Friends are such a gift. I am so thankful that God placed us in community and gave us people to walk through life with. I have learned a great deal from the different friends God has given me at various stages of life; things like kindness, listening, gift giving, the joy of watching others succeed, how to encourage others. I have had/do have friends in my life who have demonstrated these things to me and taught me how to be a good friend.
This week, I had dinner with two friends from childhood. I remember playing house and Barbies and dress-ups with them. Sleepovers and birthdays and lots of little girl giggles.
Our friendship has lasted decades. We’ve seen each other through hard times and life changing decisions. Babies and houses and moves and job changes. We have a familiarity because of the years of memories accumulated with each other. I am so grateful for their friendship and encouragement and the fact that time and distance has not taken anything away.
While we often think of friends as being a staple of childhood, adults need friends too! I’ve had several conversations with people lately about the difficulty of making friends as we get older, and to some extent I think that’s true. We become more self conscious, maybe more particular, busier, stuck in our habits. But with all the obstacles, I believe having friends is an important part of life.
Even after all the times I’ve read through Proverbs, I’m still surprised at the number of friend passages. Many of these are warnings to choose the right type of friend, which proves how influential people are in our lives. But we also have verses like:
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another. Prov. 27:17
Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. Prov. 27:9
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. Prov. 17:17
A biblical friend isn’t just someone to have a good time with but is someone who strengths you, who builds you up and offers encouragement. And we never outgrow our need to be encouraged to stand strong in the truth of the Gospel!
This month, I will enter the decade that used to be called “Over the Hill” and I still feel the need for good friends. On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve been having conversations with my kids about their friendships. About playing nice with everyone and not excluding people from games of tag to preteen hurt feelings when old friends start heading in a different direction.
There is always a risk, always a chance of getting feelings hurt or being misunderstood and left out. And as easy as it would be to say we outgrow our need and move beyond all that, it’s simply not true. If anything, as I’ve gotten older I’ve relied on my friends more for sound advice, encouragement when I’m disappointed, and help during trials.
As I go into another year, I’m more grateful for my friends than ever. The ways they help me, point me to truth, make me laugh, enjoy life, and celebrate life’s moments. My 40 years on earth wouldn’t be the same without the people God has brought into my life at times I needed them. And I will always be thankful.
Photo by Hannah Busing on Unsplash