How We Treat Others
One of the first things you teach a toddler is sharing. It’s a hard lesson to learn! The idea of thinking of someone else and putting what we want behind the desires of others is completely foreign until it is taught. Even a very sweet tempered, kind child in personality has a drive to look out for herself, grab what she wants.
But life and living with others is about so much more than ourselves. To live in peace with others means we won’t always get our way. And it means people won’t always agree with us. This idea of getting along with others isn’t just a societal, polite construct. It is a biblical tenant that allows us to show others how knowing Christ changes us from the ways of the world.
The goal of most people in today’s society is self preservation. Do what feels right to YOU. Live YOUR truth. Follow YOUR desires. Fulfill YOUR dreams. Do what YOU want. It’s all self driven and keeping YOU in the center. It doesn’t matter if you offend someone, but someone better not offend YOU! It doesn’t matter how you treat others but people better treat YOU well! We are all not only the heroes of our stories but we are the center of the universe, at least to ourselves. And this attitude is far from what the Bible presents to us.
The Westminster Catechism is a summary of doctrine for Christians. It is hundreds of years old and has been used to teach people Bible doctrines in a simple and easy to remember way: questions and answers. The very first question in the catechism is: What is the chief end of man? Answer: Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. Several texts that this idea comes from are Romans 11:36; I Corinthians 6:20, 31; Revelation 4:11; Isaiah 12:2; Revelation 21:3-4. Clearly, we were not created to think of ourselves first. We are here to bring glory to God, no matter what that looks like in our lives.
But the Bible not only tells us we were created to glorify God, but also that we are to get along with other people. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets” {Matthew 7:12}. That phrase “the Law and the Prophets” refers back to the Old Testament and what God had told the children of Israel to live by. This wasn’t Jesus bringing new information. This was him confirming that the Old Testament was still valid then and is still for us today.
It’s fairly easy to think about how we want to be treated. With kindness, respect, care, humility, dignity. We probably don’t want to be yelled at or put down or called names. But it’s so natural to think that the way we treat people isn’t affecting them because we enjoy telling the jokes or the sarcasm. Possibly we don’t think they deserve kindness or respect because of past faults, stereotypes, or just plain meanness.
I’m not going to get all politically correct here, but when I was younger, I had white blonde hair. I was more blonde than Barbie and it stayed that bright until almost Jr High. I probably don’t have to tell you how many blonde jokes I’ve heard over the years. And the people telling me were friends, people I knew, people who were trying to be more funny than mean, but I still remember it hurt. And I think as a child, it was especially hurtful because I didn’t understand why people would tell jokes about how dumb I must be based on my hair color. My confidence growing up wasn’t stifled just because of the jokes — I always knew I wasn’t the best, smartest, etc. But it certainly wasn’t helped either, feeling like when I made a mistake, I was proof of the dumb blonde stereotype.
However, just because I’ve struggled with how people have treated me doesn’t mean I’m always making the right choices on how to treat others. I’ve said plenty of things I regret, snapped at someone when it wasn’t needed, made a criticism in a less than loving way. And I’m always convicted when I don’t treat others with the respect I should. Is there a time to be firm in the truth, even at the cost of offending someone? Absolutely. If we are calling out sin and evil, we will offend the world. But do I think we ever need to resort to name calling, yelling, bullying, or violence? Nope. We can share Gospel truth without stooping to the level of the culture. The way we treat others, from the tone of voice to the words we choose, is a reflection of the God we say we serve.
Consider this from II Corinthians 13:11, “Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you.” Christians should not be trying to pick fights or always insist on being right. Remember that Paul is writing to the Corinthian believers here and this is the second letter that he has had to confront them on some things. They were not living according to God’s standards in how they lived and apparently, how they treated each other. So Paul closes his letter with this, and you can almost sense Paul sighing that this is the last exhortation for them. When possible, without compromising the truth of the Gospel, we are to live in peace with other Christians.
Romans 12 is another chapter to consider in terms of instructions on how believers should live with others. Here we read about the body of Christ and the importance of each member in the body {vv4-5}. But starting in verse 9 through the end of the chapter, we see short phrases that seem simple in what they say but pack a punch when you consider how they should play out in our lives.
“Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor” {vv9-10}.
“Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all” {vv14-18}.
All of these can be summed up with, “Think of others before yourself” which is completely counter cultural. How we treat others says a lot about what we value. It also reflects on how we view God and His creation. Instead of the me first, I’m right and you’re an idiot talk, we need to treat others with kindness, handle disagreements rationally, and stand firm in the truth of the Bible.
Bible quotes are from the ESV Bible.
Photo by Erwan Hesry on Unsplash