown and uncontrollable was very difficult for me. And basically the entire year I was afraid to tell plans to my kids or write them with those fancy pens because they so often weren’t able to happen.

But the frustrations of 2020 will not keep me from thinking about and dreaming up goals for 2021. But I have a different mindset about the point of goals and the benefit of making them.

As I’m thinking through goals for this year and waiting with anticipation and trepidation for what it holds, here’s the process I’m following.

• Prayer. Before I write anything I want to do/accomplish, I ask God to convict me of areas I need to grow in, bring what he wills in my path, and help me seek humility above all else. This isn’t MY year. This isn’t MY life. It’s God’s, and I want to be right where he would have me.

• Write. This can be a list of things to accomplish in different categories (spiritual, health, family, bucket list, etc.), it can be a long journal entry of what I’m praying for this year, it can be a diagram of what to do/when/how. The main thing is I get it on paper! Then I decide what I can realistically do in a year with my current life (family, church, homeschooling, working, housework…).

• Talk. Tommy and I chat about projects we can tackle together, trips we want to make, things we would like to do. I also ask the kids. Usually their suggestions are a little unrealistic (visit Norway and Sweden, recreate dinosaur DNA, build an American Girl room in our house….) but they also request things like camping trips, playdates, sleepovers with Grammy or Nana. Family and memories are so important to me and I want to make room for those too!

I know goal planning isn’t for everyone. I’m not super strict with myself but I do like to sit and think and consider how God would have me use my abilities and time and energy throughout the year. Of course, those things can all change. Maybe we’ll be given extra time {think quarantine} or maybe we’ll walk through a trial with illness or family and not get anything from our list marked off.

For me, it’s not just about the end goal or accomplishing my list — although I love checking things off lists! It’s also about how God grows me and the things I learn through the events of the year. I certainly learned patience and trust, waiting for God’s time and will, and my need for rest and fellowship in 2020. None of those were things on MY to-do for last year but Gods knows best.

Going into 2021, I’m praying, writing, and talking about goals and desires and dreams. But I’m holding them in open, out stretched hands and I might start using a pencil.

Photo by Hayley Maxwell on Unsplash