The Idol in my Kitchen
When we moved into our home in 2018, we knew there were things we would eventually like to change. The location and overall layout of the house were just what we wanted but the kitchen had a few quirks. We knew the countertops needed replacing and the floor was breaking in a few places but we didn’t want to spend money on those until we knew what else might need to be addressed.
We started saving money. We began writing down ideas. We asked what was possible to change and what we needed to make work. And we waited. To be honest, it sometimes felt as if it was the project that would never be. But finally, last summer the demo happened. Cabinets, floors, the fireplace stone were all ripped out. Electrical and plumbing were exposed, walls came down. And slowly over six months, the kitchen was put back together.
I didn’t know that so many decisions could exist in the world but we found them all and sorted through things I’d never thought about! Not just the big decisions like appliances and flooring and cabinet color. But which drawer I wanted my knives in, where I would store the cutting boards, what counter the mixer would be on. Where did I want outlets? How many outlets on each wall? Where did I want the light switch for the under cabinet lights? Which side did I want the garage disposal in the sink? Did I want adjustable shelves in the pantry or fixed? How many cabinet doors opposed to cabinet drawers? Thankfully, we had an experienced team who we knew and trusted and they navigated the questions and options and gave advice. We couldn’t have ended up with the kitchen we did without them! They are heroes!
After six months without a kitchen, eating dinner in the basement from a Crockpot most nights, the day our contractor said goodbye was filled with anticipation and joy. What would we make first?! We could bake, blend, fry, whatever we wanted! We moved utensils and pans to their new spaces and filled up the pantry and fridge. When the kids came down the first morning, they wanted to fix bacon and eggs for themselves. It tasted glorious!
But as I continued to fill our new space and load all the drawers and shelves, a strange feeling of fear crept over me. All the waiting, all the money, all the time. I wanted to be a good steward of the amazing blessing this kitchen remodel was and I wanted to keep it as nice as possible. But I also know how messy cooking is. How was I going to use this space AND keep it perfect? The first few weeks, my family probably thought I had been replaced by a neat freak. A knife with peanut butter would be put on the counter and I would zoom in to clean the knife and wipe the counter. I might have burned myself a time or two with my over zealous need to wipe down the stovetop when it was still warm. I tiptoed around the kitchen, afraid of spoiling it.
One Sunday, I was chatting with a friend who had redone her kitchen the year previous to ours. I lamented how stressful it was to cook now because I was afraid of ruining the things we had saved and waited for. I concluded with, “Who knew a kitchen remodel would bring an idol into my life?” And it struck me with sudden clarity that the kitchen — or maybe the desire for a perfect kitchen — had become an idol. My fear of damaging or misusing something was driving my joy. The whole point of our remodel had been to create a space our family could cook in and instead of gratitude that it had been accomplished, I was afraid it might look like we were using our kitchen! The irony was not lost on me.
Idols are sneaky because something good {family, friends, home and things in it, work} can become idols if we begin valuing them more than the One who gave it to us. When our identity, our joy, our purpose is wrapped up in something else, it quickly starts to control us and how we interact with others. That’s idolatry.
I believe there is a balance. We can be good stewards of the gifts God has given us without veering into elevating those gifts beyond their value. But it takes effort and sometimes it takes a realization that we have gone too far. I’m not neglecting the cleaning of my kitchen to show it holds no power over me. But I am giving my kids space to bake and use the kitchen without hovering behind them, waiting for the mess I will immediately clean. I still wipe my counters and stovetop more often than I used to, which is probably a good thing. But I’m not obsessing over messes that might happen or ignoring the joy my beautiful kitchen gives our family. I’m reminding myself it’s a gift to use and enjoy. And that is what we are doing.
Photo by Collov Home Design on Unsplash