It’s easy to look like everything is okay.
We do it all the time. We go to parties and lunch with friends but internally we’re weary. There’s a medical problem, a family issue, we’re worn out moms trying to disciple our children, we’re facing trials at work or strife with a coworker. We have weights pressing on us that no one can see. But we can’t admit them. No one wants to hear about our issues — our friends probably have perfect lives. Maybe it’s our pride, our unwillingness to let people know we need a shoulder to cry on. We might fear they will think less of us or laugh because our problem is so small. So we smile and laugh and answer, “I’m fine.”
So where do we fit in? There is a responsibility on both sides of the equation. First, be willing to listen. If you ask someone how things are going, if she’s struggling, or in need of anything, be willing to slow your own pace down and actually listen. I’ve found when people believe we’re in a hurry or busy they purposely choose to smile and say, “I’m fine” and let us continue on. They don’t want to stand in the way of whatever important thing we are heading to. So we miss the opportunity and they continue to shoulder the burden they desperately want help with.
Second, if we are the one struggling and a friend offers a shoulder and a chance to confide, we need to put away our pride and talk. Forget the pressure of looking perfect or having it all together. We are given friends because we aren’t meant to walk alone. There is no shame in admitting we need prayer or wisdom or just the opportunity to explain a hard situation. We might not come away with all the answers but we won’t be lying under the weight of it alone. {I Thess. 5:11}
Third, we have a Heavenly Father who already knows we need help and is ready to supply our needs. He listens when we cry out to Him and He hears the brokenhearted {Psalm 77:1}. I believe we sometimes think since God knows our thoughts and struggles there’s no reason to pray to Him about them. But He wants us to seek Him — actively, purposefully, intentionally.
Think on these words from Psalm 94:18-19 — When I thought, "My foot slips," your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.
Will you bring your trials and heartaches to God today? Will you approach a friend with a clear intention of listening to whatever she shares?
Photo by Roberto Nickson on Unsplash