Most people that know me wouldn’t consider me an introvert. But I am. I’m not super confident. I usually think whatever I’m doing someone else could be doing better. I love reading and quiet and I sometimes need to get away by myself to recharge {and my husband graciously allows me to}.
The point is even though I’m a pastor’s wife, I struggle to walk up to others and strike up a conversation. Once I do muster my courage, I enjoy talking with and getting to know new people. It just takes a lot of deep breaths and pep talks.
As I chat with other women from our church, I hear many of them say they want to get to know other ladies but it’s hard for them too. Maybe they are introverts like myself. Maybe they struggle to know what topics to bring up. Maybe they are super outgoing and they don’t want to overwhelm someone.
We all have barriers that can make it difficult to reach out to those not in our already formed circle. Yet we know we should be reaching out. So how do we move beyond our comfort zone and engage with those around us? A few helpful ideas are:
Invite current friends and a new acquaintance over for coffee or a playdate if they have kids. This will take some of the pressure off of conversing one on one with a new friend and introduce them to others.
Write down what you talk about. I find this very helpful when I'm first meeting someone. After we chat, I write in a journal a few things I learned about them, what they enjoy, where they've been, etc. It gives me ideas of things to ask them about next time and keeps my memory fresh of what they've already told me. Of course, the better you know someone the more this becomes organic and natural.
Ask if they text. If they do, send a message on occasion to ask how they are, if they have prayer requests or anything special for the week. It's a small thing but it's a great way to stay connected.
My point is even the small things add up to friendship gradually. Getting to know someone new takes time and we shouldn't expect to be BFFs with anyone after one occasion. It takes effort, it takes time, but it is worth going out of our way to befriend and encourage someone.
Photo by Micheile Henderson on Unsplash